


For what it's worth

by niamcuddles



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-14 01:10:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 120,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2172228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niamcuddles/pseuds/niamcuddles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam has trouble figuring out his life and what he really can't stand are loud, talkative and clingy people, but he would've never thought that getting rid of Niall could be this hard. </p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Again, another story I wrote to keep myself from doing important work, so I hope you guys will enjoy this because the time I used for this might get me in trouble :p

It was quite funny actually, the fact that even though Liam had only been here for a year, he was already getting tired of it, which was more than stupid, hadn't he always wished for some stability in his life? So now that he finally seemed to have it, he still wasn't satisfied, he never was, maybe that was just another example as to why he should keep away from most people, he wasn't good at making friends, or even worse, making an afford to keep them. Well, except for a few maybe. 

"What's up, man?" Maybe the extra weight added on Liam's back that almost made his bag slip should've made him flinch, except for it had happened way too often as to get him to react properly. Now it just made him sigh. 

"How many times will I have to tell you not to do that?" A few billion, considering the fact that Harry was still laughing about it as he slowly let go of Liam again, walking next to him now, not the slightest bit discouraged by the way his friend was staring at him with the most annoyed expression he could bring himself to wear. Who knows, it might help with future 'attacks'.

"Come on, I know you secretly like it." Why would he?

"Actually, not at all, why don't you save your need for affection for your boyfriend instead?" Right after it was out, Liam looked away, regretting his words because hell, that wasn't a good idea at all. A good night of sleep was probably too much to ask for when you live in a flat with a couple.

"Louis' getting enough affection from me, Li, don't worry about that, I'm just trying to save some for you, you could need it." There it was again, the hint of the beginning of a conversation Liam didn't wanna have for his life, he just kept staring ahead, moving out of the way whenever they ran danger bumping into other people. This alone seemed to be too much conversation for a day already. "Where are you heading to by the way, you done for today?"

For a second, Liam considered lying, just so he could get away, Harry was one of his best friends, and only, but he had been busy feeling sorry for himself for still having about five years in this university and he'd rather get lost in thoughts than be accompanied by the one person that never seemed to run out of things to talk about. "Yeah, I just-"

"Great! Let's go for lunch." Yeah and that was why he should have lied, it was too late now though, Harry's hand was around his elbow not a second later, pulling a bit to make sure they wouldn't miss the exit. His face looked pretty happy when Liam checked briefly, the exact opposite of what he felt today, it was a monday, bad enough, plus he had overslept this morning and nearly came too late to his lecture, and now after he was just done with everything, he'd have to go eat something with the most talkative person in the world. Or maybe one of the two, Louis and Harry were pretty similar if it came to annoying the hell out of Liam. Where was Zayn when he needed him? Probably being more productive with his arts classes than Liam would ever manage to be.

They always went for lunch at the same two or three places, it wasn't exactly exciting, it had just become routine, after only one year, all of it. Liam had barely known Harry three years ago, he had been new at school in junior year, not really keen on making any new friends before going off to somewhere else, he hadn't even tried actually, the other boy had just befriended him no matter how hard he had tried to get out of it. So now he was here, his second year at university living with the only friend that had somehow stuck around and his boyfriend, well, and Zayn, who lived in a dorm but who Louis got along great with ever since they had met last year in the same lecture. Which led to all the four of them hanging out at the flat sometimes, Liam wanted to deny it a lot, but somehow he was glad that he wasn't all by himself after all. At least not all the time. 

"Right, we gotta buy some new milk and stuff, but no worries, mum sent me new money last week. She also asked how you are when she called me yesterday. I told her you're being your usual pessimistic self but I'm not sure if she liked hearing that." Harry kept on talking nonstop while they walked down the street, Liam still wasn't turning to look at his friend, he just kept his eyes straight, trying to at least catch every second word while being stuck in thoughts.

Harry's mum was really nice, she had always treated Liam as if he belonged to the family or something, he even got invited for Christmas a few months ago, which he had denied though, he didn't wanna interrupt or anything. Besides, staying alone at the flat had a few advantages too, sleeping in silence for example. Or not having to answer anyone like right now. "Oh… yeah. Well, I got my payment on friday, we can split it up or something."

"No, you hardly even take anything out of the fridge, Li, I just wanted to make sure you come along to the grocery store. I swear to god, every time I go there by myself, all of the things we usually buy are always sold out." He was just too lazy to search, Liam rolled his eyes but didn't say anything, he didn't have a choice but to come along, it would've been unfair anyways even if it was true. Louis and Harry ate most of the stuff they had at home, maybe it was because Liam hated his job so much that he thought about quitting every second day, for which case he could need some saved up money.

"It's fine, I'll come. But I gotta be home before it gets too late, I have to… write this assignment you know." Maybe that lie was overused, Harry threw a side look at Liam, a very critical and knowing one that he saw from the corner of his eyes, not getting anything more than a nod though. Good.

They got their usual orders as all the time, Liam wasn't really experimental, plus they took their usual table too, like in a sitcom or something, only that they were lacking of both the jokes and the interesting plot. 

"I texted Louis, he'll be here in five minutes or something, Zayn's probably busy, he's ignoring me, again." Not very unusual, even though Liam would've been happy about Zayn coming too, it was nice not being the only one feeling awkward when the other two started making out. "Liam, are you even listening to me? You seem really absent today."

While Harry talked, he took a bite of his burger, just in time when Liam lifted his eyes to look at him, trying hard not to pull a face in disgust, going for a pathetic excuse of a smile instead. "Aren't I always?"

"Well, yes, but even more today, did anything um… happen or so?" It sounded very careful, plus Harry pretended to be very busy with his food, as if he didn't care half as much as he did in reality, Liam knew that, but he also knew that it was common knowledge that he didn't really talk about his feelings or anything. That just wasn't Liam, he had told his friends a lot already, no need to overdo it. 

"My day wasn't really exciting enough for anything extraordinary to happen, you know." Of course that's probably not what Harry had meant, but it was true anyways, nothing at all had happened except for the usual.

"Did you finally talk to that girl that keeps bothering me about your number? She's really desperate, Liam, and I have no idea what to tell her and why you keep ignoring her whenever she says hi." That made Liam laugh shortly, this was ridiculous really, he had no idea who that girl even was or why she would bother greeting him, he'd never done as much as looked at her.

"Why don't you just tell her the truth? I'm a heartless monster and not interested in any person but myself." Which was absolutely not true, well maybe the first part, but if there was one human being in the world Liam wouldn't mind not having to spend time with anymore, it would be himself. One reason why he didn't get why Harry and Louis had asked him to move in a flat with them, or stick around at all, but somehow they were and that was really enough company Liam could tolerate. 

"You're such an idiot, Liam, I'm serious." Harry honestly seemed mad as he took a sip of his coke, rolling his eyes at a still slightly amused Liam, opening his mouth to say something else, probably scold him again for being so antisocial, but then his eyes drifted off, suddenly going wider, the grin coming back. 

Liam didn't have to ask or turn around to check for the door, he already knew that it was Louis, only he could put Harry into a good mood that quickly. As disgustingly cute as the sight in front of Liam would get in a second, at least they had dropped the topic now. "Hey, guys."

He was actually only looking at Harry anyways, that's why Liam didn't bother answering, looking down at his phone while Louis dropped into the empty seat next to his boyfriend, according to the sound, kissing him not only one second later. You'd think they hadn't seen each other in months or something when in reality, it had been like six or seven hours, but it still took Liam three fake text messages before it was safe again to look up. "You done, or…?"

"Come on, Liam, don't be like that, I wouldn't say anything either if you brought someone to snog." Louis was joking of course, leaning back now with his arm still around Harry's waist, their lips looked a bit too red, but that didn't keep them from grinning over confidently. 

"Yeah, as if." The last thing Liam could need was a relationship, not that he'd probably be able to find someone who'd want to stick with him anyways, he also didn't want to.

"Don't say that, if you-"

"Hey, Louis!" Some voice cut Harry off mid sentence, it made all of their heads turn in unison, automatically somehow, because if Liam had known he would be staring at some weird kid with a too big grin plastered on his face, he would've spared himself that unnecessary movement.

"Oh… hey! You alright?" Louis smiled after a second, ignoring both Harry's and Liam's confused stares as he waited for the boy to nod and wave before running off after some a lot older looking guys. Now that was very weird, Liam hadn't payed enough attention to anyone, but he was pretty sure one of those guys had sat next to him during one of his lectures. Maybe one of them had a younger brother, not that Liam actually cared.

But Harry did. "Who the hell is that?"

"What?" Obviously surprised by his boyfriend asking so harshly, Louis slowly turned his head to look at him, shrugging his shoulders then. "That's Niall, I told you about him, don't you remember? The one that-"

"Oh! Right." Immediately, Harry's confusion disappeared while Liam's only seemed to grow, he tried not to care, but now he was kinda curious. 

"You guys already thinking about adopting?" It was supposed to be a joke, even though, the boy had really seemed kinda young, even though Liam hadn't really payed that much attention to his face.

"Not yet, Liam. It'd be weird to adopt a boy that goes into the same lectures that I do, wouldn't it?" Now THAT was even more confusing, before Liam could even open up his mouth to ask, Louis was already talking on, obviously not minding again to explain the whole thing that Harry seemed to already know about. "Look, I took this new class this year, remember? Well and Niall's there too, he's only like, sixteen, but he's graduated already, that's pretty impressive, isn't it? Anyways, he's really talkative and obviously very easily attached, he always sits next to me."

"That's cute. He looked cute too, much younger than sixteen actually, you think he got any friends?" As if to make sure, Harry turned around in his seat, Liam unintentionally followed the direction with his eyes, seeing that Niall kid sitting with the other guys now, it looked weird kinda, because they were a lot taller and older too, why'd they wanna hang out with him?

"Looks like it. Well, maybe they just felt too bad saying no to him, but he's pretty smart, and funny too, I like him." Weird, this was just getting more questioning, plus Liam had lost interest a few sentences ago already, he was busy with his food again, not bothering about some boy who apparently was some whiz kid or something, however he had managed to graduate so early, Liam never intended to find out. "Maybe next time I should ask him if he wants to have lunch with us."

"Yeah why not, he-"

"Wait, wait. Why would you do that?" Both of them stared at Liam as he interrupted without a second thought, hell, he didn't need this Niall guy to sit next to him and talk his ears off about how smart and brilliant he was for being in university already or whatever, besides, Liam was almost 19, what'd he talk about with a 16 year old if he couldn't even talk to people his own age? 

"Um, why not? Not everyone keeps a three mile radius distance from other human beings, you know." Louis just shrugged when Liam glared at him briefly, even though it wasn't an insult, it was just the truth. "Besides, he's got better scores on the last exam than me, I could need him to explain some things to me." 

"You don't need to invite him to eat lunch with us for that, where's Zayn gonna sit then, huh? That's pretty unfair if you ask me, he-"

"Liam, what's wrong with you, seriously? First off, I didn't ask you at all and second of all, Zayn is hardly ever here and he could grab a chair." He could, but damn, Liam had no arguments left other than his absolute non existing interest in this boy or whoever else, it'd just end like always when one of them dragged other people to their flat or somewhere to hang out with them, Liam made sure to disappear quickly, not talk to them too much. 

Because of the tension, no one spoke a word for a second, Liam didn't really feel like answering anymore so he focused on his food again, not caring about the awkward silence and leaving it to Harry to clear his throat before going over to some less dangerous topic. 

This had happened a lot of times, that they got into discussions about topics like these or stuff like 'Liam, you know if you went out with us then maybe you'd get to know someone' and 'we just don't want you to be lonely', which was ridiculous, Liam had his reasons for everything he did, plus he didn't want to get to know someone, he was perfectly happy. Or maybe not, but it was not something some stranger or even his friends could fix anyways.

Liam quickly forgot about what had happened again, mostly because he didn't care that much about it, but also because the other two kept him busy with talking nonstop like usually, so they sat there for almost two hours and Liam even almost forgot the fact that his day had been shit and boring when they got interrupted once more. By the same person, of course, because the universe hated Liam. "Um, hey, Louis, do you wanna study with me for this test sometime? I just thought, it'd be easier."

This time, Liam didn't look up anymore, he had recognized the voice now, so he just kept staring at his fingers, playing with some napkin as he hoped that Louis would not get ideas and invite Niall over to their flat or something. The worst part was, Liam couldn't even complain about any visitors, the flat belonged to Harry's stepdad, and he let them live there for free. "Sure, that's a good idea. Oh, by the way, that's Harry and Liam. And that's Niall."

Great, now the introduction forced Liam to look up briefly, studying the boy's appearance for a second, he looked very young, his hair was obviously dyed blonde on top, it was flat but he could still see the brown roots. But the thing jumping into Liam's mind first was the boy's happy face, really, he looked like he was having the time of his life right here, grinning from one ear to the other as Harry talked to him, also smiling very disturbingly. "Hi, there. Where'd your friends go by the way?"

"Oh, they left, I wanted to go too actually, but then I remembered that I wanted to ask Louis that." Fine, could he leave now, his voice was kinda annoying Liam, or maybe it was because this whole kid annoyed him for some reason. 

"You can sit down, if you want to, I mean, Liam maybe looks like it but he won't kill you." What the hell?!

Immediately after Harry's offer, he threw Liam some look, ignoring his glare and just shrugging slightly, awesome, this was just perfect, next time he could go to the fucking grocery store all by his bloody self. "If it doesn't annoy you guys."

"Actually-" Liam started, not minding to be rude now, but he didn't even get to finish halfway, Louis obviously sensed what he was gonna say, cutting him off.

"No, of course not, come on." Louis gestured to the free seat next to Liam, not even sparing him one look, maybe it was better that way or Liam would've jumped over the table to strangle him. 

"Okay." Niall chirped, he seemed happy as ever dropping down, luckily having enough sense to keep a normal distance, maybe he'd just ignore Liam and he could get up and leave without- "Hey, Liam! I think I've seen you before, we're in the same philosophy lectures."

Wow, Liam would have to stop going to his lectures now, brilliant. "I don't think so."

"Sure! There's not that many people there, I've seen you." Maybe that meant Liam should've recognized everyone from there when the truth was, he couldn't have named one person, what was wrong with this kid, was he stalking every single student or something? "Actually, yesterday, you know when the professor-"

"I gotta go now." It was more than rude, Liam was well aware of that, and if he hadn't, seeing both Harry's and Louis' glares would've made sure he did, it's just, he didn't care at all what Niall was gonna say, hell, he didn't even feel like looking at him. Plus, if Liam listened to whatever story might come out of his always open mouth, he might think that it would be alright to talk to him whenever he wanted to, or worse, _sit_ next to him. "See you guys at home, bye."

Purposely ignoring Niall, Liam also didn't wait for an answer from his actual friends, just gathering his bag before leaving without another comment, they were probably mad at him now, which was fine, they'd calm down again, just everything was better than sitting here for another three hours or something with this annoying boy making it seem more like days.

This wasn't even something personal, it could've been anyone joining them, Liam just wasn't good with people in general, he had also stopped trying at some point and it was better this way, to just stay away from them at all before things got on a friendly level or something, he didn't need that, and whoever the other person was, they for sure didn't need someone like Liam in their lives either.

 

For some reason, Liam was a tad thankful for Niall showing up, simply because that had given him a chance to leave, not that it had been so horrible there, but he knew that he would've had to go grocery shopping with the other two afterwards, so now he had escaped that at least.

Since of course, he didn't have to write said assignment, Liam sat around at the flat for a while before starting to think too much again, he did that a lot, though he didn't mind being alone, oftentimes preferred it, he still decided to go for a run to clear his head a little. It didn't help too much, but it was at least something to do before he'd go to bed, way too early again. 

That was pretty much what Liam's life consisted of now, going to lectures, hanging out with his few friends, sometimes forcefully, and going for runs, sometimes studying of course, but nothing exciting apart from that. And this was an improvement to how it had been before, he had always thought things would be fine once he got to university, with some people he actually cared about and vise versa, a fixed life, having at least some sorta control over his life or an idea where it would lead him to.

But now, somehow it was far off from even getting close to that.

 

——————————

 

The next morning, Liam left early, to avoid having to be confronted by Louis and Harry, he had been asleep already when they had gotten back home, so they would for sure wanna hold a lecture again about how mean Liam had been to Niall and how he needed to get over himself and not mindlessly hate every single person he didn't even know. Which was wrong, Liam didn't hate other people without a reason, he just didn't want anything to do with them.

So since he wouldn't see those two for a whole day now, there was hope that they would have forgotten all about this stupid incident until then, Liam would have probably as well, it's not that some stupid boy could leave such an impression on him. Hopefully he had gotten the message yesterday and would not think that simply because they knew each other he could come and sit next to Liam or something, he'd just be a distraction with all that talking.

Because of it being so early, Liam took a longer way, wasting a little bit time so he wouldn't have to wait for too long before spontaneously deciding to go to Zayn's dorm. Sometimes it still surprised Liam that they had actually become friends, but then again, it wasn't too abnormal either, Zayn was probably most like Liam out of the four of them, plus he didn't feel the need to fill every passing second with talking, which was very nice. 

"Zayn?" Liam knocked a few times on the other boy's door, not expecting him to open up immediately, maybe he was still asleep, it was hard to get him to wake up sometimes, especially when he stayed the night at the flat on weekends and they kinda needed the couch to sit on. "It's me, are you still sleeping or something? I got coffee for you." 

Just because Liam had decided he wouldn't survive this day without enough caffeine, the second cup hadn't even been intended to be for Zayn, but it seemed to be a good idea now to say that. At least it limited the time he had to wait after that down to five minutes before the door opened, revealing a very sleepy Zayn. He didn't look like he had been in bed seconds ago though, somehow his hair, no matter how messy, always looked like it was supposed to be this way or something. "Hey… what are doing, Liam? It's bloody early, are Haz and Louis trying to break the wall again or something?"

"No, not yet, I think they have to let some time pass before they can call someone to fix the holes again without dying of embarrassment." Which had actually happened once, Liam had recommended they put the bed away from the wall, more for his own sake than theirs, but they hadn't listened to him anyways, it was just a matter of time before something happened again. 

"Them and embarrassed? Are we still talking about the same people or did you change flatmates?" Zayn stepped back now to let Liam enter, he had the room for himself, there were times when Liam had considered asking him if he wanted switch places with him, but he had never actually said that out loud. Louis and Harry would be more than pissed and besides that, they kinda were his only friends and he'd have to deal with a lot more than two people in a dorm. "Thanks for that, I can need the caffeine."

Yeah, Liam could've needed it too, which was why he had bought two cups for himself, but he still gave it to Zayn now, pulling the door closed behind him. "No problem. You got anywhere to be?"

"Yeah actually… let me think…" The room was pretty messy, plus it smelled like smoke and as if somehow hadn't opened the window in too long, which probably was the case, but Liam didn't care, he just sat down in Zayn's only chair, watching some drawings lying around on the floor. At least one of them had discovered their talent. "Right, literature. Gotta leave in about 30 minutes, you?"

"Yeah, same…where've you been yesterday by the way? Harry was pissed you ignored him." There was no real interest behind the question, though Harry really had complained a few more times about it, but it just made Zayn chuckle now while he kept on searching for clean clothes.

"Ah, I was kinda busy with … something." Alright, it was probably his girlfriend, now Liam had absolutely no intend anymore to keep asking, he was playing around with his empty cup of coffee, not looking at Zayn while talking. "Why? Did they start making out again? Or suddenly had the urge to pee at the exact same second?"

"No… well, they did make out, but even worse, Louis invited some kid to sit with us, if you don't come along more often they're gonna fill your seat with some stranger, I can feel it." That was exactly what Liam was trying to tell Zayn with that, he needed to come hang out with them more often so it wouldn't always be the other two against Liam, but somehow it didn't really come across.

"What kid?" Liam hated himself for having it brought up, he rolled his eyes to himself, picking up one of the drawings now to look at that instead.

"Um, I don't know… Niall or something. He was bloody annoying, and he's only sixteen or so and thinks because of that everyone is interested in him. As if…" Actually, that wasn't even true at all but Liam felt anger boiling inside of him at the thought of this boy, no reason really.

For a bit, Zayn didn't respond, which Liam understood because there was really nothing to say, but then suddenly he did talk again, with his head half in the closet. "Niall Horan?"

"What? You know him? _And_ his last name?" Liam almost dropped everything at that, staring at Zayn's back in confusion, why was this happening, why couldn't he have one friend who cared and knew as little about this boy as he did?!

"Um, yeah, I think I do. Pretty talkative and hyper, blonde hair? I was in the library doing some sketches and he came over asking me if I could draw him too sometime because he found it so great." And then the worst thing, as if Liam's eyes weren't almost falling out already, Zayn chuckled, _fondly_ almost. "And then he didn't shut up anymore and told me his name and when his birthday was and all that stuff. It was kinda funny actually, what do you have against him?"

"You really have to ask that?! He sounds bloody weird and annoying to me, I think I don't need a reason to have anything against him, he's doing it all by himself." Shit, was Niall seriously running around this whole building making friends with _everyone_ , plus Zayn didn't exactly look very much as if he wanted to be disturbed, especially when he was drawing, but not even that had stopped Niall. He was insane, definitely, and he had a problem with needing too much attention.

"Come on, Li, he's just a kid, let him live. Besides, you're probably not gonna see him very often anyways, he still lives at home I think, a little further away from uni." How calming, that hadn't stopped him yesterday either.

"And you know that because?" Seeing as things were now, Liam wouldn't have been surprised to hear Zayn saying that he had been at Niall's house, maybe with Harry and Louis together, who knows, maybe it wasn't Zayn's seat they wanted to give away. Not that Liam was jealous, no, it was just fucking weird.

"Because he told me? He probably told me a lot more about his private life, but I stopped listening after a while. He didn't mind that either though, he just kept going." This kid was Liam's nightmare, he was just mindlessly watching Zayn putting his clothes on now, not really seeing anything but being stuck in thoughts, this was not at all what the purpose of this visit had been, now he was just angry again. 

"What's wrong with him? Is he going around the whole town introducing himself?!" Well, it was actually quite a big city, but Liam didn't watch his words, he couldn't believe this, he had been trying to forget about yesterday, now this whole thing just carried on. 

"I wouldn't be surprised." Zayn chuckled again, probably because he saw Liam's face as he came over to get some things from his desk, very amused by the situation. "He's like, the exact opposite of you." 

"And you think that's great?" Liam couldn't help but sound a bit mad, which only increased when Zayn bumped his fist against his shoulder, laughing a little too loud considering that this wasn't the slightest bit funny, he needed to get himself together. And Harry and Louis as well. 

"Calm down, Payno, you probably hated me just as much when Louis introduced us and now we're fine, right? You just gotta get to know people first before judging them, you know?" The dark haired boy grabbed his bag now while Liam just remained seated, trying to progress whatever his friend had told him, he couldn't seriously believe that his words would help calm Liam down, actually, they just pushed him further to the edge.

"Get to know him? I already know more about him than I ever intended to find out, so no thank you. He can go and annoy every person he feels like, just not me, and if Louis and Harry or _you_ drag him anywhere near me then I'm gonna leave." A little bit too drastic maybe, but Liam was trying to proof a point here. Which obviously, he failed terribly at, Zayn just rolled his eyes, making some gesture with his hand then, probably to get Liam to stand up.

"I didn't know you could be such a drama queen." And then, before Liam could half open his mouth to defend himself, Zayn was already carrying on, with his stupid talent to end every conversation just like that, even if someone still wanted to contribute to it. "Is it alright if I come over later? The assholes next door have been partying nonstop since saturday."

"Sure, you got a key, don't you?" It should sound a little sarcastic, because hell, Liam was mad and worked up, but Zayn either didn't hear or simply ignored it, probably the last, he just nodded, walking into the hallway before Liam. 

From now on, his day would just go downhill, not that the time he had just spent with Zayn had been so thrilling, but it could only get worse now. And adding up to his usual 'it's only tuesday'-depression Liam had another problem circulating in his head, as if he didn't have enough already.

 

———————————

 

When Liam was finally free to go, after what had felt like weeks or something, he decided to not go home yet, if he stayed away a little longer it was more likely that Harry and Louis would have gone out or something.

Despite his tries to get his mind off, like he had planned this morning, and forget about all of this, he had just been thinking about how fucking annoyed by this boy he was for the last few hours. Which was more than ridiculous, he had seen him maybe one time, so why did he manage to have such an effect on Liam? He knew the answer to that, because Zayn had been right, this Niall guy was the exact opposite of Liam, he was open and loud and talkative, obviously trying to make friends, exactly those characteristics in a person that got Liam more worked up than anything else. And he didn't want to sound like a know it all, but didn't people like Niall understand that life was more than just having a laugh and being silly? His behavior was more than ridiculous, he really needed to grow up, take things more seriously and stop intruding strangers who minded their own business. 

So that's what bothered Liam, the fact that this boy was having too much fun, that he talked nonstop because he expected everyone to be his friend, pretty naive if you asked Liam, but none of his business anyways, right, he'd just avoid him, in a week or so, all of this would be done anyways.

Or so he had thought.

There never were a lot of people at the library, so short, it was the perfect place to be, even if Liam really didn't need to study for anything right now, working ahead was still better than going home and possibly being confronted about something again that he really was fed up with already. 

He just quickly got the books he'd need, silently being grateful for the fact that hardly any tables were taken, that no one was really talking because there were maybe two other people in here, perfect. 

For a while, this helped a lot, concentrating on the text, taking some notes, really got Liam's mind off, he almost fully got lost in it, not noticing what was going on around him or if anybody else came in, it was just silence. 

"Hi, Liam!" And then this happened.

A second after hearing this voice, after Liam had understood that this hadn't been his imagination, someone banged their bag on the desk in front of him before loudly taking the other chair to sit down. Or maybe it hadn't been this loud at all, but Liam had been so lost in thoughts, he needed to blink a few times after looking up, silently having prayed that it was his stalker girl that bothered Harry all the time, but of course, this one time he needed her, she wasn't here. Of course not, he had recognized the voice already.

Niall was leaning his elbows on the table in front of Liam, looking exactly like he had the day before, as if he was the sun himself, the only problem was that Liam preferred rain and clouds, that was the nicest way to explain how his dislike for the boy had just increased a hundred times. He just wouldn't answer, he wouldn't say anything, he'd pretend he was still alone and carry on working like nothing had happened. No person in the world couldn't get the hint then and understand that their company was not wanted.

Apparently, Niall was an exception from that. "I wasn't really sure if it was you when I got my book, but I'm really glad 'cos I hate sitting by myself in the library and nobody else is here. I mean it's really late already, like five or so, so it isn't that surprising, right?"

Please shut the hell up, Liam wanted to yell, he threw a look left and right, checking if Niall had been speaking the truth, but they really were all alone now, no person there to shush Niall down for speaking way too loudly, rummaging through his bag, constantly causing the chair to squeak over the floor. Liam almost broke his pen in anger as he gripped it even tighter, trying to concentrate on his book again without answering. Leaving now would be contra productive, he needed to at least get this chapter done or everything would've been a waste of time and he'd be even madder than he already was. If that was even possible of course.

"You're not very talkative, are you? Harry said that yesterday after you left, that I shouldn't take it personal, and I don't, I talk enough for the both of us I guess." Well he got that right. "What kinda book is that? What courses are you taking? I haven't really decided yet, I've only been here for a month, you know."

No, Liam didn't know and he didn't care either, he was seconds before losing it completely, on the outside though, he was still pretending to be reading this paragraph when in reality, he couldn't even understand one single sentence with Niall babbling on in the background. Was this his karma punishing him? 

"Oh, can I borrow a pen?" After loudly emptying his whole bag thing after thing while Liam tried not to take everything and throw it across the room, Niall had finally gotten a new idea on how to be annoying as fuck. "I must've forgotten mine at home this morning, I overslept and-"

"Here." Please, if he would start talking about his whole day now, Liam would go insane, he quickly took another pen, carelessly sliding it across the table, still not lifting his eyes to look at the boy, if he couldn't ignore him, he would at least not give in and give him the idea of being interesting. 

"Thanks!" How could he sound so genuine saying this, as if Liam had borrowed him a hundred bucks or something, it was a damn pen! He could keep it and do with it whatever he wanted if he just shut his stupid mouth, god damn it. "Are you 20 too like Louis? Or wait, they told me you're 19 like Harry, I almost forgot! I'm only 16 but I-"

"Look, Niall." It was enough now, Liam carefully put his pen down, trying really hard not to start yelling, keep his voice calm as he looked up to be met by bright and big blue ones, god he couldn't even get extremely rude when this boy looked like a child. "I don't wanna be mean" Oh yes, he wanted to be, desperately. "but I really gotta finish this, you know, so…" Shut the fuck up.

"Oh, okay, I get it, sorry, I actually gotta do this too." Then _finally_ , after another too wide smile, Niall opened up the book and his notebook, leaning over, and for a second, it really seemed like he'd shut up, his presence alone made Liam slightly angry, but he'd be happy if the boy at least stopped rambling.

The silence lasted, for about ten minutes, Liam thought maybe he could survive this without wanting to punch something out of anger, like, this was bad enough already, the worst luck in the world actually, it was very hard to believe that Niall had seriously shown up here at exactly this time, but it was too late now anyways. Liam shouldn't have been so nice before, he should've just gotten up and left, but then again, he didn't wanna be a complete asshole, but he also wanted to be left alone which brought him in a bit of a conflict. 

"Can you help me?" No, no, no. 

It took everything Liam had to swallow down that sigh as he looked up, god he was so annoyed it was incredible. Niall seemed pretty clueless as he stared at the book, disgustingly enough biting around on the end of the pen, well he could keep that one now for sure. Just keep calm, don't be too nice. "With what?"

"This." Only when Niall turned the book around, pointing at something, Liam realized that Niall was studying for philosophy, dang it, now he couldn't even pretend that he had no clue, because he did and Niall probably knew that or he wouldn't have asked for help. Great. "You know I actually got it before but now I'm not so sure anymore and I don't know if-"

"Yeah, yeah, wait." Cutting Niall of mid sentence didn't do anything to his constant need to talk, it's like he didn't even notice that Liam was annoyed as hell and that he simply helped him so the boy would shut his mouth finally, it just went past him. And that got onto Liam's nerves even more, he didn't even want to explain this to Niall, but if he didn't then who knows what new method he'd come up with to keep him from doing his work. "Okay, look…"

So Liam tried to explain it in the easiest way possible, a little surprised because suddenly Niall was indeed able to listen and not ask a million questions in between, he seemed to be trying really hard to get it actually. Unsurprisingly, when Liam was done, looking up accidentally, he was met by yet another too bright smile. "Thank you so much, you're really nice."

Shit. "Yeah, I gotta finish this now."

Trying not to mind Niall going on about 'maybe I should ask you some other stuff too' or 'we could sit next to each other' and the worst 'we should make a study group', Liam quickly tried to get through the last two pages before he'd have done enough so he could leave. Helping Niall had been a very poor decision, now the other boy found him nice, which really was the last thing Liam was, he wasn't a good or friendly person, he had just explained this shit to make the kid shut up god damn it.

As soon as Liam started packing his stuff wordlessly, relieved about finally getting out of here while Niall was still babbling on in the background, the blonde boy suddenly stopped talking for a second, then his voice got about ten times less excited. "Are you leaving?"

"Yeah." Liam answered shortly, not bothering to look up or anything, he just wanted to get home now, discussing with Harry and Louis sounded like a better option than this, which said something.

"Oh… can you wait for me? I'll only need 5 minutes." For just one tiny second Liam considered it, because he accidentally looked at Niall's suddenly very much less happy face, apparently hurrying to add something else to maybe convince Liam as he watched him getting up. "Please, I don't wanna walk outside alone, it's getting dark already."

He was scared of the dark, that was just ridiculous, plus Liam hated the tiny bit of hesitation that was caused by the blonde's almost whiny voice now, he really couldn't, also didn't want to, wait for him. It would only encourage him to pull stuff like this more often, but he needed Niall to stay away, as far as possible, so he shook his head slowly, looking away as he began to walk towards the exit of the library. "I gotta catch my bus."

The bus that came every ten minutes, but Liam felt like he needed an excuse, it was probably bad enough already that he didn't say another word, no goodbye or anything, maybe Niall still wanted to answer, but Liam didn't hear anything as he left the boy alone in there. Maybe he finally got it now, hopefully he'd go and tell everyone how much of an asshole Liam was to spread the message a little in case anyone hadn't gotten it, to hell what Louis and Harry would say if they ever found out about this. 

As relieving as it was to finally be alone, Liam tried to suppress the slight pinch of guilt he still felt even as he got on the bus fifteen minutes later. He could hate Niall all he wanted, but that didn't change the fact that he was and looked really young, it would've been responsible to wait for him, like, Liam didn't want him to die or something. Not that that was likely to happen but still, what he had done was wrong no matter how he twisted and turned it, just another reason as to why people should stay away from him, not only didn't he want anything to do with them, but they were better off the other way around as well. At least Niall had probably understood that one thing now, as oblivious as he was to everything else.

When Liam got home, it was quite dark already, his hope for being alone got crushed once he heard the TV as soon as he let the door fall shut behind himself, maybe it was just Zayn, at least he would for sure not bring yesterday's topic up. Now after the library incident, Liam wanted to talk about it even less, somehow he felt ashamed for being such an asshole, but then again, he had always been. 

"Liam, is that you?" Dang it, his plan to walk quietly past the living room had failed dramatically, so he took a quick breath before just entering the room, trying to act all casual, as if he had planned on doing this all along.

"Yeah, hi, what's up?" They were all there, all the three of them though Zayn barely looked up from his phone and Harry looked half asleep with his head in Louis' lap, but there was still one person left to talk to him. 

"Uh, nothing, haven't seen you all day that's all." As if they were a real family or something, Liam suddenly didn't mind too much anymore not being home alone, he hesitated for a second before going over to sit on the same couch as Zayn, deciding to pretend and be a little social for a few minutes. "You okay?"

"Sure, you?" Well, maybe he wasn't okay at all, but the answer had come out without much thinking anyways, Liam watched the TV for a second before letting his eyes drift off again, he wasn't really interested in soaps.

"Fine, I guess. We left you some pizza, it's in the fridge." There was a slight side glance from Louis while he said that, maybe he'd start scolding Liam again about not eating properly, he had done that once but given up on it when Liam had only laughed.

"Thanks, I'll eat it later." Maybe he really should, thinking about it, he hadn't eaten since hours, he usually forgot or didn't feel like buying something.

"Okay… um, look, I… because of yesterday…" And immediately, the calm mood disappeared, but Liam kept his eyes on the wall next to their TV, trying to mentally prepare himself, think of some excuse to end this as soon as possible. After all, Louis didn't sound too keen on saying this either. "You know, we didn't wanna make you feel like we wanted you to leave, I know you don't like Niall, but I feel kinda bad for him, that's why I asked him." 

"It's fine, I completely forgot about it again." A straight out lie, Liam was just relieved that this didn't sound too serious, although as he accidentally met Zayn's eyes, the other boy raised an eyebrow at him, probably knowing exactly how much it still bothered Liam. Even more now after what had happened before, this was slowly starting to take over his pathetic life.

"I'm still sorry. I told Niall he shouldn't take it personal though when you left." Well, he SHOULD take it personal but in general Louis was right, Liam would've acted like this with everyone. "And he said it was fine and that he thought you were nice." 

"Wait what?" It was Zayn who bursted out laughing first while Liam wanted to groan, god, why was Niall like this? They hadn't even talked more than three words yesterday for god's sake! "I thought Liam cut him off mid sentence and got up to leave?"

"You told Zayn?" Which was Liam's smallest problem really, Louis just shrugged anyways, changing the channel on the TV now, maybe to pretend like he hadn't just caused a little tension here. "I don't want this weird kid to find me nice."

"It's just Niall, you'd probably have to set his house on fire to get him to not like you. Or just ignore him." What a good advice, it had almost worked today. Not. "But please don't be mean, okay? I don't know it's just… he looks so young and vulnerable."

"I left so I wouldn't start getting mean, alright? Just please, tell me before you wanna hang out with him again so I can avoid being there as well." Or maybe that wouldn't be necessary anymore, hopefully Niall would tell Louis no next time because he hated Liam now, which he should, it was only better for the both of them. Or maybe he was dead already because of what Liam had done before.

"Um, I…" Worryingly enough, this got Louis to look away from Liam all of a sudden, playing with Harry's hair instead who had seriously managed to fall asleep in the middle of the discussion. "I kinda invited him to come over tomorrow. Because he wanted to study with me, remember? I could need his help too, that's why."

Liam wanted to scream, but instead, he just watched Louis for another second, trying to get his facial expression under control before looking away again, well aware of Zayn's stare as he got up. "I'll go to bed."

"Liam, look, if you'd just give him one chance-"

Yeah right, he had already used that chance up today and he had turned out as even more annoying than Liam could've ever imagined someone could possibly be. "It's fine, Louis, really, just drop it." 

There was no answer, they were probably talking about Liam now behind his back but he didn't mind, he was busier trying to figure out how long he could lock himself up in his room without having to come out tomorrow.

 

—————————

 

The answer was two hours, it all had gone really well, Liam had come home hours before anyone else, so it left him enough time to eat and do whatever he pleased before disappearing into his room when he heard the keys. Maybe that was a little bit childish, but he was doing this for everyone's sake, he couldn't guarantee for anything if Niall started getting on his nerves again and having met that boy only two times, he could already tell that he hadn't learned his lesson yesterday. Hopefully he wouldn't tell Louis about it, because that would only increase Liam's dislike he felt towards him already.

So long story short, after about two hours Liam had to go use the bathroom really badly, maybe he shouldn't have taken the two liters coke bottle into his room, but it was too late now. Thanks to the music in his earbuds, it had felt as if he had still been alone all along, maybe Niall was already gone, or maybe he hadn't even come at all, who knows, it was just his problem with always assuming the worst that forced him to stay in his room for another twenty minutes. 

When he finally brought himself to stand up and walk into the hallway carefully, without music to distract him this time, Liam listened carefully as he almost tiptoed to the bathroom. His attempts to avoid Niall were almost getting ridiculous at this point, he saw that himself but he couldn't seem to get himself to act a little more normal, he just wanted to be left alone, was that too much to ask for?

It wasn't the way from his room that got him into trouble, no actually, Liam felt really relieved after being able to use the bathroom in silence, it was just when he attempted to go back to his room again, he might have been a little too loud, already feeling safe when a voice stopped him. "Hey, Liam! Can you come here for a second?"

Fuck, though this was obviously not Niall's voice, Louis calling him was bad enough already, he almost thought about ignoring him if that wouldn't have meant running danger that they'd come to his room instead. Like that would really be the last straw, having Niall there, Liam would have to think about moving away after this already, the blonde boy knew no boundaries, what if he just showed up here whenever he pleased now? "Yeah, wait."

He needed a second or two to prepare himself, unclench his fists maybe didn't sound like a bad idea either and trying to not think of all the cuss words that were suddenly filling his mind. Whatever Louis wanted from him now, he better have a good fucking reason to call him over to the living room right now. For what purpose had that apology been last night if he just wanted to make fun of him again?

It was like even hard to walk normally, keep a straight face when he heard Niall's giggle before even being fully around the corner, he just wouldn't look at him, not even for half a second on accident, he'd treat him like air. 

His plan failed, even worse than he had thought. The problem was, Niall was sitting next to Louis on the couch, Harry was there too but he was on the floor in front of his boyfriend, so basically looking at one of them, he had too good sight on the other two as well. "Hi, Li-"

"What do you want, Lou? I'm busy." Busy with getting better at his favorite hobby, cut Niall of mid sentence. So the younger boy wasn't mad at him, how could that be? Liam really shouldn't have helped him, he really needed to go through with this now, no greeting, no reaction to any of his questions, nothing, Niall didn't even exist to Liam anymore.

Unfortunately he did to everyone else. "Can you try and fix Niall's laptop, I accidentally did something and I'm not good enough with technology to change it back."

"Have you tried turning it on and off?" Liam asked as sarcastically as possible, glaring at Louis when the older boy looked at him, rolling his eyes, obviously last night was completely erased from his mind. 

"Liam, I'm serious, if you don't wanna help me then just say it, no need to play smartass." Fuck this, Liam should've just left, but he couldn't now, Louis was his friend after all. He was way too aware of Niall's eyes on him as he walked over to sit on the couch next to Louis wordlessly, he DID wanna help, just not if it involved the blonde boy. "Thanks, look here…"

Without another word, Louis dropped the whole laptop in Liam's lap, pointing at something that Liam didn't even see because all he was staring at was the wallpaper Niall had on his laptop. Now he definitely came off even younger, who the hell had a cat as their wallpaper, that was so lame. Unless it was his own cat, not that Liam would ever think of asking this, because god knows what he'd get as an answer, probably a detailed description of the whole cat's life that would probably end with a few million pictures to document it, he hated the boy more just imaging this.

"Earth to Liam, can you do that or are you just gonna sit there and stare, I mean I don't know about you, but we gotta-"

"Yeah, I got it, calm down." Liam had only half listened to the problem, although it didn't even deserve to be called that, so either Louis and Niall were complete idiots or Liam had really spent too many days on his computer without leaving the house. Maybe a little from both. 

"Great, I'll go get something to drink." Louis just got up while Liam was busy working on Niall's laptop, silently cursing his friend for doing this, but at least Harry was still there too, even though he had his headphones in and was watching something, but that was still better than being alone with Niall. On the same couch to top it off.

Speaking of which, as soon as Louis was out of the room, Liam had a really hard time to not turn his head and check what the blonde boy was doing, just to be sure he kept his distance because he was being too quiet. Maybe yesterday at the library and Liam completely ignoring his existence a few seconds ago had been enough for him to get it. 

It was slightly suspicious how long Louis took to get something to drink, but it's not like Liam could've done something, plus the silence was getting a tad awkward, because pretending that Niall didn't exist still didn't change the fact that he was indeed sitting almost next to him, not speaking a word and it made Liam really mad when he found out that now he was forced to be the one to start the conversation. "Uh, Niall… I need your password." 

"Okay." Instead of saying it, Niall scooted closer to Liam, too close, making him freeze as he just leaned over to type himself. He was a slow typer, his password was way too long, plus he obviously misspelled it like 5 times and Liam was about to get up and throw the laptop out of the window after Niall's arm brushing his for the third time. Louis better lock his door tonight or he was gonna get strangled for this. "Done."

Liam didn't answer, he wanted to make a sarcastic comment, sure, but that would maybe mislead to Niall thinking he'd wanna talk to him which he didn't at all, it was bad enough that even though Niall leaned back afterwards, there were still only five centimeters between them. If Liam hadn't been sitting on the edge already he would've moved away further, Niall was like radiating heat or something, plus after leaning so close and moving the air, everything smelled like him and it wasn't that Liam was disgusted or so, he just had never wanted to find out how this boy smelled like, damn it.

"I wish I was good with computers too." Yeah Liam wished a lot of things too, for example for the silence to come back, at least Niall wasn't awkwardly excited anymore, actually, he pulled his legs on the couch and hugged them to his chest, sounding rather tired, not that Liam payed attention, he just wanted to finally get done with Niall's laptop and leave. "Thanks for fixing it."

"Well, I'm doing it for Louis and not you, so." It just slipped out, Liam should have just said nothing at all, it's not that he minded being rude to Niall, but he had thanked him after all, maybe he shouldn't have been so douchy after that, but it was too late now anyways, whatever.

"I know, but you're still fixing it. And you helped me too yesterday at the library." Yeah that would forever haunt Liam now, great job. "You know, if you ever need my help too you can just ask me."

That almost made Liam laugh, but because it was so ridiculous to just imagine that, Niall had sounded serious, as if that scenario was ever actually going to occur. "I highly doubt that's ever going to happen."

"Why?" Niall seriously sounded a little offended now, which was good, maybe that would keep him from asking anymore dumb questions. 

"You're 16, what would I need your help for?" While talking, Liam was trying hard not to delete some stuff from Niall's laptop out of pure purpose, he just needed a few more minutes to get this done, and where the hell was Louis anyways?!

"I'm almost seventeen!" Liam rolled his eyes at that, hoping that Niall had been watching him instead of the screen so he could see how impossibly annoying he was behaving. 

"Great, and I'm almost twenty, I think I can do fine without your help." Why was he even bothering giving any answers?

"When is your birthday?" Just because it came out of nowhere, Liam turned his head, kinda automatically, seeing Niall still hugging his legs, his cheek resting against his knee, looking even smaller than he usually did like this, and he almost got lost in that too big hoodie as well. 

"In 14 days." The second Niall drew his eyes away from the screen and they locked with Liam's, he immediately turned his head back, feeling slightly uneasy now after having answered without a second thought and having eye contact with the other boy. It felt like he had been sitting here doing this for weeks, Louis had gone lost or something and Harry hadn't moved in minutes, Liam didn't even know if he could hear them or not. 

"Really? Mine's in 12." Great, the excitement was back now at hearing how close their birthdays were, the worst thing about this was, no matter how much Liam disliked Niall, he'd never forget this boy's birthday now and he had a hard time to even remember Harry, Louis and Zayn's. "Are you gonna go out and like, get drunk and stuff?"

"No. Are you?" Liam almost found himself funny for asking that, he was just trying to make fun of the younger boy now, did he seriously look like someone who enjoyed drinking and that kinda stuff?

"I couldn't even if I wanted to, I look like I'm twelve." At least he was aware of that, he just said it like that, as if it didn't bother him in any way.

"Well, fourteen at most." Not that Liam had looked at him enough to know that, he was just talking without thinking, too busy finally getting this done than to sound too annoyed , he was annoyed though, very much. Maybe not as much as in the library, but still. "Okay, I'm done. Don't give this to Louis anymore because I won't fix this again." 

"Okay, thank you." Niall put his feet on the ground again when Liam handed the laptop over without looking at him, throwing another look at the wallpaper and mentally shaking his head as he got up, relieved that this was over. He didn't even wanna tell Niall something like 'no problem' or 'you're welcome', because this definitely had been a problem and Niall was not welcome at all.

Instead, Liam just made his way back to his room, trying not think about how dramatically he had failed at all of his plans when he almost bumped into Louis as he passed by the kitchen, which was a little bis suspicious. Actually, a lot. "Li, wait. Did you fix his laptop?"

"Yeah. Where've you been anyways, did you do this on purpose?" Something told Liam that he had, Louis just shrugged now, he didn't even have anything to drink with him as if he hadn't been obvious enough already. "That's not funny alright, you can't force me to-"

"Look, I need you to take him home later, please. You can borrow my car." Was he serious?!

"No way, forget it, I'm not taking this kid anywhere except for out of our front door." Who did Louis think he was, first this and now he wanted Liam to do him a favor after pulling something like this? 

"Liam, please! I'll owe you if you do it, just please." Just because Louis sounded desperate, which was more than rare, Liam stopped looking at him, about 99% sure that this was just another joke so his friend could laugh at him, but then Louis grabbed his arm, pulling him closer before lowering his voice, impossible for anyone else to hear. "Look, Harry's mad at me."

"I'm mad at you as well." Finally someone who agreed with Liam, that's really the only reason he stayed now.

"No, listen. He's like, really pissed off because I spent so much time with Niall today, I mean he was there too, but still. And I already told Niall I'd take him home, so please, I can't do this now, Harry's really jealous." An interesting turn of events, Liam had no idea if that was even the truth or if Louis just wanted to get out of it, he couldn't tell because all Harry had done was lie around on the floor and watch videos or doing whatever. 

"So I'm not the only one anymore who despises his presence? Good to know." Also, it was almost ironic, but Liam still didn't wanna take him home, god knows where he lived. 

"He still likes Niall though. And by the way, you were just having a normal conversation with him as well." Had he just admitted that he had been listening and staying away on purpose?!

"Louis, you can't just invite people over to this flat and then try to pass them off to me! Just ask Harry if he wants to drive Niall home or something, I don't have any time to-"

"No, Liam, please, I don't wanna fight with Harry, I can make it up if you do me this favor. Please? I'm your best friend, I-"

"Well actually-"

"Just please, Liam, I'll do whatever you want, I promise, come on say yes, I need your help." It was rare that Louis was pleading, still, Liam wasn't really sure how much of that was even true, it seemed stupid to get jealous of Niall, Harry was probably just annoyed by him and didn't know how to say it, that would make a lot more sense. 

"There's nothing I want you to do for me though. Plus you just went into the kitchen for like fifteen minutes to spy on me." They were around the corner, a little away from the living room, but they still heard Niall and Harry talking to each other sometimes, which got Liam even more suspicious, but then looking at Louis with that rare expression on his face, he wasn't sure anymore what to believe. He just didn't want to spend more time alone with Niall, that was the main problem here, otherwise he wouldn't have cared.

"I wasn't spying! I'd pay you a hundred bucks if I had them, just do it, please." The sad thing was, Liam wouldn't have known what to do with a hundred bucks if Louis gave them to him, he just kept staring at his friend, who was holding his wrist now by the way to keep him from leaving. There was no way Louis would give up until Liam said yes, he was this kinda person, to bug you for an hour straight and poke your cheek and say your name twelve million times to get you to give in. Liam had no choice.

"If I do this, you will never _ever_ invite Niall over again when I'm here and he also won't eat lunch with us or hang out with us, you got it? Not ever again." He tried to sound firm, be serious about it because Louis had already started nodding after the first four words, this was not gonna end well. "Promise me."

"Yeah, I promise, thanks, Li, you're the best." Without a warning, his smile was back, just like that, and he hugged Liam out of nowhere, a little too tight, but then again every hug was too tight because it was the action itself that Liam wasn't too fond of. "I love you, man, seriously, I-"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it. Just don't forget your damn promise." Because Liam had a feeling that he would, but he had already agreed so he couldn't back out anymore, he felt a little defeated, but what was he gonna do? It's not like Niall could get onto his nerves anymore than he already was, plus if Liam was lucky, he'd never have to see him again. At least at their flat.

Going back into the living room with Louis was just another thing going the complete opposite direction than planned, not that it mattered now, maybe tomorrow Liam would wake up and find out this had all been a dream. His whole life preferably.

Harry was on the couch with Niall now, flinching a little when Louis dropped down next to him with an arm around his boyfriend's shoulder, pulling him in closer while Liam remained leaning against the doorframe, not quite sure what to do now until Louis spoke up, obviously getting the silent treatment from Harry. Maybe the whole story hadn't been made up after all. "Hey, Niall, when'd you say again you'd have to be home?"

"Um, at eight, so… " It was like half past seven, maybe that's why Niall looked a little nervous, Liam was watching him unintentionally, only now fully taking his appearance in. He wasn't only small but also really skinny, like, the last person you'd imagine to meet in one of your lectures, he just didn't fit into the picture at all. But then again, Liam didn't either.

"Right, Liam's gonna drive you, okay?" Immediately, both Harry's and Niall's eyes were on him, while Harry looked something between shocked and half amused, Niall's expression was undefinable, he stared a little, then suddenly, he just looked away, half shrugging, as if he didn't care.

"Okay, thanks. Can we, um… go now because it's like a twenty minutes drive." Twenty minutes sounded extremely long to Liam but he just nodded anyways, already about to go get his shoes and the keys, pretending not to notice Harry's eyes nearly falling out. 

"Yeah, I'll wait downstairs, hurry up." He sure as hell wouldn't stand there watching Niall gathering his shit, that would only mean even more time where it would just be the two of them when they would walk down the staircase, yeah, Liam wanted to avoid that more than anything. 

So he just went to slip his shoes on, very positive about hearing something like 'How much did you pay him? Do we have to be his slaves for the rest of our lives?' before walking out the front door, which he found was a little rude to ask in front of Niall, not that he cared about his well being, but Harry and Louis claimed to like the younger boy yet they still acted like this.

It was weird anyways, the whole situation. It was like, Louis had found it funny to make a new friend just to find out that his boyfriend didn't approve of it so now he had to get rid of him again with Liam's help, as if Niall was some kinda thing you could just give back if you didn't want it anymore. Well, maybe it wasn't that drastic, but it was definitely not normal behavior either.

Niall only took about two minutes to get downstairs to the street, it was kinda dark and chilly outside already, Liam didn't feel cold because he was so worked up still but he did see the blonde boy pulling his sleeves over his hands, gripping tight onto his bag yet he didn't miss out on being polite once again. "Thank you for driving me."

"Well, we're not there yet." Unfortunately.

At first, Liam tried to act cool, but that quickly passed once they were in Louis' car and he remembered that he hadn't been driving in about a month, how embarrassing would it be if he had an accident with Niall being right there? Too embarrassing to imagine. "Uh, just go straight and I'll tell you whenever you have to take a turn, okay?"

Liam didn't answer, once again, but this time it was because he actually had to watch what he was doing instead of simply not wanting to talk to Niall. Not that the last part had changed because it hadn't, just right now he was a little bit more pissed off with Louis for making him do this. Maybe he'd kill both of them on accident, it was dark after all and he wasn't that much of a practiced driver. 

Once again, the silence got uncomfortable after a few minutes only, Niall was going through his bag and readjusting things as far as Liam could tell from the corner of his eyes, he wanted to say something, but then realized that if he gave the boy a chance to talk, he'd never shut up again, and he couldn't even get away from here, they were stuck together for at least 20 minutes.

"Did Louis actually pay you to drive me?" Liam almost crashed into a truck in front of him out of surprise over that question coming out of nowhere, Niall's voice sounded a bit as if he was sad, not that Liam knew, or cared.

"No." No, he just promised me I'd never have to see you again, no big deal. 

Niall didn't say anything then, but Liam didn't care checking for his face, he focused on the street instead, wanting to come back home in a whole piece. "I told Harry that I'm sorry when you and Louis were gone and he said it was okay. You think they're gonna fight now because of me?"

It was more the fact that Niall had even noticed what was going on at all that surprised Liam, but then again, Harry probably hadn't been hiding his jealousy because he never ever did. Then again, Liam didn't care about any of that, Niall should just suck it up and give better directions instead. "Their world doesn't exactly revolve around you, so no."

Obviously, Niall wasn't able to hear or understand sarcasm. "But I feel bad because I didn't mean to make anyone mad."

Well, he was failing at that because he was making Liam mad now instead with being so whiny, god, why was it so important what Louis and Harry thought, they were probably naked on the couch right now. "Look, they have probably already forgotten all about it, alright? Just drop it. Left or right?"

"Right…" Niall mumbled, not commenting the other stuff, he was moving around again, so much that Liam almost let go of the wheel to reach over and violently force him to keep his foot on the ground. As annoying as hyper Niall was, this was probably even worse. "You think they will ever want to hang out with me again?"

"I hope not." God, how rude did Liam have to get so this boy would understand that he didn't care one single bit?! 

"Why?" Was he really dumb or was he doing this on purpose?

"I think we should end this conversation if I'm being honest, I gotta focus on driving, I'm not really used to it." Liam added the last part to maybe convince Niall to stop talking if he had to fear for his life otherwise.

Turned out he had a death wish. "Not really used to driving or doing conversation?"

Yeah, that was a good question actually, Liam almost turned his head to glare at Niall for making such a comment but then he decided to try and stay calm, he wasn't worth getting mad. "Driving."

There was no answer after that, well, not a real answer, Liam was watching the car driving in front of him when he suddenly heard something that sounded a lot like 'I was sure it was the second…', probably not meant for his ears because Niall only mumbled it barely audible, immediately causing him to grip the steering wheel tighter, now he was getting bratty too?

"I could drive over there and kick you out at the gas station, how does that sound?" Not that he actually considered doing it (fine, maybe a little bit), he had been trying to solve this problem with acting rather calm around Niall, but the boy was almost asking for it now!

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant… you're never talking to anybody." This time, Liam did actually turn his head to look at Niall, only because there was a red light though not because he was slowly getting confident in a car again. As soon as their eyes met, Niall seemed to blush as he quickly looked away, out of the window, maybe Liam had been mistaken though, it was dark after all.

He considered not answering, but then decided that that would only sound as if Niall was right with his assumption, which he was, but he didn't need to know. "How'd you know that? You've been here for what, a month? Unless you haven't been stalking me, then you don't know anything about me, alright?"

"I'm not stalking you, Harry and Louis said that-"

To hell with those two, Liam suddenly found the idea of crashing into something very appealing. "Have you ever heard the term 'it's none of your goddamn business'?"

"Do you have anger issues?" YES, Liam seriously started doubting that this was really happening right now, he was driving this kid home in the middle of the night after trying to make him understand a few billion times that he was getting on his nerves yet this was still happening. Plus Niall sounded _serious_ with that question, almost as if he was worried.

"If I do it's thanks to you." Liam snapped, he was really on the edge now, maybe Niall even flinched, but probably not, it was his own fault after all.

"I'm sorry, I didn't wanna-"

"Do me a favor and shut up, alright? Just tell me the freaking way to your house and nothing else, because I don't care, got it?" Yeah this was mean, Liam knew that he could get the younger boy to shut his mouth if he used harsh words like this, he had just been trying to avoid it until now, but it was really enough. Even though he didn't look, Liam was certain that Niall had definitely moved closer to the door, to bring more distance between them. Well, if he needed to get the boy to be afraid of him to get the much needed silence, then this was gonna have to be the way.

For a moment, Liam thought Niall would just keep babbling on, completely ignore him like he had done the last few times as well, but this time, it stayed very quiet in the car for a longer time than usually. Yeah, it was awkward again now, but about a million times better than before, Liam didn't even feel guilty for his outbreak… okay, maybe a little when he saw Niall's face as he stopped in front of his house ten minutes later after a few whispered directions. But it wasn't his fault that this boy didn't know about boundaries or when to stop and not keep on talking.

Suddenly, Niall was pretty keen on getting out of here as well, he almost had the door ripped open in under a second and Liam almost thought he wasn't gonna say anything anymore when Niall already had one foot outside, hesitating for a second before almost stumbling over his own words. "T-Thanks for d-driving me …"

Liam didn't answer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to stay in time working on this story so seems like i can update as i usually do enjoy :D

For a whole week after that, Liam didn't get confronted with anything Niall related again. As soon as he got home from driving the blonde boy to his house, he almost threw the car keys into Louis' face, ignoring both his and Harry's questions before simply locking his bedroom door. Of course those two had made up again, they always did in the end, it was always only Liam who was bad at forgetting things.

At first, he was a little scared that Niall would just pretend that he hadn't taken any notice of Liam's annoyance again, but no, he didn't even look at Liam anymore now whenever they saw each other. Or actually, it was Liam who saw Niall, which bothered him a lot, because hell, he never noticed anybody at uni if it wasn't one of his friends, but now that Niall had been on his mind for so long, he kinda seemed to have gotten really good at running into him accidentally. Not that any of them said anything or looked at each other, Niall didn't even seem to take notice of it, he was annoying other people now.

Well, for a week at least, because after that and Liam almost forgetting about all those incidents, Niall started saying hi to him again, nothing more, just that. And he smiled every time even though Liam never answered him or even turned his head then after a few times. Alright, he could handle this, he didn't care about anybody greeting him, Niall would soon stop again once he realized he'd never get a word out of Liam. Or maybe he wouldn't but it's not like Liam cared, compared to everything else, this didn't even seem to be a real problem anymore.

On the day of his birthday, that Liam almost had forgotten about if it hadn't been for Harry congratulating him while jumping on his bed at 6 in the morning, Liam felt his phone vibrating in his pockets while walking through the hallways between two lectures and after getting that one book from the library Louis had gotten onto his nerves on for almost an hour before.

Not thinking anything, actually, a little annoyed because he had a feeling it was one of his flatmates telling him they needed him to go get yet another thing for them, he simply took it out of his pockets, almost picking up right away without checking. But then he did take a look and immediately, all the voices around became a blur, Liam just stopped walking right there, freezing on the spot with his eyes almost popping out. This couldn't be.

He didn't have the person calling him in his contact list but there was no way Liam would ever get THAT number out of his head no matter how hard he would've tried, he'd always know it by heart. Not that he would ever need it again, he could very well remember deleting it, wanting that part of his life gone, forever preferably, yet here he was, staring, almost choking on all the memories popping up that he had been desperately trying to bury as deep as possible. He had failed at that, like at everything else as well. 

Maybe Liam would've stood there for an hour not doing anything even after his phone stopped vibrating again if there hadn't been someone tapping his shoulder all of a sudden.

Liam hardly took any notice of how he turned around, not even fully aware of where he was or what was going on, he was stuck in his memories, hand clenching around his phone unintentionally, looking into a pair of bright blue eyes. "Hey, Liam, I… um, are you okay?"

Niall. It was fucking Niall Horan, but the worst part, Liam forgot to get angry with the boy's presence, or the fact that he had been touching him and was talking to him as if they were friends, cocking his head now questionably as he studied Liam's face. He definitely looked a lot closer to cute if Liam wasn't daydreaming about punching him in the face. "I just, um… I was… forget it, I should…"

"You're really pale, did anything happen?" It was so ridiculous, Liam would've noticed how dumb the situation was if he hadn't been so shocked by what had just happened, Niall seriously seemed worried about him, he never looked away from Liam's face, acting as if this was the most normal thing to happen. "Maybe you should sit down."

"No, I…" Liam shook his head a few time, trying to get a grip of what was going on, right, he needed to be mean to Niall or this would become routine for the younger boy again. Just, he couldn't bring himself to even raise his voice a little bit, he just sounded tired if anything. "Uh, what did you want from me?"

"Well, I just wanted to say happy birthday." Right, and there went Liam's last tiny piece of mind, as surprised as he had been by that phone call, he was even more surprised to see Niall smiling now. Why had he remembered that? And even more questionable, why had he dared coming up to Liam to congratulate him?! "Right, I got you this, I figured everyone likes chocolate. And it sucks that your birthday is not on a weekend, I thought maybe it'd cheer you up."

Liam wanted to cry, not because he was touched by this action or because he was so happy about the chocolate he just took it without thinking about it, it was rather the fact that Niall's smile was back, the really bright one he had had plastered on his face two weeks ago when they had first met. And Liam's only question was, WHY? If he had planned on being mean to Niall, then he for sure as hell could forget about that again, not even he was that much of an asshole. Not like he could've come up with something smart now anyways. "Thanks… why did you, um.. why did you buy me this?" 

Looking down, Liam noticed that even the wrapping paper said happy birthday, he couldn't think straight anymore, not that he had been able to a few minutes ago either, all of this happening at once was really making it hard to react properly. It was kinda ironic too, first the phone call and then Niall popping up in exact that second, not that that meant anything, because Liam knew too well how many times he and Niall had seen each other during the past two weeks. "Why not?"

At the younger boy's answer, Liam lifted his head again, only now realizing how hard he had been holding onto his phone because it had started to hurt his fingers. "I don't know, we… we're not friends or anything, I was just… wondering."

"But it's still your birthday and I like giving people presents, I mean, I was thinking for a while that you probably wouldn't even take it, but here we are. Well, I guess that's mostly thanks to whatever caused you to stop walking in the middle of the hallways, but I'm just-"

"Thanks." Liam interrupted when the boy started rambling once again, his head was a little clearer now, which didn't mean that he could get mean now after what Niall had done, he'd have to keep himself together for just a few more minutes. Maybe he could try and be nice, for the sake of the day being weird as fuck already. "Happy late birthday to you too."

"Thank you!" And just like that, Niall's face brightened up like the sun, Liam silently cursed himself for just having said this, he took a small step back because Niall looked so excited, it seemed as if he wanted to throw his arms around Liam any second and never let go again. That would definitely cross lines. "You're like the only one that remembered." 

Wait, what? "Um… what do you mean? Aren't you like… friends with everybody or something?"

He had just said it like that, his face didn't even crack a tiny bit, as if this was still the greatest thing that had happened in his whole life. Liam felt a little sick now, no idea where this had come from but it caused him to take yet another step back, barely noticeable though. "Well, I try to talk to everyone, but I don't know. We could be friends if you wanted to." 

No. They couldn't, hell, Liam felt really bad all of a sudden, if he really was the only one who had remembered Niall's birthday then that would mean the only person that had congratulated him had been two days too late plus, he didn't even like Niall. Hopefully he had a lot of relatives who had thrown him a party or something, because this sounded really sad. Almost as sad as Liam's birthday would be. "Look, I… I'm not a good friend, I really don't think that's a good idea. And besides, I, um… I gotta go now, I have-"

"Philosophy. Yeah, me too, we have it together, remember?" Shit.

That's what Liam got for trying to keep himself together and be a little nice, but how should he have been an asshole anyways after Niall had bought chocolate for him and after admitting that he actually didn't have any friends here despite his desperate tries. Or maybe it was _because_ of that. "Right, um… still, I'm really boring and an asshole most of the time, just ask Harry and Louis, you'd be off a lot better if you-"

"I know that you don't like me, it's okay." Well… the relief Liam thought he'd feel after Niall finally getting it never actually came, they were just looking at each other, Liam almost squished the chocolate still in his hand and Niall hadn't managed to wipe that smile off of his face yet, even if it seemed a little shaky now. "But can we still go there together?"

Liam was about to open his mouth and try to find a poor excuse for that one as well, but he just couldn't somehow, because Niall sounded so hopeful and pleading, plus his eyes really were a lot bigger and more puppy like than Liam had noticed before. So he settled for a short nod and half a shrug, already hating himself impossibly more for this. Now he'd never get rid of Niall again, he was one of those people, you could insult and yell at and they still didn't get it. Fuck, Liam didn't even want to be such an asshole, he had just come used to it because usually it worked to keep people at a distance. Just not this time. 

For a bit, it wasn't too annoying walking next to each other, mostly because Liam almost forgot about Niall being there when he shoved his phone back into his pocket finally, wasting a few more very uncomfortable thoughts on that before he got interrupted. "You're friends with Zayn, right?"

"Yeah… why?" Speaking of him, he had called Liam before to wish him a happy birthday, since he had the day off and wouldn't see him. Hopefully this wouldn't end like last year when Harry and Louis had invited him over for Liam's birthday and then tried to convince both of them to come out and have a drink with them. In the end, all of them had stayed in and Liam had fallen asleep on the couch at ten pm.

"He's really nice. Well, all of your friends are nice, but I still feel guilty whenever I talk to Louis, Harry said it's alright and that he overreacted, but they're such a good couple and I felt bad for days after what happened at your flat." Needles to say, Niall was probably the only one who had spent a thought on it, Harry and Louis never seriously fought anyways, just a day later they had kept Liam awake half the night again actually. "It must be really cool to live in a flat by yourself. I mean with your friends and stuff."

Not half as cool as he imagined it, Liam didn't feel like talking at all but he just sighed, deciding to do Niall that favor. "Yeah… it's a little annoying at times but they're my best friends."

"Don't you feel lonely sometimes because they're a couple?" This hit close to home, Liam immediately looked out of the window next to him while walking, trying to ignore how tight his throat had gotten. Of course he didn't feel lonely, what a dumb question, he didn't care at all about whoever was dating who. "Or do you have a boyfriend too? Or a girlfriend?"

The next question was even worse than the first one, Liam blinked a few times before trying to clear his throat quietly, putting up a fake smile as he looked at Niall, who blushed when Liam caught him staring. What was his problem? "No. Do you?"

Getting the topic away from himself was the only thing Liam cared about right now, he couldn't have cared less about Niall's private life. Besides, getting asked back caused the younger boy to flush even worse, he was playing with his fingers now while Liam watched the side of his face mindlessly, trying to figure out why he had never noticed how long his eyelashes were. Wait, why would he notice that anyways. "No… I've never been in a relationship." 

Liam had been, though he didn't say anything, this was probably his second most hated topic, he wasn't really surprised by Niall's answer anyway, not that the boy was ugly or anything, Liam just had a hard time imaging him being with someone. If he hadn't cared so little about him then maybe he would've asked him a few more things, for example why he had graduated so early, or why he didn't live in a dorm or something, but it's not like he was interested in those things. Maybe a little curious, nothing more. 

Niall tried to change the topic then by just starting to talk about completely irrelevant things like how his last weekend had been and how he thought about dropping some class again because of whatever reason, Liam just zoned off while pretending to nod along. Like, he wasn't even angry anymore, a little annoyed maybe, but it was like, he could ignore it for now, as if Niall wasn't even there or something. Which probably was caused by the fact that he still hadn't gotten over the phone call from before and Niall having bought him a birthday present, tomorrow he'd just start ignoring the younger boy again, he had already gotten that Liam didn't like him at least. 

Which didn't stop him from asking if he could sit next to him though, Liam was about to tell him no when Niall added something like 'Please? I'm not gonna talk, I promise.", so Liam decided nodding was less stressful than opening his mouth to make up an excuse.

And Niall really did shut his mouth for the whole lecture, he might have almost fallen over copying Liam's notes, but just because he blushed terribly after that and started biting on his pen like crazy afterwards, Liam pretended he hadn't noticed.

It was like… whatever at this point. 

 

————————

 

It wasn't too late when Liam got home that day, but he knew that the other two would already be there so he wouldn't be alone now. Which usually got him a little annoyed, but today Liam was really grateful for almost falling over Louis' shoes for the ten millionth time. Considering everything that had happened today, he really didn't feel like being all by himself and analyzing all of it over again. He had already done that for the last couple of hours, after Niall had left after their lecture together, with a bright smile and a 'Try the chocolate, it's my favorite'. Liam hated him so much. Not really, it had kinda turned into a neutral feeling now that would soon change back into annoyance probably, there were more serious things on his mind than some blonde kid running after him like a puppy.

"Shit, Liam, why are you home already?!" Yeah, that was definitely how he had hoped to be greeted. 

"Um… because I always come home at this time on fridays?" Liam tried, not exactly knowing where to go now, it had sounded a lot like Harry didn't want him to come inside or something, but he had no idea what was going on, all he knew was that the other two were probably in the kitchen doing whatever. "Why's that a problem? Are you guys having sex on the counter again? You know, I live here too and I already can't use the shower anymore without wanting to throw up."

"God, you're such a pussy, Li, just stay there for a second, alright? We gotta… finish something." Something, yeah right. 

There should've been a rule or something that would forbid these two to have any kind of sexual interactions out of their room. Well, Liam had tried introducing rules like that after having them caught five times in a row right after they had all moved in here last year, it had gotten better then, but only after he had threatened to call Harry's mum and tell her everything. It's not even that she would get mad, but she'd just start bugging them again about how they were gonna get married someday and then call Louis' mum too to let her in on the developments. Yeah, that's not something that could ever happen to Liam, ha, ha, ha… "Can I come in now, I kinda gotta pee, I could just close my eyes while walking by."

"Be a little patient, Liam, god. But fine then, come here, it's your own loss actually if you don't let us finish this." Actually, if they were doing what Liam thought then he didn't want to come inside at all, what if they were like into weird three-some things now? 

"Are you fully dressed?" Finally slipping his shoes off, Liam tried to mentally prepare himself for what might be going on, Louis hadn't even said a word up to now, which either was coincidence or Liam should be even more scared now. He chose the second.

"Liam, you've seen us naked more often than necessary, we wouldn't purposely force situations like this to happen, _again_. So come here now before I change my mind!" Harry almost sounded angry now if Liam wouldn't hurry up, sometimes living with this boy was more than stressful, Liam wondered how Louis put up with him all the time until he remembered that they were completely the same if it came to that very obnoxious behavior.

He still walked over to the kitchen rather slowly, carefully looking inside, half having his hand raised so he'd be able to cover his eyes any second if he needed to. But both his fear and mistrust turned out to be more than unnecessary, wow, actually, Liam felt bad now for thinking they had been trying to trick him. "You made this for me?"

They had seriously gotten him a birthday cake, probably (or hopefully) not self made, Harry had some frosting on his cheek though and he was smiling brightly while Louis came over to Liam, throwing an arm around his shoulders, the lighter still in his hand. "Well, even if we consider my wide range of talents, we didn't wanna risk killing all of us with food poisoning, so we didn't actually MAKE it however we bought some frosting. Also sorry, we only found ten candles." 

"And maybe not try this right end here because Louis dropped a burning candle in there and now there's wax." Seriously though, they could've gone on forever with what was wrong with the cake, it looked a little, well, messy, but that was fine, Liam didn't care at all, he hadn't expected this because usually they didn't give each other presents either. But now, he actually had a lump in his throat, which was rare, he wasn't an emotional person at all, but this… "You're not gonna cry, are you? It's not that ugly, I mean maybe there's 2 centimeters frosting on there and I didn't quite get to finish because of your impatience but I tried, I promise."

"I'm not crying and it's not ugly at all, I just… thanks, guys, really, I-"

"Don't get nostalgic here, just blow out the candles." Louis gave him a soft push on the back before letting go of him to got stand next to Harry, both of them grinning at Liam, obviously happy that their surprise had been a success. 

And it really had been a surprise, because as soon as Liam had blown out the candles and both of his friends cheered and patted his shoulder, saying things like 'now it's only one more year until we can fly to Las Vegas', he realized that he had completely forgotten about everything that had happened that day, he had just been thrilled about this cake and the fact that he somehow had managed to find such thoughtful friends. But when Harry brought out the knife, somehow his worries slowly started coming creeping back into his head.

"Just to warn you, my mum's gonna call you later I think." There was no person in the world that was worse at cutting a cake, but Liam didn't mind when Harry almost splashed the piece on a plate before handing it to him, his dimples showing as he was still smirking like an idiot.

"Yeah, mine too. And maybe a few of my sisters." Nothing unusual on his birthday, it still warmed Liam's heart though even if he didn't wanna admit it. Because of Louis and Harry dating since a few years now (actually, long before he had even met Harry, but they had gone to different schools), their families were really close as well, so it had happened that they treated Liam a lot like he was part of it as well. Given the circumstances, it was the nicest thing they could have done, in the beginning Liam had tried to pretend like he didn't enjoy it whenever Harry had told him it was fine if he came over for dinner, but it had made his last two years in school a lot more bearable. Not that he would've deserved that.

They took their plates into the living room, actually, they took the whole cake, because Harry messed it up really badly until Louis stepped in, making it even worse until it all had become some smushed together white and brown mess. Liam just stood watching wordlessly, trying not to burst out laughing, knowing exactly that they'd eat it anyways. 

"I asked Zayn if he wanted to come too, but he's busy with his girlfriend." Louis' mouth was half full of cake while he talked, it was pretty gross and Liam suddenly was very glad that he had chosen the other couch instead, because even though the other two were sitting so close that there was enough space left, it would still feel a little weird.

"What's her name again? Perrie, right?" A second after saying it Harry chuckled, obviously amused over himself, or maybe it was the name he found so funny, Liam had given up on trying to figure out the way this boy's mind worked. "Well, whatever, we can all go out when it's my birthday soon. Right, Li?"

"Uh, sure." Liam quickly swallowed before answering, pretending to be really busy eating this cake, he would rather kill himself than going out with them. He had done it a few times, but it just wasn't his thing, plus he wasn't really keen on becoming a professional in taking care of his drunk friends. 

"Great! We haven't done that in forever, I'd feel really bad because we never do anything on your birthday if it wasn't because it's exactly what you want." True, Liam had never seen why having birthday was so great, maybe it was because he had never gotten invited to parties when he had been a kid. "Lou, you got something there."

And within a second, Liam had to look away from them when Harry purposely got Louis' cheek dirty with frosting, laughing loudly when his boyfriend started tickling him in return, keeping him tight by his side so there was no way for him to escape. It was hard to pretend that their squeals and laughter wasn't there, all it caused Liam to think about suddenly was the conversation he had had with Niall earlier, the 'Don't you feel lonely sometimes because they are a couple?' and he silently cursed the boy for asking something like this. Yeah, maybe Liam was a bit lonely sometimes, he mostly denied it in front of himself though, because well, there was nothing he could really do about it anyways.

"Stop, Louis, I'm gonna spill the whole cake on the floor!" When Harry started yelling between his half giggles, Liam decided to take his phone out, there was nothing on there but if they decided to undress each other, he could fake getting a call and hurry outside.

"Well, it's your turn anyways to vacuum clean, I don't care." Louis chuckled, finally letting go apparently because the moving stopped, but Liam still didn't dare to look up, just in case.

"Oh, shut up, will you. You're behaving like a child sometimes." Which was funny out of Harry's mouth, because they both were behaving like kids all the freaking time, especially around each other, right now as well, this was just fondly banter that Liam hated becoming witness of because it always ended in kisses.

"Oh really? Well, in that case I assume you wanna go to bed early tonight." That would be a blessing actually.

"Louis! That's not fair, I gave you a blow job in the shower this morning and you didn't-"

"Guys, I'm still here, remember?" As much fun as it was to send fake text messages (not really), Liam decided to speak up before this escalated, they were half sitting on top of each other now when he checked, not looking at all as if they were close to actually fighting, hell, Harry's hand was almost on his boyfriend's crotch as he smirked at Liam.

"Sorry, Payno, we haven't talked about it yet, but I'm not sure if we should introduce threesomes into our relationship already." Of course he'd make bad jokes now, Louis bursted out laughing, obviously encouraging Harry even more like that while Liam couldn't help but sigh, it was always the same.

"Look, the last thing I want on earth is getting involved into your sick games, I've heard enough already." They had paper walls, which everyone was more than aware of but didn't consider, maybe they liked being heard or something, they were gross like that.

"They're not _sick games_ , Liam, it's just sex, you-"

"Yeah, yeah, alright, I got it. Just… keep it down when I'm here. It's my birthday after all, I should be allowed to keep my eyesight for today." And not feeling like he was third wheeling on a date, something he'd never say out loud though, because that would only end in a conversation about how he needed to find someone as well. "I got your stupid book by the way, Louis."

"Oh really?" Before Harry could open his mouth to maybe make a few more dumb jokes, Louis had luckily gotten enough distracted by that as to jump up almost immediately, almost sending his boyfriend flying over the edge of the couch and pouting. "Sorry, babes."

"Yeah, it's in my bag by the door." That's where Liam had dropped all of his stuff before all of that awkwardness had started. 

"Great, thanks! I'll go get it before I forget about it, alright?" Much to Harry's displeasure obviously, Louis apologized another time by pecking him on the lips quickly before half running off while Liam felt very proud of himself for interrupting their cuddling/making out session. 

"Smooth move, Payne, but I'm gonna remember that." Harry was glaring at him playfully, sitting up straight before taking the plate with the 'cake' again, it looked more like cream with crumbs in it now.

"If you're gonna remember that then I will remember all the nights I've woken up thinking there was an earthquake going on." Sadly enough, that wasn't even a lie. It made Harry laugh loudly before he almost choked because of his mouth being more than full, Liam would've gone over to pat his back if it hadn't been for the stupid jokes before. Well, but they had bought him a cake and decorated it, maybe he should go help or-

"Um, Liam, what exactly is this?" Louis interrupted Liam's inner conflict by appearing in the doorway again, the book in one hand and in the other… oh no.

"Nothing, why?" The nervous laughter that escaped Liam was really inconvenient, fuck, why hadn't he thrown that stupid chocolate Niall had given him away, he had just stuffed it into his bag mindlessly before completely forgetting about it.

"What's what?!" Of course, Harry was magically cured from his coughing fit at hearing this, actually, he jumped up to go over to Louis and get a look while Liam tried to sink deeper into the couch. They'd never let him live that down if he told them. 

"Well, I'm assuming he got it for his birthday, who's it from?" There was no person in the world worse at overplaying things and lying than Liam, he could already feel himself blushing as he saw Louis handing the chocolate over to Harry, both of them smirking like idiots. Stupid Niall, couldn't he have given him something that didn't say 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' on the front?!

"Um… from Zayn." Liam lied, hoping that he sounded somewhat convincing before wanting to slap himself for not thinking this through. Right, they all knew Zayn had a day off and that he had called Liam this morning, now he had made himself even more suspicious. "Look, it's none of your business."

"It is! Tell us, come on. Is it from the stalker girl? You know, you probably shouldn't eat it if it's from her, there's maybe some love potion in it." Harry sounded serious about this and Liam groaned while burying his face in his hands, why was this day just getting worse and worse?

"Haz, sorry to break it to you but love potions don't actually exist and you're also not a wizard." How could Louis be laughing in a situation like this?! "Still, I wanna know who it's from too, come on, Li, what's so bad about it? It was a nice gesture from whoever gave it to you."

Yeah and that was exactly the problem, it was TOO nice, so Liam just sighed, not lifting his head to look at his friends, he didn't want them to notice how much his face was glowing now. Maybe he should've though, because then he wouldn't have almost had a heart attack when someone jumped on the couch next to him, tackling him. "Tell us or I'm gonna tickle you for so long that you won't have a choice anymore."

"Get off of me, you weirdo." Liam tried pushing Harry away, getting up when the other boy just moved closer with a very mischievous grin on his face. They wouldn't let this drop and they all knew it, Liam would give in to them in the end, he always did somehow, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't put up a fight. "I'm not telling you."

"Why? We're your best friends, if you got a secret crush or something then we wanna know, come on!" The problem was, Louis was blocking the way to the front door and after Harry got up, Liam would've had to get past him to even leave the living room, which he would never manage to do considering their stupid, amused faces. He'd have to move out.

"Maybe I would tell you if you wouldn't always make dumb jokes about everything, it's your own fault I'm not trusting you with stuff like this anymore." Actually not, Liam never really talked about secrets or whatever, although this wasn't exactly a secret, it was just bloody embarrassing. 

"We're not gonna laugh or make jokes, promised. Just please, Liam, I'm not letting you go until you say it and trust me, I got the whole day and Louis does too." Harry already sounded completely convinced that he'd get what he wanted in the end, simply because he usually always did.

At first, Liam thought about discussing a little more, maybe make them feel bad by using arguments like that it was his birthday and that he had so much to study, but then he realized that they wouldn't care. So he sighed deeply, looking down to get their stupid grins out of his sight, preparing himself for making the most stupid mistake in his life. "It's from Niall."

Silence followed afterwards, it was more than obvious that they were either shocked or trying hard to not burst out laughing. When Louis spoke up again then, Liam was surprised to find out it was the first. " _Niall_?! Niall Horan?!"

"How many Nialls that run after me like fucking idiots do you know exactly?" Liam spat back, not particularly as pissed off with the other two as he was with himself right now. His friends seemed as if their eyes would fall out any second when he lifted his head just in time to catch them exchanging a look. Awesome, now they were doing this thing again where it was like they didn't have to talk out loud to communicate, couples were so weird to be around.

"How'd he even know your birthday and why… why did you take this? I thought you mindlessly hated him?" Not as much as he hated Louis right now for asking those questions.

"He knew because he asked me that day when I fixed his laptop and you shipped me off with him so you could fuck your boyfriend. And yes, I do hate him." Actually, his anger had kinda disappeared during the past two weeks, Niall was still annoying as hell, especially today, but after everything he had said and done, Liam wasn't so sure anymore if he could find an excuse as to why he hated someone who was 3 years younger than him and apparently tried to desperately find some friends.

"Then why did you take it?" Louis completely ignored the other things Liam had said, his face wasn't even amused despite Liam's expectations, neither was Harry's, they just looked seriously stunned.

"I don't know, alright? What was I supposed to do, slap him across the face with it? I was a little thrown off track too at that point, I just took it and then he kept on rambling and I couldn't get rid of him anymore." Well, he could've, but it wouldn't have been very nice, which was what Liam had been trying to be.

"What could throw you off track so much that you take chocolate from Niall Horan?" This time, Harry let out a laugh, not an amused one though, it sounded more as if he couldn't believe he had to ask this.

Liam would have to tell them the whole story now, he had known that before he had answered so he just did his best to look at some picture on the wall, crossing his arms and trying not to sound as if his throat was tight. "Well, I … my phone was going off and I thought it was one of you guys, I almost picked up, but… but it was _him_." 

At least everyone had forgotten asking about Niall now, there was dead silence again, an even more uncomfortable one than before, Liam felt his eyes getting watery, he blinked a few times, stepping from one foot to the other nervously as Harry suddenly bursted out with it. "Your _dad_ called you?!"

"Maybe you could yell that a little louder, the neighbors might want to hear it as well. But, yes, Harry, my dad called me." Saying it out loud, Liam didn't sound as careless as he wanted to, he sounded more like a whiny bitch who couldn't get over it. Funny, that's exactly what his dad had told him as well, what an irony.

"But he-"

"Did you talk to him?" Louis interrupted his boyfriend, all of them were frozen on the spot, Liam felt the other two's eyes on him but he didn't care enough to check, if he thought about it, he didn't care about anything really.

"No?! I just waited until the call stopped and then all of a sudden Horan popped up and I was too deep in thoughts as to be mean to him." Which sounded more than stupid, but whatever, Liam went to sit on the couch again, not being able to believe that all of this was just happening because of a stupid chocolate bar.

"Maybe you should call him back and-"

"Call him back?! Are you fucking nuts, Louis, I don't wanna talk to him, never again! Why don't _you_ call him back?!" The others should've been able to predict Liam's little outbreak, they had never once managed to talk about this topic without Liam starting to yell and cuss, that's why they were avoiding it like the plague usually.

"Can I really call him back, or-"

"No, fuck you, that was a bloody joke, why'd you wanna do that?!" It wasn't the first time Louis had offered doing this instead of Liam, he had no idea what the older boy intended to do but he sure as hell wouldn't wanna find out. "Look, you've never even met him, okay? Just ask Harry if you wanna know something about him so desperately."

They both knew the whole story, Harry had witnessed some stuff at Liam's house that he wasn't proud of, but it couldn't be undone now, usually they pretended that all of this was long forgotten and in the past. But it wasn't, it had just been a little over a year that Liam had still lived at home and it almost gave him shivers now just thinking of it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, Li. Really, please forgive me, I shouldn't have asked, none of us should've, we're just worried about you."

Liam hated it when they got so protective over him, he still wasn't looking at any of them, but he did feel the couch giving in a little next to him as Louis talked in a soft voice. "There's no need to be, let's just drop it." 

"Yeah, alright…" Louis had taken a bit to agree, it seemed like he wanted to keep on talking about it, but he probably sensed that Liam was going to get up and leave if he did, so he just sighed. "Can I just say one more thing? It's about Niall."

"Fine." Every topic was better than the previous one, plus Niall didn't seem like that big of a problem compared to the other thing.

From the corner of his eyes, Liam saw Harry and Louis exchanging yet another look before Harry sat down as well, on the floor in front of Louis though while his boyfriend scooted a little closer to Liam, hopefully not with the goal to hug him. "I think he likes you a lot."

"He doesn't, he just desperately tries to make friends, but it's not working out because he is annoying as fuck and behaving like a twelve year old half of time." Well, he was pretty smart, Liam couldn't deny that, but it was just fact that Niall was younger than most people there. 

"No, Liam, that's not what I meant. I really think he likes you in particular, and trust me, I have no idea why because you seem to give him hell half of the time, but he's always bugging me about you. And he asked me if I could go find out why you don't like him." Now Liam did turn his head to see Louis biting his bottom lip, this sounded pretty unbelievable, but then again, they were talking about the boy that had walked up to Zayn in the library after never having seen him and asking if he could do a drawing of him. 

"I don't like anybody, why didn't you just tell him that? It's true and it sounds less like I have a personal problem with him." Which he hadn't, Liam just had a personal problem with himself really.

"Because I didn't wanna make him sad and right after he asked that he told me I should go tell you he's sorry for annoying you, I just never told you because I figured you wouldn't care. But after this today, I really do feel bad for him, he's trying really hard, Li, can't you be a little nice to him? Just treat him normally without being unnecessarily mean." Was he really saying this right now? Hadn't they agreed that the topic Niall was done?

"I don't see a reason why I would do that, I don't-"

"Gosh, Liam, because he's really looking up to you for some very weird reason I will never get but he does and you're making his life really hard because of nothing. It's not gonna kill you to say hi once a while." All of that was probably made up, but Liam was still shocked to hear Harry jumping into the conversation, yeah he was right, saying hi wouldn't hurt him, but it would encourage Niall to go further than just simply greeting him.

"I'm not a good person to like or be friends with or even worse, look up to. I'm just trying to help him understand that by being an asshole, he'll get it at some point surely and then he'll get over it. Why's it so important to you guys anyways?" Looking at their faces, Liam knew the answer already, but he still waited for one of them to say something, it Louis this time.

"Well first of all, you're not a bad person or friend, secondly, I feel bad for Niall because it seems like he doesn't have anybody, and third… I'm worried about you. We both are. And we just want you to be alright, I know you're not too happy all the time, but I don't want you to push everyone away and never talk to anybody because it's not gonna make things any better, you know. So Niall is… pretty much the exact opposite of you and he's cute too and he seems as if he's a little crushing on you, I thought-"

"You cannot seriously be trying to hook me up with him." Liam's mouth had dropped open halfway through, why had any of them thought this would be a good idea?! Plus, it somehow got him a little mad too, if he looked past the fact that Louis had just suggested he should date Niall or whatever hell, both of them were very well aware of something. "You know why I do all of this, you know why I don't wanna get too close to all those people and why I'm done with relationships, don't you?"

"I know, Liam, but-"

"Then that's it, we don't have to talk about it anymore." Instead of rushing out dramatically like he secretly wanted to, Liam just leaned back with crossed arms again, shaking his head slowly and hoping they would stop with this stupid discussion now, it was going nowhere.

There was a bit silence afterwards, Harry and Louis were probably making fun of him by just looking at each other again while Liam just stared out of the window, hating the fact that he wouldn't get this out of his head anymore tonight, none of this. Why the hell was Niall so clingy and stupid that he had to go and ask Louis about Liam, why didn't he get that if he really knew Liam, he would've rather cut his arm off than running after him. Who knows, maybe it was Louis' fault, maybe he was encouraging Niall to do this or something because he was so set on the idea to get Liam to socialize or whatever. But he doubted it actually, Niall probably really was just a weird and confused kid.

Harry was the one that caused Liam to leave the room then, which he should have done all along even if it was childish as hell, but maybe it was also the tears stinging in his eyes that forced him to go. "Li, just because shitty things happened doesn't mean they're gonna keep happening, it's in the past, it's done, there's no need to keep beating yourself up over it. And you're not him, you're never gonna be, you can't spend your whole life hating yourself and shutting everybody out…. come on, don't leave, Liam, I didn't-"

"Stay away." And they did luckily.

 

—————————

 

Usually, Liam liked rain, he just preferred it when it was night or when he was home at least, not exactly when he was out for a run on a saturday with like 10 degrees. He actually worked at this store on every other saturday, but not today because his boss was on holiday or something, he hadn't really listened to every word on the phone after the 'You don't have to come in today', maybe they had fired him, who knows.

After the most disastrous birthday of his life (actually not even close), Liam had been lying awake half the night thinking, maybe letting a few tears slip, but not a lot, he wasn't one to break out crying over everything. The other two hadn't tried talking to him again, though they had been thoughtful enough to not almost break their bed that night. In the morning, Harry had tried apologizing wordlessly with some pancakes and Louis had been making a few too many bad jokes in an attempt to get Liam to crack a smile. He did, forcefully, having forgiven them already about an hour after he had left them in the living room last night. It wasn't their fault after all, and they truly cared about him, which wasn't something that happened every day, Liam was really thankful for those two and Zayn, he'd have nothing without them. 

But that didn't change the fact that all those things they had talked about kept bugging him, which was the reason for why he had even gone for that run, not really noticing where he was going anyways or how long, it's just when cold and wet raindrops hit his face that he snapped out of his thoughts.

For a while, it was just drizzle, not very comfortable, but bearable, Liam hoped it'd pass because he had a feeling he would need a while to get home after figuring out where he even was. After a few minutes though, it started getting stronger with the second, forcing him to stop if he didn't want his phone and earbuds to get as drenched as he already was.

The only place he could wait for it to pass was at some bus station that had a roof, there was literally no tree or anything around, just a very empty street and a few houses. With no cars though, or people or anything, maybe Liam was lucky today and he had gotten caught in a horror movie to get killed any second, at least that way he'd be able to escape his bugging thoughts.

He knew that Louis and Harry were right, that he couldn't always use his father and his childhood as an excuse for being the most antisocial person around, but that still didn't change the fact that he had mixed feelings about Niall Horan.

If he stopped lying to himself then yeah, that boy was cute, appearance wise at least, but he always had his mouth open and he talked so much shit, Liam had no idea how he even came up with all of that. Or why he would feel the need to share it with him. The thing with the chocolate had been nice, plus he still felt bad because of Niall telling him that Liam had been pretty much the only one who hadn't forgotten his birthday, but that didn't change the fact that he didn't like the younger boy.

And he shouldn't like Liam either, he didn't know him, Liam had even threatened kicking him out of the car in the middle of the night at a gas station, but Niall didn't seem to care, he just kept this ridiculousness up.

Maybe it was exactly that more than questionable behavior that kept him on Liam's mind since more than two weeks now.

Fifteen minutes later, nothing had changed about Liam's situation, he just sat there, freezing his ass off, but not being able to leave because if anything, the rain just increased instead of getting less. 

When he was just about to get his phone out and maybe ask Louis if he could come and pick him up, or search for him actually, because he had no idea where he even was, a car pulled up from around the corner. Liam didn't look up at first because even though this street looked like after a zombie apocalypse, this wasn't the first car driving by.

Well actually, that's exactly what it didn't do. The driver obviously had problems controlling the wheel or the breaks, or maybe even both because there was a really horrible squeaking sound when the car stopped. And right in front of the bus station. If Liam thought about it, then maybe he wanted to get wet rather than actually being in a horror movie and getting kidnapped. He tried his best to get up without looking suspicious, about to get back into the rain and make a run for it, just to be sure, but then it felt like he'd never be able to move again out of shock. Speaking of the devil…

"Do you need a ride?" Maybe Niall tried to sound cool, but he definitely didn't even come close after almost killing this car and now half lying across the passenger seat so he could talk to Liam, having problems with the window as well. Who the hell had given this kid a license?! And a car?!

"Um, I… " Liam still hadn't gotten over the shock, it was like the whole universe was just making fun of him really, this couldn't be coincidence anymore, had Niall implanted a tracker in him? 

"You look really cold. And wet. I wasn't really sure if it was you but I'm glad now that it was because this would've gotten awkward if not. What are you doing here anyway?" He cocked his head, as if this was a completely normal situation, as if Liam didn't have wet hair sticking to his forehead and raindrops dripping down his face while Niall looked like he might fall out of his car any second. 

"I thought it was a nice day for a run." It came out pretty sarcastic but it was true and Niall laughed, too loud for such a bad joke, yet still, Liam caught himself thinking that his laugh at least wasn't annoying at all. Which didn't mean anything because everything else was. Even if he could need in fact a ride…

"Well, it was a nice day before. But I can drive you home if you want to, I don't think it'll stop raining anytime soon." True, Niall was smiling widely, as if he really wanted Liam to get in this car with him. Well, he probably did but it would make Liam feel really bad if he did, it was one thing to be mean to Niall when he was getting onto his nerves but another to shamelessly take advantage of the fact that him showing up here was more than convenient. 

"Well, I… I should probably just walk home, I mean, I'd get the seat all wet, I'm like soaking and-"

"Oh, wait, I got a solution for that!" Not letting Liam finish, Niall completely crawled over onto the passenger side before just opening the door and half falling out onto the sidewalk, making Liam almost flinch forward to help him. Something was very wrong with him today.

"It's really fine, I can call Louis and-"

"No, I'm already here, that'd be a waste of time." Niall didn't seem to care about the rain as he walked around the car while Liam just watched, an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach now, this was not right, he shouldn't do this. Especially not after he knew that Niall liked him, or THOUGHT that he liked him, because let's be honest, no one really wanted to be Liam's friend in the end. Still, after what Louis and Harry had said last night, Liam felt that it had an impact on him, like he wasn't really out to make someone else feel bad. It'd be a whole lot easier to keep Niall away if he wouldn't always pop up out of nowhere everywhere he went.

"Look, you don't have to do this." His words did exactly nothing because Niall already had the trunk open, searching for something while ignoring Liam. That was new, it's like they had switched places. "Niall-"

"Ha, I found it, look." When his head appeared again, all Liam could focus on for a moment was the blinding smile before his eyes wandered down a bit to see what Niall was holding, just a simple blanket. "Just put it over the seat and you won't get it wet, no one will even notice."

"Who should notice?" It probably wasn't his car, Liam shouldn't have just blurted out with the question, it was none of his business, and it's not like her cared or something.

"Um, my … dad." Niall's face changed as he said that, the small hesitation got Liam a little suspicious of his words, but it was too late to say something because the younger boy had already thrown the trunk closed again loudly before coming to Liam under the roof of the bus station. Up close, Liam noticed a lot more detail about him, for example that his hair probably hadn't been flat like it usually was but styled before the rain had hit it, or that he was wearing a too big hoodie once again and that his eyes definitely seemed to get bigger and brighter as the days passed by. "Here. You're coming, right?"

"I…" No, Liam should've just said no like he would've two weeks ago without a problem, but it was so hard now to even think of an excuse when they were face to face and when Niall had to slightly move his head back to look up at Liam because he was so small. Maybe he could tell himself that he was just trying to make Louis and Harry happy. "Alright. Thank you."

And almost immediately, Liam felt ten million times guiltier and Niall was beaming as he handed him the blanket. "No problem! See, I told you you could tell me if you ever need my help."

"Wh-… oh, yeah. Right." He really had said that, even though it seemed like a lifetime ago when it had actually only been two weeks. About an hour before Liam had almost managed to make him run away from him in fear, and now he was about to get into Niall's car, how twisted was that? 

Niall kept his eyes on Liam the whole time he needed to get into the passenger seat, very careful about making sure he wouldn't get the seat wet or anything, trying not to freak out about the situation, he couldn't have talked himself out if it anyways, that boy was too persistent. And Liam really did need his help after all, as hard as it was to admit. "You don't need to be that careful, it's just water anyways."

"Yeah, but still…" Liam gave up then on adjusting the blanket again, putting his seatbelt on instead, hoping that they weren't too far away from his flat because if he was being honest, he had no idea where they were. But that wasn't actually the thing that worried him the most. "Since when do you have your license?"

At this question, Niall immediately looked away, the flush creeping into his cheeks got Liam a little nervous, what if he didn't have a license at all?! "Um, since three days." Alright, that was better, yet still very unsettling. "But I've been practicing a lot, I promise!"

That almost had Liam chuckling despite everything, why was he so panicked, it's not like Liam was a cop or as if he would yell at him for not being good enough at driving. Well, he could never yell at Niall again after this anyways. "You don't have to defend yourself, I was just asking, it's okay. I mean, your dad trusts you with his car as well, you can't be that bad."

"Yeah, just because he didn't wanna do the grocery shopping himself though…" The half hearted answer didn't calm Liam down in the slightest, he tried to watch Niall without being too obvious as he started the car, just so he could do something in case the younger boy suddenly forgot how it worked. "He's… um, he's not actually… my dad."

"What?" That had literally been the very last thing Liam would've considered spending a thought on, he was staring at the side of Niall's face as the blonde just kept his eyes on the street while driving, very slow, blushing even more now.

"Well, I… I'm adopted, you know." Immediately, Liam forgot about the awkwardness of the situation or the fact that he was going to have frost bites when he got home and how uncomfortably his clothes were sticking to his body, he just kept staring had Niall's profile mindlessly, almost letting his jaw drop. Out of anything, he had never considered that maybe Niall didn't have the perfect family situation either. Or maybe he had and he had simply gotten adopted when he had been a baby and everything was fine. "For the third time, actually." Or maybe not.

"Why…third time?" Liam's stomach dropped a bit because he kept watching the younger boy and he didn't sound or look happy talking about this at all, it seemed as if he was just filling Liam in because he had felt guilty about lying about this being his dad's car.

"Um, didn't work out so well with the other… but it's fine now." Didn't seem like it was though, Liam quickly bit into his bottom lip before asking anymore questions, it's not like he … well, okay, he did care a little bit suddenly, but only because if there was one topic he could relate to, it was family issues.

"You could always move to a dorm." Immediately after it was out, Liam wanted to take it back, Niall wasn't dumb, he probably knew that option existed without somebody who didn't even like him telling him.

"Yeah… I don't think I wanna do that, I've only been here for two years and I…I don't like being alone and anyways… they don't want me to and I'm not 18 yet." Right, Liam had forgotten about that for a moment, this boy had just turned 17 a few days earlier, which made all of this even stranger and made him want to ask a few more question, it's not like he had been good at hiding his curiosity before.

"Why'd you graduate so early?" Finally Liam had asked, he had tried to push it into the back of his mind but he had always been thinking about this whenever he had seen Niall at uni and noticed how little he fit in looking as young as he did. 

Somehow the question got the corner of Niall's mouth twitching, as if he was happy that Liam had asked and showed interest. Maybe he really was. "I was home schooled a while and then, um… then I had a really big advantage and I only went to a public school for senior year when I was 15."

"That's crazy. You're like, really smart if you did that, I almost failed every year in high school." The compliment came out without a second thought, besides, it was obvious anyways, Liam almost felt jealous if he thought back about what a hard time he had had to even graduate, but then again, maybe he should've studied.

"You just do things quicker when you're home schooled, I'm not that smart… " Niall was mumbling, not turning his head around even as he stopped at a red light, a little abrupt, but his driving skills were not so bad that Liam would want to get out into the pouring rain. If Niall wouldn't have driven by then god knows how long he would've sat there, probably getting sick as well, he still felt cold now even though the heating was turned on. "Did you try the chocolate I gave you?"

"Oh…" There had been some silence, Liam had finally managed to draw his eyes away from Niall's face as he had realized that he had been counting the freckles on his cheek and neck without noticing, a little taken aback by the question. That chocolate bar had caused him a bit more than just a few problems. "Not yet, I… I will when I get home, I forgot about it."

"But don't let it get bad, 'cos it's really good, I swear." His voice got a lot more exciting while talking about candy, it almost made Liam smile when he remembered who this was and that they weren't even friends, he couldn't find Niall cute or funny, he should be annoyed by him. Or maybe he could save that for another time because right now he was just really thankful. "Hey, Liam… can I ask you something?"

Usually, that was never a good thing to hear, but given the current situation, Liam hardly hesitated before nodding just when he realized that Niall was probably still watching the street instead of him. "Yeah, what?"

"Um…" Liam started to recognize the houses they were driving by now, they weren't too far away from the flat, and Niall hadn't even needed any directions, he had just found here all by himself without much driving practice. The only thing that seemed to bother the younger boy was whatever he wanted to ask Liam, so there was probably nothing good to come out of this. "Do you… do you still not like me?"

God, why did he have to ask this? It's like, the tension was back immediately, for a while, it had almost been as if they could somehow exist next to each other without much problems or Liam feeling like he'd have to yell at Niall any second out of anger, but now, he had to lower his eyes, because hell, he had no single idea how to answer this.

Niall had sounded really scared while asking, his voice had been slightly shaking if Liam wasn't mistaken, those facts didn't exactly help him to figure this out. Or remembering the conversation from last night that he actually didn't even need to know that Niall somehow had gotten it into his head that he needed to be Liam's friend and run after him like a puppy even if there was not even one apparent reason to. Which didn't solve his problem in any way, not that the answer wasn't obvious, he didn't like Niall… did he?

"Look… I'm sorry about what I said in the car when I drove you home and… any other time before when I was being an asshole, it's just… I'm not a good person to hang around with and you were right about what you said, I usually don't really talk to people, I just-"

"But that doesn't answer the question." Yeah, which was exactly the plan, Liam had hoped he could somehow talk himself out if it, but apparently, Niall wasn't dumb enough to buy it. 

"I don't know how to answer it, Niall, I… we don't even know each other." That was a good answer, right? It was true as well, they didn't know each other and they never should, he'd just have to get that into Niall's head as well.

Which would be very hard, apparently that answer wasn't enough for Niall either, when Liam checked his face quickly, he didn't seem sad or discouraged, actually, he seemed pretty consent with what Liam had said. "Well, maybe we could-"

"Why? Why'd you wanna be my friend, Niall? I told you, I'm not even a nice person, you saw it yourself, I'm boring and I hardly ever study because I'm lazy too and I'm not even good to talk to, it'd be better for you to just stay away, you know? And don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be mean this time, I really do mean it just like that, you'd be better off being friends with someone else." That had just sounded really good, maybe it wasn't fully the truth because Liam also kinda finally wanted to get rid of Niall a little bit, but at least he hadn't been lying the slightest bit.

"That just sounded a lot like in one of those movies where-"

"But I'm serious, Niall." Liam tried to be convincing, they were almost at the flat now as far as he could tell, his hair was just damp now but his clothes were still sticking to his body uncomfortably, he couldn't wait to get under a shower, but he couldn't leave either without finally convincing Niall, it felt like a must now, he couldn't let the boy keep running after him and being nice to him.

"Me too. See, you don't hate me anymore." True, although, hate was a strong word, Liam had probably never actually _hated_ him. "You could just give me a chance to be your friend and-"

"Niall, I-"

"And then if I start annoying you again I'll leave you alone. Promise." At the last word, Niall stopped the car abruptly once again, almost crashing into Louis', not that that would've had any impact on it anymore, it already looked like trash.

Liam sighed deeply at the other boy's words, leaning his head against the backseat and turning around so he could look at Niall, those blue eyes piercing through his, making him question his decisions slightly. Something was so wrong with this boy, he had like, a desperate wish to keep himself miserable. "Why?"

Niall didn't answer immediately, he kept looking at Liam before staring at his fingers while twisting them into each other, half shrugging his shoulders. "Because…"

"Because what?" But there never came an answer to that, at this point, Liam was so done with all of this, plus he felt bad too, and really guilty, because of everything that had happened, he did owe Niall now, but did he owe him THAT much? "What if I do say yes?"

"Then, um… I don't know, we could, uh… go eat lunch sometime. Or… study at the library or so…" There was only one reason why Liam suddenly decided to give himself a push, he studied Niall's face for a while even as the younger boy didn't dare looking up, biting around on his bottom lip, really hard too and out of nowhere Liam felt the urge to reach out and make him stop so he wouldn't hurt himself. He didn't, of course not, but he could do something else to save Niall from drawing blood.

"Okay. We can do that." Liam thought the regret would come only a second later but it didn't somehow, all that happened was Niall's head snapping and his eyes widening impossibly much before he started smiling so widely that Liam was sure his cheeks would hurt terribly later. "But I really gotta go now or I'm gonna get sick, thanks again for driving me. I, um… see you on monday?"

"Yeah, sure, okay, no problem, Liam, really, if you need me to pick you up from anywhere else then-"

"It's fine, Niall, take a breath, alright?" How could someone get so excited over Liam agreeing to go eat lunch with them that they almost ran out of breath and stumbled over their own words, there were even red spots in Niall's face that was still brighter than the sun. Maybe that's why it had stopped raining outside. "Watch out when you drive home."

It seemed appropriate to say that considering every aspect, Liam was a little unsure now as he moved to get out of the car, mostly because if Niall kept being this smily and giddy, then he for sure wouldn't watch the street very well. Maybe he shouldn't have agreed, but then again, it somehow felt good, to make someone that extremely happy with something so simple.

Liam waved a last time after closing the car door, then he didn't turn around anymore or waited for Niall to drive away, he just got into the building, determined to tell neither Louis or Harry, actually he just wouldn't think about this at all anymore, he'd just see what happened, Niall had brought this all on by himself, he couldn't get mad or sad if it ended badly.

One week, Liam would try and be nice to Niall for one week. Or actually, he'd just be himself, because that's what Niall had wanted, right, that they got to know each other, he'd soon see what a big mistake that wish had been.

Whatever the outcome may be though, the blonde boy had changed one thing in Liam's life already. He couldn't believe that he had been able to go with the same chocolate brand a whole life just so he'd have to change his favorite now. Yeah, he'd never admit that to Niall, but his taste in presents really was good, at least something.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is shorter than the other ones and not my personal favorite, but I promise after this one the chapters will be longer again!

The remaining part of the weekend, Liam actually managed to not have Louis and Harry asking if anything was up just once, maybe it was because they still felt guilty because they also suggested they should do a movie night and insisted that Liam should pick what they were gonna watch.

Which was a good idea because Liam really needed to get his mind off a bit, both his friday and saturday had been a disaster, and the thing with Niall got him really worried. He wasn't sure if he should've done this, like, there was no guarantee that he wouldn't randomly get pissed off again at the boy and then break their deal, but even worse actually, how'd he tell him that he REALLY didn't want to be his friend once this week was over?

 

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"Hey, Liam, wait up for me." Recognizing the voice, Liam slowed down impossibly much, knowing exactly that Zayn definitely wouldn't run to catch up with him like some certain other blonde kids would. Or had done for five days straight now, because it was friday once again.

"Hey." As soon as Zayn was there, Liam threw a side glance at him, but noticing nothing special in his facial expression, he probably just wanted someone to walk with, even if Liam was about to head home, but his way would lead past Zayn's dorm anyway. "What's up?"

"Well, I actually thought you could tell me that." When he bumped his arm against Liam's side, the smirk was very noticeable in his voice even without looking, Liam had to hold back a sigh. So Zayn didn't just wanna have some company after all.

Before answering, Liam readjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder, not quitting to stare straight forward at some people walking there, determined to keep this conversation as short as possible. Preferably by never starting it at all. "I have no idea what you mean."

Of course it had been bound to happen that all of his friends would notice, Liam had been aware of that as he had gotten up on monday morning, not really thinking anything about it because he had nearly overslept, but it sunk in then once Niall popped up next to him with a bright smile on his face sometime randomly during the day. 

The thing was, Liam didn't hate it, because Niall made it seem normal, he just kept rambling about his day and his life and then he would ask Liam all those irrelevant questions like 'Have you ever had a pet' and 'What's your favorite song' as if he truly cared about his answers. Well, he probably really did which made all of this even stranger.

They did go to lunch like promised, a few times actually, which was also the point where Harry and Louis started to notice, on wednesday, but Liam never really gave them a chance to bug him about it, he didn't want them to feel as if it had been them who had convinced him to do this. Niall had simply managed that all by himself.

So now that the week was almost over, Liam felt ridiculous for having set a limit, like, who the hell did that, friendships either worked or they didn't, it's just at this point, he wasn't sure anymore what they were even doing or how he wanted this to carry on. Fact was, Liam had been wrong, well, not in every single point because Niall could be very annoying if he wanted to, but he could also be incredibly nice and smart and funny, which was what got Liam more than scared. Maybe even more than how he had caught himself enjoying to watch Niall secretly while he wrote something down during lectures, with his tongue half poking out between his teeth and a very concentrated face that quickly turned red as he noticed Liam staring. 

So that was the outcome of all of this. Confusion.

"You sure do know what I'm talking about, mate." Zayn's laugh got Liam back into reality, talking about it with him seemed less exhausting than if it were Louis or Harry, but simply because he wasn't so set on the idea to change Liam's lifestyle. "What's going on with you and Niall? I've seen you guys hanging out before, was that a mistake or…"

"No, it wasn't." Liam sighed deeply, still not turning his head to look at his friend, there was no point, he just didn't care anymore, seriously. "He bugged me about how I should give him a chance and at some point I just gave in."

"A chance? Sounds more like you're in a relationship or something." If Liam hadn't had that thought himself already then maybe he would've laughed or something, but the whole situation had somehow gotten too realistic.

"Yeah, you're right, Zayn, I'm in a relationship with Niall, very funny. Wanna go on a double date, I thought he'd get along great with Perrie? Or maybe a double wedding, because I-"

"Alright, I got it, no need to overdue it with your sarcasm, Liam, it was just a question. So are you like, friends or something now?" A good question, Liam couldn't help but sigh again, they were walking so slowly, it would take them forever to get to Zayn's dorm, which meant even more time for him to bother Liam about what seemed to be everyone's favorite topic.

"I… I don't know, I-"

"Li, wait for me!" Even though he could feel Zayn turning around in shock at that voice, Liam just closed his eyes briefly, walking on, he didn't need to check who that was, he would've known it was Niall just from how loudly he had just yelled this, or the fact that he was for sure running like an idiot to catch up. Plus the use of the nickname that he had somehow started picking up on randomly on tuesday.

"I guess that answers the question, huh?" Luckily Zayn was quiet enough so only Liam could hear, he backed away a bit, glaring at his friend slightly but deciding not to say anything, this was the most inconvenient situation he could've possibly gotten himself into. "Hey, Niall, you okay?"

When the younger boy arrived, he was wearing his usual smile that Liam had gotten used to during the past few days (maybe a little too much), the funny thing was, he didn't walk next to Zayn even if there was the most space, he actually and seriously had to walk in between them. Well, at least he wasn't risking his life walking on the street just so he could be next to Liam only. "Hi! Yeah, I'm great, what about you?"

"Well, I'm fine too I guess." Other than Liam, who was trying his hardest to only brush Niall's arm with every second step he took, Zayn was more than just amused by this situation, talking to Niall as if it was the most normal thing in the world when it was very clear that he was just trying to get onto Liam's nerves. "What's got you running so fast?" 

"Well, Liam forgot his book and he needs it." See how damn fucking nice this boy was, Liam couldn't handle it, but at least he finally brought himself to look down at Niall after forgetting to greet him. It hadn't done anything to the younger boy's smile though, actually, he suddenly grabbed Liam's wrist to stop him. That was another problem that Liam had to face when he spent too much time with Niall, he was very into touching. "Wait, I'll give it to you."

"Thanks… you didn't have to take it with you, I probably won't study over the weekend anyways." Watching while Niall got his back open in the most clumsy way possible made Liam want to reach out and help, but Zayn's presence kinda kept him from doing it, which was stupid but he couldn't help it, not if he felt Zayn grinning at him the whole time as he looked at Niall rummaging through his stuff.

"I can't just leave it, I… oh, oops." As if planned, Niall dropped his whole bag on accident, emptying half of the consent on the sidewalk, his eyes going wide in shock, it made him look like a deer in headlights, a thought that made Liam want to punch himself in the face. What the hell was even wrong with him. "Crap, why does this always happen to me?" 

Because your bag is way too heavy for you, that's what Liam should've said, instead he kept his mouth shut, sighing internally when he got down next to Niall to help him collect his books and whatnot, getting another smile from the blonde that he returned weakly, somehow it was impossible to not get infected even if he hated it. "You're just a little clumsy, that's why. And maybe because you stuffed too much things in there."

"I'm not clumsy, Liam! And I need all this stuff." It sounded as if he was pouting, making Liam laugh mindlessly, that's what happened, as soon as he stopped questioning and over thinking everything, suddenly he felt really comfortable around Niall. 

"Really? You need two bottles of water?" Full ones as well, they really added up to the weight, it only amused Liam more when Niall pretended to glare at him even if he sucked at doing so, he looked like an angry kitten if anything. NOT that Liam compared him with baby animals, he'd never do that. 

"Some people die of dehydration." Niall took the last book off of the ground before carelessly throwing it inside and pulling the zipper before handing over Liam's, attempting to get back up. 

"Yeah, but not in a country where it rains almost every single day." For some reason, Liam wanted to laugh again, it's just that as soon as they were back on their feet, he remembered Zayn being there as well, not saying anything but rather watching the whole scene with a both surprised and amused face, not that Liam was brave enough to really look at him anyways. "But thanks for the book." 

"No problem. Are you going to the bus station?" Actually it was almost funny, the fact that Niall was so good at ignoring that it wasn't just the two of them, but he kept smiling at Liam as if he was the greatest thing in the world, hardly ever looking anywhere else. 

"Um, yeah. Well, we'll go past Zayn's dorm first, but… if that's where you're headed to as well…" Liam made some gesture with his hand, not wanting to actually having to say that Niall could come along, he would do it anyways, let's be honest. 

"It is!" There was literally nothing exciting about this yet Niall still managed to make it sound like that, staying way too close to Liam as they kept on walking, with Zayn having to actually press his lips together to not start laughing. What an idiot, Liam would've shoved him into some of the bushes they were passing by if it weren't for Niall blocking his way. 

Maybe it was Niall constantly readjusting his bag while he started rambling about the lecture he had had before, but when Zayn spoke up then, Liam thought he needed to get his hearing checked or something. "Maybe Liam was right, you really shouldn't have so much stuff in there, it looks really heavy on you, you should get someone to carry it or something."

Who else would he have winked at when he said the last thing other than Liam? Though Zayn was completely right, Niall was extremely small, especially when walking in between them it got even more obvious, and yeah, Liam had felt bad a few times about this before, but… he couldn't start carrying the boy's bag, where would that get him? "No, I'm fine, it's alright, it's not that heavy."

"It looks like it though." There was another very intense glance at Liam before Zayn suddenly stopped walking out of nowhere, staring at something across the street. "Hey… I think there's someone I know, I better go over, you guys have to take another way anyways. I'll see you on monday or so?"

Before Liam could open his mouth or check who the person was Zayn suddenly waved at, the dark haired boy had taken off, just like that, leaving them all alone. Plus, it kinda looked like he just kept walking on by himself once he reached the other side of the street, which was exactly when Liam got it. Zayn was in on this, like Harry and Louis were, he somehow thought that Niall and Liam would make a good combo as well, he had fucking made up an imaginary friend to get Liam to carry Niall's things because he knew he wouldn't do it in his presence! How fucked up was that, why would he-

"What're you looking at, Li?" Niall interrupted his trail of thoughts, he was still next to Liam as he checked, scanning the other side of the street now as well before turning his head to smile at the older boy so abruptly, he had to look down, slightly blushing for being caught staring.

"Uh, nothing. Let's go, okay?" It would still take a while until they got to the bus station, so Liam made sure he didn't walk too slowly, but then again, Niall seemed to have a hard time keeping up if he was being too fast. And yeah, somehow he did care about that, also the bag thing, Niall seemed pretty easily broken and besides… he had promised to be nice, hadn't he? "Hey, Niall, let me carry it, alright? Zayn's right, it… looks like it'll crush you or something."

"But I'm fine, that's stupid, I carry my bag all day every day." Yet still, the smile on his face got brighter at that, Liam could almost feel how excited Niall got whenever he treated him like this, as if all his wishes had just come true. "Besides, it's only a few more meters and then-"

"Just give it to me." Liam was embarrassed enough already, he didn't want to discuss it any longer than necessary, already reaching out for the strap of Niall's bag, careful not to touch him too much. 

Niall rolled his eyes, which was a rare thing for him to do, but he was beaming when he gave in, almost looking as if he'd start jumping up and down any second. "Thank you a lot, Liam. I kinda feel like a girl now, but it's okay."

"You don't look like one though." Not at all, that realization quickly had Liam suck in a breath before keeping his eyes straight forward again, a little worried over the fact that Niall's bag didn't feel heavy for him at all, that boy really was weak.

"Well, thanks." The giggle was a little too high, it caused goosebumps to raise on Liam's arms but he pretended like it hadn't happened, surely, he couldn't get anymore awkward. "I… I wanted to ask you something…"

Or maybe he could, his heartbeat sped up dramatically at Niall's change of voice, the last time he had said something like this had been when he had asked Liam whether it would be alright if he hugged him. Before Liam had had time to calm down from his shock, they had luckily gotten interrupted. Just this time, they were just walking next to each other, with hardly any people around, so Liam tried hard to sound normal and not as if he was dying from being so nervous about what was to come. "Um… sure, what is it?"

"You know… well, I'm home alone the whole weekend and I thought… I thought maybe you wanna come over sometime or so…" Right, this was maybe even worse than a simple hug would've been, especially because Niall sounded so shy asking when usually he was loud and excited, it's always just with things that he knew Liam would most likely say no to, he got careful. "I mean, I just thought… it could be fun and we got a really big TV, we could, um… watch a movie or whatever you wanna do, I'm fine with everything, really."

Towards the end, Liam almost cringed, not because he was so weirded out by the idea, just because he realized how much thought Niall had probably put into what he'd say, who knows how long he'd planned to ask Liam this. And now he'd just get disappointed. "I don't… I don't think that's such a great idea."

"Why not?" Almost instantly, Liam felt his stomach drop, he didn't want to feel any of this, feel sorry and guilty for making Niall sad, but after spending some time with him, he couldn't exactly help it.

"I don't know, it's just…um… " It's just that Liam had never wanted to deepen their 'friendship' or whatever this was so much, he shouldn't have done any of this to begin with, he had just thought he'd be nice to Niall from now on but apparently, that wasn't enough. 

"But I thought we're friends." Niall sounded seriously hurt now, when Liam turned to look at him he immediately regretted it, seeing the younger boy almost desperate wasn't a fun thing to watch, and while knowing that Liam had been the one to cause it, it was just, if he did go home with Niall then that would be like agreeing to this, completely. But fuck, Liam didn't even want any new friends or people to deal with, it wasn't even anything against Niall personally anymore.

"I don't mind talking to you and like, studying, but altogether, I think that you'd be much happier if we just… keep it at that, trust me, it's better for you, I'm not a particularly good friend." Not looking at Niall while talking made it easier yet Liam still felt like an asshole, well, he was one and he knew it. He had destroyed a lot of friendships in his life, there was a great chance he'd do it again and he didn't want to hurt Niall if that boy really like him so much. Which was very questionable as well, what did he see in Liam?

"Why are you always saying that? And why aren't you even looking at me?" All of a sudden, Niall almost sounded as if he was mad, it took Liam a second to realize that the other boy had stopped walking, his eyes looking kinda watery as Liam turned around, feeling as if he had been punched in the stomach. Shit, this was not how he had planned on doing this. 

"I didn't mean to upset you, Niall, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to … explain this, I…" Nothing he said seemed to even get through to Niall, he was just staring at Liam, angry at first and then... it almost looked as if he'd break out into tears any second. It would've been helpful now if Liam would've had some experience in comforting people. "Don't cry, please, I-"

"I gotta go home now, give me my bag." This was a new side of Niall, he almost snapped at Liam, making him freeze for a second and accidentally loosening his grip on Niall's bag enough for the other boy to just rip it out of his hand with a glare. And very teary eyes. 

"What the hell?! I didn't even do anything!" As if Liam hadn't even said anything, Niall just walked past him, fastening his steps immediately, he was almost running actually. "Niall, wait!"

Liam had no idea what had just happened, of course he knew WHY Niall was mad, just… that was no reason to run away now was it? And why was it making him feel like complete shit?!

Instead of going after the other boy or even trying, Liam just froze in place, a little confused as well as he watched Niall's back for a while, no idea what to do now. It would've been the right thing to try and stop him, actually, Liam thought about doing a sprint to catch up but then he just stood there instead, trying to figure out what the bugging feeling inside of him was. 

He didn't even care about Niall, did he, he had just been acting this whole week anyways, right? It's not that he felt a need to go and apologize, sure, he knew why Niall was sad, but that wasn't his problem at all, even though the other boy seemed to think so, they weren't actually _friends_ , were they? Liam couldn't allow that.

 

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"What's gotten into your way, Liam? Since when aren't you locking yourself into your room anymore?" Obviously Harry and Louis were in a great mood when they came home in the evening, of course walking in on Liam as he was sitting on the living room couch, not feeling too motivated to get up.

"Very funny, how long did it take you to come up with that joke?" Not feeling like laughing or just smirking, Liam just leaned back, not watching as the other two walked in, way too touchy feely with each other, it was exactly NOT what Liam needed right now.

In fact, he couldn't believe he had just spent two hours worrying about what had happened before, actually, he had been worrying about Niall in general and god knows why, but he couldn't help thinking that if he had had his phone number, he would've called him for sure to apologize. "Seriously though, what's up? You look like someone died."

He could feel the couch moving next to him as Harry dropped down, making Liam sigh internally, why did those two always have to come and question all of his actions and decisions in the worst moments possible? "It's nothing, I'm just tired."

"Sure, Liam. How many times have you told me that lie before?" About a billion, Liam felt the corner of his mouth twitch as he turned to look at his friend, not very happy about Louis sitting down as well, way too close to his boyfriend. "So what happened? Did you and Niall break up?"

"Oh, wow, Haz, if you're gonna start it like that then-"

"Hey, I was kidding, alright? Stay." The teasing had become a common thing, maybe that's why Liam let himself be stopped from getting up by Harry's hand around his wrist, it wasn't even that he was so annoyed by the question, more about the way this conversation was going. "I was just wondering because Zayn told me about what happened when you and him were walking home."

Instead of answering, Liam just stared at Harry for a bit, letting that sink in before speaking what was on his mind just this one time. "I'm gonna have to kill him." 

"Don't be mad at him, it was us who brought the conversation on Niall." Well, Liam would have to kill those two as well. 

"Well, good, that was the last time then, he's finally gotten that I'm an asshole." That was actually the last thing Liam had thought about before, he had always been trying to make Niall mad except for this one time. And of course, that's when it had happened.

"I highly doubt that, what did you do? Punch him in the face? There's nothing else you could do to make this kid hate anybody." Louis almost seemed amused though he quickly wiped that grin off of his face as Liam glared at him, not caring anymore about what they thought about his mood swings.

"Well, he asked me to hang out with him… at his house." Liam made a pause there, expecting some surprised faces but none came, well fine then. "And I said no and that I'm no good company to hang out with and he- Harry! Did you just fucking smack me?!"

That's exactly what had happened, Harry had seriously smacked him on his arm before Liam could finish, well, at least no one looked amused anymore, now they just seemed to be annoyed by him. Harry even huffed, leaning back while shaking his head at Liam. "You're so stupid, Liam. Why do you always do that?!"

"You know why, bec-"

"Yes, I do! Because you're an idiot, you know how much Niall likes you, and hell, if you just got over yourself you could admit that you actually do like him as well or you wouldn't have bought him lunch the other day." It was quite funny that _Harry_ was the one who had jumped up angrily while half cursing Liam, as if he didn't know WHY Liam was doing this, as if he hadn't told him anything at all.

"Just because he forgot his money!" Well, Liam had told Niall to keep it then when he had tried to pay him back the next day, but that still didn't mean anything.

"Whatever! I thought you'd finally gotten that you can't keep every single person away from you, remember when you tried to do that to me when we met? And how much of a bad decision has that been exactly? Right, it hasn't." If Harry hadn't been so serious about this then Liam would've pointed out that this had sounded quite cocky, though he was completely right, if Harry hadn't befriended Liam then god knows where he would have ended up. Or how.

There was silence, well, except for Harry's too fast breathing as he obviously tried to calm down, a little over dramatically as he dropped down on the couch again. Liam looked down then, playing with his fingers as he feverishly tried to find an answer, or some good argument, but since he had had some time to figure this out before, hours actually, there really was nothing he could say. Except for the truth. 

"I don't wanna hurt Niall, he doesn't deserve it. I don't even know why you guys would wanna be around me half of the time either." Liam gulped, it had been hard saying this out loud but it was true anyways, he for sure wouldn't look up anymore to check the other two's faces though, they'd probably get mad at him again. 

Actually, none of what Liam thought could have happened actually did, there was just a bit more silence while he silently counted all the spots they had on their carpet when Louis just got up out of nowhere, walking to the front door before coming back. "Liam."

Looking up automatically at his name being said, Liam was just confused at first when Louis held his car keys towards him, looking very strict while doing so. A rare thing actually, him and Harry hardly ever were really serious with anything. "What?"

"You'll take my car now and drive over to Niall's house and I don't care whatever you're gonna do there or how long it'll take, you're not coming back here until you've sorted this out and finally gotten it into your head that me, Haz and Zayn really do like you. And Niall fucking does too, so get off your ass and go." It took a few moments to sink in, that Louis had actually just said this, with such a serious voice that Liam didn't even feel himself taking the keys slowly, almost as if in trance. He couldn't do this, could he? Randomly showing up at people's houses? At NIALL'S house above all?

"What… what if I don't?" Just checking.

"Well, if you don't I will change the lock on our front door and throw your stuff out of the window." When Harry said that, it made Liam stand up immediately, he had a lot of doubts regarding Louis' words, yet still, there was something inside of him that desperately wanted to do this and believe his friends, just ignore how uncomfortable new situations like this made him feel.

But he didn't have a choice but go, right, they wouldn't actually throw him out but if Liam pretended that they would, it was a lot easier defending his actions in front of himself.

 

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Finding Niall's house turned out to be more of a problem than Liam had thought, mostly because when he had driven him home three weeks ago, it had been pretty dark and Liam had only relied on Niall giving him directions, not actually paying attention.

But now that he was parked in front of the house, worries started to grow inside of him again, he hadn't spent too much time thinking about what he was even about to do while driving here so it all came crashing down now.

Like, Liam hadn't even come to a conclusion about what he even wanted, or what he'd say to Niall as an excuse and anyways, this was getting too complicated to figure out. 

All Liam knew when he finally gave himself a push to get out after wasting twenty minutes was that he didn't mind spending time with Niall, that maybe he enjoyed it a little bit… or just enjoyed it actually if he finally stopped lying to himself. Niall was cute, no doubts, and funny and nice and if Liam hadn't been the weirdest and most antisocial person alive then maybe they would've been able to become friends under normal circumstances. Without Liam's friends having to threaten to throw him out otherwise and his guilt almost eating him alive.

The fact that he knew for sure that Niall was home alone was the only reason why Liam dared ringing the doorbell, he really couldn't have dealt with any parents or siblings or whoever now, he felt like he'd have to throw up as he waited, trying to keep himself together, it was just Niall for god's sake. 

It took a while, Liam was almost happy about being able to drive back home and tell the others Niall had gone out when there was a muffled voice coming through the door, it sounded rather nervous as far as Liam could tell, matching his own feelings towards all of this. "Who is it?"

Of course, it was Niall, Liam didn't need time to figure that out, he knew how the other boy sounded way too well, the reason why he stopped though was because he couldn't help finding it cute that Niall asked before opening the door, as if he was a child. Not that that made the situation any easier, actually, Liam had to gulp as he closed his eyes before answering. "Um, it's me, Liam, can we… talk?"

He didn't open up his eyes anymore, looking at Niall would make this a lot harder than it already was, plus Liam would maybe start lying again but he really just wanted to say what he had planned out before in the car, nothing else, just get it over with.

There was some cursing when Niall obviously had problems opening the door that almost made Liam chuckle, but he swallowed it down, trying to sound calm and feeling slightly uneasy for not seeing anything, so instead, he stared at the ground now as the door swung open, just anywhere besides into Niall's face. Just get it straight, Liam, just fucking say it.

"Did you just drive here to-"

"Look, Niall, I wanted to say I'm really sorry for before and I'm sorry for all the times I behaved like a douche it's just that I am and I still think that we shouldn't be friends but if you still want to then we can. And… we can also still hang out, I mean, if not that's fine, I'll just drive back home I just wanted to tell you, because I felt really bad about what happened. I'd understand if you are mad though, I know I'm an idiot and I really have no idea how to talk to people or whatever and I…" It was then that Liam trailed off, he had been staring at the ground but he was very well aware of Niall just stepping forward and doing the least expected thing. Wrapping his arms around Liam's middle.

He smelled like fresh cotton and a bit like some shampoo, mostly because the top of his head was right next to Liam's face though, he felt Niall's hair brushing his cheek as the blonde continued to hug him with his head on Liam's shoulder, squeezing a bit until Liam finally lifted his arms, loosely hugging back. That wasn't like the hugs he was used to, usually it were like quick side ones or something, besides, he couldn't even remember the last time it had been someone besides Louis, Harry or Zayn. "I'm not mad at you and it's okay, I'm really glad that you came."

Niall seemed to truly mean it too, because he just tightened his arms, maybe as a hint for Liam to do the same but he barely complied, a little too shocked as to react properly. The fact that Niall had forgiven him so easily was weird to Liam, not as weird as the fact that he wanted to hug him though, even if it didn't feel bad. Not at all actually, Niall was really warm and the weight on Liam's shoulder felt unfamiliar but it was alright, he'd survive. 

"You wanna come in?" When Niall pulled away, Liam looked at him for the first time since coming here, there was the usual happy face, maybe a little brighter today, but what really made Liam return the smile was the fact that Niall looked so young and cuddly in a shirt, sweatpants and with flat hair. Maybe Liam found it a little bit adorable.

"Yeah… sure." As Niall stepped back to let him enter, a little bit too thrilled as it seemed, Liam was somehow relieved to not regret agreeing, that he actually felt quite good about this, he wanted to be here with Niall.

"Okay, do you want something to eat? I just had pizza but I could order you another one and sorry if it's messy here or so, I thought no one would notice if I only start cleaning up on sunday before everyone comes back." Then he giggled, making Liam blush slightly as he took his shoes off before looking around, it didn't look messy at all actually, the house was pretty big in size from the outside, but once inside it became even more noticeable that this family clearly did have some money. 

"It looks really clean already though… and I'm not hungry, thank you." Following Niall into the house, Liam hardly got enough from staring, if he thought about how his flat would've fit into this house ten times or something. But then again, Niall would've probably given up all of this if he could've been with his real family, whatever had happened with them. Now Liam felt bad.

"Oh good, because I really hate ordering pizza, I mean, I'm giving them my _address_ and I have to talk on the phone." Niall sounded seriously troubled, he even turned around to look at Liam, walking backwards for a bit so he could watch him.

"What's so bad about talking on the phone?" Well, Liam wouldn't know, it's not like people called him on a daily basis.

"It's horrible, Liam! I always forget what I wanted to say and then I just hang up." He just shrugged, the same second as his smile suddenly came back, his stupid dimples showing that Liam had been looking at way too often, it was only now that he could admit to himself that he really enjoyed seeing Niall smiling like this.

"Really? _You_ can run out of words? Usually you talk until people's ears fall off." It wasn't meant to sound mean, Liam was even slightly laughing as Niall pretended to be pouting a bit, stopping suddenly so that he could slap Liam's arm playfully. Not even that bothered him anymore, the random touches, it seemed like a big weight had been lifted off of Liam's chest now that he finally didn't have to lie to himself anymore about mindlessly hating Niall, because he really didn't hate this giggly boy at all. 

"And yet you still decided to come here." The way he smirked while saying it got Liam's face hot, but he nodded anyways, well aware that Niall had dropped back now so they were next to each other. 

"Just because sometimes you happen to say funny things as well." A joke seemed safer than getting embarrassing, Liam chuckled as Niall turned his head to look at him in fake shock, shoving him gently with a smile playing around his lips that he tried to hold back obviously yet Liam could very well see it.

" _Sometimes_?!" Situations like these, it seemed to Liam that he really did have a talent for misjudging people.

Turned out that what Niall had been heading for was the living room, plus he hadn't promised too much before, there really was a big TV, also about three empty cans of coke and a plate as proof what Niall had been doing before, even though what really was the thing making Liam laugh in the end was the movie the blonde had chosen to watch that was still on. "Finding Nemo, huh?"

"I like that movie a lot, Liam, don't make fun of me." Still there was some pink darkening his pale cheeks as he went to grab the remote, probably to turn it off or something.

"I'm not making fun of you, leave it, come on." Niall hesitated for a second before he looked at Liam with a questioning and unsure expression on his face, he was still flushed, as if that was a reason to get embarrassed, hell, Liam had just driven here in the middle of the night and he hadn't even been able to look the younger boy in the eyes while apologizing.

"We don't have to watch it, we can do something else as well, just tell me, okay?" But for some reason, Liam felt like they should really rather stay here until the movie was over, because even while talking Niall was watching it, almost missing the couch then as he sat down because of how captivated he was by it.

The thought of Niall watching this movie all by himself on a friday night while he was alone (and hating it like he had admitted some time ago), kept Liam from laughing or doing anything besides watching Niall for a few seconds before sitting down next to him, only then realizing the stupid, fond smile that had settled on his lips, quickly wiping it off. Just because Niall was kinda cute, there was no need to overdue it. "No, we're fine, I'd love to watch it, I haven't in a while." 

"Well, then I'm glad I'm the one you're watching it with." Niall seemed to be serious about it, he turned his head briefly to smirk at Liam, suddenly pulling his legs on the couch, leaning his head back as he kept looking at Liam, biting his bottom lip for a second, hesitating. "Why'd you change your mind? About wanting to hang out, I mean? And about um… wanting to be friends?"

Of course, Liam couldn't tell Niall about Louis and Harry, and anyways, if he really would have been completely against coming to see Niall, they wouldn't have been able to convince him, they had just kinda given him the push he had needed. "You know, I… kinda freaked out before, because I'm not used to… hang out with people and stuff, it's just… well, nothing I usually do with someone I hardly know, it's a little… scary, but I thought about it and... I'm sorry."

"It's alright, I know, you told me that before. But it's just me, right? I mean you can tell me if you need me to be quiet or so, I know I talk a lot sometimes." Liam's heart made a bit of a jump there suddenly, because of how thoughtful the other boy was even though he hadn't even completely spoken the truth. Sure, he didn't usually hang out with random people or go and make friends, but that wasn't about being scared, it had a bit of more serious reasons that he wouldn't have been able to explain even if Niall wouldn't have just kept talking on. "Actually I was just asking, 'cos I wondered… I wondered if it would be fine if I kept on sitting next to you during our lectures."

"That's what you wondered?" Liam almost let out a laugh of surprise, out of anything, Niall had been worried about THAT? 

"Uh, yeah I-I just-"

"Sure you can, Niall, you don't have to ask that. You can also come along to lunch when I'm meeting up with the others." It seemed quite ridiculous that Liam had ever acted so childish because of simple things like that, even if he knew where this came from, he still felt really good about just saying this now as if it was nothing. 

And a lot better when he saw Niall's grin, he sounded really enthusiastic too, as if this was the greatest thing in the whole world. "Really? Thanks!" 

"No problem, Ni…" The nickname just slipped through, Liam had just made it up himself actually, he was just mumbling it though, not sure if Niall had even heard because he was already focused on the TV again.

There were two things that Liam figured out during the next hour, one, Niall was the best company to watch a movie with, he had so much fun the entire time that even if Liam would've hated the whole movie, he would've loved it as well simply because of Niall's loud laughter and comments. 

The second thing he discovered was that as though the younger boy's energy seemed endless, he did run out of it very quickly, sometime having gotten a lot closer to Liam, Niall fell asleep then within the last fifteen minutes of the movie. "Hey, Niall…"

Liam just spoke gently, he had first of all not even realized that Niall had passed out with his head almost on his shoulder, arms curled around himself, but the lack of giggles had made Liam check then just to get his eyes stuck on Niall's relaxed face. There was no reaction whatsoever as Liam whispered his name again, just Niall breathing evenly, leaving him a bit clueless for a few seconds. 

He hadn't exactly prepared for something like this to happen, watching Niall sleeping kinda made Liam feel like a fucking creep but he couldn't seem to look away for too long either. The younger boy looked so cute all passed out, and cuddly too, because of his messed up hair and the loose sweatpants, his face snuggled into the back of the couch. Hell, if Liam couldn't stop himself from getting thoughts like this he'd go insane. But it was so TRUE. 

When the credits were rolling on the screen, Liam quickly took the remote to turn the TV off as Niall started stirring a bit, he kinda did want him to wake up but on the other hand, he'd feel too bad about disturbing the boy's sleep. It's like he was a toddler and needed his sleep or something, it was only about 8 pm anyways so that added up to melting Liam's heart despite his (very weak) internal protest. How exactly had he ended up here feeling the need to protect and coo over the boy he had cursed just three weeks ago? 

Still, after about another 10 minutes of finally giving in to his inner self and simply watching Niall, Liam realized that at some point, the younger boy would have to wake up anyways, he couldn't just drive back home and leave Niall here, with an unlocked front door to top it off. So even though it was very hard and felt more than wrong, Liam just hesitated for a second before touching Niall's arm with his hand lightly. "Niall, hey, don't you wanna go sleep in your bed?"

Before Liam could question himself for unintentionally making his voice sound so strangely soft and calm, Niall moved all of a sudden, towards him. And then the worst thing of it at all happened, there was some noise that sounded a lot like a 'No', and within half a second, Niall had hugged Liam's arm, pressing into his side as he snuggled his head into the older boy's shoulder, letting out a content sigh. Well, shit. 

This was so new to Liam, no one had ever done anything like this to him before, like cuddle into him while they were sleeping, or holding on so tightly like Niall was right now, his breath even felt hot through Liam's shirt. Or maybe that was his cheek warming his skin, probably a mixture of both, not that it mattered, Liam was frozen in place either way.

There was no doubt that he still didn't regret coming here or apologizing, he mostly was worried about how his thoughts on Niall had changed now that he didn't try to lie to himself anymore about disliking him. Still, despite the fact that the other boy seemed to clearly enjoy Liam's presence for whatever reason, they still shouldn't have been friends, but it seemed to be a little bit too late for that now.

"Are you just gonna stay asleep like this?" Liam was just mumbling more to himself than to Niall, he had trouble now about where to put his hands or what to do, not that he could've made any good use of his arm anyways. 

After a bit of stirring and Niall moving more of his weight onto Liam if anything, there was some sound before the younger boy murmured some stuff into Liam's shoulder that made him wonder if he was a sleep talker. "Hmm… yes… do you mind? You're really…" Then there was a yawn that got Liam's heart flattering without him being able to suppress it. "…really comfortable."

"I… I don't mind… it's alright." What else could Liam have said? He didn't mind it after all, he was just a little confused about what to feel or do. 

"Thanks…" Niall breathed, holding onto Liam's arm a bit tighter if that was even possible, rubbing his face into his shirt as if he did it every day. "Stay."

"What?" A little taken back by what Niall had added, Liam moved his head without thinking, getting goose bumps from the blonde's soft hair tickling his cheek, making him wonder what it'd feel like to rest his head against Niall's.

"Stay. Here. Over night." Oh.

"Well, I…" Liam almost started with his usual 'I don't think that's a good idea even though I can't explain it' when he stopped himself mid sentence instead, seriously questioning his life choices for a moment. 

"Please?" Apparently not so much asleep anymore, Niall suddenly pulled back, his eyes were half closed though, and Liam's arm twitched in the younger boy's grip when he saw that his hair was nearly falling into his eyes now. Not as if he had wanted to brush it back, that'd be ridiculous. "I don't like being alone for so long. And you don't even have to sleep on the couch, I got a double bed." 

There was nothing else to do but to agree mindlessly, causing Niall's sleepy face to brighten up while Liam tried his hardest not to think about the fact that Niall had seriously just suggested they share a bed while simply ignoring that Liam didn't even have any clothes with him to sleep in, hell, he'd have to call in sick at work tomorrow if he did stay.

And even worse, Liam had said _yes_ , despite all of that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you will all like this chapter and thank you to everyone who keeps reading and leaving me comments :)

One month.

That's almost exactly how long it took Liam to get used to getting daily hugs that lasted ten times longer than he had ever thought would be normal (maybe it really wasn't), having random texts on his phone that were still freaking him out a lot of the time and also spending more time with someone else than with the people who he actually freaking lived with. 

Harry and Louis claimed that all of this had only happened thanks to them, they also didn't fail to rub it into Liam's face at any occasion possible, but at least Zayn didn't bug Liam about it 24/7, he didn't seem to be surprised about it, which maybe was even worse after all.

Liam had tried to fight it for a while, pretend that he didn't actually like Niall and wanted to spend time with him, but it only seemed to work when the younger boy wasn't around. Because as soon as he was there Liam couldn't help feeling a lot happier and better, like this boy literally was the sun brightening everyone's day, that was out of question, plus it seemed to be the only day he wanted to be in was Liam's anyway. Which wasn't really a challenge for Niall, he was extremely good at being clingy, as Liam noticed after only two days, and also, he had no competitor.

Maybe that's why Liam had been so pessimistic about everything before he suddenly didn't even have time anymore to worry that much about his life, because he hadn't had a dorky Niall by his side who couldn't keep his excitement down for more than ten seconds and infected everyone around. And it just seemed to be that he had the most impact on Liam.

"Hi." Liam almost jumped into to the wall even though he should've probably expected this to happen, but sometimes he was still a little surprised by how committed Niall was to giving out hugs every single time they saw each other. Which was, five times a day.

"You just scared the shit out of me." Still, Liam wrapped one arm around the younger boy in return as he got hugged from the side, only slowly adjusting to this, it's not that Liam was afraid of touches or whatever, he just wasn't used to showing anybody this amount of affection that Niall seemed to aim for. 

"I'm sorry, Li, that might have been my goal." Then he laughed again as he pulled away after another squeeze, looking right up at Liam with that smile that could've gotten him to agree to anything at this point.

"Very nice of you, thanks, Niall. Are you alright?" Somehow he couldn't help but ask that all the time, it's just, though everything between them had changed, Niall still was the same, which meant, he still was really young and small and he looked so easily broken that sometimes, Liam started to almost feel protective about him. Like this one time when somehow Harry had gotten this really 'good' idea to invite Niall to stay over night (in Liam's room on his couch) and drag them out to go see a movie with him and Louis ("I promise, Liam, it's not a double date if you don't think of it as one"), Liam couldn't help but pull Niall close into his side when they were walking back to the car later in complete darkness. Not something he would have just done because he had felt like it, but Niall made him feel things he hadn't even known he could feel.

"Why are you always asking this? I'm fine, actually, I'm great, I got an A." Niall just stopped walking in the middle of the hallway, forcing Liam to do the same as he worriedly watched Niall almost dropping his bag to pull something out, as if he needed to proof it. "See?"

"That's great, Ni, good job." The excitement made Liam smile, mostly because he knew how long Niall had needed to do this assignment since he had gotten hourly updates on it last night via text messages. "And you thought you were gonna fail, that's really bad self assessment." 

"You're one to talk, Mr. 'oh, they're gonna kick me out because I'm so bad' and then you have to explain everything to _me_ and not the other way around." The poor attempt at faking Liam's voice made him laugh as Niall zipped his bag back up, not really mad even though he pretended to be, but his smile came back about one second later. "Which reminds me that, um, can we study together for next week? I'm always a lot better when you study with me."

Hearing this made Liam listen up, he was embarrassingly happy over that question, because well… he would've asked Niall himself if he hadn't always been so damn bad with things like that. "Sure, actually…" 

Then he paused, overthinking what he had planned on saying while he felt Niall staring at him with his head cocked, an action that forced Liam to stare at something else if he didn't wanna have his stomach twisting into knots again. "Actually…?"

"Actually, well… you can stay at the flat if you want. Uh, today I mean, or… stay the night, whatever." God, it was so embarrassing, Liam tried really hard to act like he didn't care what Niall did, when in reality, he cared a tad too much. 

"If you want me to." Niall had obviously looked right through him, he was grinning when Liam accidentally checked his face, quickly clearing as throat as he attempted to walk on. 

"I guess so." He finally admitted, feeling a little bad about saying it so half heartedly, it just was really scary to actually wanting to spend so much time with someone, like, Liam could hardly stand Louis and Harry sometimes and he was so surprised by himself, it's like he was another person. Which was what his friends kept telling him as well, they could hardly ever keep their mouths shut about how much Niall had changed Liam in just a month, positively. Which was quite an insult actually.

"Okay. But I don't know if anybody can drive me over, I gotta go and-"

"You got off, don't you?" For a second, Niall seemed confused about being interrupted, but he nodded anyways while Liam tried to use all the courage he had. "Well, then, just come home with me now."

"But I don't have anything to change." Despite Niall saying his worries out loud, it was very clear that he'd agree anyways, that smirk wasn't to be misinterpreted.

"I'll borrow you something from me, it's alright." They had done that before, but only once and the brief flashback made Liam blush unexpectedly, what the hell was even wrong with him, he almost never blushed, ever.

"Alright, then I'll come. Even though your clothes are about ten times too big on me and I did look quite like an idiot when I wore your hoodie, don't you think?" How could he just laugh about this?! 

"Not really…" Not at all more like. The memory was still very prominent in Liam's head, maybe it was because he wasn't looking at Niall and just thought about how bad he had felt that day because Niall had been shivering so much before Liam had wordlessly half undressed himself for the other boy. That still didn't excuse what he said out loud though instead of just thinking it. "It was cute."

"What?" Oh, how Liam wished Niall would have really misheard him, but sadly enough, that wasn't the case. "Did you just say I'm cute?"

"I didn't say you're cute, Niall, I said, IT was cute, there's a difference." Fuck, Liam's cheeks were burning now, he wanted to slap himself for being so stupid while Niall kept walking next to him, giggling like an idiot now. At least someone who enjoyed Liam not even being able to control his damn mouth.

"That's the same thing, Liam! You can just admit that I'm irresistible." Obviously, Niall took at as a joke, which was a relief for a second until he kept Liam from fastening his steps even more by simply wrapping his arms around him from the side, really tight as well. "By the way, I think you're cute too."

Oh god, this was definitely not what Liam had been trying to achieve, he just swallowed, hoping Niall would let him go but it didn't seem like it would happen anytime soon, so Liam tried patting his back softly, but that only motivated Niall to hold on tighter. "Thanks, um…"

"You're welcome, it's true." Then after another few awkward seconds where Liam felt like everyone walking past them was staring (which wasn't the case, because no one cared), Niall finally pulled back again, leaving Liam both breathless and flushed. "Let's go." 

The enthusiasm in his voice had increased if anything, Liam could hardly look down at that blinding smile without feeling his mind emptying completely, he still couldn't put his finger on what it was about Niall exactly that got him acting this way. "Yeah… right, we have to, um, walk, the bus… is not going for some reason."

"Oh, that's fine, I like walking. Well, you'd probably be a lot faster without me though." In fact, Liam didn't really think about this at first, mostly because Niall was staying so close by his side that they could've started holding hands next or something.

"Why?" Liam heard himself ask, not paying much attention as they walked out of the building finally, immediately being met by a cold wind that got Niall stepping even closer, until his arm brushed Liam's.

"Because you go for runs all the time of course. Which reminds me that I forgot to ask you if it started raining yesterday when you went, did it?" Maybe that was one of the reasons why Niall was so special, as Liam forgot about his embarrassment from before for a second to look down into the younger boy's face, it was like he really and truly cared about whatever Liam had done or whatever happened in his life, no matter how random or boring.

"No, I was fine, it was just drizzle." Then, because Liam was so captivated thinking about how nice it was of Niall to ask, he just mindlessly did the next stupid thing. "Hey, don't walk so close to the street."

Actually, Liam seriously put his arm across Niall's waist without thinking to pull him in closer even though there had hardly been ten centimeters distance between them, so now they were at maybe a half. It's just, that was the kind of stuff Liam noticed when he was with Niall, his protectiveness and maternal instincts kicked in all of a sudden. For a moment, he thought Niall would say anything about it as he let his arm slip again, but he just smiled briefly, not commenting it as Liam wanted to mentally kick himself. But then again, it felt right to be overprotective of Niall somehow. "If you ever do get into rain once again though, then you know who to call."

The reference to what felt had happened ages ago gave Liam a bit of a sting, he tried his best to return the smile though and ban the memory, thinking about how much of an asshole he had been to Niall was almost unbearable now even if he had apologized uncountable times. "Yeah, but I doubt that Zayn would actually come and pick me up."

"Liam!" Niall's eyes went wide before he gently slapped Liam's arm as he laughed, amused by how easy Niall was to tease playfully. "I meant me! But fine then, call Zayn and see if he'd pick you up within five hours."

"I was just kidding, Ni, come on, of course I'd call you." Even though Niall was clearly only pretending to be mad, Liam hesitated for a second before deciding that it was fine, wrapping his arm lightly across the younger boy's shoulder.

"You better." Then he curled his arm around Liam's waist, pressing into his side for a second, obviously enjoying whatever touch he could get. Not that Liam didn't know that already, Niall had never made a secret about being all touchy-feely, and slowly, Liam was beginning to take it over. Or at least, adjusting.

They took about an hour to get home, mostly because they were walking so slowly and talking the whole time, it was really nice actually, Liam remembered days when he had had to walk by himself and thought that he enjoyed the silence, but having Niall here made him forget about all of that. 

Niall had been at the flat a few times already, a lot more often than Liam had been at his house, and even though Niall's room was a lot bigger than his, he liked it better that way, he hadn't met Niall's adoptive family and somehow, Niall seemed to make sure it'd never come to that. They weren't talking about families at all actually, very much to Liam's pleasure, that was about his least favorite topic in the whole world and it seemed to be Niall's as well.

"You wanna eat someth-"

"Yes!" The blonde boy interrupted before Liam had even fully taken his shoes off, not a big surprise though, Niall could eat loads considering his height and how skinny he was, plus he seemed to always be hungry as well. Another thing that changed Liam's habits, as often as he had forgotten to eat sometimes, with Niall around that was hardly possible.

"Alright then." Liam chuckled, waiting for Niall to drop his bag by the door as well before coming after him, happy as usual, but maybe with a sparkle in his eyes now at the promise of getting food. "I'm not sure if Louis and Harry have left something, but we can always get some pizza."

"As long as you order it then I'm fine with everything." Of course he wouldn't order anything, even though Niall didn't seem to have a problem talking on the phone with Liam, mostly in the evening, because he almost halfway slept in during the calls, he even had one time and it had been rather adorable, to think about that Liam talking in a calm voice had put him to sleep.

In the end, Liam actually really had to order pizza for the both of them, not that he minded, seeing Niall's face when he got to eat it was probably worth it, there was no person in the world more excited about food than him.

After about three hours of lying around in Liam's bed, maybe doing one third of the studying that they had planned on because it had mostly turned into talking and joking around, Liam didn't even check the time anymore or the fact that they wouldn't be alone for much longer.

Maybe if he had then he wouldn't have let Niall keep on lying so close to him. Or maybe he would have, who knows, Liam felt like he was getting reckless. Well, maybe not what other people would call it, but reckless compared to his usual behavior anyways. "So, do you think that-"

Niall's speculations got cut off once someone opened the door without knocking, of course, almost making Liam jump up, he would have, if he hadn't had Niall's head on his stomach. This always seemed to happen in the most inconvenient moments. "Hey, Li- Oh, hi, Niall, didn't know you were here too." 

Harry just stood in the doorframe, his facial expression changing as the smirk formed on his face that almost got Liam mad. Instead, he didn't say anything about it, he could've pushed Niall off of him because the younger boy didn't seem to mind getting walked in on like this at all, but then again, Harry had already seen it. More like, he had been present during the last whole month of this.

"What do you want?" After Niall's very enthusiastic 'Hey, Harry!', Liam decided to step in, leaning up onto his elbows to glare at his friend as he winked at him, but not even that made Niall move. 

"Easy there, Liam. Sorry for walking in on you guys, I didn't think there was a possibility I'd find you naked." Yeah, that was Liam's daily life now.

"There wasn't. So, what's up?" Probably nothing, but Harry just came in uninvited anyways, sitting on the bed next to Niall's feet, still grinning at Liam as if he had caught them having sex.

"Well, actually I wanted to ask you to come watch a movie with me and Louis, but I didn't know you're already busy." Another wink that had Liam rolling his eyes, almost surprised when Niall did sit up at this after all, now his stomach felt cold, even despite his shirt.

"I wanna watch a movie." Of course, of course Niall would want to watch it, plus Liam couldn't say no when the younger boy turned his head to look at him, as if he was waiting for permission or approval or whatever it was that he needed to smile so brightly for, Liam felt a bit torn now.

"Great, maybe you can convince Liam too, you seem to be good at that." He ignored Liam's second glare, so that's when he gave up and just lied back down, waiting for Harry to leave or whatever, there was no use in saying anything anyways, especially not in front of Niall. 

"Well, I'm not gonna watch it without him so…" And then Niall just leaned his arm on Liam's stomach, making him want to groan and cover his face so he wouldn't have to look into those blue eyes anymore, because it would've been more fun to tell Harry off, but then Niall bit his bottom lip and he had won. "Please?"

"Yeah, alright." Whatever, Liam was too distracted by the weight pressing into his stomach and Niall being so close to his face as to really notice Harry's stupid grin.

"That was quick, Niall, maybe next time you can work your magic when Liam doesn't want to the vacuum cleaning. Anyways, we're in the living room, Louis is still showering, leave your clothes on, guys." Then he left, causing Niall to lie down again as well, just this time sideways, with his cheek on Liam's belly so he could keep looking at him. Luckily Niall couldn't feel what was going on inside of him because his stomach felt a lot like it was doing a backflip, this boy was so cuddly it was ridiculous.

"We don't have to." As if this would be a life challenging thing for Liam to do, Niall was seriously offering him to back out now, making him chuckle briefly.

"It's fine, Niall, I've survived watching movies with them a few hundred times before. I hope they won't start making out this time, for your sake." Not a very nice sight, Liam would've liked to spare Niall from that, but it seemed like he wouldn't mind, he was just really excited once again as he sat up all of a sudden, obviously attempting to get out of bed. 

"But this time you got me to suffer with you so it'll be fine." And once Niall was up on his feet he seriously stretched his hand out for Liam to take, even though he was way too weak to pull him up, but Liam took it anyways, not wanting Niall to get sad. Fine, maybe he wanted to a little bit as well.

His palm was really soft and warm, a lot smaller than Liam's too, which wasn't too surprising, besides, Liam was more focused on trying to get up by himself while simply holding Niall's hand even though it did nothing. Well, maybe it got his heart bumping a little faster, but that would just be ridiculous, probably a coincidence.

Liam almost forgot to let go then, but only because Niall made it seem so natural, he was all smily and squeezing Liam's hand even though he was already standing next to him, so Liam cleared his throat, slowly letting his hand slip out of Niall's gentle grip. "Right, let's go, Louis' really quick with showers if Harry isn't there with him, if you know what I mean." 

"That's really gross, Liam!" Obviously he didn't find it too gross then after all because he laughed anyways and Liam couldn't help but join a little, mostly because of Niall's face though.

The fact that they had changed clothes a while ago made Liam stare a little bit more at the younger boy now that he wasn't lying down anymore, seeing him dressed in his old sweatpants, that still were too big though, and shirt made Liam feel things that he wasn't really sure how to name. It didn't feel bad though, it was like, a content feeling, as if some things had fallen into place all of a sudden.

Walking into the living room distracted Liam from his thoughts though, mostly because Harry was lying on one of their couches, not missing one second to wink at Liam once again, making him roll his eyes. You'd think he'd get tired of doing that whenever Niall was around, but it seemed to be that he just started to find it funnier. "I hope you like horror movies, Niall."

"They're fine, as long as I don't have to watch them alone." Looking at Niall, who had luckily decided to take the other couch, Liam was pretty sure he saw his face getting a bit paler as Harry revealed what they were gonna watch, but it was probably his imagination.

Even though he was pretty sure that would get him yet another ten million stares, Liam went to sit next to Niall, leaving some distance that was almost gone within like one minute, Niall always did that, he always scooted closer immediately. "Well you got Liam here to cuddle with, right? And it's not that bad, I promise." 

Instead of looking at Harry, Liam just ignored him, throwing a side glance at Niall who had pulled his feet on the couch, hugging his legs to his chest. He definitely HAD gotten paler, maybe he was easily scared, he also didn't like sleeping alone at home now that Liam thought about it. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Niall whispered back, so Harry wouldn't hear, then he smiled at Liam, resting his cheek on his knees. "Thanks for asking though."

That caused Liam to flush immediately, he could tell that Niall really was happy whenever Liam asked about his well being, but it still took him a little off guard, wasn't it normal to ask things like this?

When Louis came, with a too big grin on his face as he spotted Niall, coming over to ruffle his hair and making him chuckle, Liam started to doubt his decision once again. One, because after putting the movie in Louis half lied down on top of Harry and two, when he had touched Niall and made him laugh, Liam had felt an urge to pull the younger boy closer into his side, a little bothered by Louis touching him. Ridiculous, Louis could do whatever the hell he wanted with Niall, Liam didn't care.

The movie started off quite normal, even though Harry had insisted they pull the curtains in front of the window because it wasn't completely dark outside yet, so all Liam could really see now was the screen, not that he minded. Horror movies were one of his favorite's, mostly because they hardly ever scared him or anything, plus Louis and Harry weren't laughing like hyenas the whole time, even though they were the kinda people who liked to point out stuff like 'oh wow that blood looks so fake' and 'that is so dumb, no one would die like this in real life'.

So the only person that was left to be affected by horror movies was Niall, and hell he did. Not at first though, he just stayed quiet for a while, Liam couldn't really see his face either because of the darkness, plus he was more watching the screen anyways, but that quickly changed when he heard a quiet yelp from his side. "Niall?"

"Y-Yes?" Liam almost didn't catch it because of the TV being so loud and Niall being so quiet, but he did notice the blonde's voice shaking. 

"You scared?" As if it wasn't obvious, Niall had scooted even closer to Liam during the past thirty minutes, he turned his head now, taking a few seconds before very slowly nodding.

"A little." He admitted, though it seemed to be more than just a little and Liam started feeling bad for him, usually when they watched movies, Niall was really excited and happy, it was the complete opposite now. 

"We can say we're tired and go to my room." It's not that Liam was really keen on watching this until the end anyways, there was an hour left or something even though three out of five main characters had already died, a rubbish movie only Harry and Louis could've picked out, they seemed to be really captivated by it, they weren't even touching as much as usual.

Niall seemed to consider it for a while, but then he shook his head as far as Liam could tell without any lights on, they were still whispering even though it seemed hardly necessary now. 

"It's alright, it's just a movie…" Liam mumbled, not really knowing what to do now so he went with his instinct, slowly moving his arm up, hesitating for a second before reaching around Niall to rub his shoulder shortly before leaving it on the back of the couch behind him. 

Actually, he had thought Niall wouldn't react anymore because he had turned his head away again, but after about five minutes, maybe a little more blood on the TV and a few not so nice scenes, Liam froze immediately as Niall made quick process with the last few remaining centimeters of distance, cuddling tightly into his side. Now this probably was just because he was scared but still, Liam didn't know what to do, it was like that one time at Niall's house, only right now Niall wasn't asleep and fully aware of what he was doing while snuggling his head into the crook of Liam's shoulder, even holding onto his shirt slightly. Plus, he didn't even say anything, as if this happened every day.

Since Niall just stayed like this, still with his legs pulled up as well, Liam tried to relax, it's not that this was so horrible, it was just unfamiliar, someone looking for comfort by snuggling into him, but Niall was really warm and it didn't feel bad at all. So to maybe help him a little, show him that it was fine, Liam hesitantly put his arm around his shoulders, not too tight, just holding him to maybe help him feeling better.

Even though it seemed to have exactly that effect because Niall stayed still now, Liam still took a while relaxing completely, he couldn't even focus on the movie anymore because of how anxious he was to be holding Niall too tight or whatever. It got ridiculous at some point really, he even was scared to look over to check whether Harry and Louis were watching them, which they probably weren't, but it shouldn't have mattered anyways.

"Liam… do you think that really happened?" No idea what Niall was whispering about into his shirt because Liam had lost track of the whole plot when the younger boy spoke up, grabbing his shirt tighter. The scared, thin voice was all Liam needed to calm down somehow as his protective instincts kicked in once again, heavier now than before, there was some warmth spreading in his stomach. Niall really did need him and even though it pained him to see the blonde boy feeling bad, it still somehow was a nice feeling. 

"No, I know Harry said it's based on true events but he just wanted to scare us. Don't worry about it, okay? You're safe." Without thinking, Liam just wrapped his other arm around Niall as well, touching his bare skin out of accident, he had goose bumps all over. "Are you cold?"

"A little…" Niall shrugged barely noticeable but Liam felt it due to the fact that he was so close pressed into his side, actually cuddling in even tighter now.

"Wait." Having Niall scared AND freezing wasn't something Liam felt okay with if he could at least do something against one of that, he let go with one arm again to search for something on the couch in complete darkness, leaning a bit away which made Niall complain. Not even that surprised Liam anymore. "One second, Ni, I just gotta… got it. Here."

There had been a blanket lying around from a few days ago that no had ever bothered to put away, pretty much like everything else in here, but Liam was glad for them being so messy now as he did his best to untangle the blanket and cover Niall with it who adjusted gratefully. In fact, he tugged himself in really tightly, pulling it to his chin before, yes, covering Liam halfway as well. "Thank you."

Liam almost told Niall that he didn't feel cold at all actually and that he could have the blanket all to himself because he was really embarrassed about them sharing it, but then he felt Niall wrapping his arm around his stomach, saying something completely different than planned before falling into silence. "You're welcome…"

Niall never answered, he stayed snuggled into Liam, holding onto him, sometimes letting a tiny noise escape his mouth or burying his face in Liam's shirt whenever there was a scary scene. And that was really when Liam couldn't bare lying to himself anymore, god, Niall WAS cute and he did like being there for him and taking care of him. 

It was really weird, as much as Liam would've been annoyed by all of this before, suddenly he enjoyed doing it, being needed felt good, it was different from his other three friends, because they all had somebody else, but Niall, he was only clinging to Liam. Maybe that did get him a little proud, even if he didn't get the reason, but Niall seemed to truly want to stick around and he always wanted to be close to Liam and tell him everything, it made him feel like the younger boy truly needed him. Which was something Liam had never had before, so in some point, Harry and Louis had been right (he wouldn't tell them though), or maybe they hadn't, because he couldn't have gone and made friends with anyone, somehow it felt really essential that it had been Niall because no one else was quite like that boy. He was really special, in good ways, no denying.

In fact, suddenly Liam felt alright staying like this for the whole rest of the movie, wrapping his second arm back around Niall as well because he seemed to like that, plus the slight shaking stopped as well.

Of course, neither of them moving had as a consequence that when the credits were rolling and Louis apparently stretched all the way over the back of the couch to turn the lights back on with a 'I've seen better endings', both him and Harry could see very well what Liam and Niall were doing.

"Well, it was alright, but…" Then Harry broke off as his eyes trailed over just as Liam looked down to see why Niall just kept on lying half on him like this even though he had loosened his arms a lot. He had fallen asleep. "Look at you two all snuggled up, I'm surprised Niall hasn't crawled under your shirt seeing how pale he was before I even pressed play."

"Harry, shh, he's asleep." Liam kinda panicked a little when the other two just kept staring at him, laughing carelessly and making him want to go over to shut them up themselves, but he couldn't move. 

"That's so cute, Liam. If I decided to take a picture now you couldn't even do anything to stop me." Which was true and it had Liam's head snapping, looking away from Niall's peaceful face that was buried in his shoulder and glaring at Louis instead who was way too amused by this.

"Don't you dare. I'm gonna bring him to bed." Right, but how should he do that? Waking him didn't sound like a good option, it's not that Liam wouldn't be able to carry him because he was really skinny, but SHOULD he? "Umm… do you guys think he'd be weirded out if I carried him?"

"Liam." Harry stopped, obviously seconds from bursting out laughing, why did he have to be so annoying? "You know that you could literally do anything and he'd just be glad that you're paying attention to him, right?"

Deep down, Liam somehow knew this was true but he ignored it either way, shortly thinking about how he'd do this before taking the blanket gently to get rid of it, immediately causing Niall to cuddle closer in his sleep. The good thing was that he already his legs up on the couch though, so Liam just had to hook his arm underneath the younger boy's knees and hold him a little tighter around his shoulders as he attempted to stand up.

Niall was even lighter than expected, he hardly stirred while being lifted up and Liam almost took a second to stare down into his face once more if he hadn't remembered the presence of his other two friends who were probably about to shit themselves any second. You would've thought they had finally gotten used to the fact that YES Liam had indeed followed their advice, but no, not those two.

"Watch out for his head." As if Niall was a baby, Louis tried to give Liam advice, he tried to be angry about it really, but in the end he still watched for Niall's head to be on his shoulder then.

"I'm not dumb. Goodnight." Before this would get even more embarrassing, Liam quickly walked past them with Niall in his arms, still sleeping soundly, as if nothing in the world could wake him up which was a huge relief for Liam. The fact that Niall could sleep so well in his presence kinda made him a bit happy, it was really cute and he actually did like carrying the boy, simply because he was so snuggly and warm and above that, at least now Liam could be certain that he was alright.

"Night, Li, make sure to cuddle Niall some more, alright?" Obviously they were making fun of him, Liam just rolled his eyes because he was almost out of sight anyways though he could still hear them pretty clearly, especially when Harry said something like 'they're so in love, they might even be cuter than us' then Louis started complaining while his boyfriend laughed and Liam took it as a hint to hurry up to get to his room.

The bed was still really messy from before, plus after shutting the door as quietly as possible with his foot, Liam was facing a much more serious problem. There was too much stuff on the couch as for Niall to sleep on there like he usually did (and Liam HAD offered him often enough that they could switch but Niall seemed to find it more exciting to sleep on a couch for some reason, 'It's more like a sleepover', that's what he had said).

There was no other choice really as to put Niall into his bed, maybe Liam preferred that anyways, he always felt really bad for the blonde boy because the couch was so small, though he hadn't slept over that often after all, but still.

His heart almost jumped out when the fingers around his shirt still held on as he tried to step away after he had made sure to lie Niall down as gently as possible, checking for the pillow to be under his head. "Liam…"

"Sh, sleep." It sounded firmer than sleep talking, Liam tried to unclench Niall's finger so he could reach out for the blanket and tug him in but all it helped was the fact that Niall was now holding onto his hand, not opening his eyes.

"But, Liam… don't leave." Liam had no idea what to do, he hesitated, trying to slowly pull his hand out of Niall's but he didn't seem to wanna let go so he sat down on the edge of the bed, looking down at Niall.

"I'm not, I just wanted to get the blanket for you." He explained quietly, hoping the younger boy would fall asleep again but his eyes fluttered open a little now as he squeezed Liam's hand, curling up more into himself. 

"No, but…" Niall sounded really whiny, leaving Liam a little clueless as he looked into Niall's sleepy eyes, they half dropped closed again, maybe he wasn't even aware of what he was saying or how tightly he was clenching the other's hand by now. "Stay here with me."

"I am here, Niall, what's wrong?" With a lot of uncomfortable moving involved, Liam managed to pull the blanket up from behind and over a shivering Niall as he talked, pleased to see him cuddle up underneath it. 

"No, I mean, sleep here… with me. Please?" Well, he could've blamed this on the boy's tiredness even though he was clearly awake and looking at him despite the fact that his voice was quiet and thick with sleep, but he had _definitely_ just said that. 

"I'll be right on the couch, Niall, it's just a few meters." The urge to climb into bed with Niall was almost unbearable for Liam, he really wanted to do what he had been asked to, but then again, wouldn't that go too far? Cuddling on the couch was already on the edge, but this?

"It's too far, Li, I'm scared of the movie." That confession got Liam sighing, in fact, it bothered him so much that he hadn't just dragged Niall out of the room before, he didn't even think about it as he reached out with his free hand to brush some blonde hair out of his forehead like he had wanted to all along. It really was just as soft as it looked like, just like Niall's palm, he could've held his hand forever and ran his fingers through the boy's hair, but he didn't of course, that'd be creepy. "Please."

There had been a tiny sniff at the end, plus Niall rubbed at his blue eye with his knuckles, breaking Liam's already very week inner protest. Whatever, Niall wanted it after all, he wasn't forcing him to do this or anything. "Okay, but um… my bed is not that big."

The size of the bed seemed to be the last thing on Niall's mind, he released Liam's hand, allowing him to get up and go to the other side of the bed so he wouldn't have to go and climb over Niall, only slowly lying down, a little unsure, he had never done anything like this before. And… oh, they only had one blanket too, this was not at all awkward. 

"You know I'm not sure if this is gonna work, you won't have much space if-" 

Before Liam could fully express his worries, Niall let something very close to a sigh escape, he had just been lying there with half closed eyes the whole time, suddenly sitting up to scoot closer to Liam, taking the blanket with him. "I don't even wanna have space."

And that's all it needed really, Niall sounding as firm as somehow possible while still being half asleep, lightly pressing onto Liam's shoulder until he just gave in and got onto his back completely, a bit taken off track when he realized that Niall got them into the exact same position as before, like, he even covered Liam with the blanket and moved his arm so he could rest his head on his chest, cuddling up. 

No one said a word then for a minute, Liam tried to desperately figure out what to do and to relax, thinking that Niall had already fallen asleep again when he spoke up, quietly and being numbed by Liam's shirt. "If you want me to back off you can tell me… I don't want you to be uncomfortable, I just… I like cuddling with you, like before… it really helped." 

"No, it's fine, Niall, really." To proof it, Liam wrapped his arm around him, even though he still hadn't gotten over this completely, or gotten used to it, the only thing he was certain about was that he couldn't push Niall off or make him sad by telling him to move away. After all, he wasn't uncomfortable, it was just new, a situation he would've never thought he'd get into, because let's be honest, who'd want to do something like this with _Liam_? Apparently, Niall. "Go to sleep, okay? I didn't want to wake you before, I'm sorry."

"It's okay… thank you for taking care of me." That made Liam freeze, for another reason as to have Niall this close and even grabbing onto his shirt again as if he was scared he might disappear. Was Niall really thankful for that, as in, he enjoyed what Liam was doing? Did it really help him or was he just trying to be nice?

No idea what the reason was, it made Liam smile a little bit, giving him enough courage to use his free hand and ruffle Niall's hair slightly, leaving it there for a second afterwards. "It's alright. Goodnight, Ni." 

"Goodnight…" Nothing more than a breath, he seemed to be pretty gone already, even though it was only now that Liam noticed that the lights were still on, having so trouble turning them off without moving Niall too much.

It only took the younger boy about five minutes to drift off completely while Liam was just lying there, holding him with one arm, sometimes making sure to readjust the blanket, but not knowing what to think.

Everything that had just happened during the past few hours, plus Liam's realization about enjoying all of it had really changed a few things inside of him, for example the fact that he suddenly wanted to stroke Niall's hair again and hold him even closer, tighter, make sure he would have no nightmares because of the movie. 

Liam hadn't planned on any of this to happen, he hadn't been prepared, and he knew he shouldn't have felt or done any of those things but it was too late, he was in way too deep already and he knew it for sure the second he pressed his palm to Niall's cheek gently without thinking, stroking the soft skin with his thumb, wanting nothing more suddenly than to keep him safe.

 

————————

 

When Liam woke up in the morning, he felt rather confused and disoriented, especially when he felt something tickling along his cheek, causing him to blink his eyes open in confusion just so they could go wide when he remembered.

Niall was still asleep, but they had moved while being passed out, both to their sides, facing each other, even their legs were tangled up now and Niall was pressing himself into Liam, still clinging to him tightly, with his head tucked under the older boy's chin. How had this happened?

For a few moments, Liam didn't move, scared he might wake Niall up, but the boy didn't do as much as even stir a little, his even breath being the only thing that filled the room, or maybe even the whole flat because it was too early for anybody else to be up yet.

The only reason why Liam had woken up was because he had to go to work, it took a while until he had moved enough to reach his phone, realizing that he only had like half an hour before he'd have to leave, so this was going to be quite a problem.

Having to literally unclench Niall's fingers from him, Liam started feeling really bad, he didn't just want to leave him here without saying anything even though Niall would know where he was anyways, but it still felt wrong, especially with the blonde boy being so cuddly and cute.

Yes, cute, because despite the fact that waking up had been a bit of a shock, Liam still had the same way of looking at things that he had had the night before and somehow, while trying to get out of bed as quietly as possible, he also knew that he wouldn't be able to go back to how it had been before. Not now that he had heard Niall mumbling in his sleep and seen him curling up as soon as he was alone, hair all messy, one hand tucked under his cheek. He was gonna kill Liam sooner or later, like, he even had the urge to go lie back down with him, definitely not a normal thing to feel.

Before Liam left, he hesitated before writing Niall a note, just because it would be polite of course, but it turned out harder than he had thought, what did he even want to tell him anyways, Niall _knew_ that he had to work. 

So then Liam gave himself a push, thinking about what he really wanted to actually say but was just too scared to, even if it was just one single word that he wrote before quickly putting the paper on his empty space in bed next to Niall's head, leaving to keep himself from both changing his mind and also from staring at a sleeping Niall for too long. 

 

_Stay?_

 

———————

 

"Liam, there's nothing much going on here, you can call it a day." Maybe it was also because Liam was doing such a bad job, even though, there wasn't much to do wrong when you were just stacking shelves, but his mind constantly drifted off today somehow and it's not that he didn't know why, but still.

When Liam left the store, an hour earlier than usual, he resisted the urge to check his phone immediately, it's just, he kinda wanted to proof to himself that he wasn't that obsessed with Niall that he couldn't just wait a little longer to see if he had really stayed or not. 

So literally, he tried to think about anything that didn't involve the younger boy as he walked through the mall towards the exit, it was really loud in here, very unpleasant for Liam's ears, he wasn't a huge fan of crowds. Or people. Or anything really.

Despite all those voices becoming a background blur, when someone yelled his name, Liam stopped instantly, thinking that he had just imagined it, wanting to walk on when he saw two guys that he knew only too well. "Liam!"

Seeing Niall with LOUIS just casually strolling around caused more than just confusion to grow inside of Liam, but he still felt himself smiling unwillingly as the younger boy walked up so fast to him that he hardly had a chance to notice that he was wearing one of his shirt before he already had his arms wrapped around Liam's middle. "Well, hi, what are you guys doing here?"

Since Niall obviously wouldn't let go anytime soon again, Liam hugged him as well, absently rubbing his back with one hand as he looked at Louis, waiting for an explanation and trying hard not to glare. "Louis made me."

"Made you what?" Well, alright, Liam was slowly getting mad, which was ridiculous but still, if he hadn't had off then who knows what the two of them would've done, it's not that he didn't trust Louis, but he didn't feel like him and Niall spending time alone was such a good idea. Even though they had been friends all along, Liam didn't like it, he tightened his arms around Niall, pleased that he made no attempts to pull away, just resting his head on Liam's shoulder. 

"I didn't make him do anything, I just asked him to come along because I still need a birthday present for Harry. Well, and I thought we could pick you up from work then but since you're already here, you can help me too, Niall is only suggesting weird things." Louis winked at Liam, as if he knew about his inner fight to keep calm, now that he had an explanation, he wasn't too mad anymore, just… a little upset.

"I'm not! You know, I really think Harry would enjoy a popcorn machine. I would." Niall huffed, he was still hugging Liam, resting against him with half of his weight.

"Maybe Liam buys you one if you ask him nicely, but I should probably get something more personal. Come on, guys, doesn't any of you have normal ideas?" Just because Louis seemed pretty desperate, Liam didn't snap at him, but that was the only reason really and maybe a bit because Niall hadn't pulled away yet, it was getting weird by now, but he still didn't want it to stop.

"Well, what did you give him last year?" Liam had no idea actually even as he thought about it, which let him come to the conclusion that he didn't even wanna know, he regretted asking but Louis didn't answer anyways, he just rolled his eyes before making some gesture with his hand, obviously wanting them to follow him. 

Now Liam's plan of going home and doing nothing was completely destroyed, Niall pulled away, kinda unwillingly, or maybe Liam thought so because he wanted it to be this way, letting his arms slip as well. "Why do you need us to come, Lou?"

"Because I'm bad at making decisions and I almost had to pay Zayn for calling Harry and pretending that he needed help with some project." Great, Liam sighed internally while walking after Louis, Niall sticking close by his side as usual, every once in a while letting their arms bump together, it seemed to be his thing. 

"Thanks for the note by the way." No one had said anything for a while after Louis had brought them in some stupid store, holding a monologue about what to buy, so Liam was surprised to hear Niall talking to him, he had thought the boy was somehow still too tired to do much conversation.

"No problem." His face got a little hot, but Liam didn't look away from Niall's eyes, barely returning the smile, a little embarrassed, the only reason why he had decided to leave him the note in the end had been because he hadn't been there to see Niall's reaction and he didn't wanna discuss it now either. "So, when did you wake up?"

"If you left at eight like you usually do" He did, why had Niall remembered that? "then I woke up like two hours later or so. It was cold without you."

"Oh… I'm sorry." What else should Liam have said, he slowly let his eyes drift off of Niall's face, watching Louis for a bit instead, who was still busy trying to decide for presents, looking a bit desperate already, maybe also because of the non existent help coming from the other two.

"It's not your fault though. Did it really not bother you, you know… last night? I'm sorry if I got too clingy, it's just, I was a bit scared and then I was sleepy too so I didn't really spend much thought on it and I-"

"Hey, Niall, it's alright, don't think about it." Niall had seriously sounded worried so Liam made sure to interrupt him, smiling slightly because he couldn't help it, if that boy only knew how _alright_ it had been then Liam would've gotten so embarrassed his face would've caught fire from how hot it would've gotten. If he couldn't even admit liking all of this affection he was getting to himself half the time, he sure as hell couldn't tell Niall.

"Okay… I'm just never sure, you know, um… because I don't wanna be annoying, but it really helped me last night. And I know you don't like touching too much, so thank you." This had Liam looking back down at him, surprised by his words, the fact that his voice had gotten more quiet when it usually was excited, plus Niall playing with his fingers nervously, looking past Liam's shoulder. 

"Niall…" For a second, Liam fought with himself, but he couldn't stand seeing Niall sad or down or anything besides happy, so he sighed quietly, knowing that with saying it, there would be no way back. "I would've said something if I didn't like you being so touchy, you know." 

For a second or two, Niall stared at him, confused, while Liam wanted to slap himself just when the younger boy's face lit up. How did he manage being so happy about this confession, Liam had thought he had been too obvious about it already, even if he had never told Niall, mostly because he had tried denying it secretly, but ever since last night… "I can be even more touchy if you want me to."

That had Liam laughing out loud, no reason really, maybe he liked the thought a little, or a lot, because he was never even brave enough to just hug Niall if he randomly got the urge to. But then again, he didn't want to say it like that, it's not like he was obsessed with the boy or something, he just liked him and it was nice being able to admit that. "Just do whatever you feel like, Ni." 

"So you're giving me permission?" This conversation was going beyond abnormal, but Liam was still chuckling and Niall grinned from one ear to the other, looking way too thrilled by this.

"I'm just saying, you can do whatever you want, obviously." And Liam would enjoy the hell out of it, but he tried to keep it down, he could already feel that he would start questioning both his words and decisions once he was alone again, but for now, he wasn't too turned down by the idea of cuddling Niall more often like last night. "And-"

"Guys, we're leaving, plus you're the worst decision helpers I have ever met." Louis came back empty handed, interrupting Liam, which probably was a good thing though before more awkward stuff could come out of his mouth. 

"Did you find nothing?" Niall scooted even closer to Liam under Louis' slight glare, their arms touching once again. 

"Just get him an engagement ring or something." It was very obviously a joke, Liam just wanted to safe Niall from getting snapped at, he patted the boy's back shortly, not really knowing what else to do but it was enough to have Niall lean in more.

What he hadn't expected though was Louis being quiet for a second, as if he seriously thought about it, then suddenly a very worrying smile spread across his face. He couldn't really think that that had been a good idea right?! "I changed my mind, we're not leaving yet."

And then he took less than a second to go to the entrance of the store, leaving Liam frozen and staring for a bit before he realized that he had to stop his friend, grabbing Niall's hand thoughtlessly to pull him with him as he hurried after Louis, too caught up as to notice. "Louis, wait! You cannot propose to someone just because you didn't find another birthday present!" 

Some heads maybe turned because Liam was half yelling, finally catching up to Louis, who was still wearing his smug grin, not even looking at him. "Well, why not? I would've proposed to him some day anyways."

"Yeah, _some day_ , Louis, but you're twenty. And you've been dating for what, five years?" Alright, that sure was a lot, but still, Liam felt very responsible for this, in fact, he was so worried he had forgotten to let go of Niall's hand, not that the younger boy complained or made any attempts to pull away either. "Besides, I'm pretty sure Harry wouldn't appreciate it if you choose to do this just because you were desperate." 

"That doesn't change the fact that I mean it though. You know, I thought about this a lot, and it doesn't mean that we will marry tomorrow or something, maybe only in five years, but we're finally actually old enough so it won't come off as weird. See, Li, if I do this I'll let you hold a speech at our wedding about how it was your idea." Maybe Louis really thought that the smile he gave Liam was encouraging, as if he was a child or something, he was so set on this idea, what else could Liam have said? In some ways, it sounded pretty logical, but then again… 

"So what are you gonna get him for his next birthday then if you get the ultimate thing now?" Liam tried to be mean though it didn't work correctly because his friend just laughed, something was really wrong with him.

"Let that be my problem. Maybe I'll adopt us a child." What?!

"Louis-"

"Don't ruin your pants, Liam, I was kidding. Just be glad you're allowed to be with me in such an important moment. And you too, Niall, I'll invite you to the wedding as well, you can be Liam's date." Of course he had to go too far again, but Liam was suddenly reminded of the blonde boy's presence again as he laughed a little, becoming aware of the fact that they had been holding hands for minutes. Now this was a bit awkward, why hadn't Niall let go yet, Liam didn't wanna just jerk his hand away and be mean, he just quickly checked the boy's face, but it was the complete opposite of uncomfortable or unhappy. But they couldn't just keep on holding hands like this, could they?!

They did though, at least for the next few minutes because Liam didn't figure out how to let go in the nicest way possible, not that he minded it, but it was way past what they should've been doing. It was just, Niall made everything seem so natural, as if this was the most normal thing in the world, but Liam couldn't allow it because what would come next, snogging? The fact alone that he was even thinking about kissing Niall was going too far already, it was not that he wanted to anyway.

So while Liam tried to figure out why he had so many issues that he couldn't even do what he wanted with his hands, Louis had dragged them into another store and Niall just stayed his usual self, amused by whatever Louis was about to do, not at all bothered by the skin on skin contact with Liam, he probably enjoyed it and that was even worse, none of them should get used to this.

"May I help you?" There was this store lady that almost got Liam jumping, accidentally squeezing Niall's hand even more.

"Thanks, we're good." Louis smiled at her, so she returned it, nodding before suddenly looking at Liam and Niall, then at the rings they were all standing in front of. Then she ruined Liam's life.

"Well, congratulations." And she said it all smily, as if she loved destroying everything, very obviously looking at only Niall and Liam because of them still holding hands before walking off, leaving some extremely uncomfortable silence behind that got interrupted by Louis bursting out laughing.

"Oh my god, guys, you could've at least thanked her." He didn't even comment on their hands, just shaking his head and going back to looking, giving Liam an excuse to finally pull away from Niall, not having dared looking at him in forever. 

"I, um… gotta go use the restroom, I'll be right back." Liam had never had to use the restroom any less in his whole entire life, but he cleared his throat, slowly turning to leave, careful not to look any of his friends into the face, especially not Niall, he didn't even want to find out whether he was hurt or not, he had made up the toilet lie after all to prevent that.

Actually, Liam just walked out the store and went out of sight a little bit, trying to calm down and stop his face from feeling as if he might burn up. What had he thought just grabbing Niall's hand?! He could've also just taken his wrist that would've been a hell lot more appropriate, or not touched him in any way because that boy was more than capable of catching up with him by himself.

Despite all of this trouble, his hand still felt kinda empty now, and cold too, he had to clench and unclench it a few times, take a few breaths and try to suppress his worries for now, why was it that everything seemed to be such a great deal to Liam? Niall hadn't cared either, he just did whatever he wanted to and whenever, he was so carefree, it almost made Liam envious. 

But then again, he had a reason for not being like Niall, not only because he wasn't used to it, but he couldn't tell him, it was like, a private thing and above that, he didn't want to scare the boy away, because it wasn't a nice story. 

When he finally got back, Niall and Louis were busy discussing, probably as the loudest ones in the store, it would've been embarrassing if that wasn't exactly what Liam had expected, it just made him smile actually as he already heard them from a few meters away. "But it's a once in a lifetime thing, Louis!"

"I'm not made of money!"

"It's his birthday!"

"Do _you_ want to buy him an engagement ring?"

"No, I was just saying, I bet he'd like the other one better." Niall shrugged afterwards, suddenly turning around and looking right at Liam, an expression of relief settling on his face, good, he wasn't mad at least, still happy to see Liam. "Let's ask Liam."

He didn't even have to look at it to know that he would agree with Niall anyways, simply because, also a little bit because the younger boy grabbed his lower arm to pull him closer immediately, half hugging it afterwards, pointing at the rings with his free hand. "Niall's right."

"You're so predictable, Liam." And that's all Louis said, he didn't even turn his head, Liam knew that he was right anyways, he hadn't even looked at the rings properly, he was more busy with feeling Niall's arm curled around his as he leaned in, suddenly grabbing his wrist lightly with his free hand. That was the outcome of before's conversation and the hands holding, Liam had brought this on by himself, he couldn't exactly say that he minded though, even if he just had had to walk away to calm down. 

In the end, Louis bought a completely different ring, after ignoring Liam trying to change his mind a few more times, he was kinda panicked deep down, not because he thought it was inappropriate for Louis to propose, but well… it just reminded him again of how this was only temporary, sooner or later all of them would move somewhere else and as much as Liam wanted to be alone sometimes, living by himself sounded really lonely.

But he had known this all along anyways, at least it couldn't get as bad as it had been before college, that was really the only string of hope he had. Plus, Niall didn't appear to be planning on just forgetting about Liam anytime soon.

Actually, he had kept holding onto him the whole time then up until they were walking back to Louis' car, proofing that he hadn't joked about being able to be even more touchy than before. "I hate to say this, Li, but this was a great idea."

"When are you gonna give it to him? Are you gonna go down on one knee?" Niall was really excited about this as it seemed to be, which was the only reason for Liam's smile really, he still didn't approve of Louis proposing just because he had made a dumb joke.

"Actually, I might wait until next weekend because we'll be alone at my grandparents' house to watch it, but I'll tell you how it went, Niall. And you could do me a favor too and have a sleepover with Liam so he won't sit around and think about how much everything sucks." If Louis hadn't gotten so good at ducking away then Liam would've managed to give him a clap on the back of his head for that more than stupid comment. 

"You know that I actually am able to survive two days by myself, right?" Even if Liam hadn't even known until now that Harry and Louis would leave, but it's not that he cared too much, they had done this a few times, the house was like an hour away, plus it was pretty big. Not that the size mattered if they were gonna do what Liam thought they would. Disgusting.

"But I really wouldn't mind coming over." Niall blurted out, causing Louis to wink at Liam, who just rolled his eyes, looking down at Niall instead who had let go of his arm now, still walking very close, his fringe was being blown out of his forehead by the wind when they stepped outside and Liam couldn't help but smile slightly. 

"I would've asked you by myself though, I was just saying, Louis can stop playing babysitter." Because despite the fact that Louis could be really annoying, his idea had definitely not been bad at all. 

"It's okay, it'll still be great though, I can bring DVD's!" There probably wasn't one person in the whole world that would get so happy over sleeping over at someone's place for two days straight, Niall was grinning so big at Liam, it was the only reason why he gave himself a push, lightly slinging his arm around the boy's shoulders, it didn't matter anymore really, considering everything else that had already happened.

"Maybe not a horror one this time, huh?" Well, if they did happen to watch another one, accidentally of course, then Liam would be there to calm Niall down again, not that he wished that to happen but just considering it did.

Before Niall could answer or do as much as letting go of the side hug he had Liam pulled into while they were walking, Louis was a lot faster, half turning around, letting Liam already know that there was nothing good to come out of his mouth now by simply seeing the expression on his face. "Don't pretend you two, you both enjoyed the hell out of the situation this movie got you in. By the way, Niall, do you mind that Liam carried you into his room, because he was freaking the hell out about it."

"I wasn't freaking out about anything…" Liam mumbled, squeezing Niall's shoulder a bit even though he was pretty sure that no one else minded as much about the side comments Louis and Harry never failed to think of, why did they always have to ruin everything?

"No, I don't mind at all, I would've been too tired to walk if you had woken me up anyways." Niall shrugged, which Liam could feel pretty well because he still had his arm around the boy, not feeling like letting go, plus they were in the parking lot so he felt kinda better to have Niall near him.

"See, I told you, you can carry him anywhere you want to." That was actually not what Louis had said at all, but Liam decided to drop it since they had almost reached the car now. "So, Niall, you want me to drive you home or something?"

Right, that's something Liam hadn't thought about yet, Niall would go home again at some point, he didn't want him to, which is why he had put the note, but he didn't wanna be so straight forward either, even if Niall threw a questioning look at him, not answering right away so Liam did it for him instead. "Actually…I think we're gonna go eat something." 

"You are?" Louis sounded very surprised, so was Liam, by himself, because he had literally just said the first thing on his mind.

"Yeah… you can come if you want to, I'm just really hungry and I don't think Niall has eaten already?" Probably not, but even if he had, he'd still be hungry again anyways, Liam quickly check for approval, pleased to have him shake his head before leaning into his side like he seemed to do so often, head on Liam's shoulder as he still hadn't removed his arm from around Niall.

"Well, I'm gonna pass I think. Harry will come home soon, I can drive you though." The smirk that had spread on his face was bugging Liam a lot, mostly because he knew that Louis was about three seconds from saying the word 'date' and then Liam got even madder at himself because now he had been thinking about it before Louis had even said it.

"No, we'll walk, it's fine, but thanks. I'll see you at home then?" Liam was already starting to slowly pull Niall away from Louis and his car, hoping that they might be able to safe themselves from another awkward situation. Well, awkward only for Liam.

"Yeah, well I do hope so, Liam. Bye, guys, have fun, and thanks for helping me." He winked, for whatever reason, well, it wasn't hard to guess, so Liam quickly looked away, just wishing he would get inside already. 

"Bye, Louis!" Niall's over enthusiastic wave almost caused Liam to smile stupidly but he suppressed it because of Louis' presence, relieved when they could finally turn around and get out of sight, this could've ended really badly as well, it was almost embarrassing how happy Liam got to spend time alone with Niall, slowly letting his arm sink now.

"So, where'd you wanna go? You can choose, I'm fine with everything." They wouldn't even have to go eat, it had just been an excuse anyway, but seeing Niall grinning when he said that, maybe they should go eat something, he didn't want Niall to starve after all.

"Let's just go to where we always go, it's not far anyways. Well, and…" Suddenly, Niall looked away, biting his lip. "And can we get ice cream too? Later I mean."

God, he really was cute, Liam was gonna tear a muscle in his face one day having to smile so much over everything he said and did. "Sure thing. We've never done that before, have we?"

"I don't think so. I haven't gotten any in too long actually, what's your favorite flavor? No, wait, let me guess!" And that's how Niall easily carried on making Liam laugh and smile for the rest of their walk, and afterwards too, to be honest, he did it all the time, making Liam feel happier, like a better person, and Niall probably didn't even know how much influence he had on him. 

They did get ice cream after they were done eating, a hell lot of ice cream because Liam thought Niall might have a stroke trying to pick, so he had told him that he'd pay and gotten eight flavors in four cups, no idea why he suddenly was so adventurous, but Niall's eyes almost falling out was way worth it. 

And he didn't even mind at all that Niall tried all of them with the same spoon that he had gotten his spit all over, something Liam usually couldn't stand at all with other people, yet when Niall excitedly exclaimed that 'I found the best one, try it!' while almost forcing the spoon into Liam's mouth, he parted his lips without a second thought. 

It had gotten dark as they walked to Niall's house from the bus station, he had told Liam he could make it home on his own, which wasn't only ridiculous since his face had gotten all pale by saying it, but it also got Liam a little panicky at just the thought. There wasn't even a question whether he'd walk him or not, god knows what could've happened to him, besides, spending that twenty minutes more together didn't seem like such a bad idea either. 

Liam was glad that it was dark, except for the few streetlights on the sidewalk, otherwise Niall might have seen the goosebumps on his arms and would've insisted on giving Liam his hoodie back that he was wearing because he would've frozen to death otherwise. "Hey, Li, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what is it?" Keeping his teeth from chattering was really hard, so Liam was glad for Niall walking this extremely close like he usually did, his body heat warming his one side a little bit.

"You know, before, when we were at the mall with Louis… " Oh god, this is not what Liam had hoped to hear, yet still, he wasn't as nervous to hear the question as he would've been a few hours before, it was just Niall after all, it was fine. "And when … when you held my hand to pull me with you… why didn't you let go afterwards?"

Yeah, _why_ hadn't he actually? At least Liam wasn't blushing over it anymore, thinking that yeah, maybe he just hadn't let go because he had liked it, feeling Niall's warm palm in his, it's something he had seen countless people doing but had never experienced himself. "I don't know… you didn't let go either."

That had Niall going silent for a second, they were just walking next to each other, a little slower than they normally would, maybe because Niall's house would've already been in sight if it hadn't been so dark. "I liked holding your hand…"

He was so quiet, Liam almost didn't catch it, but his heart almost stopped anyways, it's not that he hadn't known, it was just, hearing Niall actually saying it, and while sounding so shy which was so unusual for him, caused Liam to struggle for words after that confession. 

For Niall, it was kinda easy to admit, because he liked all the stuff that involved loads of touching, but for Liam it was like an inner fight, he constantly had to keep in mind that he didn't know how far he could let himself get pulled in, he had no idea where any of this was going, or what he wanted to be the outcome. But what he did know was that Niall liked him a lot, and ever since last month had happened, he had been so distracted by him, it was hardly possible to not think about him for a whole day. And another thing he was a 100% certain of, he wanted to make Niall happy, all the freaking time, and be the one to cause this smile to stay on his face and who makes him laugh and who watches out for him.

So that's why Liam didn't bother answering and reached over instead until he found Niall's hand, feeling it twitching in his because of the sudden contact, but still slipping his finger's between much smaller and warmer ones, not commenting it.

The funny thing was, as much as Niall had to say sometimes, he stayed quiet for a bit now, squeezing back though and causing Liam to smile a little into the darkness, quite enjoying walking like this, he even almost forgot that he was gonna have frostbites once he got home if Niall hadn't mentioned it. "Your hand is freezing, you shouldn't have given me your hoodie…"

"I'm okay, you always get colder way faster than I do." And Liam couldn't imagine any worse sight than a sick Niall after he could've prevented it, plus Niall looked really snuggly in his clothes, he still had Liam's shirt on as well actually. "We're almost there anyways, I'll survive, don't worry."

"I hope so…" Niall mumbled, obviously still a little thrown off track by them having their fingers intertwined, but Liam knew that he enjoyed this as well because he could constantly see Niall looking down at their hands from the corner of his eyes, and he squeezed Liam's extra tight as well, as if he never wanted to let go again or something. 

For the last few minutes, no one really said anything, but Niall still made Liam extra happy by holding onto his wrist with his second hand too, leaning his cold cheek against his upper arm for a bit, the highest he could reach if he didn't get onto his tiptoes. 

Saying goodbye was actually the last thing Liam felt like doing, but Niall probably had to go back home at one point again, he didn't know about his adoptive parents, but maybe there were rules or something, Liam didn't wanna ask, if Niall felt the need to share something, he would do it eventually.

Liam walked with him up to the front porch, the light going on automatically, and luckily there were curtains in front of every window so he calmed down a little bit as Niall slowly let his hand slip from Liam's, making him feel the loss immediately. "So… I better give this back to you for your way home." 

Then he attempted to take the hoodie off really clumsily, it was so adorable actually that Liam couldn't help but chuckle even though he wasn't in the best mood ever, he tried to help Niall, loving the way his cheeks had turned completely dark red once they had managed to pull the piece of clothing over his head. "Thanks, Ni. You better get inside quick, I don't want you to get sick." 

Niall just nodded slowly before looking at Liam, biting his lip in that one way that got him feeling a bit dizzy by just watching before the blonde just took a step forward, burying his face in the crook of Liam's neck, tightly wrapping his arms around his middle, automatically causing Liam to hug back. He used to be taken by surprise, but it seemed quite normal now. Besides, there probably wasn't a person alive who could give better hugs than Niall, Liam was certain of that. "I forgot all of my stuff and my clothes at your place."

That got Liam laughing softly because it was true, Niall was just mumbling it against his shirt, his hot breath not being stopped by the piece of clothing, warming his skin a little as he rubbed his free hand across Niall's back. "It's okay, if you got time, I can give it back to you tomorrow."

"Um, I can also come over to pick it up, you know…" The fact that they were already making plans to seeing each other again had Liam's stomach doing some funny things, he rested his chin on Niall's head, closing his eyes for a bit, just enjoying this right here because one thing was sure as hell, once he got time to think, he was gonna go insane about this day and last night.

"Whatever you want, Ni. Just text me or something, okay?" He rocked them a bit, lingering in the hug for a little while longer before attempting to pull away once he got the urge to press his lips into the soft hair that was tickling his skin. And it smelled good too, Niall smelled great in general though and Liam wasn't even embarrassed about knowing this. "Hey, you should get inside, it's freezing."

"Yeah…" Niall seemed to not want to let go but he did eventually, not looking up even as Liam rubbed the boy's bare arms a little out of instinct, wanting to keep him warm for as long as possible.

"You okay?" The fact that Niall was staring at his feet got Liam a little worried, he was about to say something when suddenly, Niall did look up, his face flushed brightly as he nodded, avoiding Liam's eyes. 

"I'm good. Thanks for everything, Li, I… I really, really like spending time with you." And before Liam could do as much as open his mouth, Niall had already gotten on his tiptoes, holding onto Liam's arm for support as he leaned in closer before doing the unthinkable and kissing Liam's cheek quickly, causing him to freeze immediately. Had this just really happened? God, Liam hadn't even shaved properly and Niall still had wanted to do this? "Goodnight, Liam, text me when you're home."

His breath hit Liam's skin as he whispered before pulling away quickly and turning around, fumbling with the keys in his pockets, not turning around anymore as he locked up the front door before disappearing inside and leaving Liam alone and confused on his front porch.

Liam's cheek was tingling like crazy, there was no doubt, but he resisted touching it, slowly forcing his legs to move, suddenly feeling as if it was summer outside instead of freezing cold. 

It actually wasn't that big of a surprise, it's just, Liam still hadn't expected it in some ways, just like Niall admitting he liked holding his hand, it didn't come out of nowhere but somehow all of it had caused him to freeze up. So this just added up to all the problems Liam had to sort out already, even though somehow, he didn't feel like dealing with any of them.

Somehow he kinda just wanted to go with it and see what would happen, which wasn't a very Liam-like thing to do, usually he planned things and then he stuck to them, but with Niall, that seemed to be impossible, he was too spontaneous and he never failed to cause Liam running out of words. Adding up to that, all of his previous plans regarding Niall had failed terribly as well, he just couldn't keep away from him or stop them from getting too close, it wasn't physically possible.

So while waiting for the bus, Liam decided that he wouldn't overanalyze the situation just for once, he would just wait and see, and he definitely wouldn't start getting angry at Louis and Harry for asking things like 'How was your date' once he got home with that dumb smile on his face that he just couldn't seem to get rid of despite everything.

It hadn't been a date of course, but if it would have, then Liam was pretty sure it had gone very well.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff :D

At first, Liam thought the pain in his head came from the annoying sound his phone seemed to make right next to his ear, but as he grunted before turning onto his stomach and searching for the thing to turn it off or pick up or whatever, he realized that actually his head wasn't the only thing that kinda hurt. 

His whole body somehow felt sore and weak, but he ignored it for now as he finally found his phone with closed eyes, holding it to his ear after picking up without checking. "Yeah…?" Hell, his throat burned like fire when he talked, he didn't even get the word out correctly, his voice was kinda raspy and still thick with sleep as well adding up to that. 

"Liam! Where are you? I texted you like ten times, are you alright?" It was Niall, sounding pretty panicked to Liam's confusion, why was he asking all those questions anyways, wasn't it like, sometime in the morning?

"Uh… what time is it?" Trying to clear his throat had been a poor decision, Liam flinched slightly, rolling over onto his back because he felt as if he might run out of breath if he continued to press his face into the pillow, but it didn't really get any better, only now, he felt even more exhausted.

"It's like, three pm, Li. Did you oversleep?" That had Liam sitting up in less than a second, he never ever didn't hear his alarm, but as he threw a glance at his bedside table he saw that Niall had been speaking the truth, shit, he had overslept all of his classes, there actually wasn't even a reason anymore to get up.

Or maybe there was, because it was friday and Harry and Louis had probably already left for their weekend alone (without waking Liam, idiots) so Niall had been supposed to come home with Liam once they both were done with their classes. "I did… just…" Before Liam could tell him that he should just take the bus and come over, he suddenly had to press his hand in front of his mouth so he wouldn't throw up all over the bed, the sudden sickness had come out of nowhere.

"Li? You still there? What's wrong?" Pressing his eyes shut, trying to relax a bit, even though Niall's voice had gotten even more panicky than before, Liam slowly attempted to get out of bed, not making any fast movements. 

"Hang on." He chocked out then, almost gagging while doing so before cutting Niall off as he attempted so say something else by just hanging up and halfway running into the bathroom with his phone still in his hands.

It was a true miracle that Liam didn't miss the toilet bowl as he emptied his whole stomach while tears built up in his eyes. Liam hadn't gotten sick or thrown up in what seemed like forever so it was quite a big shock now but at least that explained why he had started felting like he had gotten run over by a truck while he had been asleep.

When Liam felt as if he might be able to flush the toilet and sit back against the wall, he felt like he could lie down on the tiles and sleep for yet another 10 hours, but his phone vibrated again, probably for the fifteenth times after he had hung up. 

So he let his head fall against the wall as he picked up, his throat burning impossibly worse now, not even talking about the disgusting taste he had in his mouth, but getting up to brush his teeth seemed about as exhausting as climbing a mountain. "I'm sorry, Niall, I-"

"What the hell are you even doing, Liam?! Where are you?" Niall was so worried that Liam let his eyes fall closed, hating himself for getting sick just on this day, he had really looked forward to spending the weekend alone with Niall and he knew the other boy had too. Ever since what had happened a week ago, things had changed a little, Liam was more okay with the touching thing now, plus he didn't feel like too much of an idiot anymore if he was the one to start it. They didn't hold hands on a daily basis now though, and Niall also hadn't kissed his cheek again, but it was still different, a lot more into the direction Liam hadn't wanted this to go, he didn't seem to have any control over it though.

"I'm home and I'm sick, sorry, Ni. I really wanted you to come over, but I'm probably really contagious and I don't want to infect-"

"You're sick?" The change in the boy's voice was really noticeable as he ignored what Liam was about to say, it wasn't panicked anymore but really soft actually, calming. "Did you hang up before to vomit?"

"Yeah… I woke up and I felt like shit, that's probably why I overslept my alarm too, I'm still fucking tired even now." So tired in fact, maybe he'd just fall asleep sitting up against the wall, the bathroom seemed to move a little as Liam opened his eyes, trying to focus on the conversation. 

"What else have you got? Headache? Fever?" Niall had somehow jumped into a very practical mode, as if he was Liam's mum or something, but he didn't really think about it, he felt way too bad for that.

"Yeah, I don't know, I haven't checked my temperature, I gotta go back to bed or something, I'm sure I'll be fine again once I wake up." Or maybe not, maybe he'd be dead then, but the thing was, Liam didn't really know what to do, they might have some medicine at home but he didn't know what to take or how much if he found something, in the end he'd kill himself.

"Yeah, go back to bed, but unlock the door before you sleep in, I'll be there in thirty minutes, okay?" Wait…

"Niall, I'm not kidding, I'm gonna get you sick as well and I'm not really good company right now I believe." In fact, Liam might not even be able to keep on talking like this, the only reason why he still did it was because he had been overusing his voice so much that his throat felt kinda numb now. 

"I don't expect you to be good company, but I'm not gonna leave you alone for a whole weekend when you're sick. Besides, have you even got any medicine at home or so?" This was crossing lines, Liam couldn't allow him to come here even if he really didn't wanna be alone right now actually, especially because he had planned on Niall coming over all along, and this was nice as hell, but still…

"No, I don't think so, but Niall, I really-"

"Okay, I'll get you some, I'll see you in a bit, okay? Go to bed." This time it was Niall who hung up on Liam then, leaving him groaning once he realized that there was no need to call back, if Niall had gotten something into his head, there was no way to convince him otherwise.

Somehow Liam was really happy about it though, because usually he was the one who got overprotective of Niall so the feeling of having someone taking care and worrying about him was kind of nice, he wasn't used to that, sure, if Louis and Harry would've been here then they wouldn't have just abandoned him either, but Liam had a feeling Niall would do a better job at that once he got here.

Even if that meant that he had to try and get to his feet now, which was a real challenge actually, he was just so tired he could've slept for a week. But if Niall made an effort to come over and risked getting sick for him, the least he could do was brush his teeth after that very unpleasant morning activity.

When Liam saw his face in the mirror, there was no doubt anymore that this really just wasn't some upset stomach or so, he was really pale, plus his eyes looked red and teary, overall, he just looked like complete shit and if he thought about it a little while brushing his teeth lazily, then he was embarrassed about Niall seeing him like this. 

It's not that it was his fault or anything, he didn't even know why that bugged him so much actually, Niall probably wouldn't care. Yet still, after cleaning his mouth, Liam stared at his reflection for a bit longer before deciding that it couldn't get any worse if he went and took a quick shower, so at least he would only look bad and not smell like shit as well.

Turned out that he was even weaker afterwards though, he barely managed locking up the door for Niall and changing into new clothes before half collapsing into his messed up bed without even opening up the curtains, almost deciding that he would rather freeze to death than untangle de blanket from underneath him. When he finally got himself to move then, it took him like ten minutes to finally get into a somewhat comfortable. Which was impossible anyways, because no matter how soft his bed was, he still felt as if he was on the edge of dying.

When the front door opened, Liam had kinda falling into a pretty uneasy slumber, he had woken up and fallen half asleep at least 15 times in the past 10 minutes, not very relaxing at all, but maybe it was better this way, he was rather awake when Niall came here anyways. 

It took him a few more minutes though, plus he was really thoughtful, walking quietly to Liam's half open door, he regretted not shutting it completely because darkness would've sure as hell been nice, but at least he saw Niall now as he stopped in the doorway for a second, still having his bag with him. "Hey…"

"You sound even worse in real life than on the phone." Was all Niall said and Liam tried rolling his eyes even though the younger boy could probably not see it, but it hurt too much anyways. 

"Thank you so much." There was a light chuckle before Niall moved over to the bed, not sitting down though like Liam had thought, he just put his bag on the floor before looking down at Liam for a second, suddenly starting to walk around the bed.

"Close your eyes." Whatever the purpose of this was, it didn't seem like a very good idea at all.

"Why do you want me to- Niall! Agh, shit, I didn't know you came here to kill me!" Niall had simply pulled the curtains back abruptly so the light from outside almost burned Liam's eyes, and then to top it off, he opened up the whole window, causing Liam to pull the blanket up even higher before turning onto his stomach, face pressed into the pillow. "Close it, Ni, oh god." 

"Sorry, we gotta keep it open for a while. You know, if you stay in this room and never let any fresh air in then you're never gonna get healthy, it's not good for you." With that, he seemed to move around again, Liam just groaned into the pillow, not feeling like answering at all, not even when the mattress moved next to him because of Niall sitting down, a hand coming to a rest on his lower back over the blanket. "I got you stuff, Li. You wanna turn around?"

Not at all, but Liam did it anyway, just for Niall, because he practically was his life savior right now, the light still stung and he had to blink a few times before being able to look up at Niall properly, he was smiling slightly, a little sad though, moving his hand into Liam's hair and running his fingers through. "Don't lean too close though, it'd suck if you get sick as well."

That had Niall shrugging while Liam fought hard to keep his eyes open as Niall continued to play with his hair, not very impressed by the warning. It was so nice though, to have him here and rub his scalp like this for a little while longer before pulling his arm back, almost making Liam want to complain. "Don't worry about it. You think you can sit up quickly or so?" 

While talking, he got his bag off of the ground, starting to pull stuff out that looked a lot like pills and as grateful as Liam was for this, sitting up wasn't the easiest thing to do, even if he could lean back against the wall, shivering a bit because of the window still being open and the wind hitting him right in the face. "How do you know that stuff is gonna help?"

"It will, that's what I take when I'm sick. What do you do? Just wait until it gets better?" That thought seemed to shock Niall a little, but Liam just shook his head no, he couldn't remember the last time he had felt like this.

"I don't usually get sick, I'm not even sure why it happened, maybe it was because I went running yesterday and thought it would be a good idea to take my shirt off." Yeah, that had probably been it, it had been rather cold, but it had rained before so Liam had kinda figured running completely shirtless was still better than running in a completely drenched shirt. Apparently not.

"Liam! It had like, 10 degrees yesterday, no wonder you're sick, what have you been thinking?" Niall seriously sounded mad now, personally offended almost, and Liam couldn't help but chuckle a bit, regretting it immediately because it got him into a coughing fit for a few seconds. "Here, hold the bottle and take this." 

Liam held his hand out for Niall to pop two pills into his palm out of the package, swallowing them with the water, not asking any questions, Niall seemed to know what he was doing, besides, it couldn't take any longer to get him healthy again than his original plan to not do anything about it.

"Okay, take this too, wait." Watching Niall's concentrated face while he unboxed something else made Liam smile slightly despite the fact that even that hurt, but it was so cute, the fact that Niall was so concerned about him, pouring some pink looking stuff onto a plastic spoon that apparently had been in there as well, he had really thought this through. "Open your mouth."

It seemed a bit ridiculous, because Liam wasn't too sick to move his arms, but he only hesitated for a second before allowing Niall to feed him the medicine, immediately pulling a face after swallowing it down quickly. "Tastes like rotten cheese, that's supposed to help?"

"Li, medicine almost never tastes any good, but yeah, it'll help, lie back down, okay?" He still seemed pretty worried while watching Liam, he even grabbed a hold of the blanket to pull it up higher once Liam let out a relieved sigh after settling down again, sitting had really gotten him tired. "I figured you might not have one of these either so I bought one, but anyways, you should measure your temperature too, here." 

"Niall, thank you, but you really shouldn't have bought so much, I'll pay you back if you give me my wallet, it's-"

"No way, Li, come on, you always pay for my food and besides, you didn't ask me to buy any of this. Just put it in your mouth, go on." So he gave in when Niall almost poked the thermometer through his lips, but pressing the bottom himself before letting out a quiet sigh, keeping his mouth closed as he waited. "I'll go close the window, it really is getting cold."

While Niall walked around the bed, Liam kept his eyes on him, he looked really snuggly in his hoodie, which was a bit inconvenient right now because Liam couldn't allow him to get too close to him, it was really the worst timing ever for this to happen, but he could call himself lucky for having Niall here at all and taking care of him like this, because this really was the sweetest thing ever.

Once the window was closed, Niall came back to sit on the edge of Liam's bed again, just smiling down at him for a little, not touching him before suddenly leaning down, smirking. "You know what, it's really funny that you can't open your mouth to complain about this." 

Before Liam had enough time to figure out what Niall might have been talking about, he had leaned down even further, too quickly as for Liam to react, pressing a kiss onto his cheek that caused Liam to blush embarrassingly fast. That's not what he would've expected Niall to do at all, it was irresponsible because of him being sick, but even more was it surprising, so that made it two times of Niall kissing him.

Only now, it wasn't dark and Niall also didn't turn around, only sat up straight again, having a really good sight at Liam's red cheeks compared to the rest of his almost white face. Great, he couldn't even do or say anything because he wasn't allowed to open his mouth yet.

"I figured you wouldn't allow me to hug you, so…" True that, Niall giggled a bit, carefree as ever, too amused by Liam's face obviously. He even looked down to overplay his embarrassment, really relieved when the thermometer beeped so he could take it out, not expecting Niall to be faster than him, already studying the number. "Okay, it's not too much."

The change of subject was good, at least now Liam wouldn't have to comment on the kiss, hopefully the heat would soon leave his face again, even if it didn't feel uncomfortable at all since he was freezing anyways, turning sideways now and pulling the blanket a little higher. "It feels like it though…" 

"Hey, I'm sure it'll be better soon." Niall's voice had suddenly turned even softer than before, his hand was back at touching Liam, just rubbing his shoulder though so he didn't say anything and just enjoyed the warmth. "Maybe you should sleep a little, unless you're hungry or so? Thirsty?"

"No, I'm good… well, besides everything else." Liam regretted the laugh he let out, coughing for a second, so much that his eyes got teary again, pressing his them closed afterwards because it felt better, made them less stingy somehow.

"I'm sorry that you're feeling bad, Li… but I'm pretty sure that if you try and rest a bit, you're gonna feel a lot better when you wake up again." Hopefully, it sure as hell sounded like a great idea, especially now that Liam had is eyes closed already, he felt himself slowly starting to drift off, still well aware though when Niall put his hand over Liam's, squeezing his cold fingers. 

"Thanks for being here, Niall… you really don't have to do this, you know, if you don't want to, I'd understand. And sorry for destroying our weekend." Because Liam still felt bad about that, he didn't want Niall to leave at all, but he knew that it would only get boring if all he did was sleep and moan about how sick he felt.

"It's not your fault. And anyways, I'm not gonna go anywhere at all, you need me here, trust me, you're gonna get yourself killed otherwise." Liam felt himself smiling a bit with still closed eyes, Niall was probably right, besides, he really did need him here, but for other reasons than forcing him to take medicine and putting thermometers into his mouth. 

"We'll watch a movie later, okay? I promise…" His voice had gotten heavier, he could hear it himself, not quite sure whether Niall had even caught every word because he thought he might pass out any second, hardly able to turn his hand around to slip his fingers through Niall's instead. This was much better.

"Just go to sleep, Liam." There was a fond chuckle, a squeeze around his hand, maybe even another light kiss on his cheek if he wasn't hallucinating yet, and Liam decided that he couldn't have ever made a better decision in his life than agreeing to giving Niall Horan a chance to be his friend.

 

——————————

 

It was a lot darker when Liam cracked an eye open again, yawning a bit while tightening his grip around whatever he was holding onto, it was warmer now, his head was still pounding a bit uncomfortably, but at least there was no urge at all to puke all over the toilet again.

Liam groaned a bit before moving around a little, slowly becoming aware of his surroundings again, he had definitely moved onto his other side and the pillow he was hugging had definitely gotten a bit bigger. "Hey, you awake?"

Right, wait, that wasn't his pillow, Liam attempted sitting up for a moment, rubbing at his eye with his knuckles, a little confused as he leaned onto his elbow, looking right at Niall. "What are you… wait." 

Niall was lying next to him, in his bed, half sitting up and Liam realized that it had been the boy's shirt he had been holding onto, plus he had been sleeping cuddled right into his side, so that's were the warmth had come from, it had been Niall. Who was smiling all calmly by the way, even as Liam quickly sat up altogether, shocked because the boy had gotten into his bed, not that the action itself had been weird, just because Liam was fucking _ill_. "What's wrong, are you feeling any better?"

"I guess, a little, I just… Niall, what are you doing, you know I'm probably really contagious and-"

"Come on, Li, it would be too late already anyways, besides, you seemed pretty happy about it." Yeah, because Niall was always warm and Liam had probably been seeking that in his sleep, he was sick after all. Which was the point here, but Niall didn't seem to care one bit, he put his phone away now that he had obviously been playing with before, still smiling, maybe looking a little bit sleepy as well. "You wanna eat something? It's like, seven pm, you've been asleep for pretty long."

"Did you stay here the whole time?" It slipped out, but then again, Liam didn't regret asking anyways, he was just busy rubbing his temples, relieved that the stinging pain was gone even if his throat still felt sore and he didn't feel very well overall either.

"Yeah. Well, I went to the bathroom twice if that counts and I got something to eat from the kitchen I hope that's okay. Which brings me back to the topic, I think you should have some food in you as well." Now that he mentioned it, Liam realized that he hadn't eaten the whole day long, so maybe, maybe his stomach was hurting more because he was hungry than because of sickness.

"I'm scared I'll just throw it up again though." All over Niall probably, Liam would die of embarrassment afterwards, just having to puke while he was here at all kinda made him feel anxious, Niall was nice enough to stay, he didn't want him to experience something so disgusting. 

"I got you soup and crackers before I came here, that should be alright. And you have to drink coke, trust me, I used to get sick a lot when I was younger." Niall sounded like an expect or something, he grinned at Liam as he moved to the edge of the bed before stopping, leaning over instead to unexpectedly put his palm onto Liam's forehead. "Hm, you're still pretty hot."

Just because this whole day had been shitty enough, Liam decided to crack a sleepy smile once Niall pulled his hand away again. "I've heard better pick up lines to be honest."

"Oh come on, Liam, seriously? I thought you were too sick to pull your bad jokes today." But he laughed anyways, way too loud and leaning his head back slightly because that's what he always did, Liam knew that, he had noticed a lot about this boy, his habits, the way he talked when he was about to fall asleep any second, how his voice jumped a little higher when he was excited. It was almost weird, because Liam had never intended to find any of this out yet he had, and even though they hadn't really talked about any of the stuff that had happened before they had met, Liam had a feeling that he knew Niall, the way he was, he could've talked on for hours about him, not his past or whatever, just about Niall himself and the way he had changed Liam's point of view on a lot of things without even trying.

"I'm never too sick for that." He winked at Niall, trying to keep it together as he rolled out of bed, immediately being hit by cold air as he left his blanket behind even though he was wearing long sweatpants. "Shit, it's freezing, did you open the window again?"

"Yeah, but that was two hours ago, wait." Without hesitation, Niall got up as well, going over to Liam's closet before pulling his hoodie out and throwing it to him over the bed, that's how things were now, Niall knew Liam's closet probably as good as he knew it himself. "Are you alright? You know, not dizzy or so?"

"No, I'm okay, I mean, I still feel a little shitty, but it's definitely gotten better, so thanks for the medicine and stuff. And for keeping me company at all." While talking, Liam put his hoodie on, feeling better instantly, even if it wasn't quite as warm as sleeping by Niall's side, something that Liam had actually never done before, usually it was Niall cuddling into him, not the other way around. But it seemed to kinda fit for this situation, since it wasn't Niall this time who needed to be taken care of. Not that he actually _needed_ Liam to do that in general, he just liked to take over that part.

"You're welcome, Li, I wouldn't want you to be alone here and feel bad, it'd just make me feel really bad as well." Niall was so cute, he just shrugged after this, as if it was somehow obvious, walking over to Liam and giving him a side hug before he could complain, so he gave in and wrapped his arms around Niall as well, it was too late now anyways, they had been lying in the same bed for hours. 

"Still, I'm not taking it for granted, you know." Because that really wasn't what he was used to, like pretty much any of this stuff, but it felt so nice, to have someone staying here and still being here when Liam woke up from a four hour long nap.

"It's okay. That's what friends are for after all." The way Niall said it got Liam's stomach turning into a knot, it reminded him of how wrong he had been before he had met Niall, how guilty he still felt sometimes for treating him like he had, even if he hadn't really wanted to be an asshole, but he had been anyways yet Niall was here hugging him, telling him things like this, literally doing _anything_ for Liam. And still, it was the next thing he said, actually half whispered into Liam's shirt, that got Liam's mind empty all of a sudden. "And you're pretty much my best friend, so." 

No one had ever said that to him, Liam had never ever had a best friend before, sure, he had had normal friends, but he had never been anybody's first choice, which was why it was so overwhelming that his first instinct was to freeze completely. Then about two seconds later, he felt his eyes getting a little teary, squeezing Niall harder as he pressed his face into the soft, blonde hair, not knowing what to answer, he didn't even know if he would've even been able to if he had wanted to. 

This shouldn't have happened, no doubt, but they had grown so attached to each other, there actually was no question whether Niall was Liam's best friend as well or not, because, who else would it have been?

Sure, he didn't know him half as long as any of the other three, but did that really matter? Because it was Niall only who made Liam feel so extremely happy and many more things that he hadn't even known that he was capable of feeling, who had managed to turn him from being pretty depressed about his life to actually quite enjoying even the little things now. He made Liam a better person, that's why he was so fond of him, and as an extra, Niall was the most caring and forgiving person Liam would probably ever meet, and he truly and genuinely liked Liam as well, it was almost impossible to believe that he got to have so much luck in his life for once.

Despite all of that, Liam missed the perfect time to answer when Niall let go of him slowly after a while, with a smile tugging on his lips as he lightly grabbed Liam's hand, pulling him out of the room softly. "Come on, I don't think I've ever showed you my cooking skills before." 

Which turned out to be quite good actually, because he really did end up making soup for Liam which was about the nicest thing he could've done, plus, he also got him some more medicine from his room so Liam wouldn't have to walk any more than necessary, like, he didn't even deserve any of that, but Niall made it seem as if he enjoyed doing this or something.

So later, they moved to the couch in the living room, since Liam figured that he didn't feel too sleepy and also, a change of rooms couldn't be bad either, so Niall insisted on Liam sitting down immediately once they were there, getting him some more water before scooting closer to him, covering both of them with the blanket that was still lying on the couch.

This time, Liam didn't complain about Niall getting too close, in fact, he even pulled him in with an arm around his shoulder, letting Niall curl into his side as they were half lying down, Niall's arm around Liam's stomach, it was pretty warm and snuggly. "We can still watch a movie if you want to."

"Hm… " Niall seemed to think about it, looking at Liam before shrugging, he had his feet up on the couch, leaning his cheek against Liam's shoulder. "I kinda don't want any of us to get up and put something in though, it's too comfortable like this."

"Yeah, that's true, let's just stay like this then." Liam still felt sick of course, but he felt a lot less bad whith Niall rubbing his stomach once a while, as if he didn't even notice doing it and smiling at Liam whenever he squeezed him softly with the arm he still had around the boy's shoulders.

Nobody talked for a few minutes, but it was a really nice silence, hearing Niall breathing and feeling him against him had become one of Liam's favorite things that he wasn't even scared of admitting, he would've loved to lean forward just a few centimeters and kiss Niall's forehead, but he didn't do it in the end, trying to excuse it by telling himself that he just didn't wanna get him sick as well. Truth was, he was a bit nervous about this, even if he knew Niall would probably like it, simply because he liked everything that involved touching, but still.

"Hey, Li… you know what I wanted to ask you for a long time? How'd you meet Harry and Louis?" Usually, they never talked about stuff like this, but it felt fine somehow, it wasn't getting too close to dangerous topics or anything, besides, Niall seemed to just ask out of curiosity, his head still snuggled in the crook of Liam's shoulder.

"Well, I met Harry in my junior year in high school and we became friends. He introduced me to Louis, they've been dating since they were 14 or 15, but Louis went to a different school not far from ours." Which left out a lot of the story, but it was still the truth anyways.

"So why'd you move in with them? I mean… I'm just curious, you don't have to tell me." The problem was though, Niall asked so innocently that Liam couldn't resist him whenever he asked something, it's not like any of this was a secret anyways, but they were getting closer to things that in fact Liam had sworn himself he'd never say out loud again. 

"Well… first of all, I wouldn't have had any money to live in a dorm and they knew that, and they're kinda… my only friends, besides, this is Harry's stepdad's flat and we don't have to pay or anything so that's really nice of him. Plus, I don't think they mind having me here, it's more them who manage to annoy me with… stuff, if you know what I mean." Niall probably did because he chuckled a little, or maybe it was because Liam had absently started playing with his soft hair, not wanting to stop anymore, it was so nice to run his fingers through, why hadn't he tried that earlier?

"So then… do you go home a lot to see your family?" Right, and this was the moment where Liam tried really hard to not tense up too obviously, after all, Niall couldn't have known how sensitive that topic was since they had never brought it up before. It had been bound to happen at one point probably.

So Liam kept on playing with Niall's hair, feeling a little better when he felt the hand rubbing over his stomach slightly, still, he wasn't ready to just talk about the whole story, not that he never planned on telling Niall, because he felt like he had to. Just so that he knew it, in case that… he might decide he didn't wanna be Liam's best friend anymore afterwards. "Well… I actually never go home to see… them."

"Oh… I'm sorry if you don't wanna talk about it, I mean… I just asked because you never talk about that stuff." Niall snuggled a little bit closer and Liam used the chance to rest his cheek against the boy's head, kinda glad that they weren't looking at each other while talking about this, in fact, he just let his eyes fall closed.

"You don't either…" Liam mumbled after a while, there had been a lot of times when he had felt like asking Niall about his family, all that stuff, but he never had, out of respect, because how could he expect Niall to say anything about it if he didn't wanna talk about it either?

They fell into silence again after that, Liam wrapped his second arm around Niall as well, pulling him as close as possible, which wasn't very hard because he was almost half on top of him anyways. Good thing that Liam didn't feel like he'd have to vomit again or Niall's elbow slightly pressing into his elbow would've put an end to this conversation instantly. Maybe that would've been better actually, because Niall was only whispering as he suddenly broke the silence, causing Liam's eyes to shoot open immediately. "They're dead. My real parents I mean, they died in a car crash when I wasn't even one year old, I wasn't with them though, or I would've been killed as well. I had no relatives left who'd be able to look after me I believe, so they put me in a foster home, but only very shortly because I can't remember it. Some family adopted me almost immediately, they never even told me I was adopted and I was with them until I turned eight …"

He released a shaky breath, but Liam didn't dare doing or saying anything except for holding Niall even tighter, he couldn't believe this, he felt so sorry for that boy, no one in the world deserved this, but especially not someone as sweet and kind as him. For a few seconds, he didn't talk, obviously trying to calm down, clinging to Liam's shirt.

"They got social workers checking up with families who adopt kids, and then one time, this woman showed up and she … she wanted to talk alone with me. I was really scared, she asked all those questions and she told me how my teachers had reported some stuff… I wasn't supposed to tell her, I thought it was a secret, you know, but eventually I sensed my chance to get away from this place, so I told her, everything." There was a dark suspicion growing in Liam, but he stayed quiet, not wanting to interrupt, or blurting something out that would only get Niall more nervous as he already seemed to be, his words already came out shaky and quiet anyways, but he almost choked then as he continued. "They had abused me for years, you know like… not only punching, I… I actually preferred just getting hurt like this, but… you know, like, a lot worse stuff, um… taking my clothes off and touching, yeah, I'm gonna spare you that. I know why my teachers noticed eventually, because after this went on for a few years, I had gotten really quiet, I never wanted to talk to the other kids, and when anybody touched me, or just brushed me, I would start screaming and in gym when we he had to get changed, I always started crying when asked to take my clothes off and put my sports clothes on. You know, because I… I thought the same thing as home would happen."

Liam couldn't believe it, this was even worse that he had thought, getting beaten up at home was bad, but Niall had been sexually abused, by his fucking adoptive family, it got Liam so angry, he felt like punching the guts out of those people, whoever they may be. It was incredibly hard not to squeeze Niall too tightly now, but he forgot about embarrassment or whatever, pressing his lips to the top of Niall's head, hoping that it maybe helped a little. 

"Well, anyways, they took me away of course, I never found out what happened to those people, I hope they were put in jail. But they did tell them that those hadn't been my real parents, and I was so, so, relieved to hear that, you know, because as a child I felt really bad hating my parents, and I tried to tell myself that I didn't, and then finally I could, it was such a relief. Other than that, everything else pretty much sucked though, I was in a foster home for a while, a year maybe, they sent me to a therapist and into a public school, but I never spoke a word in class. 

"So eventually, they tried putting me into another family then, one where the mum taught her two kids at home, and since I was so shy and scared because of everything that had happened, this seemed to be a good solution. I mean, I still didn't really like talking and touching, but it got better, I stayed with them until I was almost 15. The only problem was, I didn't get along with my adoptive brother, never had actually, he hated my guts and I knew it, yet he never did anything until this one day where our 'mum' told me that I was doing so good with school, I might even be able to graduate soon and that she was proud of me. So that's when he snapped apparently, for taking his attention or whatever the reason was, but he completely freaking lost it and punched me when it was only us at home. 

"Like, I don't think he really wanted to hurt me as badly as he did, but he knocked me out, put me into hospital. And he was only 13, like I don't even know what consequences this had for him, but everyone decided it would be better for me if I didn't stay there. So I got asked this time what I wanted, because I was already 15 then, and I just didn't wanna live at a foster home really, I mean, I had had bad luck with my first family, but the second one had been nice except for… that incident. So they put me into the family I'm in now, I went to senior year in high school because they didn't wanna hire a private teacher for only one year and stuff, but it all went fine anyways. And they're nice, you know, they're both working at the hospital as doctor's, so they're hardly at home, and I've got an adoptive brother as well, but he's twenty already, like you, and he's studying on the other side of the country so I haven't seen him too often. And that's all, the whole story." And hell, that was really enough.

There were a billion questions on Liam's mind, but the one thing he couldn't help asking himself over and over again was that, how come Niall was like this, with such a past?! How come he was so nice and open and talking to everybody? All those hugs he always gave Liam, holding his hand, cuddling up to him, _kissing_ his cheek? Niall was a miracle, truly, Liam would've understood if he would have isolated himself, never talked to anybody and jumped away from any touch. But he was the complete opposite, he was the happiest and most carefree guy Liam had ever met, so HOW? "Ni, I… I'm sorry, I really am, I know that's not changing anything or making it better, but I am so sorry. You didn't deserve this, any of it, but you can be so proud of yourself, I mean it… just look at you, it's like, none of this has affected you in any bad way, hell, you're probably the most cheerful person I have met, and the nicest and most forgiving as well, just… I would have never ever expected something like this, I'm so sorry for saying this before, I didn't want you to feel like you had to tell me."

"It's okay, Liam… I wouldn't have if I hadn't wanted to. I never told anybody, you know, but I wanted to tell you." Liam still had his head resting against Niall's, lifting it when he felt Niall wanting to do the same so they could look at each other. Somehow his eyes still felt a little teary, but Niall didn't seem to be nervous anymore or as if he might start crying like before, maybe there was even the hint of a smile playing around his lips. "And thanks for what you said, you know… about that I can be proud of myself."

"I really meant that, Ni." Just because Liam felt really emotional and still quite shocked, he leaned forward a little to press his lips against Niall's forehead shortly, he had never done this but it seemed pretty appropriate suddenly. 

"Thank you… I guess I'm just trying to, you know, not let it ruin my life. I mean, it really got to me and I used to not wanting to talk to people, but it's okay now, I'm fine. I mean, I was scared about going to a normal school and then go to university but it's all gone pretty well I think." Then he shrugged a little before smiling slightly, something that Liam couldn't return because he simply felt too bad. If he had known, from the beginning, he wouldn't have acted like such a douche, he seriously had been giving this boy a hard time when all he had wanted was to adjust to this after everything he had had to go through. Knowing that was maybe the worst part. "And I even managed to find friends."

Not the best, though that's not what Liam said, because Niall was still smiling at him while he just stared, feeling guiltier than he maybe ever had in his life, compared to Niall, he really was a whiny bitch, and weak as hell, for letting his past define him so much while Niall was out there being put through hell and still being as amazing as he was. How was that any fair? "Niall, I…"

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything, it's all happened a while ago anyways, I just felt like I should tell you." Why was it that now Liam felt like he could talk about his own family even less? It kinda was that somehow he felt embarrassed, because it wasn't half as bad as Niall's, but also, he just couldn't bring himself to do it for some reason, not now after hearing all of this, it wouldn't be a very good timing at all, besides, it'd just make it even clearer that Niall would've deserved a lot better friend than Liam could ever be. 

So he decided not to say anything at all, just running his fingers through Niall's hair until the younger boy put his head back onto his shoulder, curling more into his side once more just as Liam whispered, the one thing that seemed to be appropriate enough. "You're gonna have a family one day, Ni, I promise."

Even though Niall had told him that he was happy with where he lived now, it had still kinda sounded as if it wasn't the perfect spot to be, besides, he wouldn't stay there for a very long time and it was only logical to Liam that someone as sweet as Niall would find someone who'd make him happy, like, he really deserved it. Despite the fact that Liam hadn't said anything at all except for the fact that he never went to see his family, Niall still lifted his head once more, smiling weakly before unexpectedly kissing Liam's cheek. "You too, Liam." 

And he said it just like this, as if he somehow _knew_ , causing Liam's throat to feel a little bit tight, forgetting to answer or to hold on tightly enough for Niall not to slip out of his grip as the blonde boy suddenly attempted to get up. "What are you doing?"

"I'll go and get you some medicine because I think you should take it again. And then I'll put a movie in, okay?" Before Liam could lie and say that he felt all healthy again just so Niall could stay here, he was already on his feet, throwing one of his crooked smiles at Liam before disappearing out of the room. 

Liam didn't deserve this, he couldn't believe how perfect Niall actually was, he was such a good person and it made no sense for him to stick around with Liam, none at all. It's not that he would start complaining about it, it's just something Liam was very aware of, he desperately wished he could tell Niall all of this, but he knew that boy would just tell him that he was wrong because he was that kind. So there really was only one thing for Liam to do, try harder, a lot harder, so he wouldn't feel so guilty anymore and maybe become a little more like the best friend Niall would've deserved to have.

After all of today's escapades, it still ended very nice, Liam wasn't too tired after his four hour nap, so he settled for holding Niall close instead as they watched the movie, looking more at the other boy than the screen though as he slowly started drifting off within the first half an hour.

They were lying on the couch, both on their sides and Niall in front of Liam with his back pressed against his chest because of Liam having his arm around the boy's waist, keeping him close, having a pretty good sight at Niall whenever he leaned onto his elbow, staring down at him after he had fallen asleep.

He didn't even feel bad about this anymore, mindlessly watching Niall when he wasn't aware of it, it never failed to warm Liam's heart seeing this, hearing him make those tiny noises he sometimes did when he was dreaming, it was the most adorable thing to ever happen.

Maybe that's why Liam got a little carried away, or it were all those emotions from before still being very present, but he leaned down to kiss Niall's temple once more, silently asking himself why he had needed so long to figure out how much he loved doing this. "You're my best friend as well, Niall."

 

—————————

 

The whole saturday long, Niall wouldn't allow Liam to get up any other time than to go to the bathroom, he really was very serious about this, even though Liam felt a lot better already, Niall still insisted on doing almost everything, he even forbade him to eat normal food, so Liam listened, because well, this boy seemed to seriously know what he was doing. Besides that though… yeah, Liam liked it a lot, the fact that somebody cared this much about his health.

Whatever they had talked about friday night though, none of them brought it up again, even if it had gotten stuck on Liam's mind and the fact that he was very happy that Niall had decided to tell him something so private, this topic was never gonna move up on his favorite's scale.

Since Niall had so many good arguments, Liam agreed to washing his bedclothes because he'd get sick again if he slept in it or something, or actually, Niall was the one who washed it, all Liam contributed to that was showing him how the washing machine worked, feeling pretty bad for letting Niall do it on his own ,but then again, he had insisted on Liam staying back. They were so domestic that day, it was almost ridiculous. 

Louis and Harry came home on sunday evening, when Liam felt pretty good again, plus he was also _allowed_ to eat normal stuff again, which maybe came from the fact that Niall seemed to be craving pizza, yet of course, he didn't wanna order any. 

So that's what the other two walked in, Niall and Liam sitting on the floor of the living room with their backs against the couch, and Niall's leg in between Liam's because of a reason that he had long forgotten. They had attempted studying AND eating pizza for a while, which had turned out to be a bigger problem than they had thought, mostly because Niall got every single page dirty with his fingers, so when Liam had complained playfully, Niall had laughed so hard that he had spat half the content of his mouth all over the two most important pages in Liam's book. So that had been a clear enough sign for them to give up on attempting to be productive, a little bit also because Niall claimed he had some funny videos on his phone, that turned out to be not only half as amusing as Liam had thought yet he still couldn't help laughing because of the younger boy cracking up every five seconds. God, he was so cute. 

"Hey, we're back, is anybody home?" It was pretty unnecessary for Louis to yell through the flat, he literally had to only take half a step to the left to see Niall and Liam, but as he did, he started smirking even wider than he already had. "You guys not having cabin fever yet?"

"Cabin fever no, but normal fever yes." While saying this, Niall got a very thoughtful expression on his face, unexpectedly pressing his palm up against Liam's forehead before smiling. "I take it back, we got neither."

"You sure as hell got something though, what the hell are you talking about, Niall?" Louis seemed pretty confused now which made Liam laugh, he didn't really care anymore whatever his two flatmates saw or heard, whatever jokes they made, what did it matter anyways?

"I've been sick on friday and yesterday." Liam shrugged, not really minding Niall leaning into his side, giggling over nothing at all, or maybe it was Louis' face that got him amused, he had pulled an eyebrow up, apparently surprised.

"And Niall still stayed with you? God, how'd he stand that, you're always a pain in the ass when you're ill." Which he actually couldn't even know at all because it had maybe happened only one time, he was chuckling anyways, as if it was a joke, yet still, Niall didn't seem to like that comment either ways.

"No, he's not, Lou! That's really mean, be quiet." Then, as if it was normal by now (maybe it was because Liam didn't even flinch), he turned his head to kiss Liam's cheek, as if to comfort him in case Louis' words had gotten him upset. Liam knew that he was still blushing a tiny bit despite the amount of times this had happened, it was just the first time someone else saw it and damn, Louis' eyes almost popped out right there.

"Did you just-"

"Alright, guys, enough of this, I think we got more important stuff to discuss." Right, Harry was here as well of course, just, he had stayed by the door doing whatever until now as he came into the living room, not taking any notice of his boyfriend's still very shocked face, he seemed happier than Liam had maybe ever seen him. "Look at this."

That's when Liam remembered that this weekend actually hadn't meant lying around with Niall half on top of them for everyone, some people had also gotten engaged, how very boring. Not for Niall apparently, he nearly climbed into Liam's lap as Harry sat down next to him, showing them his hand. "I told Louis to take the- I mean… that's so pretty."

Liam almost bursted out laughing when Niall just blurted out with the truth while staring at Harry's ring finger, immediately covering his mouth with his hand as he realized what he had been about to say, eyes going wide as he stared at Harry, almost in apology, but the other boy just rolled his eyes anyways. "He told me the whole story anyways, calm down."

"I just told him because I _knew_ that none of you two would be able to keep their mouth shut." Which was more than true, Niall had just proven that he wasn't so good at keeping things like this and Liam, well, he would've used any chance possible to pay Louis back for whatever joke he'd pull next, too bad actually, now he couldn't do that. 

"Well, I guess you gotta thank someone then." As Liam cleared his throat very obviously, Niall was the only one who giggled, he still had his leg over Liam's, and now he was also leaning his elbow against his stomach, so Liam felt it was alright to wrap an arm around his waist, seeing as they were this close already. 

"I would've proposed anyways, Liam, I was just waiting for the right moment, don't think so highly of yourself." Louis seemed as if he had changed his mind about thanking Liam like he had a few days ago, he actually left the room now, to get their bags or something, Liam's attention was more focused on the blonde boy having found a new pillow in him as it seemed. 

"So anyways, are you gonna tell us the story? How he proposed I mean." Niall seemed really excited again, he stared at Harry, waiting for him to start while Liam knew exactly why Harry hadn't said anything yet, he was probably busy trying to figure out why Liam was suddenly alright with getting touched this much.

"Well…" Harry finally started, pausing for a moment before he started grinning down at Niall, in a fond way though, as if you're looking at your little brother, he talked like it too. "I don't think that's appropriate for you, you're not even legal."

"Hey! You didn't have a problem showing me people getting brutally murdered a week ago either." It sounded as if he was pouting, which was the cutest thing ever, so Liam didn't say anything, he just smiled to himself, continuing to rub Niall's back slowly without noticing. 

"You know, the proposal involved a lot less blood but some other liquids and I think I want you to keep your innocent a little bit longer." His laugh was very loud, maybe because Liam threw the most disgusted look at him that he could possibly bring himself to, but hell, what was wrong with his friends?! A lot apparently, because to top it off, Harry reached out, still chuckling as he ruffled Niall's hair just like that, something that got Liam a lot more worked up than getting too much information on his friends' sex life. 

So maybe that's why he just acted without really thinking it through at all, just using his free hand that wasn't on the small of Niall's back to pull Harry's hand away like a second after he had touched the blonde's hair, of course getting a look for that as Harry backed away, snorting.

"Jesus, Liam, so possessive already. What've you guys been doing here the whole weekend anyways? Except for Niall playing nurse, because that's the only way I can explain why we suddenly got medicine." He nodded over to the couch table, Liam didn't have to check to know that all the stuff was on there, besides, Harry was right, that's actually exactly all they had been doing. Well, and lying around a lot, talking … and cuddling. Plus Liam had been thinking a lot too, about everything really, and about how things were going to turn out if he kept this up, but usually, that was the point where he stopped himself from over analyzing the situation, it had never done him any good to do that, his new plan was to not plan anything at all.

"Nothing exciting really, I felt like shit most of the time, so." Actually only on friday, but Liam didn't feel like giving Harry any chance to start cracking jokes again, because he sure as hell would do that anyways once Niall was gone. Speaking of which… "Ni, when do you have to be home again?"

"Hm…" Niall took his time to answer, he head on Liam's shoulder now, leaning into him with most of his weight, not very excited about that question since he sighed a little, reaching around to grab his phone. "Well, I gotta be there for dinner."

Liam just nodded, feeling slightly sad already about that, he had gotten used to Niall being around in only two days, well actually, he had gotten used to it since a whole while ago already, which was remarkable really, he had never been that kinda person. "Okay, I'll ask Louis if he borrows me the car in a bit."

"Okay. Better not leave too late though or I'm gonna have to unload the dishwasher again." He rolled his eyes, making Liam chuckle a little, rubbing small circles into the small of Niall's back, no matter how many times he told himself that he was doing this automatically, he actually did it because he liked the fact that he finally was brave enough to.

"Are your parents that strict? You're in university already, that's weird." Harry threw in just as Niall started moving, supporting himself by holding onto Liam's shoulder as he got onto his feet, taking unnecessarily long.

"They're not my parents, I'm adopted." It just came out like that, Liam was a tad surprised as he looked up at Niall, but the younger boy just shrugged, as if he didn't care about it any longer. "I'll go to the bathroom real quick."

As soon as he was around the corner, because Liam had watched him all the way, he got aware of someone else staring from him, almost jumping a little bit because of how intense Harry's glare was. "What's up with you?"

"He's adopted? Did you know about that?" Oh, so that's what this confused face was about, right, he had never even considered telling anybody about this even though he had known it for a while, even before they had gotten this close, so now he would definitely not say a word about this. 

"Yeah, I know a lot of stuff that you don't." Then Liam shrugged, as if it wasn't a big deal, somehow feeling a little proud because of Niall trusting him this much, maybe it had also come out like this because Harry just rolled his eyes before getting serious again.

"Does that mean you… told him?" The change of mood was almost graspable, but Liam acted like it didn't bother him at all, he just shook his head slowly, looking away from Harry, trying to come up with an excuse to leave. "Well, either way, who would've thought that? You guys are perfect for each other."

"Yeah, right, Harry." Blush creeped into Liam's face, he quickly pretended to be scratching his cheek while moving to get back up as well, he couldn't keep on having this conversation, what if Niall walked in on them and heard whatever sick things went through Harry's mind?

"I'm serious, though. But it's fine if you wanna keep on denying it, you also used to tell me that you hate him and he just almost sat on your lap after kissing your cheek." Harry was so right that Liam felt his face burning up with every second passing, he was up on his feet now, not caring anymore about what it looked like if he just ran away mid sentence. 

"It's none of your business anyways." With those words, he left his friend on the floor, trying to calm down and not overthink, he knew what it looked like when he and Niall did stuff like this, it would also be a lie to say that he didn't know where all of this was coming from, the only question was, should he let this carry on? Liam wasn't really sure if he had a choice anymore. "Hey, Louis, can I borrow your car to drive Niall home?"

Louis was in the kitchen doing whatever, maybe he found it inspiring to go through an almost empty fridge. "Yeah, the keys are by the door, just… do me a favor and put some gas in it, it's almost empty 'cos of the drive."

"Right, thanks, I-" Before he got finish, Liam almost jumped into the counter out of shock of having two arms wrap around his stomach from behind, goosebumps rising on his arms as Niall's chuckled hotly against his back and through his shirt, holding on rather tightly. "God, Niall, you almost gave me a stroke!"

"Oops. Sorry, Li." Didn't sound like he was very sorry at all, but it was fine, Liam had calmed down again like a second later, quite enjoying the hug now, or he would've, if it hadn't been for Louis pulling his eyebrows up before simply leaving them standing in the kitchen. 

"It's okay, I'm still alive. Come on, I'll drive you home, okay?" Now that they were alone, Liam didn't have a problem anymore stroking Niall's arm for a second before gently grabbing his wrists and trying to untie them from around himself, having a really hard time doing so, because Niall just continued holding on, laughing softly. "Are you ever gonna let me go again?"

"I know that you like it." Hell, Liam did like it, the younger boy's warm body pressed up right against his, even if right after saying it, Niall let in fact go, turning his wrist then so he could capture one of Liam's hands in his, a smile on his face that was impossible not to return. "I still gotta pack all of my stuff though."

"Well, let's go then, I don't want you to get all exhausted from having to unload a dishwasher." Liam laughed fondly as Niall pouted, still holding his hand though, not even attempting to pull it away anytime soon. Good.

"I did your washing yesterday, Liam, watch what you're saying." It was just joking, but true anyways, something Liam had been very grateful for, so instead of apologizing, he pulled Niall in, very shortly kissing his forehead because he couldn't control himself anymore. No one would've been able to if they had been in his situation, not with having somebody like Niall around being all cute and cuddles the whole day long. Kissing Niall's face was still something Liam would've never thought he'd ever do, but seeing as things were now, everything that had happened, it somehow didn't even surprise him that much anymore. That boy sure as hell had changed him a lot in some ways, and in such a short time as well.

Collecting Niall's stuff took ages, or maybe even longer, but when they finally managed to get into the car, it was quite dark and cold outside already and Niall didn't fail to tell Liam three times to turn on the heating so he wouldn't get sick again. How come he never got tired of being so very thoughtful?

"What do you think did actually happen when Louis proposed?" A good question that Liam wasn't sure if he wanted to get an answer to, he threw a short look over at Niall while driving, smiling when he saw the boy toying around with the strings of his hoodie as if it was a serious job to do.

"I don't know. They were probably naked and had sex three times afterwards, I really have no idea, I doubt they'll ever tell us either. I'm even scared to think about what they might be doing right at this second." That fear didn't come from nowhere, because as soon as Niall and Liam had disappeared into his room to pack Niall's stuff, there had been some very obvious laughters coming through the wall. "It stops being funny after one year."

"I can imagine that… but they're still a very good couple, I've never thought that anybody who starts dating in high school really gets married." Niall's voice had changed a little, as if he was deep in thoughts, but Liam didn't dare checking for his face anymore, he had to pay attention after all.

"Well, yeah, they're best friends too and they hardly ever fight, I guess they got like the ultimate relationship or so." Something that Liam was painfully aware of at times, because it had always left him as the third wheel no matter what, even though it had gotten better now, he had Niall after all, but he wouldn't have been able to tell him that without blushing so hard that Niall would be able to tell even in complete darkness.

"I wanna have that sometime. Don't you do as well?" A bad topic, especially when it was with Niall, so Liam just shrugged, seeing the boy's smile from the corner of his eyes. "I bet you'd be a great boyfriend."

What?! Liam almost choked but pretended to be having a coughing fit since they were stopped at a red light anyways, Niall immediately asking whether he was alright, even patting his back softly. "I-I'm fine, I just… um… I don't think I would be, I…"

"Sure, you would be, don't put yourself down, Li." How could he have not though, talking about this was maybe even worse than saying anything about his family situation, but Niall had been honest two nights ago, maybe Liam needed to stop being such a mystery, he cleared his throat a little, trying to ignore that Niall's hand was still in the back of his neck. 

"I really, um, wouldn't be. I mean I haven't been in the past either, or so … I've been told. Well, she was right anyways, I was a horrible boyfriend actually…" Not only that, but a horrible friend as well, horrible person more like, his throat felt pretty tight now, he'd hate himself forever if he'd start tearing up now, when it wasn't even him who should've felt like crying thinking about it.

"How long ago was that?" Niall seemed to sense that this was getting to him because he talked more quietly now, brushing his thumb over the back of Liam's neck tenderly. 

"Um, when I was 16." That had been his only and last real relationship, like one that involved more than just holding hands and shit, he had done that too when he had been a kid, but this one had been very, very different. 

"See? That's 4 years in the past, Li, you don't have to think about it anymore. I don't know what happened and you don't have to tell me, but I'm pretty sure that the Liam I know would be a good boyfriend." It sounded so easy out of his mouth, as if he genuinely believed into what he was saying, making Liam tear up for real, he didn't deserve such a sweet friend at all.

"I… I've been pretty horrible to you as well…and that's only been a few weeks ago…" Out of every person in this city, Niall was probably the one he had treated the most poorly, yet he was the one trying to comfort him and telling him that he thought about Liam as a good person, how fucked up was that?

"I know you didn't mean it, plus if you really were as horrible as you said you wouldn't have apologized to me, would you? Besides, I never took it seriously anyways, and I really like you the way you are now." So he had been right, all those mean things he had said, they had mostly just gone past Niall, but how had he managed that? Or for what purpose more like. 

"Thanks, Ni… I'm really glad you were so persistent, you know." Liam laughed softly, reaching back behind him to grab Niall's hand instead, hesitating for a moment before shrugging internally and bringing it to his lips to kiss the back of his fingers. 

"You're welcome." Niall sounded pretty happy actually, he turned his hand to intertwine their fingers, pulling Liam's over into his lap. 

"I've been wanting to ask you this for so long, but… why did you actually do this? You know, with me, out of everyone?" It was true, Liam had lied awake at night sometimes trying to figure this out, but he had never come to a conclusion.

The answer didn't come immediately, Niall just kept on holding his hand, warming it up before covering it with his second one as well. "I don't know. I've seen you in our philosophy lectures, that you always kept to yourself, sometimes in the hallways too, I've never seen you talking to anybody. And then when I found out you're friends with Louis, I kinda figured that you couldn't be too bad, you know. And when you were annoyed with me at the library yet you still helped me. And then when you fixed my laptop because Louis asked you to, you're a pretty good friend to him and Harry, they've always said that as well. I just wanted to know what you're _really_ like, and why you never talked to anybody and kept to yourself, I thought maybe… maybe you could need somebody. Which was pretty convenient actually, because, um… I really needed somebody too."

Oh. That's not what Liam had expected at all, actually, he hadn't expected anything, but to hear that Niall had been feeling SORRY for him… that was very surprising, why would he? Liam had been a fucking asshole, the last thing he had looked for was empathy. But then he looked over and met Niall's eyes, felt the warmth around his hand and then he realized that that simply was Niall, he'd always be kind to everybody, despite all of the bad things that had happened to him, he still was the best person that existed in this whole entire world. And somehow Liam had ended up lucky enough to have met him. "I… I'm really happy to have you in my life, you know…"

That was the most appropriate thing Liam could think of, and it wasn't long enough for him to choke on either because he had gotten pretty emotional because of before, keeping his eyes straight on the street. "I'm really happy too, Li."

Niall had only whispered almost, they were like two minutes away from his house now, but he was still clinging to Liam's hand tightly, not even letting go immediately as soon as the car stopped and Liam tried his hardest to get over the fact that the last thing he wanted right now was for Niall to get outside. 

"Well… I guess I should go, there's five minutes left for dinner." The chuckle was quiet as Niall pulled his hands away slowly, the loss stinging a little bit and Liam turned his head to finally look at the younger boy again, he had not made the slightest attempt to even open the door yet.

"Hey… come here." Within two seconds, Niall had already wrapped his arms around Liam's neck tightly, clinging to him as he hugged him back around his small waist, keeping him as close as possible for the last few minutes. God, why was this so hard, they'd see each other tomorrow anyways. "Thank you so much for staying with me, I really needed you there and it means a lot to me."

"Stop thanking me already, Li, you know I didn't mind at all." He chuckled against the bare skin of Liam's neck, nuzzling his face there afterwards and causing Liam to let his eyes fall closed despite the uncomfortable position this hug had gotten them into, over two car seats.

"I'm still thankful though, Nialler." The nickname slipped out, Liam didn't even know why he had come up with that, but he kinda liked it, besides, it made Niall laugh.

"Nialler? You gotten sick of 'Ni' already?" His breath tickled a little and Liam couldn't help but smile, lightly kissing the side of Niall's head, breathing in his by now familiar scent. 

"I just like to have more options. Unless you don't want me calling you that then-"

"No, I really like it, you can call me anything really, I never used to have nicknames." Aw, it was so cute how Niall hurried to get this out, as if he was really scared Liam would never call him any of that again, he felt pretty proud of himself now, for being the only one to that didn't just simply call Niall by his name. 

"Well, you do now, thanks to me being so creative." Actually not at all, Liam just laughed a bit before attempting to pull away, he'd have to do it at some point, it'd hurt even if they waited for any longer. 

Niall complied, he did lean back until they could look at each other again, but he didn't move his arms away from around Liam's neck which got them pretty close, so Liam held onto the boy's hips, looking into his eyes, a little bit confused as to why Niall didn't say anything or move.

Then he leaned in, and for a moment, Liam's heart almost stopped as he felt Niall's breath against his face, already thinking that he was going to seriously _kiss_ him on the lips now but then… Niall barely brushed the corner of Liam's mouth, on full purpose. And Liam froze immediately, blood streaming into his face at the remaining memory of how soft Niall's lips had been… how much he wondered how they'd feel against his own. 

"Goodnight, Li. Text me when you're home." With that, and a last crooked smile, Niall let go, took his bag from where it was lying by his feet and got out of the car and into the coldness, leaving Liam staring after him while dumbly having his finger pressed against the spot where Niall's mouth had been seconds ago.

He was so fucked.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more fluff for you guys! But don't worry, the next chapter is more exciting :D

That almost kiss was stuck on Liam's mind for his whole drive home, he even almost got the wrong thing at the gas station because he was stuck so deeply in thoughts, trying to figure out how to feel.

Seriously though, where did Niall take all that courage from? Even IF Liam had ever felt the urge to kiss Niall (because maybe he had a tiny little bit, only once), he would've never dared doing anything about it, or telling anybody, or worse, kissing the corner of Niall's mouth. And what did that mean anyways?

Hell, he didn't even know if Niall liked him… like that. Because it was even hard to believe that he liked Liam at all, which he did apparently, but that was no solution to the problem.

Considering Niall really liked him, and that ridiculous thought actually had Liam laughing while paying for the gas and making about ten people stare at him in confusion, what was he about to do about it? Or better, because Niall would probably do something about it _himself_ if that was the case, should Liam just go with it?

He had told himself no more relationship or any stuff of that kind, he had sworn it to himself actually, so who was he to think about simply forgetting about that because of some boy that he hadn't even known for two months yet?

Well… the problem was, Liam knew a lot of reasons why. Because maybe, Niall was the most beautiful person he had ever seen in his whole entire life. Because he could make Liam laugh harder than anybody else, cheer him up no matter what was going on and he cared about him too, a lot considering last weekend. Plus the very best thing, he seemed to seriously like Liam for who he was, which was a little bit questionable, but… Liam was pretty sure that it was true.

And the very worst thing was, it all felt so natural, Liam didn't even know the exact moment when he had started caring for that boy as well, when he had first felt the urge to pull him into hugs, always have him as close as possible and protect him at whatever cost, it all had just appeared suddenly as if he had always felt this way. He hadn't even noticed falling for Niall. 

So that's where Liam had his realization, at a gas station in the middle of the night, only making himself drive home then because the guy in the car behind him almost lost his voice while insulting him so loudly about not making any space. 

Why did everything have to be so fucking hard after being so nice for only a few weeks?

 

——————

 

The next morning, Liam didn't feel like his mind had cleared in any way, but he stuffed it all into the back of his head for now as he hurried to be on time, thinking that maybe he would magically find a solution the moment he saw Niall's face popping up like it usually did.

Just not today.

In fact, Liam didn't see the boy for so long that he started to worry, it felt usual by now to do that, immediately jumping to a hundred conclusions about what could've happened, like murder, kidnapping, accident, all that gross stuff that left Liam uneasy enough that he couldn't pay attention to anything anymore.

Clearly aware that this was slowly taking over his life, he still took his phone out then when he had finally time to do it, almost expecting the worst, which would've been Niall not picking up, and preparing to call the police or something, almost about to hang up again and curse everybody walking by when Niall picked up the phone last second. "Li…?"

All the worries fell off of him immediately, well, almost all of them because even though he could at least be certain that Niall was alive, he didn't sound very cheerful or excited. "Hey, I just… wondered if you're alright, haven't seen you all day."

There was a cough and that's when Liam got it, shit, he had actually managed to infect Niall, well it wasn't that surprising, not at all to be honest. "I'm sorry… I woke up today and I felt like shit so I went back to bed and I forgot to text you, sorry, Liam, really."

"No, don't be sorry, Nialler, I am, for getting you sick. Do you have everything you need, though? Are you in bed? Everything fine?" Now Liam knew what Niall had felt like on friday, it was almost unbearable, to listen to Niall sounding so weak and tired, always sniffling quietly in the background, he just wanted to go there and hold him until he was alright again. Actually… "You want me to come over and keep you company, I can-"

"No, stay there, I know you still got a few lectures. I'm fine, I promise, besides, if you come here then maybe I'll be the one to infect you _again_ and then we just keep passing it back and forth." His attempt at laughing ended in a groan that pained Liam deep inside by just listening, he felt so restless and guilty now, he couldn't possibly not see Niall for a few days, or leave him alone when he was sick because he had refused to leave Liam by himself in the exact same situation. 

"I'm not gonna get it twice, I never get sick, I told you before, it was just because I went a bit too extreme by running around shirtless. And I only got one class left anyways, it's not important, I thought of skipping it either way." A tiny lie wouldn't hurt now, but it was true, it was Liam's least important class, it wasn't like he was gonna fail or anything, besides, and that was something he couldn't exactly tell Niall, there was no way he'd even remember one word from this lecture. 

"You don't have to come just because I spent the weekend with you, Li, really, it's okay, I wanted to stay with you, there's no need to feel guilty or-"

"I wanna stay with you too, and yeah I'm feeling guilty, but that doesn't change the fact that I wanna be there for you." Was that so hard to understand? Maybe because Liam was always the one who showed less affection, something he needed to change if he thought back to friday night, where he had been determined to be more like the friend someone as perfect as Niall would deserve. And he really did mean a lot to Liam, he was just really bad at letting Niall know. "Unless you really don't want me to of course."

There was a little bit of silence, Niall coughed another time, quietly as if he tried to suppress it, then he sighed slightly. "I do want you to, I just don't want you to miss anything, you already weren't there on friday." 

That tiny hint of agreeing was enough for Liam to head for the exit, he really couldn't have cared less right now, he hadn't seen Niall in what felt like forever. "I'll be there in thirty minutes." 

"Alright…" Niall sighed again, but he didn't sound too sad about this, there was some moving while he cleared his throat, lowering his voice a bit then. "But Liam… I'm not home alone, just so you know, my… mum got the day off. I'll tell her to send you up to my room, okay? Don't worry, she's alright."

Well… no denying, that did get Liam a little bit nervous, which was embarrassing because one, he was 20 years old and two, this wasn't even Niall's real mother, he even seemed to have trouble calling her that at all so there really was no need to leave an impression, but still. "That's okay, just go back to sleep, I'm not gonna disturb you, I promise."

"I'll try and stay awake." He sounded so extremely tired that Liam doubted that he'd manage to do that, but he didn't mind too much, Niall needed his rest, Liam was fine if he could just be there. Maybe watching the boy sleep would magically give him a solution for last night's problem, which Liam had completely forgotten about ever since Niall hadn't shown up, but it came creeping back slowly now that he had reached the bus station. "See you in a bit?"

"Yeah, I'll hurry." There was a small yawn at the other end that got Liam smiling softly against his will before hanging up or he'd never manage to actually do it. 

While waiting, Liam thought about bringing Niall something, but then he remembered that Niall probably knew what to take or to do because he had taken care of Liam, besides, he wasn't home alone so that was a bit of a relief too. Even though now that Liam knew about… all the disasters that had happened in Niall's other adoptive families, he had caught himself a few times during the last two days being worried about whether Niall really was okay there. It's just, after everything that he had been put through, Liam knew he wouldn't be able to control himself if anything else happened, and he wouldn't even feel bad about hurting somebody because it was for Niall after all, plus he never had anybody to talk to about it or to be there for him, so it got to Liam even more that he was that person now.

Getting to Niall's house felt like it had already become routine or something, even if they hadn't been there half as often as at the flat but Liam always insisted on bringing the younger boy home, it'd be pretty irresponsible not to, besides… the longer he stayed with him, the later they had to part. That's what Liam's trail of thoughts had changed to.

So despite the fact that he really wanted to just see Niall, check on him, Liam hesitated for a bit before actually ringing the doorbell, he wasn't really sure what to expect, or how to act, he sucked at interacting with people he didn't know. Actually, he just sucked at it in general.

Liam's hopes that maybe it would be Niall who opened the door and saved him from embarrassing himself got destroyed when a woman appeared instead, with black hair, pretty tall as well, if Liam hadn't known that Niall was adopted, he would've found out right this second. "Hi, I'm Lia-"

"Liam? Yes, Niall told me, come in." She didn't smile, which was alright, because she seemed to be a little stressed out, not at all as if she was up for any dumb smalltalk, Perfect. "You can just go upstairs, but take the shoes off, I just cleaned. Niall's probably asleep, if he wakes up then tell him to take another pill."

"I will." It was only now that Liam suddenly remembered that Niall had told him that both of his 'parents' were doctors, he felt pretty stupid now for thinking about whether he needed to bring Niall some medicine. "Uh, thanks for letting me stay, I hope it's not a bother."

"Oh, whatever, I got work to do here anyways. Watch out, he's pretty contagious." And that was all really, she wasn't even looking at Liam anymore while saying the last thing but rather at some calendar in her hands, walking off towards the living room, leaving him standing just like this in her house. Thank god this had gone alright, Liam could almost grasp his relief as he took his shoes off before quickly remembering why he was here again.

Going up the stairs all by himself felt a little weird, the house was too quiet without Niall rambling, that's another thing that had changed in Liam's life, he suddenly found it weird to not hearing anybody talk or have his body all to himself without somebody constantly touching him. 

Apparently, Niall's adoptive mum knew that Liam had been here before, because there were like 6 closed door upstairs and she hadn't even bothered telling him which one it was, or maybe she just hadn't cared enough. Fact was that Liam was pretty glad to know Niall's room, just seeing the door made his heart bump a little faster actually, embarrassing as it was, Liam couldn't help it.

He knocked softly, just in case, not loud enough to wake Niall if he really had fallen asleep and it seemed like it, because there came no answer or sound, so Liam opened the door as carefully as possible, stepping inside quietly and pulling it closed behind him again. And then he nearly died right on the spot. 

Niall's double bed was quite big, which meant, he also had a lot of stuff in there, so right now, Niall was cuddling with a pillow, tugged in and all snuggled up, with his hair all flat and messy, hoodie sleeves pulled over his hands and his pink, soft lips parted slightly while he breathed a little too heavily, probably because of the cold he had.

There was no denying that he did look sick as well, he was even paler than usually, and his nose was a bit red, which Liam could've cooed at forever. Gosh, that was the most adorable thing he had ever seen and he wasn't even ashamed the slightest bit about thinking this, anyone with eyes would've said the same. But no, it was only Liam who got see this.

Walking up closer, Liam realized that Niall still had his hand clenched around his phone, making him smile a little more as he sat down on Niall's bed, not too careful since the boy was sleeping in the middle anyways, forcing Liam to stretch a little so he could reach him.

His forehead felt hot underneath Liam's fingertips as he brushed some hair away before just continuing to stroke his face gently. He had never done this before, but it seemed very appropriate right now, besides, Liam couldn't have stopped even if he had wanted to.

Nothing changed for a while, Liam just kept watching the sleeping boy, fascinated, sometimes tenderly switching between running his fingers through the soft, blonde hair and stroking parts of his face and arm, not intending to wake him, he was just glad that he could be here at all.

Of course though, at some point Niall probably did feel all the touches, there was some whimper that almost broke Liam's heart, then another tiny sound before Niall's bright blue eyes flattered open a little bit, his hand grabbing onto the phone tighter as if he didn't even notice doing it. Then, the tiniest hint of a smile appeared on his lips, his voice raspy and quiet, numbed by the pillow. "Hey, Li…"

"Hi, Nialler… you okay?" Liam spoke softly, not stopping to play with the soft hair behind Niall's ear, having moved a lot closer by now.

"Yeah…feel a bit shitty, but you know what I mean…" He did unfortunately, which was another reason as to why he felt so bad for Niall, because he could feel right with him. "Can you give me…"

Instead of finishing, Niall let go of his phone to stretch his arm out a bit, pointing at the water bottle on his bedside table that Liam quickly took to give to him, staying ready to support Niall if he needed to as he leaned up on his elbow to drink something. "Here, you gotta take another one of these. At least that's what I've been told to tell you." 

"She didn't say anything else, did she?" Liam settled for shaking his head as he got a pill for Niall, watching him take it and pull a little bit of a face while swallowing, falling right back down onto his back afterwards. "Yeah… we hardly talk, she's busy."

Busy was better than something else, but Liam didn't say it out loud, he scooted a bit closer to Niall on the bed, taking his hand carefully, rubbing his thumb over Niall's knuckles. "You should try and go back to sleep, Ni, that helped me as well."

"I know, I just gotta…" He sat up carefully before finishing, Liam let go of his hand to move it to Niall's back instead, rubbing a bit as he leaned over to put the bottle back onto the bedside table before suddenly freezing. "Shit."

"What? What's wrong?" Immediately, Liam half panicked as he didn't know what was going on, Niall was just staring at the wall, still sitting up before his hand came flying to his mouth and before Liam could ask anything else, the younger boy had half jumped out of bed, hurrying for the door before Liam could do as much as flinch. "Niall…" 

It was kinda obvious what was going on, Liam made sure to follow Niall into where he knew the bathroom was, already hearing him gag even though he was still in the hallway. Usually he wasn't really somebody who could stand someone else throwing up right next to him, not that he had come into a situation like this very often, but this time Liam didn't even stop to think before entering the bathroom, not hesitating to get onto his knees next to Niall who had his head half in the toilet bowl, puking his guts out judging by the sounds. 

Liam didn't say anything, knowing that if he would've been in the same situation, he wouldn't have been able to understand even one word. Instead, he continued rubbing Niall's back like before, flushing the toilet for him whenever he took a break since he needed his hands to support himself.

There were tears still streaming down Niall's cheeks as he finally sat back, sniffing while wiping his mouth and giving a pretty horrible sight that caused Liam another flash of guilt, this was all his fault. "You done?" 

Liam spoke softly, lifting his hand to free Niall's forehead from his fringe, automatically moving on to drying his wet cheeks a little bit, not minding all the touching right now, especially not since Niall was leaning slightly against his palm. "Yeah…sorry, that was really gross."

"It's fine, Ni, come here." Not thinking much besides that he desperately wanted to comfort the boy, Liam sat back before softly pulling Niall towards him, so he was in between his legs, wrapping him up in his arms.

Niall adjusted automatically, almost melting against Liam as he rested his head against the older boy's shoulder, letting himself being cuddled, obviously grateful for the warmth, his fingers were ice cold as he held onto Liam's arm around him, keeping it in place. "I feel like shit, Li…"

His voice was really quiet, there was a tiny sniff that had Liam's heart breaking a little, pressing a kiss to the top of Niall's head, he held him a little tighter, nuzzling his face into the blonde hair. "I know, Nialler, I'm so sorry that I got you sick, but it'll get better soon, okay? You just need to rest a lot." 

"Are you gonna stay?" The bathroom floor was getting quite uncomfortable by now but Liam didn't dare moving too much, especially when Niall sounded like this, he was so poor, if he could've, Liam would have switched places with him within a heartbeat. 

"Of course I will, I just got here after all, but I'll stay for as long as you want me to, alright?" To be completely honest, Liam would've also stayed the night and skipped tomorrow as well if that's what Niall would've asked him to do. He nuzzled his face tighter against Liam's neck, sighing contently as Liam brought a hand up to caress his cheek again, still holding him tightly pressed against him with his free arm. Whatever boundaries they might have had a while, they clearly had disappeared now, besides, Liam's mind was filled with worries about the younger boy now instead of the things that had kept him up last night, he could still figure that out some other time, when Niall wasn't clinging to him anymore because he felt so bad. "Hey, Ni, I'll get you back to bed, okay? I'll carry you, you just gotta get up for a second."

"No, wait, I… I gotta clean my mouth…" Niall seemed a bit disoriented as he lifted his head, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles like a child, obviously trying hard to keep them open, god, he really did look sick but at the same time, he was so freaking adorable, Liam just wanted to cuddle him and keep him safe. 

Getting Niall onto his feet wasn't too hard, it's not like he'd pass out any second or so, but just to be sure, Liam kept an arm around his stomach the whole time, he wasn't very heavy at all anyways, Liam could've easily caught him. 

He filled some cup with water for Niall, keeping an eye on him as he spit it out, reaching for the mouthwash then after Liam almost had to forbid him to brush his teeth since Niall's only argument was that he didn't wanna have bad breath because of Liam being here. Which was absolutely ridiculous and probably the last thing Liam cared about, but he did wait then until Niall spit the mouthwash into the sink before picking him up carefully like he already had a week ago. Only this time, Niall wrapped his arms around Liam's neck almost immediately, dropping his head onto his shoulder as if he had already passed out again. "Liam…?"

"Yes?" It was slightly troublesome to turn out the lights with only his elbow, but Liam managed to get them back into Niall's room, gently closing the door with his foot then while answering.

"Can you lie down with me? I know I'm sick, but…" There wasn't even a question whether Liam would do that, especially with Niall asking like this, suddenly sneezing out of nowhere, causing Liam to smile a little bit, this had just been the cutest thing ever.

"Bless you, Ni. Of course I'll lie down with you, I don't care that you're sick." Niall clung a little bit longer to Liam as he put him down on the bed gently, probably still seeking the warmth because a second later he had scooted more into the middle of the bed, immediately pulling the blanket over his lower half. 

"Li…" Liam had remained standing, getting another pill out of the package on Niall's bedside table because he had probably puked it out before, almost regretting it when he saw Niall stretching his arms out towards him. God, he really wanted him in this bed with him, didn't he?

"One second…here, take this." So while Niall took the pill, Liam sat down on the free space next to him on the bed, smiling at him encouragingly, about to reach out for the younger boy because his fringe was yet again about to fall into his eyes when Niall just scooted closer, before, yes, climbing into Liam's lap and pulling the blanket with him over the both of them. 

"Is this okay?" The question was a little bit unnecessary, even if Liam had tensed up a bit, out of surprise, he still immediately held the boy close, leaning forward slightly to kiss his forehead, somehow automatically already. 

"Of course, Nialler." Actually, Liam kinda loved this, the way Niall smiled at him weakly even though he was tired and exhausted, how his weight felt and his warmth, it was a lot different from the usual cuddling, a lot closer and kinda more intimidate as well. Plus, Liam could hold him really tightly against his chest, being certain that he'd be able to keep him safe like this. 

"You're really warm." Obviously that was one of the reasons why Niall wanted to be this close, he pressed himself into Liam, continuing to smile even though he must've felt miserable as hell. "And you smell good too." 

At the second thing, Liam blushed maybe the slightest bit, hoping that Niall didn't notice, but it seemed he was busy adjusting himself on his lap, pulling the blanket almost up to his chin so that Liam's arms around the boy were covered as well. "You should try and sleep, Ni."

"But I'm not too tired anymore, I just feel a bit exhausted. Can you maybe tell me something? About anything, really, I like when you talk." And he just said it like this, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, playing with the collar of Liam's shirt meanwhile. "How was your day?"

"Um… well it was fine, I guess…" Liam was a bit unsure now, like, did Niall just want him to keep going because it almost seemed like it, he just looked at him as if he really and truly needed to know how Liam's day had been. "I almost overslept though, well… and then it was pretty boring, actually. I looked for you and I might have panicked a little because you weren't there. But there's nothing that really happened, it was just a normal day really until I called you."

"Aw, were you worried about me?" If he only knew how much, but Liam just rolled his eyes, smiling a little and finally fully relaxing, bringing one hand up to play with Niall's hair, he really liked doing that, besides, Niall's eyes always fell halfway closed through that.

"Somehow I'm always worried about you." The truth, but no one could blame Liam for that, it's just the way Niall was, and looked, that made him seem so vulnerable and breakable, as if he needed protection from anything. Kinda ironic though, because Liam couldn't even protect that boy from himself.

"Why?" Niall cocked his head slightly while asking, maybe not even aware of the fact that he always seemed to do that, not that Liam would tell him, he didn't wanna risk not seeing it again because it was just too bloody cute. 

"I don't know, Ni… " Shaking his head a bit, continuing to stroke Niall's hair softly, Liam studied his face, his bright blue eyes, the soft, pink lips, slightly blushed cheeks in contrast to the rest of his more than pale face. He was so gorgeous, even when he was sick like this, Liam wanted to kiss him all over, and maybe, maybe even right on his lips, like he had thought would happen last night. 

"Just because I'm younger? You know I can take care of myself." He did, Liam knew that too well and it impressed him too, like in some way, he was so proud of Niall it was incredible, it made the age difference unnoticeable. Even if Liam liked it when Niall behaved a little silly and all cutely too, actually, he just loved everything about him.

"I know you can, I wouldn't mind taking care of you though. I was just worried that something might have happened to you." Liam shrugged a little, looking away from Niall's eyes and staring at his wall instead, he had some posters up, of movies and bands, Liam liked being here, because the whole room reminded him of Niall.

"Why?" It sounded as if Niall asked because he wanted to just hear Liam saying it, as if he already knew yet he just wanted reassurance.

So Liam looked back at him, deciding to do him that favor, because it was pretty obvious anyways, he still had his arm around Niall's waist under the blanket, keeping him as close as possible, his other hand tangled in the blonde hair, moving it down now to rub his thumb across Niall's cheek instead, a gesture he would've never imagined could feel this right. "Because you mean a lot to me."

A lot more than he would've ever thought would be possible, he hadn't planned on this, or realized it until a while ago, but the fond look in Niall's eyes made him pretty happy to have said it out loud. "You mean a lot to me too, Liam." 

And as nobody said anything, Niall moved his hand from playing with Liam's shirt to cup the back of his neck instead, just staring at him, with their faces just inches apart, Liam's thumb still on the boy's cheek, palm against the side of his neck. It kinda wasn't a surprise as Niall leaned forward that tiny bit more, stopping for a second, maybe waiting for Liam to react, but when he just kept still, Niall pressed his lips on top of his.

It wasn't anything more than a peck, closed lips, the same way they kissed each other on the cheek and forehead, all Niall did afterwards was smile briefly before moving a little, snuggling his head down between Liam's neck and shoulder.

For a few seconds, Liam just sat there, with his hand still against Niall's skin, his lips tingling, but the surprise never came, or the shock, all that happened was warmth settling in his stomach for finally having it confirmed.

Niall really did like him, he could've spared himself that half an hour at the gas station last night because he had just gotten all the proof he had needed. Suddenly it seemed so easy, the way he pulled Niall in even closer, resting his cheek against his head, smiling to himself when he felt rather cold fingers playing with the hair in the back of his neck. "Niall?"

"Yes?" He sounded pretty amused, as if he might start laughing any second and to be honest, Liam felt much the same. How could he have ever doubted that this was how it was supposed to be?

"Go on a date with me." Not a question, because well… there was no need to. 

That was what caused Niall to release the short laugh he had obviously been holding in, it went over in a giggle then that warmed Liam's heart, he actually couldn't believe it, that he had just said this all calmly, that it still felt so natural when he hadn't been close to anybody in so long. Or maybe it was just because it was Niall. "It's the first thing on my list of things to do once I'm not sick anymore."

"I sure as hell hope so." This was so silly, but Liam couldn't help but feel amused and happy and excited all at the same time, really he couldn't find a single thing wrong with his life right now. 

 

————————

 

Niall stayed home for two more days until he was all healthy again, Liam missed him during the day, a lot, but he always went to visit him as soon as he had nowhere else to be anymore. They talked a lot, and it somehow became a common thing for Niall to cuddle into Liam while sitting on his lap, falling asleep a few times there, which Liam was pretty sure was his favorite thing in the whole world. Well, he somehow always thought that whenever he and Niall did something they had never done before.

Speaking of which, they didn't kiss again, well, Liam went for it one time, almost without noticing, but Niall covered his lips with his palm last second, laughing really loudly at Liam's hurt face before telling him that he had a five date rule, which was a joke obviously, the true reason was because he didn't wanna get the chance of making him sick even higher. Which was a good idea somehow because Liam wasn't really sure if he would have been fine with just a peck a second time, but he remembered then, what Niall had told him, about his first adoptive family and what had happened, so he reminded himself that he had to be careful with Niall, gentle, and not push him or anything, he didn't know _exactly_ what had happened back then, or how often, but he did know enough as to know he had to get himself together if it came to stuff like this.

On thursday, the first day Niall would come back to uni again, Liam was in the best mood ever getting up, he hadn't even told Louis and Harry about where he had spent the last three days but they had kinda managed to guess it. If they only knew how right they were with all their 'Have fun on your next date with Niall'. Hell, he actually would have a date with him.

Liam could hardly believe it actually, that Niall had just kissed him like that and that ever since then he suddenly knew exactly what he wanted, like there was no overanalyzing or constant worrying this time, it almost seemed too perfect to be true, but who was Liam to complain really? 

"So where are we going?" Niall had asked this all day long, whenever they had seen each other, hanging all over each other, he had even written him notes during philosophy lecture, and text messages during the ones they didn't have together. 

"You'll just have to be patient for a few more minutes, Ni, think you can handle it?" To say Liam didn't enjoy the hell out of this would've been a big fat lie, he loved the boy's excitement, the way he had almost made Liam stumble by attacking him with a hug as soon as he had shown up to where they had agreed to meet. 

"No, I don't think I can actually. You can either tell me now or have a date by yourself because I will explode, I'm pretty sure." The grin Niall wore had lasted all day long, he looked so cute today as well, even if he was just wearing a plain shirt and jacket, he hadn't even styled his hair. Well, that maybe was because Liam had told him that he liked it better like this, when it was down and alright for him to run his fingers through anytime he felt like it. Which was, every five minutes.

"Right." Rolling his eyes a little bit, Liam smirked at Niall before deciding that he should be allowed to hold his hand if he felt like it, so he simply intertwined their fingers, pleased when he felt Niall returning the squeeze, his smile getting wider if any possible. "Come on, I'll show you." 

"You could also just tell me." Niall suggested, making Liam sigh slightly as he pulled the boy with him gently, he wasn't annoyed though, not the slightest bit actually, he had been excited for this for days now, plus it hadn't been really hard to figure out a place where Niall would want to go either, he was very predictable. "Liiiaaamm, tell me."

"I can't, Nialler, it's a surprise." Maybe not too creative, but if everything failed Liam could still just buy him ice cream, that was the nice part, Niall was happy about every simple thing, and he always was extremely grateful as well, something Liam adored him for. Even though actually… he adored that boy for pretty much everything.

"Fine, but I'll get my hopes up extremely high now, just so you know." Whenever he pretended to be mad or pouting, Niall managed to keep it up for like one minute, even as Liam laughed, his mouth was already twitching. "Shut up, Liam."

"Aw, come on, don't be mad at me or it won't be any fun." Swinging their arms a little in between them while walking, Liam felt happiness bubble up inside him from being allowed to do that, in public and all, and while he didn't have to lie to himself about liking it.

"You know I can have fun everywhere, with or without you." Well, that was true, but even though Niall tried to sound serious, he turned his head not two seconds later to smile at Liam, walking closer next to him, kissing his upper arm over his hoodie. God, Liam could hardly stand the fact that they had only kissed on the lips one single time, like, it hadn't even been a real kiss above all, but he couldn't just grab Niall and do it, could he, it would be better to wait for Niall to make a move, he had told Liam that he never had dated anybody before, plus… maybe those kinda touches would be too much for him and he didn't even know it yet, what if like… if it woke old memories? Liam didn't wanna be responsible for that, or worse, scare Niall, even if he seemed to be more than alright with every other affectionate gesture as well, but up to now, they had only been in a friendship way. "Liam? What're you staring at?"

Right, Liam had gotten a bit lost in thoughts, almost bumping into somebody walking by now as he finally drew his eyes away from Niall's face, shaking his head lightly before deciding that it was best to not tell him the truth. "Nothing, just thinking about how beautiful you are."

"Ha, ha, ha, very funny." Obviously Niall took it as a joke, but even though Liam had used a little lie, that didn't change anything about the truth.

"But you are, Ni." Before Niall could protest once again, Liam stopped both of them from walking, grinning as he pulled Niall closer, placing a kiss on his cute nose, not really worried about those kinda things anymore. "The most beautiful boy I've ever seen."

"Haven't seen a lot boys, have you?" This time finally, just once, it was Niall who blushed hard under Liam's fond stare, his words coming out in almost only whispers, a smile tugging on his lips as Liam chuckled, gently pulling him along by his hand. They still had to go somewhere after all. 

"I think I've seen enough." And he didn't really see or think about anybody else anyways ever since he knew Niall.

A few more times, Niall couldn't hold back anymore apparently and attempted to try and trick Liam into telling him even if they only had to take the bus for like, ten minutes at most. But it was the walking that got Niall impatient and Liam laughing over his behavior, he could be so grown up and act so smart at times but then suddenly, he started becoming like this again, tugging on his hand, moaning about how he was too tired to go on.

"I'm serious, Liam, if this is what you think a good date is then we have to work on your-"

"Well, I do think that _that_ is a good date though." Interrupting Niall since he was getting lost in his rambling again, not even noticing where they even were, Liam pointed past him with his free hand, still clenching Niall's with the other.

"What do you… oh." Niall just froze, which was not the reaction Liam would've hoped for, his smile got a little bit shaky as he heard how shocked Niall sounded, god, what if he hated this? "The _zoo_ , Liam?!" 

"Well, if you-"

"I love the zoo!" Thankfully, Niall's bright grin was back, a weight being lifted off of Liam when he heard the younger boy almost squealing, for a moment he had thought that this was gonna end in a complete disaster.

"I figured you would." Which was very easy to say now, and while looking at Niall almost jumping up and down, his dimples so prominent now, Liam almost couldn't help but lean forward to kiss them, he settled for pulling him a little closer by his hand though, smiling while brushing his lips over the blonde's forehead, a gesture he seemed to hardly notice because of his excitement. Where did he manage to take it from all the time? "I'm happy that you like it."

"Like it? I love it, Li, I've never been on a date before so this is extra special." Yeah, the problem was, Liam had never been on a date either, that's why he hadn't exactly known what to do, even if Niall was so easy to make happy, he still had wanted to make sure he'd enjoy this and knowing that he had managed that was probably the biggest compliment ever. "Come on now, I've waited long enough!"

"You sure have, Nialler." Liam laughed, letting himself being pulled along, feeling very honored that out of everybody, he got to be the only one to have the pleasure of taking Niall on a date. Somewhere in the back of his mind, there were always Harry's and Louis' endless discussions about how he needed to find somebody as well, how Liam had found it amusing back then before all of this because he had never even tried imaging something like this to ever happen. Like someone who really and truly wanted to spend time with him, but above all, Liam hadn't thought that that feeling could be mutual.

But watching Niall like this, all giggly and happy, made him question his future decisions and thoughts a lot, maybe with Niall by his side everything could be fine, and he could finally bury the past, once and for all. He hadn't ever wanted to feel this way for anybody again, become so attached to a person, and maybe that was exactly why him and Niall seemed to work out so perfectly, because he hadn't been looking for it. Actually, he had had already given up.

So now all he had to do was make sure to keep that boy, because Liam was pretty sure losing him would've hurt a lot more than anything else he had ever experienced, it was like, this was much more intense than anything he had known before.

"Okay, you say where we go, I really don't mind." Besides, once they were inside, Niall seemed like he would burst if he didn't get to decide and Liam really didn't care about whatever animals they looked at because truth be told, the only thing he'd really be watching was the gorgeous boy by his side. 

"I've never been here before though, but if you insist, I guess I'm fine with taking the lead." Liam hadn't been here either, he had had to google this first since he couldn't ask his friends without getting teased until the end of time, not that he cared because he got to see Niall's happy face in return. "Not so slow, Li!"

"Hey, hey, we got all day long, Nialler." They had literally gone here right after uni, exactly for that purpose, to spend as much time as possible, but apparently not even that was enough for Niall, and it's not like Liam could complain about that, could he, not even when the boy took off without him. "Wait up, babe!"

The 'babe' had just slipped through somehow, at least it made Niall stop from half running, laughing loudly, or maybe it was just because he wanted to wait for Liam anyways, he even stretched his hand out towards him even though there were like 5 meters distance between them now. "I told you to hurry, I wanna go see the monkeys, like, right now."

Why was he so cute? That question would probably take a lifetime for Liam to find an answer to, he just shook his head slowly, smiling as he intertwined their fingers, holding on tightly this time to make sure Niall wouldn't start running off again, thinking that actually, he wouldn't mind taking the rest of his life to simply watch Niall.

The monkeys turned out to be less exciting than expected, so Niall dragged Liam on about five minutes later, to the zebras, carefully letting go of Liam's hand then to open up the bag of food they had gotten, an unsure expression coming over his face as he watched the animals, not moving. "You think it's gonna bite me?"

Surprised, Liam didn't answer and just reached out to pet the zebra to show Niall that it was alright, but the younger boy still didn't make any attempts to feed or touch it, causing Liam to suppress his laughter. "It's fine, come here."

Slowly, Niall checked Liam's face a little before taking those few steps, allowing Liam to gently put his hands onto his hips and turn him around so he was behind Niall, leaving one hand on his side and using his other to take Niall's, trying to unclench the fist he had formed. "What are you doing, Li, I don't want it to-"

"It's like a horse really, look, open up your hand and keep it flat when you feed it and you'll be fine." It was like what you tell a small kid, yet Niall still seemed really nervous and Liam suddenly started thinking that maybe he had never been to a zoo before. 

"Um, okay…" Niall hesitated before taking some food, leaning more against Liam's chest as he carefully stretched his hand out like Liam had told him, it was so adorable, the way he was even shaking slowly, Liam kissed the back of his head, soothingly rubbing his thumb over where he still had his hand on Niall's side. "I think I like fish better…"

"Oh, Niall." Liam couldn't help but chuckle slightly, wrapping both his arms around Niall's stomach from behind now, watching him as he waited for the zebra to empty Niall's palm, he pulled it back immediately once he realized it was going to lick it, his back flush against Liam's chest. "Wanna go somewhere else?"

"Yeah, just… wait a second." No idea what for, Liam just kept his arms around Niall, tightening them a little when he felt the boy's hands keeping them in place, a knowing thought crossing Liam's mind that made him smirk a little.

"What for?" There were some kids running around now but Liam didn't mind, he kissed the back of Niall's head once more, feeling him almost melting into him when Liam rested his cheek against the blonde hair, breathing in the smell of shampoo and simply Niall.

"I like it when you hold me." Hearing it even though he had already thought that that was the reason caused Liam to smile even bigger, he liked this as well, being so close, having Niall safely wrapped up in his arms, it felt like heaven.

For quite a while they just stayed like this without talking, maybe making it look as if they were really into staring at zebras, which was probably the last thing on either of their minds, Liam wasn't thinking about anything in particular, he was barely rocking them a bit, just enjoying the moment.

When Niall allowed him to let go of him, Liam kept one arm around Niall at first before moving it up around his shoulders, tucking him in closer and flashing him a smile as he felt an arm curl around his waist, Niall intertwining their fingers again so Liam didn't even have a choice anymore but to keep his arm around the younger boy. Not that he had thought about letting go. "Where to now?"

"Let's just walk and see where we end up." It didn't sound like Niall had gotten bored, not at all, he still seemed very happy, almost adoringly smiling up at Liam before turning his head to kiss the back of his hand.

"Where's all your energy gone to drag me with you, huh?" Secretly, Liam liked this a lot better of course, he was just joking anyways, walking slowly so he wouldn't have to let go of Niall too soon again.

Niall just shrugged first of all, then he leaned his head against Liam's shoulder for a second. "I'd rather walk with you, it's a date after all."

"Yeah… hey, Nialler… I'm really happy you came here with me." Just so he'd know that this meant a lot to Liam, because it did, there was no place in the world he'd rather be than right here. 

"I'm happy that you brought me here, Li…I really like you, you know. Like really." Liam's heart made a bit of a jump at that confession, it's not like he hadn't known though, he had suspected it for a while, but ever since the almost kiss and the real kiss had happened, he knew for sure yet Niall had never just said it like that.

"I really like you too, babe." Because he did, right now, there was no person that Liam would've picked over Niall, he would've told him that but Niall seemed really happy with that already, squeezing himself tighter into Liam.

Next thing they looked at were some penguins, Niall seemed to like those a lot more, his excitement came back even though he refused to let go of Liam this time, well actually, they didn't let go of each other for quite long. It was just nice, to be randomly touching all the time, holding hands or simply keeping an arm around Niall, whatever, Liam just didn't want any distance between them right now. 

Time seemed to fly by when he was with Niall, it's what always happened somehow when they spent time together, something that really made Liam wish that it was a friday so Niall could've stayed over night as well, or maybe he should've kept it a little together, he didn't wanna seem as if he was obsessed with the boy or anything. Besides, they had spent a lot of weekends together already, it was most likely what they'd end up doing again in two days.

"I never would've thought that there is a person in the world that doesn't like cotton candy." Niall shook his head while chewing, as if he still couldn't believe what Liam had told him after buying Niall cotton candy but not himself.

They had just spent three hours at the zoo and as much fun as it had been, they had run out of animals for Niall to get excited for, but since Liam really didn't wanna take the boy home yet even though it was already like 7pm, he had made up that it had also been part of the date that they walk home instead of taking the bus. Niall had just shrugged, apparently not being able to listen properly when he saw sweets, or food in general, because the cotton candy Liam had bought him after that had by far not been everything they had eaten that day. "It's so sticky, I think it's really gross afterwards to have on your fingers."

"Does that mean I can't hold your hand anymore after I'm done?" He seemed seriously worried, stopping his movement even though he had just gotten a big chunk of pink in his hand, just holding it now, suddenly laughing. "I could lick it clean."

"Thanks, Nialler, I think I'll just hold your other hand then." There even had some cotton candy gotten stuck around his lips that made Liam chuckle whenever he looked at the boy, deciding not to say anything for now since Niall would get himself dirty again like 5 minutes later. 

"Or you could carry me, I don't think I can remember a day where I've been running around longer than the last few hours." Niall had continued eating, unaware of Liam watching him the whole time with the same dumb grin on his face that he had worn all day long. "But I really liked it, mostly because you were there though, I'm not that much into exercising." 

Maybe he didn't even know how irresistibly cute he was saying all this, if Liam wouldn't have been scared of having to pick cotton candy bits out of his hair later he would've just wrapped his arms around Niall right now and never let go again. "I would've never guessed that."

"Hey! Don't get mean now, Liam, I still got half of my cotton candy I'm not afraid to sacrifice some of it to go into your face." Smirking, Niall wiped the back of his hand over his mouth, making it even worse yet Liam still didn't do anything besides laughing at him before casually wrapping his arm around Niall's shoulders, pulling him in closer.

"You're cute, you know that?" Extremely cute, actually, Liam thought for a second that Niall would either ignore him or blush, but in between swallowing and humming contently at Liam keeping the blonde fringe from falling into his face, Niall just smiled, keeping his eyes on his cotton candy stick.

"You too." And then he laughed a little after surprising Liam for saying this, because, well, he really was anything besides that. 

"Not really, I-"

"Yes, you are, Li. You took me to the zoo and you insist on paying everything for me even if I try to do it myself and you're always making me compliments the whole day long." Did he really? Liam might have done that a few times, it mostly just came out unintentionally, because that was basically everything that was on his mind anyways, how freaking perfect Niall was and how lucky he could count himself for the fact that he liked Liam. "And if we're talking about appearance wise, then you're cute too, but you're actually pretty hot as well."

"Niall!" Oh god, that had literally been the last thing Liam would've ever expected to hear out of the younger boy's mouth, he blushed madly, refusing to let go of Niall though even as he looked up at Liam, laughing loudly.

"Why can't I say that? It's true, you really are handsome." If he didn't stop Liam's cheeks were gonna catch fire, at the same time though, Niall talked about it so casually as if he really meant this, which made Liam a tiny bit proud like, he really did want Niall to think about him this way. 

"Well… thanks, I guess…" Liam rubbed his face a bit with his free hand, he would've told Niall that he was way more gorgeous and handsome, but he just really wanted to drop the topic before he'd get even more embarrassed. No one had told him anything like that before, like, it's not that Liam thought he was too ugly, but hearing stuff like this out of Niall's mouth was way more worth. 

"You're welcome." With that, Niall threw the empty stick of his cotton candy into a dustbin while walking past, wiping over his mouth once more yet _still_ not getting everything. 

As blushed and embarrassed as Liam was and felt, he still couldn't help but to reach out with his free hand, making Niall jump a little bit as he rubbed at the skin right next to his mouth, trying to clean his face, having to stop them so he wouldn't accidentally poke Niall. "You, um, got something there, wait…" 

"Thank you, that could've gotten embarrassing." Niall smiled, holding still then so Liam could continue, his cheeks slowly cooling down again from before as he took unnecessarily long to touch Niall's skin, even in places where he hadn't gotten dirty at all, it's just, the boy didn't really seem to mind.

"Alright, I'm done." For a second, Liam thought about it before walking around a confused Niall, intertwining their fingers with the hand that Niall hadn't gotten all sticky, chuckling when he saw him rolling his eyes slightly. "I told you I'd hold your other hand." 

"It's not even sticky, Liam! Besides, you just got it all over yourself as well when you cleaned my face." Right, Liam only noticed that now but he just shrugged anyways, not minding half as much as he pretended to, it was just funny to see Niall acting as if he was mad at him when in reality he was grasping tightly onto his hand, it already felt as if this had become routine, plus Liam loved the fact that he wasn't scared anymore of touching Niall, they made it all seem so completely normal and natural. "Can I ask you something?"

A few minutes had passed before Niall speaking up, he had his second hand wrapped around Liam's as well now, maybe to show him that it really wasn't sticky, but Liam hadn't thought of saying something anyways, he just loved getting this kinda affection too much. "Yeah, what's up?"

"So, you know how I've never been on a date…" Niall started, already causing Liam to smirk, but he tried to hold back, nodding along even though he was pretty sure Niall wasn't watching him anyways. "And you know… since you don't just take random people on one without liking them…"

"You know that I like you." Liam threw in as Niall paused for a second, a tiny smile appearing on his lips when Liam said that, he had just wanted make sure that Niall knew, even if he had told him before, he'd gladly say it again.

"Well, I just thought… wondered, actually, if we'd ever do this again, because I really liked it. And I like spending time with you in general, just… I also liked the fact that you called it a date." This was so hard to not burst out laughing at and squish Niall in his arms, the younger boy was torturing his bottom lip as Liam checked, making him stare a few seconds longer, not being able to draw his eyes away from Niall, he was so gone for him, seriously. 

"Of course we'll do it again, Ni, loads of times. You got your five date rule after all, haven't you?" Which had probably been a joke though, Liam didn't actually mean it anyways, he would've taken Niall on a million dates even without ever getting to kiss him again. Speaking of which…

"Yeah, right, I do." Didn't sound very convincing, especially not paired with the giggle that escaped Niall afterwards, leaving Liam no choice but to lean over and kiss the side of his head, it was like, a _necessity_. "Glad we discussed this."

Liam was glad too, for many more reasons actually, like the way Niall kept clinging to his hand and arm, every once in a while pressing his lips onto Liam's shoulder while they were walking. Even though nobody passing them by cared about whatever they were doing, Liam still felt really proud because of the fact that he was the one who got to hold Niall's hand and whatnot, he and nobody else.

It got a lot darker once they finally reached Niall's house, Niall had been pressing himself even more into Liam when the light had started to disappear, not that he minded, he'd protect Niall from anything really, besides, he liked to have him as close as possible too, preferably on his left so that he wasn't walking right next to the street. Maybe that way of thoughts was ridiculous and Liam was way too protective, but better safe than sorry.

Despite the fact that Liam had had loads of time to prepare for that moment, he still felt really bad as Niall slowly pulled his hand out of his, smiling up at him though before making up for it by throwing his arms around Liam's neck, having to get on his tiptoes. "Thank you so much for today, and for everything you payed for me… 'cos that was a lot. Actually I meant to say sorry for eating so much, it's just, I'm a growing boy and all."

"It's alright, you're welcome, babe." Liam just chuckled, having his arms around Niall's waist securely, leaning down a bit so he wouldn't have to stretch so much, he was right after all, he _was_ a growing boy and even if it sometimes didn't seem like it, only 17 years old.

The hug seemed to last forever yet not even close to long enough, Niall had his face buried in between his arm and Liam's neck, sending goosebumps over his skin whenever he breathed out slowly or talked, though they stayed quiet most of the time, just lingering in each other's arms, trying to get as much out of it as possible. 

When Niall rocked back onto his heels, loosening his arms yet not completely letting them slip from around Liam, there was a content smile on his face, he looked a little sleepy as well, especially his baby blue eyes that Liam could've stared into until the end of time. "I should go inside…"

"Yeah…" Liam had to swallow as Niall's breath hit his face because of how close they were, reminding himself that he couldn't just go and kiss the life out of him like he wanted to, so he did his best to not stare at the younger boy's pink lips, settling for a kiss on his cheek instead, trying not to hold him too tight around the waist. "See you tomorrow?"

All Niall did was nod, almost as if he was thinking about it, still not making any attempts to step away from Liam or let him go, they were still almost chest to chest and as much as Liam knew he shouldn't, his eyes still flickered down to Niall's mouth, just shortly, digging his fingers a little tighter into the boy's sides as he caught himself. It was Niall's decision, not his, he would just wait for Niall to bring this up again, Liam could wait, he- "The five date rule was a joke, you know."

And before Liam could tell him that he already knew that, Niall had launched himself at him again, not even giving him time to catch his breath before their lips were being pressed together, almost a little too eager, causing Liam to stumble backwards a bit before being able to hold them both on their feet again, smiling into the kiss.

He let Niall take the lead, because he knew the boy was unexperienced, a little clumsy maybe, which didn't mean that he wasn't a good kisser, he caused butterflies to explode all over in Liam's tummy, his lips tingling like crazy when Niall just barely parted his, as if to just test how it'd feel.

It was really slow and careful though Niall almost ripped Liam's hair out in the back of his neck, the kiss was still gentle, without anything getting too heated, they didn't even use tongue because Liam was pretty sure he would've been a little too eager with that.

As they parted after a while, Niall's face flushed pink, Liam couldn't help but bring a hand up to brush his fingers over his heated cheek tenderly, he was so pretty like this, well, he was all the time actually. Still, Niall kept his eyes down, almost nervously twisting his fingers into Liam's shirt before whispering. "Was it any good?"

Since that question was more than ridiculous, Liam moved his fingers from Niall's cheek to his chin, lifting his head softly so Niall could see him smiling before leaning in to kiss him again, just shortly this time, pressing his other palm against the small of Niall's back to keep him close. "Best I ever had."

Niall's smile came back at this, his eyes falling shut as Liam rested their foreheads together, enjoying the way their breath was mixing, Niall's fingers just barely ghosting over the back of his neck. "And last."

It sounded really convinced, so Liam thought about it for a little bit, because usually he wasn't one to believe in stuff like this, relationships that lasted forever and all that. But it was so different with Niall, it was like, he couldn't imagine ever wanting somebody else, as hard as it had been at first to even stand to have that boy around him, as much did it hurt now to miss him whenever they had to part. Liam had never felt like this, wanting someone else there with him whatever he did, wanting everyone to know that Niall was _his_ only, whether they cared or not.

Maybe that's why he said what he did when Niall leaned back a little bit to look at him with big, bright eyes, asking all innocently. "What do I tell people if anybody asks what we are doing?"

And really, Liam highly doubted that anyone would care, Harry and Louis maybe but they had been predicting this all along anyways, so Liam kissed Niall's forehead, well aware of the fact that in reality he just wanted to know what they were doing for himself. "Tell them you're my boyfriend." 

Niall's smile was breathtaking.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone will like this chapter, there's some stuff in there I thought was overdue to be told!

"Haz, can you lock up for Niall later when he gets here? I gotta leave soon." As hard as it was, Liam pulled his shirt over his head, stopping to look at Harry who was half lying on the couch in the living room, looking more as if he was moving in his sleep rather than nodding as an answer. "Why are you even awake anyways? It's saturday."

"Um… " It seemed that that question was a little bit too much for Harry to progress, he thought about it for a few seconds, yawning, making some more than questioning movement with his hand. "Louis had to get up and drive home… I wanted to be nice and not sleep in 'cos he can't either…"

"Why didn't you go with him? You guys are like, attached by the hip." Not that Liam cared that much, he was just a bit confused, ever since his friends had gotten engaged they were even more over each other than they had been before. Which was remarkable really, Liam hadn't thought that it was possible, but he wasn't too bothered by it anyways and there was only one reason why.

"Couldn't… I gotta study and he'll be back tonight anyways. Besides… you and your boyfriend are the ones who never spend a second without each other." Harry always talked rather slowly, but Liam actually had time to sit down as he waited for him to finish, chuckling over his friend then because he seemed to have such a hard time to stay awake, even with the TV on.

He was right anyways, it was proof enough that Liam's heart started beating faster whenever someone mentioned words like 'your boyfriend' or 'Niall', but it was still so new and besides, Liam doubted that it would change anytime soon. Ever since their date at the zoo, two whole weeks had passed by, they had spent as much time with each other as possible, it had gotten so bad that Liam had had trouble sleeping in last night because he had missed Niall, not that he'd tell the younger boy that, he didn't want to creep him out.

They weren't like Harry and Louis though, not at all, of course they were cuddling and being even more touchy feely than before, they had also snogged two times but Liam didn't want to push anything, he was fine with getting pecks on the lips, just giving Niall as much time as he needed even though he had never said that out loud. Still, he had noticed how nervous the younger boy had gotten that time when he had asked Liam whether they could kiss 'properly', hell, they could do that as much as Niall wanted to because it had blown Liam's mind, he was so far gone for Niall, it would've been embarrassing if he hadn't known that the other boy felt exactly the same way.

"Well, you can't exactly blame me for that." Liam laughed, feeling a little silly while thinking about Niall, he couldn't wait until he had off from work in a few hours, though of course he had seen Niall just yesterday, but he hadn't stayed over night because of something his adoptive parents had dragged him to, some dinner or whatever, it rarely happened that he spent a lot of time with them anyways so Liam had been quite happy for him. Which didn't mean that he hadn't missed him in bed last night.

"Not blaming your for anything, Payno. I'm glad you have Niall, you're much happier now and I like that boy, he's really good for you. And I'm happy for him as well because he's got you." That got Liam a little surprised, he knew that Niall had changed him in the way he behaved, that he made him a lot happier with pretty much everything, that he had been exactly what Liam had needed, but he had never seen it the other way around as well, sometimes he still had no idea why Niall would want him.

"What's so great about having me though?" Well, sometimes Liam cracked _alright_ jokes, and Niall had told him that he looked good, but he wasn't so good at taking compliments, especially when they came from Niall, because that boy was so perfect, it was almost ridiculous. 

"Liam, as much fun as you seem to have with your self hatred, you're not half as bad as you think." What a compliment.

"Well, that can mean a lot." Checking his phone, Liam had about ten minutes before he'd have to walk out of this door, unless he wanted to get yelled at like a week ago when he had been too late because he had stayed in bed for too long staring at a sleeping Nialler curled into his side.

"It means that Niall can be happy that one, you changed your mind about pretty much everything and two, I know that you'll have to be a great boyfriend because ever since I know you, you showed no interest in any person you ever met except for Niall. Right and third, you're more than just overprotective over him, but he seems to need that anyways. Well and then fourth, me and Louis have been right about everything, just so you know." Of course he had to add that, Liam rolled his eyes but couldn't help smiling either way, Harry's words had cheered him up, not that he had been down anyways, he hardly ever was in a bad mood lately.

"Thanks, Haz. And _yes_ , I know that Louis and you have predicated this all along, thank you so much." It came out just as sarcastic as Liam planned on, even though he really was thankful, because those two had for example pushed him to drive over to Niall and apologize, even though, the most work had been done by Niall, if he hadn't been so persistent, then who knows what Liam would be doing now. 

"You're welcome, Liam. Now get out I think I need another nap to make it through the day." Harry seriously threw a pillow at him, a small one though, but it made him giggle because it hit Liam right on the head.

"But don't forget to lock up for N-"

"I know, I know, I'll play some Fifa with him and then we'll talk about you, bye, Liam." Halfway through getting up, Liam stopped at that, seriously questioning now if Harry had just been joking or not.

"Why would you talk about m-"

"Niall can never keep his mouth shut about you when you're not there, he does the same to Louis during their lectures, like, I never wanted to know how _cute_ you look when you're sleeping and how much he likes holding your hand and anyways, who the hell has their first date at a zoo? And Niall was so excited talking about that I thought he was going to throw up." As annoyed as Harry obviously was by this, it kept Liam standing still for another second, a smile playing around his lips now.

"He said all that?" God, that boy.

"Yes. Just get out, Liam, I need to sleep." Well, Liam gladly did leave then, suddenly not so bothered about the fact anymore that he had to go to work or that Harry and Niall were apparently talking about him behind his back. If it was THAT they were talking about then they could keep going for as long as they wanted to.

 

———————

 

Despite Liam's kinda nice conversation with Harry this morning, working still got exhausting after like an hour, it always did, but it's not like Liam could've quit, like, it's not as if his 'family' gave him money or anything and he didn't have to pay rent anyways so he told himself to keep it together, think about that he was doing this so he could take Niall on some more dates.

When Liam finally walked up the staircase to the flat, he could've slept in after sitting down for one second, which he had done a lot before he had known Niall, but the thought of getting to see him in a few minutes had Liam more excited than anything else could've ever managed to make him feel.

"I'm home!" This was another thing Liam hadn't done before, announcing his arrival, because he hadn't really cared too much about whether the others knew where he was, but if he knew that Niall was there, he'd always gladly accept getting tackled by a hug.

Just not today, apparently. "Shhh, Liam, if you keep on yelling around you're gonna regret it, trust me."

The fact that Louis was already there surprised Liam, not as much as what came out of his mouth though when they met in the hallway, where was Niall anyways, that's literally all Liam cared about. "What's going on? Is Niall here? Is he okay?"

"Yeah, calm down, gosh. Just go into the living room, but be quiet, alright?" That smirk on Louis' face was slightly worrying, Liam just shrugged before continuing to walk normally, it's not like he was being so loud or anything, he was just on the search for his boyfriend, nothing more.

"Harry, what the hell is wrong with… oh." Before Liam could get angry about being sent into the living room when everything there was Harry sitting around with a book in his lap, his look fell onto the other couch, almost melting his heart. Niall was sleeping, all curled up in a tight ball and even worse, all while wearing Liam's hoodie that had for sure still been in his room this morning, he had even considered putting it on himself. Thank god he hadn't. 

"You should've just seen your face change, Liam." Ignoring Harry's quiet laugh because he only had eyes for something else, Liam quietly walked over to Niall before getting down in front of the couch, not minding his friend's presence as he leaned forward to press a kiss onto Niall's temple, causing him to mumble something in his sleep. "He's been asleep for like an hour, in case you wanna know, and the first thing he did when I let him in was going straight for your room and putting your clothes on. Also, he sucks at Fifa when he's talking about you while playing, so thanks."

No idea why Harry was so into telling him all this stuff today, Liam was only half listening anyways, not looking away from his boyfriend as he combed his fingers through the blonde hair gently, all of a sudden feeling at ease, he wasn't even exhausted anymore, the only thing bothering him now was the fact that Niall had had to pull his sleeves over his hands to keep himself warm. "Why didn't you get him a blanket?"

"Right! That's what I wanted to do, but I forgot, sorry. I reckon you can warm him up better anyways." The wink would've been there for sure if Liam would've bothered to turn his head, which he didn't even think about doing, instead he pressed his lips to Niall's cheek before getting up slowly, quickly thinking about how he'd do this without waking the sleeping boy. "Need any help?"

"I got it, thanks." How stupid would it have been needing Harry to help him carry Niall? Liam just tried to be extra slow and careful while bringing his arms under Niall's knees and his back, feeling pretty proud of himself when the only reaction was a single displeased sound before Niall snuggled his face into Liam's shoulder, seeking his body heat in his sleep. 

"He's really cute, you know, when he's asleep and doesn't talk my ears off." Maybe Harry thought that his joke had been funny, he just shrugged when Liam threw a glare at him while walking past, being reminded of the times when he used to also think that Niall was annoying because he talked too much. What had been wrong with him, seriously?

"If you ever tell him that I will kill you." That'd really be the cherry on top, if Harry made Niall sad by blurting out dumb stuff like this.

"He wouldn't even take it seriously, Liam, you're just way too protective of him." How could he have not been, just looking down now at Niall's sleepy face caused Liam to tighten his arms, wanting to kiss him all over while holding him as close as possible.

"Yeah, whatever." Not wanting to discuss this any further, Liam made sure to walk out of the room, careful so Niall'd feet wouldn't bump into the wall or anything, the hallway wasn't that wide.

Once in his room, the most important thing came first, which was closing the door with his foot, to at least keep the other two out for those 2 seconds longer, and then came the really hard decision. For some reason, Liam didn't feel like putting Niall down at all, he liked holding him as if he was a baby, have Niall's fingers grabbing onto his shirt once in a while, hardly feeling his weight.

The only solution Liam found for his problem was sitting down on the bed carefully, moving Niall a little bit so he was in his lap, which caused the younger boy to automatically wrap an arm around Liam's neck, clinging to him and almost keeping him from scooting back to lean against the wall just because he wanted to coo at his boyfriend.

But he did it anyways, mostly because he really wanted to tug Niall in, his body relaxed immediately once Liam had pulled the blanket over the both of them, adjusting them a bit more until it was all comfortable, like when Niall had been sick, he had slept in Liam's lap like this as well.

For a while, all Liam could hear was Niall's even breath, he had freed one of his hands to brush it through Niall's hair, kissing the boy's forehead every few seconds because he couldn't contain himself, he literally looked like a sleeping angel, that's how gorgeous he was.

Maybe Liam had been a bit too affectionate though, after another kiss on the top of his head, Niall grabbed Liam's shirt a bit tighter, stirring a little and making some sound, cuddling closer into his boyfriend, sighing. "Liam…"

"I'm here, baby, sleep." Liam didn't know whether this was just sleep talking or not, when no answer came for a few seconds, he continued with the stroking, tightening his arm around the blonde boy, thinking that he was just dreaming.

Which turned out to be wrong though, Niall kept moving around before suddenly lifting his head, yawning cutely, his eyes flattering open a little, he still seemed very confused as he rubbed at them with his knuckles before looking at a smiling Liam, his sleepy face brightening up. "You're home!"

"I am." Hearing the genuine excitement caused Liam's tummy to do a flip, he had moved on to playing with Niall's fringe now, their faces just inches apart. "You still tired?"

"Yeah, but I'm not gonna go back to sleep. I missed you." Before Liam could answer, Niall tightened his arm around his neck before making those few centimeters disappear, pressing his lips on top of Liam's without hesitation.

It was slow, and warm, neither of them attempting to deepen it but Liam loved it anyways, the feeling of Niall's mouth against his, those tiny noises that always escaped the younger boy and all the tingles this left behind, it was heaven truly. As they pulled apart slightly, Liam kept his eyes closed, nudging his nose against Niall's to hear him giggle a little, making him smile instantly. "I missed you too, a lot."

They shared another short, sweet kiss, again initiated by Niall, but it was Liam then who kept going, pressing his lips to Niall's chin too, and his jaw, his cheek, nose, eyebrow, temple, just anywhere he was able to reach until the younger boy was laughing. "Stop, Li, it tickles!"

"I know you love this, babe, don't deny it." Because he did, there were no attempts at all to push Liam away, actually, Niall kept himself closer while still giggling as Liam stopped the kisses to just look at his boyfriend, a smile spreading on his lips that he couldn't have held back even if he had wanted to. "You look so cute right now, you have no idea." 

"I just woke up though…" A slight flush settled on his cheeks that Liam wasn't shy to kiss as well, feeling Niall wrapping his second arm around his neck as well, leaning into Liam's hand variously stroking his face. "How long have I been asleep for anyways?"

"Hm, Harry says an hour but who knows, I just got back like fifteen minutes ago. You almost killed me when I walked in." Chuckling a bit, Liam hadn't expected Niall's eyes to go wider, as if he took this literally.

"Why?" Cupping the side of Niall's face, it was hard to resist the urge and kiss the boy again, Liam just pecked his lips softly, smiling at him afterwards as Niall leaned into his palm.

"Because you're adorable when you're sleeping." There was the flush again, making Niall's cheeks even brighter because he hadn't cooled down from before, he looked down a bit, biting his bottom lip, making it so much harder for Liam to not squeeze him to death.

"You too…" Was all Niall gulped then, making Liam laugh unintentionally as he remembered this morning's conversation, still rubbing his thumb over Niall's skin when the younger boy looked up again, a bit confused, face still red. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, just… you know, Harry told me some stuff." Amused, Liam watched Niall's face turn darker before he quickly pretended not to know what was going on, all of a sudden turning his head to kiss the inside of Liam's hand, his fingers gripping a bit too tightly onto Liam's shirt.

"What _stuff_?" The cutest stuff in the world.

Liam just shrugged first of all, trying to act like it wasn't a big deal while sorting out Niall's hair. "For example that you seemed to really like our first date."

"Oh god." Immediately, all color drained from Niall's face, he stared at Liam with big eyes for a second before quickly burying his face against his shoulder again, groaning loudly and making Liam laugh, one day this boy would kill him for real. "I'm gonna strangle him, I told him not to tell you."

"Come on, babe, it's not like it's anything bad." Actually, it was the sweetest thing in the whole world, Liam hugged Niall tighter to his chest, kissing the top of his head before leaning his cheek against, still smiling to himself. "Don't be embarrassed, it made my day a lot better."

"At least something… how was work?" Horrible, but Liam shrugged anyways as Niall was done mumbling into his shirt, still not lifting his head, which was alright, as long as they could cuddle.

"It was fine, but I'd rather not think about it again to be honest. You wanna do something? Are you hungry or anything?" It wasn't too late, though Liam would've been completely okay with just staying here like this in bed, maybe lie down a bit and nap with Niall half on top with him, he still left Niall a choice, after all, they still had the whole night and next day. 

"Well, I'm not really hungry, because Harry made me have breakfast with him even though I already had breakfast at home. But we could… go for a walk or something, so I wake up a little bit." Liam wouldn't have minded to watch Niall sleep in his lap a little longer, but he nodded anyways as soon as the younger boy had lifted his head again, looking all cuddly and warm as he smiled before kissing Liam's lips once more, making attempts to move off of him. 

"My hoodie looks good on you by the way." Just to mention it, besides Liam had a great view on it as he watched Niall climbing out of bed, almost getting lost in the piece of clothing, he wasn't only a whole lot smaller than Liam but in general just skinnier and softer, perfect size for carrying around and for being wrapped up in Liam's arms.

"Oh… right, I was a bit cold." Niall just shrugged as he looked down on himself, smiling shyly while waiting for Liam to get to his feet as well, he felt cold now too without Niall's warm body pressed up against his and the blanket covering them up, maybe he should've just suggested a nap instead of saying yes to a walk. Although, there were great chances that it was freezing outside which would make Niall even more cuddlier than he already was all the time anyways, so… 

As soon as he was up, Liam immediately pulled Niall into him again, kissing his temple briefly, not planning on letting go anymore if not necessary, luckily Niall seemed to agree with him on that, he automatically adjusted, wrapping his arm around Liam's waist. They had gotten so good at this, it almost felt weird by now to walk without Niall holding his hand or pressing into his side.

On their way to the door, Liam attempted to cover Niall's eyes with his hands so he wouldn't have to see Harry and Louis snogging on the couch, though it had just been supposed to be a joke, Niall's laugh was so loud that they got glares for it and 'guess you two don't care if we're loud tonight', which was stupid really, because when _weren't_ they loud?

Going on walks with Niall had been a fun experience when they had done it the first time, because there were times when he would just hug and cling onto Liam's arm, then start deep conversations before going over into being silly and making Liam laugh every five seconds, and this happened almost every single time.

Besides that, Liam loved just holding the boy's hand while walking, nowhere in particular, just being able to silently show off with the fact that Niall was his, though no one walking by cared obviously, but that wasn't the point anyways. Just going anywhere with Niall at all while holding his hand was something that Liam hadn't known he could get so used to that he couldn't even imagine them stopping doing it at one point, none of this really, it was just too good.

"… and that's why I put that cat as my background for everything, because it was like the first pet I had, it wasn't even mine though, they had it long before they adopted me, they got it from an animal shelter, you know, and they got me from a foster home, maybe this sounds really sad, but it was kinda calming to have that cat because it had no parents either, like, we were in the same situation. Plus I was the only one she slept in a bed with." Liam looked at nothing besides Niall's face while they walked slowly, through the park now because that's where they had ended up, Niall clutching his hand tightly with both of his, rambling like he usually did, just this time, it made Liam feel really bad.

"What happened to the cat?" Hard to believe that Liam had been heartless enough to make fun of Niall's laptop background, even though it had been months ago already, two at least, and it had only been in his mind but still.

"It died, like one year before the thing with my adoptive brother happened." Fuck, Liam didn't even want to think about Niall crying over his cat, he didn't even know what was worse, the fact that everything that had happened in this boy's life had been so awful or that he could just talk about it like this now, shrugging a little before suddenly returning Liam's stare. "Well, I got you as my background now actually."

"You do what?" This was so completely off topic that Liam almost stopped them, not being able to believe what he had just heard. 

"Yeah, that one picture we took in my bed, remember? Although, I got lots of pictures of you when you're asleep too." Then he shrugged, as if this was completely normal, and Liam couldn't believe his ears. Who would want pictures of him when he was asleep?! Actually, who would want pictures of him, that was enough of a question.

"What do you need them for?" It's not like Liam didn't have pictures of Niall that Niall didn't know about, but that was different because Niall looked like an angel.

"For when I miss you." Niall was still smiling as he kept his eyes straight again, leaning his head against Liam's arm for a second.

"Oh…" Was all Liam brought out, his throat way too tight for a real response, he couldn't believe this, that he really had all this luck to get someone like Niall.

For a while, they stayed silent, Liam lost in thoughts, barely able to draw his eyes away from Niall's face, trying really hard not to let his tears spill over because that would've been embarrassing as hell, he was just so _happy_ right now it was ridiculous.

What made him snap back into reality was Niall stopping all of a sudden, just like this, he froze on the spot, causing Liam to almost stumble because they were still holding hands. "Niall?"

The younger boy blinked a few times, maybe to get the shock out of his face and act normally as he faked a cough. "Um… can we go back?"

"What? Why?" There had been no apparent reason, it was really hard for Liam to concentrate on this situation when he was still halfway thinking about Niall looking at pictures of him because he missed him. 

"Just, I… I'm cold. And it's late." Niall was obviously lying, for whatever reason, he even tried to fake a smile but Liam didn't buy it for even one single second, instead he stopped studying the boy's face, turning his head to look into the direction they had been headed towards.

There was nothing first of all, because the sun had already set so it was getting darker even though there were a few street lights, some bushes and benches. But then Liam listened, hearing somebody laugh from further away and his eyes fell onto a group of people, like three guys or something, he couldn't really tell from this distance, but he was pretty sure they weren't any older than himself, plus they didn't look as if they had noticed him and Niall in any way. But what else could've gotten the younger boy freezing on the spot? "You know them?"

"No." It came out way too fast, Liam looked back at Niall to see him torturing his bottom lip, staring at his feet, sighing. "…maybe a little."

"Who are they?" His behavior scared Liam, he stepped a little closer, using his free hand to push some hair out of Niall's forehead softly, trying to stay calm, it wouldn't help either of them if he let his nervousness show. What the hell was even going on?

Niall didn't answer immediately, he also refused to lift his head, kicking some stones with his shoes, voice almost only a whisper. "Nobody…"

"Niall, there's obviously something with these guys, why don't you wanna tell me? You can always tell me anything, you know that." And usually he did, just not today as it seemed like, it got Liam really frustrated, he was still stroking Niall's hair, moving his hand now to rub his arm instead, kissing his head in an attempt to maybe get Niall to talk. "What's wrong, Nialler?"

This time, the sigh was a lot heavier, causing Liam's confusion and worry to grow, he had already opened his mouth to say something else, hopefully calming, but Niall was a bit faster, reaching out with his free hand to play with the zipper of the jacket Liam was wearing. "They're from uni. Remember that day when… when we met because you were eating lunch with Harry and Louis? I was there with these guys, I used to hang out with them sometimes, because I didn't have any friends, they're in one of my lectures." 

"Why don't you wanna go past them?" Liam's confusion hadn't been solved in any way, he caught Niall's second hand in his as well, just holding it tightly, hoping Niall would look at him, but it didn't seem like he even thought about it.

"They hate me… " How could anybody hate Niall after getting to know him? Niall gulped after saying this, suddenly leaning forward to rest his forehead against Liam's shoulder. "They hate me now because I'm with you."

Oh. Well that changed things a little bit, Liam looked at those guys again over Niall's head, he had no idea what their names might be or whatever, he had actually never even seen them except for that one time. "Why?"

"It's not you personally, it's because, you know…" Finally, Niall lifted his head again, looking into Liam's eyes briefly, freeing one of his hands to move them between the two of them. "'cos you're a guy, they also… said some things about Louis and Harry then, I didn't know that they're such jerks before, I thought everyone's a bit too old for this already at uni, but apparently not. They always say stuff to me and I don't… I don't want to walk past them now and have them say the same to you."

Never ever had Niall even dropped any hints on this, he had simply chosen not to tell Liam, maybe he never would've if they hadn't gone for this walk. Liam wanted to seriously be angry about it, that he hadn't known that his own boyfriend got called stuff because of them dating, but it wasn't Niall he was mad at. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I don't want to upset you, it's okay, Li, really, let's just go home and-"

"No, we're not going home, come on." Because if they did, then this would carry on and if there was one thing Liam couldn't deal with it was knowing that Niall was feeling bad, he wouldn't let this happen, not if he could prevent it.

"Liam, no! No, please, let's not do this, it's okay, really, I don't want them to hurt you." Though this was really sweet of Niall, Liam didn't stop walking on normally, giving the younger boy no chance but to obey, he was nearly squishing Liam's hand now, grabbing onto his wrist at the same time. 

"Well, I don't want them to hurt you either." There was so much rage in Liam he wasn't even sure whether it really was a good idea to provoke those guys by walking past them just for that reason, like, Liam almost _hoped_ that they'd insult him just so he could make sure they would never dare to even look at Niall again, nobody could hurt his baby.

"But I'm scared, Li…" Niall was only whispering, maybe because they were getting closer, almost being able to hear what the guys were talking about now, it gave Liam a sting to know that he was doing this against Niall's will, but it would've felt worse to just let this be and not do anything to help.

"You don't have to be, Nialler, I'm protecting you, from anything, I promise." Luckily Niall was on his other side, putting Liam in between him and the guys, they were just hanging out at a bench, laughing a little too loud, maybe they were drunk, it almost sounded like it.

At first, Liam thought that nothing would happen at all, that they wouldn't even notice them, he almost got disappointed because he really just wanted to go and yell at those assholes, make sure they left Niall alone, but it sounded as if they were just talking about some random things or whatever, sounding pretty wasted, the smell of beer only becoming prominent now when they were this close.

When they had almost fully walked by and Niall had almost ripped Liam's arm out, Liam was about to say something to him, to calm him down seeing as nothing had happened anyways, but somebody else was faster than him. "Look, isn't that our fag boy? Hey, Niall, don't you wanna introduce us to your boyfriend?"

That comment alone would've been enough really, Liam stopped immediately, trying to contain himself as he turned around even if Niall was trying really hard to keep him from doing so, half hiding behind him then, his hand shaking in Liam's. What fucking losers, the guy who had talked was the one laughing the loudest, he couldn't even walk straight as he came a bit closer, grinning at Liam while his friends stayed behind, with a few bottles that looked a lot worse than just beer. 

"Why are you hiding, Niall? We're friends, aren't we? We even studied together, don't you remember?" He was so drunk really, Liam didn't even catch every word, all he knew was that it sounded pretty sarcastic, the dumb smile on the guy's face making it even harder to not just punch it right out of him. Liam wasn't planning on doing that though, he would've _loved_ to, really, but he couldn't get violent, that was no solution.

"Don't you fucking dare talking to him." Seeing as Niall wasn't going to answer, Liam, did it for him, pulling him a bit more behind him, seeing the guy's eyes shift from Niall to himself, the smile fading immediately. 

"And who do you think you are to tell me that, huh? Look at yourself, you're a pathetic loser and a fucking fag, bet that boy is not even good for a shag, you must be really desperate for it." Keep calm, Liam, just don't freak out.

"Insult me all you want but keep your bloody mouth shut about Niall, if I ever hear about you or any of your deformed friends talking to him or even just saying his name you're gonna regret it, I promise." Maybe talking to someone drunk like this wasn't a good idea, but Liam didn't give a fuck, if that guy was sober enough to act like this, he hopefully understood that Liam was being dead serious.

"Aww, are you trying to protect your little boyfriend now? This is disgusting, fucking fags, you should be ashamed to walk around like this in public, some people might want to keep their eyesight, go back home and stay there!" Niall let out a tiny whimper as the guy raised his voice, his friends were still staying back, just laughing like fucking idiots and Liam tried his hardest not to take a step back, it wasn't that he was scared, he was just so disgusted by this guy smelling like a whole pub. "Shut the fuck up, Niall, don't be such a damn pussy, it's a wonder you even found yourself someone who can stand you, you're not only a fag but also annoying as fuck, does he have to tape your mouth shut when he's fucking you?"

"One more word." Liam hissed, he was at the edge now, he could barely stand this, didn't even feel Niall's fingernails digging into his skin or how hard he pressed himself into Liam, almost fully behind him, all Liam did notice was the urge to fucking choke this asshole in front of him.

"Oooh, getting brave?! I'll tell you what, and I'm just saying it one time so better listen up, fucker." He stepped closer at this, his voice almost deadly now, eyes piercing into Liam's, but he refused to look away, his free hand forming into a fist all by itself. "People like you should get locked up, so go tell your other two fag friends that if you or any of them or even your little Niall here think that they can talk to me however they want them I'm gonna give you hell, get it? Your parents should've given all of you up for adoption, none of you even deserves to-"

No one would ever know how this sentence should've ended, though Liam was pretty positive that neither of them knew about Niall having gotten adopted for real, that was the point where he snapped, completely turning his brain off, blending out every memory or thought that would've stopped him from doing this.

Within a second, Liam had simply pulled his hand out of Niall's, punching the guy hard in the jaw, he fell back into it immediately, he had taken much bigger guys than this one, he didn't even notice what he was even doing, only that there was some scream behind him and then the guy was cringing on the floor, holding his face, probably in pain. Hopefully. 

The scariest part was, as Liam looked down at the figure on the ground, seeing the blood on his own knuckles and the guy's clothes, he couldn't even clearly remember how many times he had just punched him, or where, or how hard, all he knew was that he was breathing heavily, barely aware of what he said to the other two boys then, who were clearly terrified of him now. "Get this fucker out of my sight or you two will be next, I swear to god, and if you insult any of my friends again, I'm gonna fucking kill you, that's a promise." 

He meant it, right at this second, Liam really wanted to kill them, all of them, just punch them often enough and strangle them, but he didn't, he just watched them running up to their injured friend, throwing nervous glances at Liam as they tried to get him up, he wasn't passed out according to the whimpers. Plus, it's not like his ugly face could've gotten any worse. 

As they walked off, as quickly as somehow possible, Liam turned around slowly, his fist hurt a little now, but he himself hadn't gotten hurt in any way, that guy hadn't stood a chance, the fact that he had been drunk not helping.

It was the second Liam locked eyes with Niall that his pride for half knocking this guy out vanished, that the feeling inside of him for making him shut up like this turned into more than just guilt, suddenly, Liam became well aware of what he had done. And not for the first time. "Niall…"

The younger boy just stood there with wide eyes, staring at Liam as if he was going to punch him as well, arms wrapped around himself, shock written all across his face as he spoke, it was even noticeable in his voice. "What did you just do, Liam?!"

And at that, Liam wanted to start crying, he had been trying so damn fucking hard to not do this, to not hurt anybody physically ever again, whether they deserved it or not, and he had just gone and blown all of that up, in front of _Niall_ , sweet, poor Niall who had experienced enough violence for more than a lifetime. Fuck, what the hell was wrong with Liam?! It's like, he couldn't even control his own body anymore. "Ni, I'm sorry, god… I'm so sorry, baby, I shouldn't have, I just… I snapped and he was insulting you and I…I just wanted to make him shut up, I just wanted him to leave you alone!"

"By punching him two times in the face and five times into the stomach?!" Oh god, had Liam really done that?! Why didn't he even fucking recall it? He knew the answer to that one, because it was routine, after all these years, he still hadn't gotten away from it.

Tears were stinging in his eyes now, he just wanted to go and hug Niall, but he didn't dare moving, he'd understand if Niall would never wanna touch him again, what if he was scared of Liam now? Forever? "Ni… I'm so sorry, I'm not like this, I…I just wanted to protect you and I snapped, I shouldn't have done this in front of you…"

"No, you shouldn't have done this _at all_ , Liam." Niall didn't even sound mad or scared, just shocked, but that and the fact that he didn't sound as if he would ever forgive Liam for this forced him to look away from the younger boy's face. Why did Liam have to be such a fuck up? Everything had been so perfect, he had almost forgotten all of this shit and just like that he had gone and ruined it all.

"I'm sorry, Nialler…" Whispering, Liam wiped his face quickly, his tears felt as if they might spill over any second, he was just staring at the now empty path, trying to keep himself from shaking. "I understand if you… if you wanna leave… I can call Louis to take you home if you want to…"

There was some silence, Liam was so certain that Niall would agree, he barely even noticed starting to cry just like this, losing Niall would absolutely kill him, but the reason why was even worse, like, he hadn't even messed it up in some normal way, because of a fight or whatever other reason relationships ended. No, Liam had just fucking almost knocked some guy out in front of his boyfriend. "Are you crying, Liam?!"

"No, I'm not." Liam sniffed unintentionally, quickly attempting to dry his cheeks as he heard Niall coming closer, refusing to look at him though, he was so ashamed, really, he didn't even know how Niall could stand being around him any longer.

"Li, hey, I'm not gonna leave, or let Louis drive me anywhere, okay?" His voice had gone over to surprisingly soft, plus he was almost standing in front of Liam now, maybe he wanted to be nice while breaking up with him, this boy was too good for this world. "Look at me."

So Liam did, slowly, wiping his eyes again, hardly being able to see Niall's face like this, all sad, probably disappointed as well because he knew exactly what a fucking idiot Liam was and that he only realized this now. "You don't have to do this, Niall…"

"Do what? Liam, why are thinking that I'm gonna leave you or whatever? Because of _this_? I just didn't expect you to do this, I was just shocked but I'm not mad at you, Li, you did it for me after all, to protect me." This left Liam speechless for a second, he couldn't believe that Niall was about to forgive him, that he sounded more as if he was sorry for Liam as if mad at him, hell, he should've been pissed off with him and broken up a second later, couldn't he see that Liam was a fucking bad person, that he didn't deserve Niall and never had?! "Liam, talk to me." 

"What do you want me to say?! I fucked it up, alright, and you shouldn't be here trying to tell yourself that I didn't because it's true, I just almost knocked this guy out, hell, I wanted to kill him and I can't even fucking remember punching him this many times!" The tears didn't stop coming, but even Liam starting to yell didn't cause Niall to flinch or take a step back, actually, he stared at Liam, with sad eyes before suddenly taking his hands, looking down, completely ignoring what Liam had just half screamed around. 

"There's blood." Niall mumbled, referring to the red spots on Liam's knuckles, he didn't touch them, but the fact that he was rubbing his thumbs over the back of Liam's hands was reason enough to pull away from him, what was he doing, why hadn't he run yet, who knows when Liam would have his next outbreak, it seemed like he couldn't even control himself anymore, Niall should have been more than just scared.

"Yeah, not _my_ blood." Liam almost spit it out, he didn't want to be mean to Niall, he was just so disgusted with himself that it took up almost every space in his mind. "Niall, you really gotta get home and-"

"No, Liam! I'm not going anywhere, what's wrong with you?!" No one could blame Niall for starting to yell as well, but other than Liam had thought, he still wasn't backing off, actually, he grabbed Liam's wrist, never leaving his face out of sight. 

"I'm not good for you, Niall, I tried to tell you so many times and now you saw it yourself, I shouldn't be around _anybody_ , I tried to keep you away from me and now look where we are! You cannot seriously tell me that it doesn't bother you, I saw your face just minutes ago, you were scared as hell and you should be!" That was more than Liam had ever intended to tell Niall, even though he owed him a really big explanation now, but his only concern was the fact that the boy still not seemed to get it, actually, the only expression in his face was realization. Was Niall even okay, did he understand what Liam was saying, hadn't he just seen exactly everything that had happened?!

"That was why? Why you were so mean to me, why you tried to push me away all the time?! Because you were scared to hurt me?" Yes. Yes, that had exactly been the reason, well that and the fact that he was bloody insane and unpredictable as Niall had just become witness off, so why had his mouth dropped open like this as if Liam's behavior was a good explanation for acting like an asshole?

"I'm still scared of-"

Liam didn't get the chance to finish, before he knew what was happening, Niall had let go of his wrist, only now he almost launched himself at Liam instead, cupping his face with both hands to pull him a bit more down to his height, getting onto his tiptoes and kissing him, harder and more eager than any time before.

For a while, Liam tried to push Niall away, but he wouldn't have been able to do this without risking to hurt the other boy, besides, Niall was clinging to him, not letting go or loosening his grip, suddenly parting his lips and as he tried to nudge Liam's apart with his tongue, he simply gave in with a sigh, holding onto Niall's small waist.

It was such an inappropriate thing to do, after what had happened, in the middle of some park at night, and above all, that was the most heated snog they had ever head, it was all Niall at first, pressing himself into Liam, kissing him deeply, not letting off, making Liam groan involuntarily, grabbing tighter onto the younger boy, almost turning his brain off again. The problem was just, he had wanted this for a really long time, to kiss Niall like this, plus the fact that he was so desperate, confused and disappointed in himself because of before, and scared that he might lose Niall now made him forget everything else as well, just wanting to show Niall how much he meant to him.

And he did the exact opposite. "Liam… Liam, stop…"

Immediately at hearing this, Liam almost jumped away from the younger boy, only now realizing how tightly he had held onto his hips, it must've really hurt him. Shit. "Ni, I'm so sorry, what did I do?"

Fuck, was there anything Liam could do right?! Just one single thing, he had talked all big about not wanting to hurt him, and now here he was staring at Niall's slightly flushed face, the way he had to catch his breath, rubbing his side a bit, but shaking his head anyways. "It's okay… it wasn't your fault, I just… it just hurt a little, but it's okay, I-I'm not used to… to doing this stuff you know, it's… it's like when…"

Then he broke off all of a sudden, making Liam want to jump in front of a car right at this second. He hadn't only held Niall way too tightly, he didn't need the boy to finish his sentence to know what he had meant, that this reminded him of when he had been a kid, of when his fucking family had abused him, it's what Liam had always been scared about ever since they had started dating, that he'd push Niall too far, wake up old memories. This hurt more than expected, that he had been so rough that it had felt like _this_ for Niall. "Ni, I… I got carried away, I would never hurt you, I'm so sorry…"

As soon as Niall looked up, meeting Liam's eyes, his face changed from slightly pained and breathless to shocked, he almost stumbled over his words because he was in such a hurry to bring them out. "It's okay, really, it was my fault, I know you were worked up, Liam, I'm sorry, it's all good. You didn't hurt me, I know you would never do that or force me into anything, I know, it's alright, I'm okay." 

Of course Liam knew what Niall was trying to achieve with that, he was trying to take the blame, trying to give Liam an excuse and make him believe that neither of this had been his fault. But the truth was, Liam hadn't only lost his temper and punched some guy bleeding, now he had also hurt his own boyfriend because of being too eager. Because he couldn't fucking control himself. "Let's go home."

Liam didn't know what else to say or do, he was scared of touching Niall again, touching anybody again really, he couldn't even cry anymore because of how shocked he was, about how quickly the last few minutes had changed everything. Actually, how they had destroyed it more like. "Liam, it really wasn't your fault, I wanted it, it wasn't you."

"It's fine, Niall." It wasn't.

The walk home was really quiet, Niall tried saying something a few times but Liam barely listened, he couldn't believe that any of this had happened, that he had lost it so easily, two times in a row, that he had hurt _Niall_. What if they would fight at some point, what if Liam would get mad and punch him? He would never ever do that, or that's what he'd like to believe, but it seemed as if Liam didn't know himself that well after all, but hadn't he known that all along? That him and Niall should have never even become friends? Yet he had let it happen and now he'd never be able to forgive himself for any of this, it's like he was at zero again.

When they got back to the flat, Niall had given up on trying to take Liam's hand or talk to him, Liam didn't dare checking to see whether Niall had only sniffed those few times or had actually started to cry, he didn't want to know because if those were tears on Niall's cheeks then he for sure wouldn't have been able to not wrap him up into his arms, but he really couldn't do this right now.

"Hey, guys, back already?" The fact that Louis and Harry were all happy and sitting on the couch watching a movie was like a punch into Liam's stomach, he could barely take the sight, just quickly taking his shoes off, not even waiting for Niall.

"Yeah, um… can Niall stay with you for a while I gotta… think about something." Ignoring their confused faces, Liam just walked past them towards his room, he couldn't be around the younger boy now, look at him and feel guilty all over again for what he had done, he needed time to figure this out, alone.

"What?! Liam, you can't just-"

But whatever Niall was trying to say, Liam blocked it out by throwing the door shut, locking up behind himself, knowing exactly that the younger boy would try and get in here, but he couldn't let Niall see him cry yet another time.

 

————————

 

An hour.

That's how long Liam stood not coming back out of his room, Niall had tried really hard to get him to open up, but he had put his earphones in after a while, not being able to stand hearing Niall's voice when he was so close to crying. 

He hadn't come to a conclusion in any way, not even close, Liam literally had no idea what to do now, everything he had been so afraid of had suddenly become reality, and now he was in too deep to go back, Niall meant the freaking world to him, he couldn't let him go just like that. But if it was for his own good, Liam wasn't sure if he even had a choice anymore.

He locked the door up after finally having calmed down a bit, trying to be as quiet as possible, just in case, his tears had all dried up now yet Liam still felt so bad, he had considered jumping out of his window just five minutes ago.

There were voices coming out of the living room, so he went for that direction, planning on just walking in but changing his mind last second, leaning against the wall instead shortly before he would've been around the corner and given himself away, but he settled for just listening, not quite knowing what to even say to Niall yet.

"… gotta ask him that yourself, Ni, we promised him not to tell anybody." Liam closed his eyes at Harry's words, he knew what this was about, now there was no way anymore for him to get out of this.

"I don't wanna push him… I was waiting for him to tell me, I wanted him to _want_ to tell me…" Niall's sniff broke Liam's heart all over again, he hadn't felt close to alright for a while now but this was just making it worse.

"Look, it's always been hard for him to talk about it and it's affected him so much ever since I met him, that's why we're so happy that he's got you. If he doesn't wanna talk about it then don't be sad, it's not that he doesn't trust you, because I'm pretty sure he trusts you more than anybody else, but seeing what happened… I do think he owes you an explanation." Harry was right, Liam had to tell Niall, finally, and it's not that he didn't want him to know, it was more that he was scared of the reaction. But he deserved to know it anyways, especially now and despite how this might carry on, besides, he had just become witness of a few things anyways, it couldn't get much worse.

"Do you think…" Then Niall broke off and Liam heard him taking a shaky breath that hurt him even while standing so far away. "D-Do you t-think h-he's gonna b-break up with m-me?" Fuck, if Niall didn't stop crying then Liam wouldn't be able to keep himself together for much longer before he'd join, what the hell was he supposed to do?! 

"No, hey, come on, don't cry, Louis and I will kill him if he breaks up with you. But he won't anyways, he likes you a lot, you should see him talking about you, and how stupidly happy he got this morning when I told him that you thought he looked cute when he's asleep." Now Liam's tears almost spilled over, he pressed his eyes shut tighter, holding his breath so he wouldn't give himself away. 

"I t-told you n-not to t-tell h-him!" But Niall did join a little bit though when both Harry and Louis laughed, Liam was so thankful for those two right now, they always knew how to cheer people up, they had done it for him as well countless times. 

"Or his face when he walked in and saw you sleeping in his hoodie, he's never looked at anybody like this. Actually, he's never looked at anybody at all, you're very special to him, I can promise you that one." True.

They talked a bit more, mostly trying to calm down Niall though so that's when Liam took a breath, still not knowing what to do or say, but he'd have to do this at some point, besides, he felt really guilty for just locking himself away like this. Again, Niall deserved someone much better than him, someone who could control his temper once in a while maybe. 

As soon as Liam walked around the corner, they fell into silence, it was almost embarrassing actually, if it hadn't already been anyways, the only thing Liam kept his eyes on was Niall though, he was sitting at one end of the couch, his legs pulled to his chest, face wet and flushed, and for a moment, Liam just stopped to stare at him, so guilty, it could've eaten him alive. "Li…"

It was barely a whisper, there was no time to react to it because Niall had already jumped up, throwing himself at Liam without wasting a second, his legs wrapping around Liam's waist and he automatically moved to support the boy, closing his eyes for a second, Niall almost strangling him with how tight his arms were around Liam's neck but it felt good. "I… I think we gotta talk."

"I'm so s-sorry, Li… please don't leave me. Please." Niall was smart enough to have figured it out, that Liam had played with the thought for the last hour, but he was just as clueless as he had been before, pressing his face in between Niall's shoulder and neck much like the younger boy was doing to him as well, just holding him tightly so he wouldn't slip. He had never held him like this before, but it was surprisingly easy, plus it was closer than they could've gotten any other way, which was a good thing, even after only an hour of being in another room, Liam had started to miss him terribly.

Answering Niall would've gotten too complicated, after all, Liam hadn't even made up his mind yet, he just slowly opened his eyes after kissing Niall's ear, accidentally looking right at Louis and Harry, who had gotten up, but looked a bit worried as they checked Liam's face, probably waiting for his reaction. "I have to tell you something, Ni."

"O-Okay…" Niall sniffed rather loudly, still clinging to Liam, so tight, Liam wouldn't have been surprised if they would've stayed like this forever. Not that he'd mind.

Almost immediately, Louis took Harry's hand to pull him past them, not without an intense look at Liam, but it seemed kinda sympathetic as well, as if to wish him good luck or something. Hell, he could really need that right now.

As soon as they were gone, Liam held Niall for a little bit longer, walking over to the couch before loosening his arms, gently getting Niall to stand on his own feet again, kissing his forehead briefly and wiping at his wet cheeks a bit with his thumbs in an attempt to dry them. Seeing him cry was the worst thing, but it was even more horrible now to know that Liam had been the one to put those tears there. "Alright, come here."

Just because he wanted to see Niall cheer up a bit, Liam opened his arms for the younger boy as soon as he had sat down, having a lapful of boy a second later, Niall didn't cheer up in any way, but he was pretty eager to press himself close into Liam, arms around his neck, sniffing some more. "Are you mad at me?"

"No, I'm not, babe, you did nothing wrong, nothing at all, okay? It's all my fault." Before Niall could protest, because he already had his mouth open to do so, Liam went against his plan and just cut him off with a kiss, just lightly, one that he knew was alright because they had done it a million times. If he'd ever dare to go any further though was another question. "Let me attempt to explain, okay? I know I probably… should've told you a long time ago, it's just… I was scared."

The confession had him holding tighter onto Niall, not being able to look at those baby blue eyes right now, not even as Niall leaned in a little closer, brushing his lips over Liam's jaw, obviously not minding the stubble. "Don't… it's just me."

Which was the only reason why Liam tried to get the courage to just say it out loud, staring at the turned off TV while he took a breath, just focusing on how Niall's weight felt on top of him, and how they were wrapped up in each other's arms and warmth. All he knew was that he didn't wanna lose any of this, didn't wanna lose Niall for anything in this world.

"Aright… you know, um, my mum died when I was really little, I… I can't even remember her. So I grew up with just my dad, he… he never remarried, he had a few girlfriends and stuff but nothing really serious anyways. But he was, um… pretty depressed because of what had happened to my mum, you know, it was a car accident, she was driving and I was in the car as well but in the backseat, it was raining and well… she was killed instantly, but not even a scratch on me. My dad, he never seemed to get over it and he was never really interested in me, he used to insult me all the time, tell me to go to my room and stay there because he didn't wanna see me. He also blamed me a lot for my mum's death, told me that it was for sure me who had distracted her, I … I don't know what really happened though, I can't remember it, I just remember how scared I have been of cars ever since then, like, it's better now, but I still don't like driving too much.

"When I was like, five or so, my dad hit me for the first time. He had taken up drinking, so maybe that influenced him too, I don't know really, I was too young to properly remember what happened. But he kept this up, just, the older I got the harder he thought he could hit me and so he did. When I got to school, I was pretty aggressive, you know, I didn't have anybody, just a dad at home who punched me all the time for whatever stupid thing.

"I didn't know any better, I thought it was normal, I thought if you got a problem with someone, you go and you hit them and insult them. And damn, I did know a lot of curse words even when I was just 7 years old. They kicked me out of several schools, because I constantly hurt the other kids, nobody questioned why I always had bruises myself, they always assumed it was just because I got into fights all the time. The truth was, whenever they had to call my dad in and explain to him what had happened, he just took me home and instead of sitting me down to talk, he hit me as well for causing him so much trouble.

"When I was 16, I still hadn't changed. In fact, I might've even gotten more aggressive, my dad was still treating me the same at home, the situation was still exactly the same. I did have friends, I was actually pretty popular and the only reason why was because they were scared of me, scared because everybody knew how many schools had kicked me out and for what reason, I got this boy into hospital a month before, I knocked him out and I never even apologize to him, all he had done was laugh when I tripped or something stupid like that. I really was a brat, and an asshole, but I never questioned my behavior, I thought it was only fair, you know, to hurt them because I had gotten hurt my whole life as well.

"Anyways, when I was 16 there was this girl in my class and I really liked her, she was like the only person I treated somehow like a human being. It was a silly relationship, absolutely mindless and dumb, but I really did like her, I trusted her, something I had never done before, and after a while, I told her about my dad, that he hit me, and she promised not to tell anybody.

"There was this party at some of my friend's house like a day later, and nearly everybody was there, I got pretty drunk, because I always did, I was really wasted, I do know that I slept with my girlfriend though, she was drunk too but we both wanted to so… sorry, for telling you this, Ni. But, well, I woke up the next day and she was gone, so I went home as well, not thinking anything bad.

"On monday in school, everybody knew about my dad, every single person fucking knew it and of course I knew who had done it, there was only one person who I had told after all. So I confronted her as soon as possible, but she started yelling around about how much she hated me and that it served me right that everybody knew about my dad, that I was just a loser with big words and that I'd never have the guts to hit her anyways. So I hit her, not too hard, I regretted it like one second afterwards, but she ran away before I could apologize.

"Before I knew it, she had told everybody that I had raped her at the party, she showed the bruise around that she had from me hitting her, claiming that it was from that night and everyone believed her. To be fair though, I would've believed her as well. They threw me out of school, of course, I mean, no one could proof that I had raped her since of course it hadn't even happened, but they had just been waiting for a way to get rid of me anyways.

"I never knew why she told everybody the only secret that I had, I think she got scared of me as well, but she knew I'd lose it if she just broke up with me, so she used the first chance she had. The thing was, I really did like her, you know, but I never got a chance to talk it out with her. My dad was so mad at me after this, he was seconds away from sending me to a boarding school, but he didn't want to waste that much money on me luckily, and so I came into the same school that Harry was in.

"Only after all of this, I had started questioning my behavior, after losing the only person that had ever meant something to me, I stopped fighting and being this aggressive, I tried to keep away from everybody. I knew I was a bad person, and I finally saw it, that everyone had just been scared of me instead of actually being my friend for liking me, even my own girlfriend, so I kept quiet instead, never talked to anybody, I didn't think I could trust anybody again. I really hated myself, you know, because my dad was the person I hated the most, so much I wanted to kill him sometimes, yet I had exactly become like him, all my life almost, I had acted like he had, and I decided it was better to keep away from people instead of being like this.

"Well, it was hard to keep Harry away, you know how all of this has ended obviously, it's just… today, that guy… he really provoked me and… and it felt so familiar to hit him, it scared me. And then I hurt you as well just like… like I hurt my girlfriend and I'm scared. I'm scared I'm not gonna watch myself and hurt you again, I would never ever want to do this, but I had also thought that I'd never hit anybody again, and I managed to not do it for three years and then…" Liam had to catch his breath after this, he hadn't dared looking at Niall just once, the boy was still in his lap, he hadn't tensed up or tried to get away, so Liam took that as a good sign. Or maybe he should've taken it as a bad one, he knew it would've been better for Niall to run.

"Li… that's horrible, I'm so sorry." Hearing this out of Niall's mouth sounded wrong, because compared to what HE had been through, Liam had barely gotten a scratch.

"It's okay, I didn't tell you so you'll feel sorry for me, all of this was my fault anyways, I just told you so you know… and so you know why today happened…" And also to give him an excuse to leave Liam, but as he felt Niall's lips pressed up against his cheek, that obviously wasn't going to be the case.

"But I do feel sorry for you, Liam. You were just a kid, and how else would you have acted if you didn't know any better? And you're not like your dad, you stopped, didn't you, even if it's sad that you had to isolate yourself from people because of all of this. But today had nothing to do with any of this, Li, I promise. If I would've been braver then I would've hit that asshole as well, and you didn't hurt me after all, you just held my waist a little too tight because you enjoyed the kiss and that's not exactly a crime." Niall seriously managed to let out a chuckle, he was playing with Liam's hair now, a crooked smile playing around his lips as Liam finally looked at him again, speechless by the boy's kindness.

"I still hit him until he was bleeding, and I didn't even notice at first, I was even proud of myself afterwards. And then to make it even worse I reminded you of… of your past and that's really the last thing I ever wanted, it's why I always wait for you to do something because I don't wanna hurt you or scare you and now…" Now it was all ruined because he had done it anyways, Liam looked away when he felt tears pooling in his eyes, tightening his arm around Niall a bit, not too tight though. 

"Liam, do you even realize what you're saying? You're calling yourself a bad person for wanting to protect me?" The only thing Niall could really need protection from was Liam himself. 

"I _am_ a bad person, and you're right, I'm not like my dad, I'm even worse. At least he has hit only one single person, but do you know how many people I hurt in my life, physically I mean? Because I lost count and if that doesn't say anything…" Just the fact alone that they were talking about it like this, as of it was alright, Liam knew what he had done, but he also knew that he couldn't go back and change it, he'd have to live with this forever.

Instead of answering immediately, Niall kissed Liam's cheek again, and then another time afterwards before bringing his lips to Liam's ear, causing goosebumps to rise on his arms against his will. This wasn't right, Niall shouldn't have been so nice and understanding, and Liam shouldn't have enjoyed it, he didn't deserve it after all of this. "For what it's worth… I think you're amazing." 

The breath hitting Liam's skin caused tingles all over his body that he tried to ignore, which was hardly possible, all he wanted to do was turn his head and kiss Niall again, just hold him close and believe every single word he spoke. But he just couldn't, he knew even less now why Niall was still even here and being so sweet to him, there was literally nothing in this world that could get this boy to change his mind about Liam, was there? "It's worth a lot to me, but Niall-"

"Shh, Liam, listen to me, okay?" Turning his head slowly, Liam received a peck on the lips before feeling Niall move his hand to his cheek, causing his breathing to increase a little as he watched the boy putting up a pretty concentrated face trying to lift the corner of Liam's mouth with his thumb while talking. "Look, whatever happened, happened, alright? What your dad did to you was absolutely horrible, you didn't become this way because of nothing, Li, and the way you described it you weren't hitting anybody because you actually liked to see them in pain. And about the bitch that is your ex, sorry for that but it's true, she was asking for it, I mean it wasn't alright to hit her but you never did anything to her, did you? Yet she still went and told your secret, besides… I mean the thing she made up about you raping her was a lot worse than what you have done to her, I mean you got thrown out of bloody school. And you can repeat that you're a bad person for as many times as you want but it won't make it true, Liam, because you're not. You were actually so worried about hurting anybody that you were rather all by yourself, and you're feeling guilty for your actions, which says a lot about you as well. It doesn't matter to me what you were doing when you were younger, because I like you the way you are _now_. And you're far from being a bad person, trust me, you're actually one of the most caring people I've ever met." Coming out of Niall's mouth, Niall, who Liam had treated like dirt when they had met, it was hardly believable. The younger boy had given up now on trying to make Liam smile, he just cupped his cheek now, rubbing his thumb of Liam's skin slowly, other hand still tangled into his hair.

"But-"

"No but's, Liam. I'm serious about this, forget about today, you're never gonna hurt me or anybody again, and if you do hit somebody it won't be because you're like your dad or because you can't control yourself, it'll be because of a god damn good reason like today. He's never gonna insult me again, that's for sure." Well, that really was the _only_ good outcome, Liam still sighed anyways, though it felt so good to hear Niall saying all of this, he sounded so convinced by it too, nuzzling his nose against Liam's all of a sudden, maybe to make him laugh.

"You're wonderful, you know that?" He truly was, the most wonderful person there was, Liam cracked a little smile, getting a really bright one back that almost looked as if it might split Niall's face in half. 

"I'm just telling you the truth, Li, my taste in guys is pretty good, you know." Of course he'd make a joke, leave it to Niall to make a situation less serious, he let his hand drop from Liam's face now, wrapping it back against his neck before snuggling his head down as well. "I'm so lucky I got you."

"Actually, you're not that lucky at all to-"

"Sh, don't ruin this moment." So Liam stayed silent after Niall giggled again, like in that cute way that had Liam's heart beating faster, he had started stroking Niall's hair, leaning his cheek against the boy's head like he always did, they had done this way too often already. And it also wouldn't be the last time as it seemed like, even if Liam had feared that for a bit before, that he'd actually have to break up with Niall to keep him safe. But doing this wouldn't help anything besides hurting him, Niall was too good at being persistent, too good at convincing Liam. And he needed this boy way too much as to ever let him go. "Can I still ask something, Li?"

"Anything." They hadn't spoken for a moment, just cuddled into each other, Liam had thought about what he was going to do now but had still found no answer, the only thing certain was that Niall had sure as hell managed to calm him down a lot.

"Do you still have… contact with your dad?" Right, Liam had never really finished the story, so he sighed now, nuzzling his face into Niall's blonde hair, hearing him hum softly in approval. 

"No… I deleted his number from my phone the day I moved out, so like, a bit over a year ago, we haven't spoken ever since. I just… I hate him so damn much, you know, and I can't help it but I really do, he's been hitting me all my life, up until the day I left, and I never once tried to hit back. But he's tried to call me actually, on my birthday… you know, when you found me standing frozen in the hallway. That was the reason, I didn't pick up but I was still pretty shocked, I still don't know why he'd call me." Liam had deleted this from his mind as soon as possible, but talking about it now made him think again. Why had his dad actually called him? To wish him a happy birthday? He had never failed to tell Liam how much he disliked him, he had never acknowledged his birthday anytime before, so why now?

"Oh… I've been wondering about what's thrown you off track so much. Do you plan on never speaking to him again?" Yeah, that was exactly Liam's plan, he felt a little bad saying this to Niall though, because he had lost his real parents yet here Liam was choosing to cut one of them out of his life by choice, but he wasn't going to start lying now. 

"Yeah, I just… I don't need him, I'm much happier without him and no matter how many times he'd apologize, which he wouldn't anyway, it would never make up for anything." Not even close. Kissing Niall's head a few times, Liam felt himself getting tired, despite all of this, the cuddling and the comfortable position, plus Niall's warm body against his was making him rather sleepy.

"I understand that, I wouldn't wanna talk to him anymore either if I were you. Have Harry and Louis ever met him?" Yet another story Liam didn't like talking about, but now that he was into it, he could as well tell Niall everything.

"Harry has… you know, he's been trying to be my friend because some guys were making fun of his stupid curls and when they asked me if I also thought that he looked like I girl I told them no and that I couldn't have cared less. It was stupid really, but he kept running after me and we had to do this partner project for some class sometime, and I told him he couldn't come over to my house but he came anyways. Well since my dad wasn't there I had no choice but to let him in somehow, and it all went quite alright until my dad came home and… Harry was there when he hit me, not so hard, but yeah. Since then I was terrified Harry might tell anybody, so I kinda… befriended him just so he'd like me and keep it a secret. I told him that afterwards though, that I didn't actually like him in the beginning, but he became like the first true friend I ever had." At least that was a nice memory, even if Liam could still remember very well how overwhelmed he had been meeting Louis as well, but he was so thankful for those two really, and for Zayn as well.

"I'm glad you've got him… and Louis and Zayn. And it also makes me quite proud, that I'm one of the few people that you like I mean…" Liam's heart hurt a little at this thinking how much trouble Niall had had to go through because of him, he slowly moved now, so he wouldn't scare Niall, pulling the younger boy on top of him as he carefully lied down onto his back, Niall's face still in the crook of his neck, breathing against his skin evenly. 

"Don't tell them but I might even like you the most." He chuckled over himself as Niall let out a huff before joining, his fingers drawing small patterns onto Liam's chest over his shirt as he slipped halfway between him and the back of the couch, not lifting his head, they both were too tired now.

"Maybe I like you the most out of every person I've ever met as well, but just maybe." Niall joked, but quietly before having to yawn, his leg between Liam's moving a little, heartbeat steady against Liam's, causing his eyes to drop closed slowly. "Maybe I'm even in love with you, who knows…"

They had never said it like this, never even said anything close to 'I love you', but Liam's stomach got all warm as he heard those words, squeezing Niall with the arm that he had across his waist, putting his free hand over Niall's on his chest then."Tell me once you found out, I might feel the same."

There was a very quiet chuckle, breath hitting Liam's throat, then he was pretty sure Niall had passed out against him, it took Liam like 5 seconds to follow right after him, not bothering with a blanket, he felt pretty warm already.


	8. Chapter 8

Liam's nose filled with some smell he wasn't too familiar with, it was a bit cold in bed as he moved, hand searching for Niall next to him but finding nothing besides empty sheets, which was weird because usually he always slept half on top of Liam, if not fully. "Babe…?"

Nothing. Liam let his eyes flatter open slowly, just barely being blended by the light before there was some weight landing right on top of him, cutting off his yawn. "Good morning, sleepyhead." 

It took some time before Liam realized what was going on, he rubbed his eyes a bit, blinking a few times. Niall was sitting right on top of him, legs on either side, still dressed in Liam's shirt and some sweatpants, grinning while eating the waffles on his plate. So that's where the unfamiliar smell had come from, no one ever made breakfast in this flat, no one ever used the stove to begin with actually. "What're you doing, Ni…?" 

"Louis made waffles, you want some?" Before Liam could progress this information, just dumbly staring into his boyfriend's cute face, Niall held the fork in front of his lips, it was drenched in maple syrup, almost dripping down onto Liam's face if he hadn't quickly eaten it, not really sure if he wanted to, he just didn't wanna get sticky. 

"Why… why did he make waffles? Is he sick?" There was no other explanation.This was more than confusing, Liam was still half asleep, bringing his hands up to hold Niall's waist out of instinct because he always did.

There was a laugh before Niall just leaned forward, almost emptying his plate on Liam as he pressed their lips together, it tasted extremely sweet, because of Niall having the maple syrup all over, but Liam didn't mind. As long as he got to kiss that boy, he'd take everything on him. "He's not sick I think, I don't know really, there's probably poison in there but they're _so good_ , Liam. I mean if I die eating them then at least I died happy." 

"That's nice…" Liam mumbled, licking his lips because they were quite sticky now before half letting his eyes drop closed again, he was too tired for a proper conversation, though he would've loved to stare at Niall's bed head a little longer, he could hardly manage to.

"Hey! This was your time to say that I please shouldn't die because you'd miss me way too much." He was just kidding obviously, chuckling when Liam couldn't hold back another yaw, stuffing the last piece of waffle into his mouth.

"'m sorry…" Really though, Liam wasn't even sure if he even knew what this conversation was about, his eyes were closed again, not even Niall moving on top of him and making noises with the plate and fork bothered him. It was kinda soothing though, to know Niall was there, because he had almost panicked before when he hadn't found him next to him, so maybe he could just nap a little longer, still holding Niall loosely.

"I'll forgive you, just because you're so cute when you're sleepy and confused." The fact that Liam didn't blush at this was proof for how damn close he was to passing out. Niall was almost only whispering then after waiting for a response, Liam would've answered but he was simply too tired to just move his little finger. "Did you fall asleep, Li…?"

Apparently assuming that he had, Niall didn't say anything for a while then, just remaining seated on Liam's stomach before suddenly moving forward, spreading his whole weight out on top of him, apparently fully lying down, kissing Liam's lips again before snuggling his head into the crook of his neck like he did so often. Even though there was a blanket between them, Liam felt Niall's warmth through all the layers, or maybe it was because he hadn't worn a shirt to bed last night. 

There was some shifting, some noises leaving Niall's mouth until he finally seemed to have found a comfortable position on top of his boyfriend, pressing his lips against Liam's throat all of a sudden, mumbling hotly against his skin. "Love you…"

Liam's eyes almost shot open at this but he kept himself together, after all, Niall thought that he was deep asleep, which maybe was the only reason why he had even said that. Or dared saying it actually, because they usually never did stuff like this.

Since that incident at the park, a whole week had passed by, it would be a lie to say that Liam had managed to stop thinking about it, or stopped looking at Niall when the younger boy didn't notice and tried to figure what would be best for him. 

But what exactly was there to be done when Niall was so incredibly irresistible, when he did stuff like this morning all the time, randomly jumping on Liam's back when they saw each other at uni and kissing his neck and lips while giggling, nonstop showing him how much he liked him, even telling him things like _this_ now. As guilty as Liam felt about what had happened, he couldn't let go of this boy, he needed him too much, and apparently, for some very twisted reason, that feeling seemed to be mutual.

Ever since, Liam was careful about touching Niall, even more than he had been before, always aware of how tight he gripped him or whatever, it was the least he could do, make sure with everything he had that nothing close to this would ever happen again. After all, Niall believed that he was a good person, he depended on Liam and he couldn't disappoint those baby blue eyes.

Still, he never answered to what Niall had mumbled against his skin, couldn't somehow, he had never told anybody that he loved them, not like this, he couldn't just throw those words around could he? Without even being sure about wether Niall wouldn't actually be better of with somebody else, who knows what might happen, it would've hurt even more, to tell Niall that and then stepping out of line again.

For a while, Niall didn't move so Liam didn't dare to either though he felt pretty awake now, leaving his eyes closed anyways, slowly moving his hand to pet Niall's hair lightly, wishing he could've come back under the blanket as well, but that sounded a little bit too exhausting and it was pretty comfortable like this anyways. 

It was only when there was somebody walking in the hallway that Niall stirred a little, not lifting his head from where it was buried in the crook of Liam's neck though. Not that he would've let him, it was way too nice to have Niall cuddled in so close, right on top of him, doing nothing besides lying there and listening to each other breathing.

Of course, that silence couldn't last forever. "Niall, didn't you say you just wanted to go wake up Liam? That doesn't look like it, what're you guys even doing?"

"Go away, we're napping." Niall's voice was all groggy and sleepy, he sounded anything besides angry which almost made Liam laugh, instead, he just turned his head a bit, blinking them open to see Louis lean in the doorway. 

"Listen, I didn't make breakfast just so you two can sleep it away, get up, c'mon." This was more than questionable, Louis never made breakfast, he probably needed to ask them for a favor or whatever, now Liam wanted get up even less. "Liam, I can see that you're awake, don't pretend."

"I'm not pretending, Lou… " Groaning a bit, Liam rubbed his hand over Niall's back before attempting to sit up, with Niall protesting a bit, trying to keep him down, but he didn't really have much of a chance since he was too light. "Happy?"

Because of the change of position, Niall was now in Liam's lap, straddling him, moving his arms to wrap them around Liam's neck while resting his cheek on the older's shoulder, his energy from before completely gone. "Not particularly, but I will be if you come to the kitchen."

"I won't…" Niall pressed closer into Liam while mumbling into his bare skin as Liam wrapped his arms around the younger boy's waist, kissing the top of his head before yawning quietly. 

"We'll be there in a sec." Actually, Liam just wanted him to leave, so he could cuddle a little longer with his baby, because Niall was so snuggly right now and warm and holding onto him, he just wanted to never move again.

"Ten minutes." Louis glared one more time before leaving, something was definitely wrong with him and Liam wasn't sure if he wanted to find out. Besides, he had something else to focus on right now anyways.

"Ni? You think you can survive getting up?" It didn't seem like it at the moment, even if Niall lifted his head after a while, just looking at Liam with half closed eyes, shaking is head then, not minding Liam kissing his nose. "You managed to before as well."

"Before was different… I was really hungry but now I'm not anymore and you're holding me, I don't wanna go anywhere…" As if to proof a point, Niall leaned forward a bit to brush his lips over Liam's, just lightly, not really kissing him, he seemed to be too tired to do that, but it still had all the same affects on Liam anyways. Goose bumps. Tingling. His stomach twisting. 

"I can carry you." Liam offered quietly, his mouth brushing against Niall's because he hadn't leaned back yet, breath mixing. 

"Hm…" Niall seemed to consider it, his eyes dropping closed immediately at Liam stroking the fringe out of his forehead, free arm around Niall's waist because he seemed very close to passing out, it was the cutest thing ever. The younger boy pulled back a bit, looking down as he slowly ran a finger across Liam's collar bone. "But only if you keep your shit off…"

That had Liam laughing loudly, because it hadn't been his intend to impress anybody by sleeping in only sweatpants, he had just been too lazy to go look for a shirt, yet when he had come from the bathroom to join Niall in bed, the boy's eyes had nearly fallen out. It'd be a lie to say that Liam hadn't been positively surprised by how Niall had kept staring at him afterwards, thinking that he had been doing it secretly. In reality though, Liam had just been good at pretending that he hadn't noticed, it's not like Niall had never seen him changing before or vice versa, but it had still been the first time that they had gone to sleep like this, with Niall cuddling right up against him, only one shirt between them instead of two. "If you keep clinging to me like this then I won't have much of a choice."

"Good." At this being said, Niall tightened both his arms around Liam's neck and his legs around his waist, apparently not willing to move just another centimeter. Not that Liam minded to have him holding onto him like a koala, face buried against his shoulder again. "Could you get up like this?"

"Probably, you weigh like… ten kilograms." Probably even less, Liam tried pulling the blanket out from under Niall before scooting closer to the edge, holding Niall tightly in the process, which wouldn't have been necessary, but Liam wouldn't waste a chance to touch that boy.

"I don't, Li, I'm not that small." He was, but Liam just smirked as he pressed his lips to Niall's ear, loving their height and weight difference, he doubted that Niall would've been taller if they were same age, or that he'd grow much more.

It wasn't difficult at all to get up while Niall was clinging to him, maybe a bit harder than as if he had been alone, but as soon as Liam was on his feet he had no trouble even if this wasn't how he usually carried Niall. The only downside to this was that he couldn't stare at the boy's face now, well, and maybe that the other two were gonna make loads of comments once they came into the kitchen but Liam had gotten used to that by now. Which didn't mean that it had stopped being annoying. "Are you gonna slip, babe?"

"Nope." His legs were almost painfully tight wrapped around Liam so the question had been kinda unnecessary anyways.

"You're a natural at this." Liam joked while walking, carefully testing whether he could move one arm to rub Niall's back, but it didn't seem to make much of a difference, the blonde boy was holding himself up all by himself.

"One of my many talents, being clingy, haven't you noticed that already?" Of course he had, but not in a negative way, it's why they were even here after all, because Niall was so good at this.

Entering the kitchen got Liam even more suspicious about what Louis' intentions actually were, it seemed to be he had tried really hard with this breakfast, plus what was even weirder was the fact that he and Harry settled for only exchanging a smirk because of Liam carry Niall, keeping their mouths shut. "What's happened, Nialler, you been running around here just twenty minutes ago."

"Leave me alone." It almost sounded as if Niall was whining, making the other two laugh while Liam tried to gently put him down onto the floor even if Niall didn't seem to want that at all, giving him a bit of a hard time because he had no shirt to hold onto. "Nooo, don't."

"You can sit on my lap." Really, Liam hadn't even spent a thought on saying this in front of everyone, it's just, whenever Niall didn't wanna let go of him he started smiling like a dumb idiot without planning to, besides, he had seen his friends doing way worse stuff. Unfortunately.

"Fine…" Niall grumbled, it wasn't like him at all, just when he was really tired, which seemed to be the case right now, his eyes were still almost closed as he slid off of Liam, rubbing at them with his knuckles. Well, that didn't help Liam to stop grinning in any way.

"Come here." Under Harry's and Louis' stare, Liam didn't really care that much anymore as he used to while softly grabbing Niall's hips after sitting down, having the boy curl up on his lap not even half a second later, head on Liam's shoulder. "So, now that we're all here, since when do any of you make breakfast?"

Liam kept looking from one of his friends to the other, all while trying to keep serious and not coo at whatever Niall was doing in his arms, he seemed to be pretty comfortable there, absently playing with the hair in the back of Liam's neck, sometimes kissing his bare skin. Focusing on Louis clearing his throat was really the last thing Liam felt like doing, especially because of the amused expression on his friend's face while he watched them. "You should eat something first, I tried really hard, Niall can confirm that, he already had five waffles while you were still asleep."

Sounded a lot like Niall, but Liam kinda had his hands full already and besides that, looking at Harry and Louis, he wouldn't have been surprised to find out this food was poisoned after all. "Just tell me what's going on, we've been living on cereals for a year, this is slightly worrying me, did anybody die?"

Probably not, they were in a too good mood, which maybe was even scarier, Liam held Niall a little bit tighter, careful not to squish him though, resisting the urge to pepper his face in kisses just as Louis sighed, leaning forward a little. "Alright, well… there's something we wanted to um… ask you guys."

"Both of us?" It seemed pretty questionable, even Niall moved a little, but apparently not curious enough as to even lift his head. 

"Yeah, well… actually only you, I'm pretty sure Niall won't be hard to convince." Now that seemed even more questionable, Liam watched them closely, seeing Louis throw a look over to Harry who had just continued eating the whole time, giving him a nod and half a shrug. "Okay, so … you know since we got engaged and all… well obviously we won't get married too soon, but…" 

Maybe it was because Louis took way too long, but it was Harry then who just blurted out with it, not half as worried about it as his boyfriend. Actually, fiancé now, Liam still found it hard to change that word in his head, even though, not as hard as to progress what Harry asked then. "You guys wanna be our best men?"

"Are you ser-"

" _Me_?!" Niall didn't even seem like he noticed interrupting Liam, sitting up straight all of a sudden, his mouth had popped open as Liam checked briefly, making sure his arms were securely wrapped around the boy's waist, not half as surprised as Niall apparently was. To be fair though, this came out of nowhere, like, Liam had never even spent a thought on this, he wasn't even sure what to think. 

"Yeah, you, Niall." The other two seemed very amused by Niall's reaction, his face was undefinable before he suddenly broke out into the brightest, sleepiest smile that Liam had ever seen. 

"What about Zayn though? You only know me since a few months!" Which didn't seem to be a real bother for Niall, he kept up the happy face, cheering Liam up by just settling for watching his boyfriend, deciding not to spend too much thoughts on this, who knows, this wedding might even be a few years away, at least Niall was excited.

"We did ask Zayn, but he's not really into any of this, you know. And he said we should ask you instead, I mean after all you're Liam's boyfriend, you're part of this family too." For just a moment, Liam almost panicked at this, not because of himself but because he thought that the word 'family' might make Niall sad or something, but luckily, it seemed to make him smile even bigger. "So what do you say?"

"Yes, of course! Wow, that's so great guys, thanks, really! I've never done anything like this before, I don't know why Zayn would say no to this but I'd gladly do it." Of course he would, Liam was about to smile at him fondly, just kinda captivated by the way Niall grinned from one ear to the other, but then the younger boy turned his head to look at him, one arm still around Liam's neck, the other hand pressing against his bare chest. "You'll do it too, right, Li? It'll be ace."

Right. Instead of just being amused by Niall's reaction, Liam should've rather thought about this himself, he understood Zayn, for not really wanting to do it, because he didn't either, it's just, they had nobody left to ask now. "Well, I…" 

"Liam! You have to do it, come on." Little did Harry and Louis know that the fact that they had made breakfast changed exactly nothing, if it hadn't been for Niall's smily face right in front of Liam, making him swallow a bit when the urge to just lean forward and kiss him came over him. 

"I… I can do it but only if I don't have to do anything special, like… I'm not very into wedding stuff." Because god knows what you had to do as a best man, Liam had never intended to find that out, he had purely agreed to have Niall grin even wider before kissing his cheek, thrilled about them doing it together. At least somebody.

"Thanks, Li, and no, you don't have to do anything except for standing there." Louis chuckled, apparently relieved that this had gone so easy, according to everything he had put on that table he had had prepared for a pretty long discussion. Did Liam really come off as such an asshole though, that he wouldn't even agree to be his best friends' best man if they had no one left to ask? 

"Besides, you get to do it with Niall, it'll be fine, Payno. If you would have just dragged some dude in here then we wouldn't have asked because it wouldn't have lasted until then anyways, but you and N-"

"We're gonna last." Niall interrupted Harry, sounding pretty confident while saying this, tightening his arm around Liam's neck so that he could press their cheeks together, causing warmth to spread in Liam's stomach. He always managed to do that, by saying things like this so easily in front of everyone, as if he was a hundred precent sure that he wanted to stay with Liam. This was such a nice feeling, to have somebody who truly wanted to stick around, despite everything that had happened, it almost caused Liam to squeeze the younger boy a little too hard.

"Yeah, that's what I wanted to say." Apparently it wasn't only Liam who was smiling a bit too wide at Niall's comment, but he couldn't blame the other two, it would've been more worrying if they _hadn't_ been laughing at the most precious boy in the world. Who happened to be Liam's only.

So even though all the work that had went into their breakfast had been kinda unnecessary, Harry and Louis seemed to be very happy with the outcome, though Liam felt a bit uneasy at the thought of having so much attention on him at their wedding, he managed to concentrate on other things for now. For example on Niall still sitting on his lap all the way through, with an always open mouth, even as he got Liam to feed him things off of his fork, leaving sticky syrup kisses on his lips and cheeks once a while, but Liam didn't mind, if he just got to keep his arms around the younger boy, watching him with adoration, still not quite able to fully believe it.

Which got Liam back to the problem he had had before, the one where he couldn't say those tiny three words to Niall, though he seemed to fall for that boy more every day, he couldn't just say it lightheartedly. And besides, they got enough time, right? For Liam to figure out the perfect moment, and also to finally put whatever had happened at that damn walk behind him, or what had happened before Niall in general, he didn't even want to think about it any longer. 

The very first time, Liam just wanted to live in the present, because it had turned out better than he could've ever hoped for.

After breakfast, Liam felt it would only be fair if him and Niall didn't help cleaning up and just went back to his room, maybe nap a few more minutes (or hours), no one complained about it either, they just seemed to be relieved that it had gone so well, really, they wouldn't have had to make such a big deal out of it anyways.

Niall immediately went back to straddling Liam's waist again as he half lied down, not bothering with the blanket this time, it wasn't so cold after all and besides, he could've just pulled down Niall to lie on top of him and warm him up. "What're we gonna do today?"

"Hmm…" Liam pretended to be thinking about it, just looking down to take both of Niall's hands in his instead, intertwining their fingers like he did so often, loving how soft and small Niall's were compared to his. "I don't really know, we could just stay here, I mean, it's sunday, and we got tomorrow and tuesday off anyways, so…" 

"Sounds good, I'm not really motivated either, let's just not get out of bed ever again, okay?" How Liam would've loved staying here with Niall forever, just like this, staring at his abnormally beautiful face because there was no possibility he might ever get tired of seeing it right above his.

"You and not motivated? Can that even happen?" Chuckling, Liam brought one of Niall's hands up to his lips, kissing the back of his fingers gently, watching Niall starting to smirk all of a sudden.

"Well, now that you mention it, there is one thing that I'm motivated to do." Before Liam had enough time to ask what this was about, Niall had already leaned forward, letting out a giggle right into his face that had Liam's heart jumping faster right before Niall pressed their lips together, just lightly at first before applying a bit more pressure.

They were still holding hands so Liam couldn't reach out and touch the boy like he wanted to, but deciding that he should rather hold back a little, letting Niall take the lead like he usually did so he wouldn't startle him. And besides that, Niall was getting more curious and experimental anyways as time passed, not shy anymore to get more eager.

It was still slow at first before Niall parted his lips slightly, automatically making Liam do the same, holding back a sigh when he felt Niall licking into his mouth, squeezing his hands tighter when Niall leaned in even closer, his tongue nudging against Liam's and for a moment, he almost thought that this would get a little more heated when they suddenly got interrupted.

This time, it wasn't one of the other two, which wouldn't have been too suspicious, but no, it was Liam's phone going off on the bedside table, causing Niall to jerk back in shock before blinking a few times, breathing going a little hard. "Oh… your phone…"

"Yeah, I… " For a moment, Liam stared up at Niall, playing with the thoughts of just ignoring it at the sight of Niall's slightly red and swollen lips, but then he snapped out of it, freeing one of his hands slowly to reach out for his phone. Probably somebody had just taken a wrong number and accidentally called him, after all, who could it have been anyways? "Hello?"

It was hard to concentrate while having Niall sitting on top of him, his fingertips ghosting over Liam's bare chest, a smile playing around his lips that almost had him overhearing the person talking on the phone. "Liam Payne?"

Immediately, Liam's eyes went wide, this had been very unexpected, it was some woman talking that he was pretty sure he had never heard before, only, why did she know him then? "Um, yes?"

Niall's facial expression changed, he cocked his head a bit, watching Liam closely, gently applying some pressure onto the hand he was still holding, but Liam barely noticed, for some reason, his heart was bumping really fast as he waited for an answer. "Alright, I'm very sorry for what I'm gonna have to tell you, but you were the only person your father told us to inform in case of emergency."

"What… emergency?" At the mentioning of his dad, Liam had sat up abruptly, automatically pulling his hand out of Niall's to protectively wrap his arm around the younger boy's waist, hearing him gasp slightly.

There was a barely noticeable sigh coming from the woman on the phone, but her voice was clear and straight as she spoke, causing Liam's eyes to widen as he stared past Niall's shoulder, well aware of the other's stare. "Your father passed away last night, I'm very sorry for your loss, I understand if you need a minute, but we need you to come in as soon as possible as you're his only contact person."

Hearing this did something to Liam, not because he felt sad or depressed, he was surprised yeah, but for some reason, there was relief spreading in his chest. And then a second later, it was being replaced by guilt for being so heartless. "Yeah. Yeah I will, thanks for… the call."

His voice sounded kinda dead, but the woman had still heard him as she answered, telling him the name of the hospital, the one in his home town, once again saying that she was very sorry before hanging up, and Liam kinda just dropped the phone next to him on the bed, unable to move. 

"Li? What happened? Who was it, what's wrong?" Niall sounded more than panicked, he waited for a while before pressing his palms to Liam's cheeks, almost forcing him to finally look at him again. "Liam, talk to me."

"I…he's dead." It just came out like this, Liam's voice was still kinda careless, which probably was because, well… it didn't affect him as much as it should have, it was his father after all, but he couldn't force himself to cry or feel the loss if he really didn't, could he? "My dad. He died last night."

For a moment, Niall's eyes widened, still not letting go of Liam, just staring at him before whispering, as if he wasn't quite sure how to react. He wasn't the only one with that problem. "Why?"

"I don't know, I… I gotta go there, I'm… the only relative." The only person really that had been forced to live alongside his father for so many years, the women had come and gone, and Liam had no idea if his dad might have had friends at work, he had never been interested in his private life. 

Putting his hand over Niall's that was still in his face, Liam grabbed it gently, not looking away from the younger boy's eyes, as if he might find an answer about what to do now, but Niall seemed just as clueless. Maybe also a little scared, probably by Liam's lack of reaction, maybe he was waiting for him to start crying now or do whatever, but Liam's eyes had never felt so dry actually. "When? Today?"

"Well, that woman said as soon as possible, so I guess, yeah…" Besides, Liam did want to know what his dad had died of, after all, he hadn't been that old, like, what had happened? An accident?

"Okay…" Niall took a breath then, leaning his forehead against Liam for a second, his thumb brushing over the older's cheekbone. "I'll go with you."

"You don't have to." Liam answered automatically, but relief washed through him at hearing this, it was only now that he realized how much he didn't want to do this on his own.

"If you want me to I will." He pulled back a little again, moving his free hand down a bit to cup the back of Liam's neck instead, a sad smile appearing on his lips. "Are you okay?"

"I… I guess I am, it's just… I don't know." Shrugging, Liam released a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding, trying to act a bit more normal under Niall's worried stare, rubbing the small of his back shortly before clearing his throat. "I'd really appreciate it if you came with me."

"Of course I will, I'm not leaving you alone, okay? And we can talk about it, if you want to I mean, I'm here, Li." Wasn't he always, no matter what, Niall always stuck by his side and put the pieces back together, even now, when Liam wasn't even sure what to think, the younger boy was his rock, making him feel just a tad better by simply existing. 

"I know you are, babe… thank you." Smiling weakly, Liam pecked Niall's lips before attempting to move them gently, feeling a bit as though he was in trance. Like… how could this have happened, just from one second to the other, everything had gotten changed. But then again, did it really make a difference?

 

————————

 

Louis' and Harry's reaction to the news were a bit more extreme than Niall's, who kept holding onto Liam's hand the whole time, but the other two asked a million questions that Liam had no answer to, he didn't know anymore than the fact that it had happened.

At least Louis almost shoved his car keys at Liam then, it felt funny, to be driving now, after both his parents were dead now, and losing his mother because of a car accident, it almost caused Liam to ask Niall whether he could drive instead, but he didn't want him to think that he couldn't handle it. 

The drive wasn't too long, like 45 minutes, which was alright, Liam needed time to think a bit anyways and Niall kept quiet mostly, as if he understood. Liam did reach over though to hold the younger boy's hand, feeling calmer when Niall captured it with both of his, not letting go anymore for the rest of the drive.

Liam shouldn't have been so surprised by his no existing sadness, this simply had no impact on his life, the only reason why he didn't talk was because he was kinda shocked that it had just happened like this, just a call and now they were here driving to the hospital.

To top it all off, Liam had never ever spent a thought on Niall seeing his father, he wouldn't have known a reason for this to happen, but now when they arrived and Liam got asked whether he wanted to go and see his dad one last time, he just nodded without thinking, kinda forgetting to ask Niall whether it was alright. But Niall didn't let go of his hand nor did he speak one word, just following along as a nurse led them somewhere, stopping before opening up a door to look at Liam. "I can't let you in alone unfortunately, sorry."

"That's fine." Liam didn't even _want_ to go in alone, even if Niall was there leaning into his side, suddenly kissing his arm, as if to remind him that he was here, but Liam just checked his face briefly, getting a reassuring smile and a squeeze around his hand that didn't really help all that much. After all, it wasn't as if Liam needed support to get through this, he just felt guilty, for not feeling anything at all, that's why he kept so quiet.

Still, it took a moment or two, a few breaths he had to take before being able to enter the room after the nurse, pulling Niall with him, forcing himself now to not look away and just get it over with, for one last time.

It was a rather empty room, not much to see except for the table and the blanket covering almost all of the the man's body lying on top. He seemed to be just asleep, looking exactly like he had on the day when Liam had left, over a year ago, his expression wasn't as angry as it had been back then of course, it was weird actually, to only see him this calm now that he was… dead. "It's fine if you get closer."

"Yeah…" But Liam made no attempts to move closer than a meter distance, he could imagine that usually people acted differently when they came to see somebody after they had passed away, but he couldn't bring himself to show emotion. "What'd he die of?"

The answer didn't come immediately, maybe that nurse was disturbed by Liam's lack of knowledge and just standing there with Niall leaning into his side now, still holding his hand tightly with both of his. "Pancreatic cancer, there was nothing we could've done, it was too far developed already."

Right, no accident after all, that also explained why his dad had no bruises in his face or anything, why he looked just like he always had. As if he'd get up any second and yell at Liam for forgetting something simple like putting his glass away, that thought almost caused him to jerk back and pull Niall more behind him, as if he'd have to protect him for real. "When did he get diagnosed?"

It was Niall who had asked, his voice sounded soft, almost causing Liam to just turn away and pull the younger boy into his arms to never let him go anywhere ever again, moments like these, Liam was overwhelmed with the amount of love he felt for Niall. "About five months ago."

That was longer than Liam even knew Niall, but it didn't change the way he felt about the situation, it's just what Niall half mumbled then that caused his stomach to do a flip. "Maybe that's why he called you for your birthday."

And Niall was probably right with that assumption, not like they were ever gonna find out about it though it seemed pretty likely, even if it didn't fit at all, Liam's dad hadn't been someone who would go and apologize to his son after all these years, but it kinda made sense, maybe the thought of having to die soon had changed him in ways that Liam would never find out about. Even if he would've picked the phone up that day, he wouldn't have forgiven him, not even if he would've begged him on his knees. "Maybe… we'll never find out. Now the last thing he's said to me will forever be that he doesn't care whether he ever sees me again. Guess he got his wish."

The silence after this was almost uncomfortable, especially because Liam knew that the nurse had heard him pretty clearly as well, maybe now she understood why Liam showed so little interest. It was Niall then who gently pulled Liam's hand, deciding for the both of them that it was time to leave, there was no need to stay, Liam had just thought that maybe by staring at his dad long enough he'd start to at least get teary eyes, but nothing. "Come on, it's okay, Liam, let's go."

So he let Niall lead him out of the room again, waiting there for the nurse who just followed them without asking any questing, closing the door once everybody was out before looking at Liam again, the same professional expression on her face. "If you don't mind, we'd need you for a few more minutes."

"Sure." Liam shrugged, he didn't care that much, the worst part was over now anyways and it hadn't affected Liam in the slightest way.

"You alright, Li?" Niall was just whispering while they walked behind the woman again, he sounded painfully worried which probably was caused by the blank face Liam had been wearing ever since he had gotten that phone call.

"I'm fine, baby, don't worry about me." Because it's not like any of this would drastically change Liam's life, if anything, this was making everything a lot easier, but thinking about being _relieved_ scared Liam more than he would've liked to admit. Though it was true, he'd never have to deal with his dad again, and hadn't that been what he had wished for almost all of his life? But it felt wrong now, especially while looking at Niall and knowing that he'd give everything to meet his real parents and here Liam was not caring that his father had died.

"But I am worried about you…" As Niall mumbled, Liam forced himself to smile weakly, pulling his hand out of Niall's to wrap it around his shoulders instead, pulling him in closer and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

"Don't be, I'm alright, Nialler, I promise. Thank you for coming with me." He really meant it, doing this without Niall seemed to be impossible, even if Liam felt guilty for making him see all of this, but if it had been the other way around, Liam wouldn't have needed a heartbeat to decided whether he'd come or not.

"That's okay… you know I'm always here when you need me." Which was more than true, Liam's smile felt a little less harder to keep up now, especially when Niall also wrapped his arm around his waist to press himself closer into Liam like he always did.

They were taken to another room, Liam understood what it was about the moment he walked in because there was some of his dad's stuff that he recognized, like a few clothes and a bag, he must've been in hospital for a while. "These are all of your father's belongings that he brought here, you're free to take them of course. As far as I'm informed he left you all of his possessions, he put it into his last will a few days ago, which was also when he left your number for us to call you in case of his death."

Liam was only half listening though it was a bit strange, it wasn't like his dad knew anybody he could've given his things to, but if he would've had to make a bet, Liam would've guessed he would rather have the house and car burned down instead of giving it to Liam. Maybe he had had feelings after all, deep buried somewhere. "Alright thanks, um… what if I don't take everything here?"

"It'll go to charity as far as it's still useful." Good, that was exactly what was gonna to happen with all of his father's personal things anyways, Liam briefly kissed Niall's temple before letting go of him and taking the only things he was going to need, which were the wallet and the keys, nothing else had any worth to him. He didn't even feel bad about it, after all that nurse must've already realized that Liam wasn't gonna go get all emotional, Niall knew the whole story and there was no one else here who could've judged him for his behavior. Only Liam himself. 

There were some papers he had to sign, nothing special though, they were out of the hospital again only after about an hour or probably even less, it felt like a really big relief to have gotten it over with even it still didn't feel like reality to Liam, he doubted it ever would, after all, nothing was going to change, he wouldn't have seen his dad again either way. But still, there was this bugging feeling inside of him that he hadn't been brave enough to address, just when he and Niall were walking back to the car, still hand in hand, Liam just blurted out with it, not being able to take the silence any longer, even if he knew that Niall had just not said anything for his sake, to give him all the time he needed to think. "Ni… "

"Yeah?" Niall answered immediately, Liam felt the younger boy looking at him, squeezing his fingers even if all Liam kept watching was the asphalt they were walking on.

"Do you think… do you think I should be sad? Or at least, I don't know… feel bad or something?" Saying this in front of Niall wasn't easy, Liam bit into his bottom lip as he was suddenly stopped by his hand in the middle of the parking lot, accidentally looking right into Niall's eyes.

"You don't have to feel anything, Li, it's alright, everyone who knows what your dad has done would understand. It's normal, I wouldn't feel sad either if I were in your position, just because he's… dead doesn't change what he's done." He was right but it didn't help too much, Liam just nodded, looking past Niall's shoulder, pretty scared about answering, like… he didn't want Niall to think he was heartless for saying what he was about to.

"It's just that… you know when I got the call and… I kinda felt, um… relieved." Alright, Liam definitely _was_ a bad person. 

Without further do, Niall suddenly pulled his hand away, almost making Liam think that he'd get mad at him now, but then the younger boy surprised him, like he had done so often before, just wrapping his arms tightly around Liam's middle, getting onto his tiptoes to kiss his cheek before leaning his chin onto Liam's shoulder. "Remember what I told you, when I stayed at your flat when you were sick?"

Having Niall almost melting against him, Liam had hugged back right away, not realizing how much he had needed this until he buried his face in the blonde hair, breathing in the familiar scent of Niall paired with his own shampoo, immediately calming down even if it was just a bit. "Yeah…"

It seemed to have happened ages ago, when Niall had spilled his whole secrets to Liam, something he had been thinking about way too often ever since. "You know how I told you how guilty I felt for not liking the first family that adopted me, even though I had every reason to? Yet I still tried to tell myself that I loved them, because I used to think every kid has to love their parents. But you know, just because it's your dad doesn't mean he can do whatever he wants with you, and you don't have to forgive him for it either. And you're allowed to feel relieved about it because you've got every reason to, Li, so please don't feel guilty, it's not you who fucked it up. It took me a while to realize that too, actually I only did when I learned that they hadn't even been my real parents, but I should've allowed myself to hate them even if they had been."

Hearing this felt really good, because Liam knew that Niall wouldn't just say things without meaning them, also, it hadn't been something he had considered, that he wasn't the first one to feel like this, even if Niall's situation had been a lot more different (and more serious as well), he felt a little less lonely with that guilt. "I know… it's just… I don't know what to do or what to feel and it just makes me feel like a horrible person…."

"Hey, Liam, you're the best person I've ever met, okay? I wouldn't just say this and you know it. I'm here, I got you and I'm not letting you go, it'll be okay, I promise." Then he held on even tighter and Liam pressed his eyes shut, not wanting to feel anything at all besides how warm and perfect Niall felt against him, how glad he was that he had this boy in his life, that he got to call him his boyfriend, not in a million years would he have ever deserved him. He was the only thing Liam was more than terrified of losing, he didn't wanna lose his other friends either but he felt like if Niall was gone, he wouldn't have been able to even breathe correctly anymore.

They stayed like this for a while, in the middle of the parking lot but it was almost empty so it was alright, besides, Liam wouldn't have cared about anybody having to stop because of them, he'd hug Niall for as long as he needed to.

When they did finally pull apart, Niall still left his hands on Liam's waist, smiling up at him slightly, leaning against Liam's palm as he cupped the younger boy's face, not being able to hold back and kiss him deeply, very careful though, maybe a bit too protective because it was Niall then who got onto his tiptoes, pressing their lips together more eagerly, almost causing Liam to chuckle because of how impatient he suddenly seemed to be to get a proper kiss. 

The moment they pulled apart for air, Liam almost blurted out with how much he loved him, just looking at Niall like this, happy face, flushed cheeks, red lips got his mind go blank within seconds, but he caught himself last second, quickly swallowing those three words down. "You wanna see the house?"

"If you wanna show it to me, I do." His breath was going a bit faster than normally, just like Liam's, but his smile wasn't any less bright than on any other day, warming Liam's stomach, even in a situation like this. Maybe if he just kept looking at Niall and kept on cuddling him close and kissing him for the next two days he'd be fine again, he didn't really need anything else anyways.

"I do, come on, it's only like, ten minutes from here." Kissing Niall's forehead over his fringe, Liam returned the smile before catching Niall's hand in his, already feeling a whole lot better from just being able to lightly swing their arms between them.

 

———————

 

Coming back here felt very strange, after Liam had sworn himself not to do it, it caused a slightly uneasy feeling to settle in his stomach that not even the pressure of Niall's hand could fully cure. At least he wasn't coming back here to see his dad, or all by himself, at least he was coming back with the most wonderful and understanding boyfriend in the whole world.

"I wonder… if it still looks the same." Liam was more talking to himself than to Niall while fumbling unnecessarily long with the keys, he did feel very nervous about going inside, after everything that had happened in there, it for sure wouldn't bring back any nice memories.

"Only one way to find out." Niall mumbled next to him, waiting patiently, not commenting on Liam stopping for yet another second before pushing the door open a bit, taking a breath as he stood in the frame with his hand automatically brushing against the wall to find the light switcher right away. Shit, he didn't want to still know this house so well. "Are you sure you wanna go inside, Li?"

"No, I'm not but… now that we're here." He wouldn't back out, just giving Niall a weak smile before reaching his hand out, relieved as he felt the younger boy tangle their fingers together. "C'mon, I'll show you around."

It was just the entering hall so Liam felt alright while pulling Niall with him gently, waiting for him to pull the door closed behind them, plunging them into almost complete silence. There was no need to take their shoes off, actually, Liam didn't even want to, he would rather feel like he could leave again any second he felt like in case he wouldn't be able to stand it any longer.

The house was nice and big without a doubt, it probably looked very different to Niall than it did to Liam, but if so, he didn't say it out loud, just walking next to Liam, letting him do the talking. Or rambling more like. "So that's the kitchen…. not sure why we even had one I think nobody used it in like, ten years. That's the living room, I've never watched TV here now that I think about it, it made my dad mad if I did, I was mostly in my room."

"Where is it?" Right, that's actually what Liam had wondered the most as well, what had happened with his stuff? He had taken everything with him that he would need, but of course there were still things here, not that he had had that much to begin with.

"It's upstairs…" Pulling Niall with him through the living room, Liam swallowed down his 'Look, and over there is where he beat me up so bad one time that I spit blood' and 'those are the stairs I half fell down once when he pushed me', because that would've been another kind of house tour, but he didn't want Niall to know that those were the things on his mind right now, didn't wanna seem like he needed the boy's sympathy or anything. "After everything that's happened, don't be surprised if it's not my room anymore, he probably threw everything out or something."

Trying to pretend like he wouldn't care, Liam exchanged a look with Niall who seemed a bit sad but nodded, squeezing his hand a little once they had reached the top of the stairs, going for the last door at the hallway, which was closed, just like Liam had left it. Though that didn't mean anything, you could quickly open and close a door after all. 

Still, Liam hesitated for a second before pulling down the handle, sucking in a breath then as he pushed the door open abruptly, thinking that he might get sick any second. Nothing had changed, there were the same ugly curtains, the same messy desk, even the bed was still unmade from when Liam had gotten up in the morning before he had left more than a year, it was all still there, his dad hadn't even been in here just one single time. "He never opened this door. Not even once…look, even my dirty boxer shorts are still under the bed."

"Well, be glad you got rid of those, they're not very sexy." Niall joked, making Liam laugh out for a second, feeling glad that it sounded a lot like Niall liked the ones he had now better, not that he had seen them so often, but a few times. "Can I?"

"Sure." Liam slowly released the boy's hand, allowing him to walk over to his desk while he went into the opposite direction, going for his closet that was still open, pretty messy as well, filled with some old clothes that he wouldn't wanna have anymore if his life depended on them. Everything in here woke bad memories, the room itself as well, all the countless hours Liam had spent locked in here, by himself, just thinking about how desperately he wanted to leave this all behind. If only he would've known what would happen just a year later. 

"Awww, that is so cute, Li, you still look exactly like that." Turning around, Niall had opened the drawer with the photos, looking through them now, even if it only were a few but there was a soft smile on his face as he observed them. "I'd love to see more pictures of you as a kid."

"Yeah… we only got those, my mum took them but, um… after she died my dad obviously didn't continue. Well, I could show you my school pictures, but-"

"Yes, show me." Of course he wanted to see them, Liam regretted offering it now because well… they weren't very flattering, but Niall seemed so excited now that he couldn't say no and just walked over to pull open another drawer, taking the whole bunch out to give to Niall. 

"I was a bit chubby as a kid." The first three or so were quite alright, but it got worse every year then, Liam made sure not to actually look at the pictures but only at Niall's face, watching his reactions closely. They weren't anything near bad though.

"Are you kidding me, Liam, you're not chubby at all, you were so adorable as kid. And look at this, how old were you, like thirteen? Nice hair." His chuckle was the cutest thing, Liam didn't quite listen to every word, he was more captivated by Niall's crooked smile while staring at the pictures, almost going to pull him into a hug, just because." You know it's quite funny actually, if that was your junior year, means you're about as old there as I'm now."

Right, Liam hadn't thought about that, he walked up now to lean against his desk next to Niall, almost cringing at seeing the picture his boyfriend was looking at. "Be glad I don't look like that anymore though, I used to think it was very tough to not smile."

"Come on, Li, you're handsome in all of your pictures, I mean, you do look the best now but still, I'd always think you're attractive." Then he just shrugged, putting the pictures behind him to take the ones again where Liam must've only been about two years old or something.

"Thanks, babe…" Slowly, he wrapped his arm around Niall's waist, lightly kissing the side of his head, just happy that he hadn't had to come here all by himself. 

"It's true. Can I have this one?" Liam looked down, it was some picture of just him, smiling while wearing some mickey mouse sweater, it was kinda alright, so he just nodded, a little bit excited about Niall wanting to keep it.

"Sure, Ni, you can have anything you want." Literally, because Liam didn't plan on taking anything from his room with him, maybe he should've gotten some stuff from the kitchen though, because they were lacking of plates at the flat, but that could wait for a while. 

"Thank you. I wish I had pictures of when I was younger, I mean, I probably looked like an idiot, but I'd like to see it anyways." His giggle was the cutest thing, Liam couldn't hold back anymore but wrap both his around the younger boy now from the side, holding him tightly while kissing his head again a few times before leaning his cheek against his hair. 

"I'd love to see them too but I'm pretty sure you were the cutest kid alive. You still are actually, there's no way you could ever even come close to looking like an idiot, baby, you're absolutely gorgeous." And Liam wasn't even saying that to make him feel better because it was simply the truth, Niall fell a little more against him at this, holding onto Liam's arm around him with one hand, gently brushing his wrist with his thumb.

"Don't make me blush, Li…" Liam couldn't check if it was true but it was according to the boy's voice, making Liam laugh softly as he squeezed him, feeling Niall cuddle even closer into him, letting out a content sigh at Liam pressing his lips to his soft hair, again and again. 

"I like it when you blush though, it's cute." Now he had caused the younger boy's face to turn even redder probably, Liam just chuckled as Niall mumbled something against his shirt, not pulling away though, actually, he turned around so he could hug Liam back properly, head leaned against his shoulder, breathing evenly against his neck.

They didn't move for a while, Liam rocked Niall in his arms a bit without noticing, not thinking about anything in particular, just the usual again, how lucky he was to have Niall, how much he adored him because he seriously did, everything about him. There was no possibility that he'd ever get tired of waking up next to the boy, or falling asleep with him, doing anything really, no matter how boring the task was, having Niall there made pretty much everything exciting.

Liam ended the house tour after this, there was nothing to see and he felt a bit awkward being here, even if it was with Niall, but seeing the boy in here wasn't very comfortable either, he had never planned on showing him any of this, he hadn't even had a house key anymore. 

And even now he felt slightly panicked the longer they spent inside, as if his father might come home any second and catch them, that he'd hurt Niall and Liam couldn't do anything, which of course, would never be able to happen now. Besides, if anybody just did as much as look at Niall in the wrong way Liam would kill them, even if that would be exactly what he had done at the park a week ago, but the longer he thought about it, the more appropriate his actions seemed to be. He hadn't beaten that guy up because he had enjoyed it after all, he had just protected Niall from him.

"I still can't believe he left me all of this. Like the whole house." Once they were back in the car, Liam didn't hesitate to start it right away, not even feeling like looking back or out of the window, he really just wanted to get home. His real home.

"What're you gonna do with it?" A good question, Liam hadn't spent a thought on it yet, he wouldn't live in there obviously, that was the only thing he was certain of. 

"I don't know, I'll have to think about it. Maybe we should get some stuff for the flat, 'cos like… we're lacking of a few things. And my dad's car is better than Louis', maybe it would be helpful if I had my own, but… I kinda don't even wanna get inside." He had hardly been in the car with his dad, it wasn't the one his mother and him had had the accident with obviously, but still, there was something about cars that got Liam scared. Even now, he felt like he shouldn't have been driving, it's just that his dad had told him so often that it had been his fault, Liam sometimes started to think that it actually had been only him who had caused him and his mum to crush. So what if it'd happen again?

"You got time to think about it, Li, don't stress out over it, okay?" Niall's reassuring smile and soft voice was really calming, even if Liam couldn't check for too long because he had to look at the street, he still reached over to place his hand on Niall's thigh, palm up so the younger boy could intertwine their fingers. And he did, not even half a second later, kissing Liam's knuckles.

"Yeah… I'm gonna try not to." His laugh sounded a bit breathless, causing Niall to squeeze his hand before wrapping his second one around it as well, warming it up from all around, suddenly letting out a yaw, making the most adorable sound while doing sound. "You tired?"

"A little, but it's okay." He was so cute, Liam wished he could've reached over to ruffle his hair before placing kisses all over his face just to hear him giggle sleepily like he usually did, but sadly, that would have to wait.

"It's okay if you take a nap, babe, it'll take a while until we're home. And I can carry you upstairs as well if you're asleep." Actually, he'd love to do that.

"You can carry me either way, Li." Then Niall just chuckled, moving around a bit, not loosening his grip on Liam's hand in the slightest though, just trying to get a bit more comfortable probably. "But I'll stay awake anyways, so you won't get bored and then we can nap together once we're home. And then the next two days as well, and not go anywhere at all."

Sounded like a very good plan to Liam, especially after this very eventful day, it seemed almost ridiculous now that he had ever thought about telling Louis and Harry that didn't want to be their best man at the wedding, it seemed pretty unnecessary now. Yet still, it hadn't fully sunken in yet, that his father had died, that he had just gone to see him with Niall and then shown him the house he hated so much that he seriously thought about never spending a thought on it again and pretending that it didn't exist.

For the next half an hour, Niall and him just talked about random things, still holding hands, unless Liam needed both of them, but Niall just left his in the exact same position whenever he pulled away so they could go right back to it again without Liam having to even take a look, that's how good they worked out by now.

It's when they fell into a bit of a silence, and Niall started humming some very wrong sounding melody that Liam felt the need to speak up, without looking over though, mostly because he had to drive but also a little bit because he though he might turn red. "Hey, Nialler…"

"Yeah?" Niall had clearly suppressed a yaw as he answered, sounding pretty curious though and Liam almost backed out, giving himself a push instead though.

"I just wanted to say thank you… for coming with me you know, I can imagine it wasn't too much fun. And for always supporting me as well… you just always know the right thing to say and make me feel better, Ni, so thank you for… just being here, you know…" There was something else Liam wanted to say, but he swallowed it down for now, just waiting for a reaction, with his heart beating a bit too fast at what he was about to tell Niall. Well wanted to, actually, because for some reason, Niall was faster.

"Don't thank me, Li, of course I'm always there for you, you're always here for me too. I mean, I know a lot of shitty things have happened but at least we got each other, right? And remember when you promised me that I'd have a family someday? Well, I do now… " Then he broke off for a second, holding Liam's hand tighter before continuing, almost instantly causing him to tear up heavily. "And about the other thing… about that I should tell you once I know whether I'm in love with you, I know it was a joke, but… I am in love with you. I love you, Liam, I really do, I know we never say it like this but it's true, you mean the whole world to me, and I've never been this happy than when I'm with you."

Shit, Niall was so good at this, so genuine sounding that Liam almost choked on a sob that he concealed as a cough, desperately wanting to answer, tell Niall that he felt exactly the same way, that he loved him too because hell, he did, more than anything and everybody, but his throat was too tight as to talk, he tried to not start crying, calm down a little before getting all embarrassed by having tears roll down his cheeks.

It was that one second that Liam was too slow, when he caught his breath quickly, feeling like he could finally answer, it was then that Niall suddenly squished his hand way too tight before yelling something that sounded a lot like 'WATCH OUT!' but it happened so quickly, before Liam could even fully turn his head in panic to see what had gotten Niall so scared, it was already too late.

The next thing he knew wasn't Niall's palms pressing around his hand anymore, or the happiness bubbling through him about what the younger boy had just told him. No, all those feelings suddenly got replaced by pain and then just pure numbness and darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I wanted to part this chapter into two but I decided to be nice since it's Niall's bday :) Enjoy!

The thing was, Liam couldn't remember anything at all the for a few seconds, all he knew was that parts of his body hurt really badly, so he tried moving them one for one, just to check whether they were still even there, relief washing through him when he found that that was the case. 

Some noise was disturbing him that he couldn't quite name, all he knew was that he was really tired, almost too tired to even try and open his eyes, but there was something important, something he should've remembered but just couldn't grasp anymore. It was just then that he realized that he had no idea where he even was, something made his mind dizzy, not allowing him to think clearly when suddenly he could identify the noise next to him as voices and then, it changed into one single word.

"Liam?" Now trying really hard, Liam forced his eyes to flatter open just a little bit, immediately shutting them closed again when the bright light made him groan a bit in pain, who had thought turning it on had been a good idea? "Liam, come on, look at me, please, man."

"Haz, don't push it, you know he'll wake up, okay? He'll be just fine, they told us." None of this made sense, though slowly, Liam started to recognize the voices, just because he had heard them so often before, it were Harry and Zayn, undoubtedly, just… why did he feel like that wasn't the voice he craved to hear?

Trying again this time, Liam managed to keep his eyes open for a little bit longer, the room seemed to spin for a whole while, somebody was clutching his hand all of a sudden, the pressure helping him to get a bit of his orientation back, just croaking out the first thing that came to his mind. "What… what happened?" 

"He sounds terrible… I'll get him some water." Maybe it was Zayn who said that, some chair moved a little too loud for Liam's ears as he attempted turning his head just a bit, having to blink a few more times before seeing Harry somewhat clearly, sitting on a chair next to him, holding Liam's hand. Only… his eyes were skimmed red and he looked beyond exhausted.

Ignoring Liam's question, Harry just released a shaky breath, a weak smile appearing on his lips that disappeared just a second later. "Fuck… I'm so glad you're awake, Li… for a while I almost thought you'd…"

"What's that … supposed to mean, Harry, what…" Liam didn't even know where to start, he tried so hard to think about what had happened, to progress all of this, by now he was almost 100% sure that he was in hospital, at least that would explain his bandaged hand and the pinches he felt in some parts of his body, just… "What happened?"

"Don't you remember anything?" Harry seemed more than worried now as he studied Liam's face, slowly pulling his hand away as Zayn came back with a glass of water, coming to the other side of the bed, expression undefinable, calmer than Harry maybe, but definitely not alright.

"You wanna drink something? I'll help you sit up a bit, come on." It hurt to only sit up halfway, even with Zayn's help, but Liam tried his hardest not to make a sound, just clenching his teeth together then, hoping that his hand wasn't shaking too much as he took the glass to swallow a bit, throat instantly feeling a tad better. But not even close to alright, at least he felt more awake now. 

"What happened?" He asked once again, as soon as Zayn had sat down on the edge of the bed, holding the glass for Liam as he had lied back down, never having felt more confused in his whole entire life.

The other two shared a look, it was Zayn then who spoke up, slowly, more calmly than Harry could've ever managed to be, so maybe that's why it was him who talked. "It was a car accident, Liam, but it wasn't your fault, it was the other driver, he was drunk and he hit you. Not on your side though, he mostly, um… hit the passenger side, so you're gonna be alright, a few scratches and bruises, nothing serious, but well … "

And then he just broke off, Liam had looked down, examining the bandages he had on his arms, slowly reaching out to touch the side of his head where there was a pain, feeling another one there. "But what?"

"Liam, you… you know that you weren't alone in that car right?" For a second or two, Liam was still confused, just staring at Zayn who was biting his lip now, nervous as it seemed, very unusual for him.

And then all of a sudden, the realization hit Liam, and he could remember _everything_ , from the conversation they had had in the morning up to what they spoken about in the car and then… Niall's scream. Shit, Niall. How had Liam been able to forget about the very most important thing?! "Niall… where is he? Is he alright?!"

Immediately, he pushed himself up to lean onto his elbows, ignoring the pain, desperate to get an answer out of his friends who just looked beyond clueless, and sad too, which wasn't a good sign but that didn't have to mean anything, right? Niall would have to be fine, Liam was too, maybe a few scratches but he'd be alright, he'd see him again, to finally tell him what he hadn't been able to in the car, everything would be okay.

Liam knew that it wouldn't be though, because even before anybody had said a word there were tears building up in his eyes, spilling over but he didn't bother wiping them away, something had happened to Niall, he just knew it by the way the others kept silent, but he didn't want to believe it. "Talk to me! He's got to be alright, where is he? Tell me, I need to go see him, I-"

"Liam, calm down for a second, please." Harry's hand on his arm was the only thing keeping him from jumping out of this bed, his tears just wouldn't stop coming either, what had he done?! Why had he gotten into this car? Why had he EVER gotten into any car again?! "Look, Louis is checking right now, okay, he'll come back and then he's gonna tell us, alright? Keep calm."

"So he's alive, Niall's alive right? Please tell me he is, please." That was everything Liam needed to know at the moment, staring at Zayn pleadingly and falling back into the pillows as soon as his friend gave him a short nod, not very convincing though, but it was a nod nevertheless. "Thank god… he can get through anything, I know he can, he's gonna be alright, he has to be… where is he? I gotta see him."

"Look, Li, he's… he's not woken up yet, which is not really surprising because you've only just woken up as well now, it's just…" Once again, Zayn stopped talking and Liam wanted to punch him hard in the face until he told him everything he needed to know. He was still crying, wiping at his tears the whole time but they just wouldn't stop coming. 

"Just what?" His voice broke away at the last word, he couldn't take this, out of anything that could've happened, this was the very worst thing, Niall getting hurt, so badly apparently that his friends didn't even want to tell him. How could this have happened?! A freaking car accident, once again, and just because they had gone to see his fucking dad, Liam was so angry all of a sudden, his hate towards the man seemed to increase even more, just because he had gone to see him, because he had taken Niall with him this had happened. If they hadn't done it, they would've still been in Liam's bed… napping…fuck, Liam wouldn't survive this, he simply couldn't, not without Niall.

"It's just that he's got way worse injured than you because… because he was on the passenger side where the car hit and… you guys been passed out for like a day, it's monday evening now, and well, the doctor's told us that you'd wake up soon, that you'd be just fine, but Niall… they don't know whether he's gonna wake up, like… at all." And that's where Liam's world just crashed in front of his eyes, Zayn saying those words was like being punched right in the stomach, pulling all the air out of him at once, almost choking him right there.

Niall couldn't die, not like this, not without Liam having never told him that he loved him, not when he had been about one second before telling him, this was way too cruel, this couldn't be happening, it just couldn't. Not Niall and not like this, they couldn't just take him from Liam like this, after he had finally found something in his life that was worth fighting for, it just got ripped out of his hands again? No, Niall would wake up, Liam _knew_ it, and he'd kiss him again and tell him, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, because he knew that Niall was the one, it would be fine. Right? "H-he… h-he's gonna w-wake up… I-I k-know he w-will…"

"Oh, Liam… I'm so sorry this happened, but don't you dare start thinking it was your fault because it wasn't, alright? And it'll be okay again, I… let's just see what Louis has to say when he gets back, okay? It's fine." The fact that Harry sounded so unsure, that he constantly kept exchanging looks with Zayn was even worse as if he had just shut his mouth altogether.

Liam knew that it had been his fault anyways, after all, Niall had seen the car, hadn't he? He had warned Liam to watch out but he hadn't reacted fast enough and now it was too late. Now Niall would maybe never even say another word to him and just thinking about that possibility, that he might never get to hold Niall again or have him snuggle up against him, or kiss him, that all their future plans had just gotten destroyed like this, that he'd never hear that giggle again or look into those bright blue eyes was enough for Liam to just give up on trying to hold back his sobs. He barely even covered his eyes with his arm like he had planned on doing, not caring what the other two might think or do as he just let go and started crying.

In fact, they didn't do anything at all, they just kept on sitting there, not that Liam really checked, his sight was way too blurry and he couldn't have cared any less about his friends right now, as hard as it sounded. But he just wanted Niall, wanted to do all the things that they had looked forward to before that fucking phone call had happened. How did Liam deserve any of this? Yeah, he had been a horrible person back then but he hadn't just become like this because of nothing, had he? Didn't that count? Didn't he deserve some happiness that laster longer than just a few months just to get it taken away in the most horrible way possible? 

Without Niall, Liam had nothing and he knew it, that boy alone had been the reason for him to even start enjoying his life again, to stop just wasting day after day, Niall had given everything a reason, a reason to get up and try his best and go to work. He had shown him that not everyone wanted to automatically harm Liam, that sometimes being alone sucked a lot worse than he had ever thought and above all, he had shown Liam that he wasn't that much of a bad person that he had thought he was, that he was indeed able to still fall in love with somebody, care about another person and that Liam was loved as well, he didn't have to spend his life trying to keep away from everybody.

But without Niall, what did any of this even mean? Nothing. If he lost Niall, Liam wasn't gonna keep on trying just one more day, he wouldn't, it would be like a punch in the face and it would cause him to fall back into his old habits, even worse than before. Because what kinda logic was that, he finally found someone he could trust again and then they got taken away, from one second to the other?

It seemed to take ages until Louis finally came, Liam still hadn't managed to stop crying, only now he kept blocking out whatever the other two tried to tell him purely to calm him down, not because they actually believed that it was gonna be alright, judging by the looks on their faces, they were already preparing for the worst. Why couldn't it have been Liam instead of Niall? Niall was so much more worth than him, he was a way better person, he deserved to live, he was so much stronger, he could've pulled through this. But Liam couldn't.

Louis didn't come alone though, his face was sadder than Liam had ever seen it, just when their eyes met for a second, it brightened up just the tiniest bit, not what Liam had hoped for though. If things would've been fine with Niall, Louis wouldn't have looked as though he was attending a funeral. Fuck.

A doctor had come in with Louis, at least he didn't seem close to tears which was a nice distraction right now, Liam had sat up now, ignoring the pain at first but it was starting to get better, he had checked his body for bruises, but he really barely had any bad ones. Why had he gotten so lucky and Niall hadn't? It should've been the other way around. 

"Mr. Payne, you're awake, that's great." Right, maybe that doctor wasn't so calming at all. "How are you feeling?"

While he talked, Harry had left the chair to go and hug Louis, causing Liam to tear up yet again, why did they have so much luck? Why couldn't he have that as well? Instead of answering the question, Liam just tried his hardest to not burst out into tears again, forcing his voice to sound somewhat normal. "How's Niall?"

This had the doctor sighing, something that surprised and also scared Liam at the same time, not sure anymore whether he really wanted to know the answer, what if… "He's alive." Thank goodness. "Just… boys, can you leave us alone for a few minutes?"

If this was gonna be a talk to prepare Liam for something then he was pretty sure he didn't want his friends to go anywhere at all, even though they nodded, and Zayn got up off the bed, throwing a very fake and unsettling smile at Liam before following Harry and Louis outside, pulling the door shut behind him. "There's a possibility he's gonna survive, right? Because I know he will, he's gonna wake up and he's gonna be fine, he's strong, he can do it."

"Liam… " A little taken aback by being called by his first name, Liam was even more surprised to see the man sitting down on the edge of his bed, a little further away than Zayn. He seemed nice, but what did Liam know, that didn't change the fact that he was seconds from losing the most important thing in his whole life. "Your friends told me that he's your boyfriend, is that correct?"

No idea why this would be essential for him to know, but Liam nodded anyways while looking down, wishing he could just change out of those stupid hospital clothes and be with Niall, he wasn't badly injured after all, it hurt, but nothing more. There were things that hurt way worse. "Yeah… please tell me if he's gonna be okay, I… I need to know, please, and I gotta go see him, what if he wakes up and I'm not there? He'll be scared and I… I need to be there for him, he's counting on me."

"You seem to care a lot about him." If Liam hadn't been so close to crying again he would've gotten mad, because hell, what kinda answers were that? 

"He's everything to me." And if Niall wasn't gonna wake up again, Liam would kill this man for just casually sitting her and chatting with him instead of going and taking care of Niall. 

"Well, that's good to know, I was a bit worried whether he's in good hands whenever he sneaks off for the whole weekend." Wait… "I wish it would've been nicer circumstances, but nice to meet you, I'm Niall's adoptive father."

For a moment, Liam just stared at the hand he was being offered before shaking it as if in trance, the information just sinking in very slowly, but it made sense, of course, Niall had told him that both his parents were doctors, but this came out of nowhere. "Um… nice to meet you too."

"I assume he told you that he's adopted, right?" It sounded very unsure for a second, as if the man was scared he had spilled some secrets but Liam just nodded absently, playing with his fingers again.

"He told me everything." Just so that he knew because Liam was very proud of having Niall's full trust and knowing his whole story, though he would've given all of this if the younger boy could just be alright again, even if he wouldn't want to be with Liam anymore afterwards, he just wanted him to wake up again, no matter at what cost. "Can I please go see him?"

"Look, Liam, there's really nothing we can do other than to wait whether he's gonna wake up or not, he's stable, he's got a few bad injuries, a broken wrist, a few cracked ribs, nothing that couldn't heal, but he suffered a really bad concussion as well and has lost a lot blood, we don't know if he's gonna wake up, it could be tomorrow or in a month, we don't know." _Could_ be tomorrow, just the possibility got Liam's heart bumping a lot faster, they hadn't given him up yet, there was a chance he might wake up, that man was a doctor, he knew what he was talking about. 

"Then we wait for a month, I don't care, he's gonna be alright, I know it." Niall could make it, he'd wanna come back to Liam, and he would, he just had to. 

"Yeah… I truly hope that you are right, Liam. Anyways, I do think it would be a good idea for you to go and see him, you're very close to him so it might help if you talk to him, hold his hand, just anything really, it's worth a try." Finally someone who understood Liam, he really hoped that this man was as alright as he seemed to be because Niall really deserved living with people that at least had some sense, even if he didn't get much time to spend with them, but he had Liam if he needed some cuddles or didn't want to be alone, right?

"When can I go? Now?" Actually, Liam was already about to get up despite the slight pinches of pain he still felt once in a while, but as soon as he had seen his bag that one of the others must've brought him, giving him a chance to maybe go there in normal clothes, he didn't even wait for an answer.

"Well, if you… feel well enough already then…" It sounded a bit unsure, but Liam didn't listen, quite happy about the fact that he at least had normal pants on, then again though, did it really matter?

Standing up hurt, in a few spots and not just once but all Liam allowed himself to do was press his eyes shut in pain for a second, while facing the wall so it would stay unnoticed, and then he just forced himself to walk as normally as possible, half ripping the zipper off the bag. "Yeah, I'm perfectly fine."

Pulling out the first clothes he found, Liam wasn't ashamed to just change in front of Niall's adoptive father, seriously, he had probably seen him in a whole lot worse state, besides, he didn't even say anything, but he was on his feet as well when Liam slipped his shoes on, not bothering with socks or anything, he almost felt pumped about this. "Alright, I'll bring you to him then."

He seemed to be impressed by Liam suppressing the pain, it wasn't too bad, his side ached with every step, his head pulsed uncomfortable, and various bruises all over his body did as well but it was more than bearable, he would've crawled there with a broken leg just to be able to see Niall.

As soon as they left the room, the other three immediately jumped up from the plastic chairs they had been sitting on, obviously more than just surprised about seeing Liam up and walking. "Liam, you just woke up like an hour ago!"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I'll go see Niall." Without them preferably, he couldn't need anybody there with him, he didn't know whether he'd be allowed to stay there by himself, but he didn't need those three, especially not Harry because looking at his red and wet face almost had Liam tearing up as well. Just keep yourself together, you'll see him and it'll be fine. 

"Sure that's a good idea?" Louis threw in, looking from Liam to the doctor who was standing next to him, almost getting Liam angry, because who the hell was Louis to tell him whether this was a good idea or not?! And why wouldn't it be anyways? "Just because um… some of Niall's bruises don't look too nice, I don't want Liam to freak out or anything."

"I won't freak out about-"

Before Liam could express his anger towards Louis for behaving like this, he got interrupted by Niall's adoptive father, saving him from starting a fight with his friends, not very wise in a serious situation like this. "It's the best way to maybe get Niall to respond."

Not even that seemed to convince them, well, Louis at least, because Zayn's expression was undefinable and Harry was just completely burned out and leaning against his boyfriend as if he might sleep in while standing. It was only now that Liam realized that they had probably worried the whole night and almost another day then, not only about Niall but also about him, even if it had been clear from the beginning that he'd be fine, but still, he didn't wanna be mean now or start a fight, it's just, his priorities where somewhere else. "Guys, I'm fine, I promise, I have to go and see him, I just do. You should go home and get some sleep, I'm alright and I got this now, if anything happens then I'll call you." 

"You sure about this, Li? We can also stay, you know." Of course they could but Liam really didn't want them to see him crying like before again, and he just wanted to be alone with Niall, because even though he tried not to make himself hopes, he was so desperately wishing that the younger boy would wake up because of Liam being there, it wouldn't happen, not today probably, but… he would wake up again, he HAD to.

"No, really, thank you for being here and I'm sorry for… you know." He felt like he had to apologize, because no matter how many times they told him that the other driver had been drunk, Liam couldn't help thinking about all the things he could've done to prevent this from happening. If he would've just reacted sooner, he could've pulled Niall over to his side, or gotten over to his so maybe he'd get all the injuries instead of him. 

"Liam, none of this is your fault, just finally get it into your head, okay? Come here." When Louis pulled him into a hug, Liam almost winced in pain but kept it together for the sake of his friends, just wrapping his arms around him in return, trying so hard not to tear up as Louis whispered into his ear. "It'll be fine, Li, he's gonna be okay, you'll get him back."

Louis probably didn't really think that but it was alright, Liam believed it for all of them, as the other two hugged him as well, Harry a bit way too tightly, squeezing all of his bruises in the most uncomfortable way possible. Then they left into the complete opposite direction and Liam made sure to wipe every emotion off of his face as he followed Niall's adoptive father through the hospital hallways, trying his hardest not to let the pain get to him, or the urge to sit down for just a second, the physical pain wasn't the worst thing anyways.

Niall wasn't in intensive care, but his room was pretty far away from Liam's, they even had to take an elevator, one that had such a big mirror that Liam almost got scared of his own reflection. He looked beyond horrible and worn out, the bandage on his head was leaking red, there were countless scratches and bruises all over his arms, he was pale as shit and it seemed as if he had just been crying for twelve hours instead of only one. 

Liam thought that he could hear his heart bumping as they stopped in front of a door and Niall's adoptive father turned to look at him, he hadn't been saying much all the way here, but now that Liam saw his face properly, it did seem as if he was kinda beaten down by the whole situation, which wasn't very encouraging really, but Liam tried to not let it affect him. "You can go in alone if you want, it's alright. And you can also stay for as long as you want to of course, I'll make sure everyone knows you can come and go as you please. If anything happens, just press the button next to his bed and also… I'll come in later to check your bandages, alright? But other than that, you're free to go home whenever you want to."

"A-Alright… thanks. A lot." That seemed to be the only good reason really, that he knew Niall and that he cared about him as well, it made it easier for Liam to believe that they really were doing everything for Niall that they could. 

For a moment, he thought the doctor would say something else, but then he just touched Liam's shoulder for a second, just lightly, probably aware of the bruise there, giving him something like a smile before leaving him alone.

Being so close to Niall was almost overwhelming, he was alive, that's all that should matter for now, and if Liam just believed hard enough, then things would be alright, it was impossible for them not to be, they just had to.

Trying to hold onto that, Liam pressed down the handle, not stopping to take a breath like he had wanted and just shoving himself inside, pulling the door closed behind him before allowing himself to look up, trying to keep it together even if no one was there anymore to watch him. 

To say that Niall looked worse than Liam was the least, even if his body was mostly covered in a blanket, making it unable to see any other bruises than his hand that was in a cast, the big bruises and bandages covering his arms, he even had them in his face, one side of his jaw was all purple, lips blue and cut plus he just looked really bad in general, even paler than he normally was already. To top it off there was a heart monitor and he had one of those things in his face by his nose that helped with breathing. It was the most horrible sight Liam had ever had.

Still, he bit his bottom lip hard, trying to force the tears building up in his eyes back inside his body. He was alive, his chest moved and that was all that mattered. For now at least, it had to.

Carefully, Liam pulled the chair a bit closer that had already been there, never letting his eyes drift away from Niall's face in the slightest bit, still feeling relieved despite everything, he could've been killed, he could've never seen that boy again yet here he was. "Hey, baby…"

Liam half choked on the words as he sat, almost too scared of hurting or breaking Niall than to reach out, he hesitated for a moment before brushing the blonde fringe out of the boy's forehead, having to swallow hard because of all the memories popping up of when he had done this so many times before, with Niall's bright face right in front of his. What if he'd never see that again?

Stroking various parts of the boy's face wherever he wasn't injured, Liam couldn't take it anymore after a while and he leaned forward, a tear spilling over without him being able to do anything as he pressed his lips against Niall's temple gently, letting out an involuntary sob. "Please wake up, Ni… you can't leave me like this, alright? You have to come back to me, I… I can't do this without you, babe, I need you. I need you more than anything else, so please, _please_ fight hard, for me, okay? I'm so sorry, Nialler… I should've watched out better, it… it's all my fault, and it's not fair, that you have to pay for it. It should be me there, not you, you don't deserve any of this, I'm so sorry…god… you're everything to me, baby, please. Please, wake up."

The hardest part maybe was that Niall didn't do as much as flinch, that Liam had known all along that he wouldn't magically wake up just because he was here now, but somehow it still hurt now. Seeing him like this was almost unbearable, it seemed so hopeless, as if he might never even do as much as move a finger again and Liam just kinda lost it then.

No one was there to hear him crying so he didn't bother holding back, clenching Niall's hand as tightly as he thought would be alright, just letting the tears drop because fuck it, this was way too hard, he wouldn't survive this, sitting here for weeks maybe and never knowing whether Niall might wake up or not. Or what if he sat here, for god knows how long just to find out that he wouldn't make it? Just have him dying from one second to the other?

Liam had no idea how much time passed by, or how many times he begged Niall to wake up, squeezed his hand and peppered kisses onto every spot that didn't seem like it hurt, all he knew was that in the end, he must've fallen into a restless sleep from exhaustion, with his head next to Niall's arm.

 

————————

 

In the first week, Liam still had hope left, everyone had, he was there with Niall all day long, every day, not giving a fuck about uni anymore. Even if he would've wanted to go, he simply didn't have the strength to, he wouldn't have even managed to listen to just one single word. No one said anything either, Louis, Harry and Zayn sometimes came to visit but everyone mostly left Liam alone, probably sensing that that's exactly what he wanted.

The second week, they started trying to get him to come home more often, but he hardly compiled, only doing it do change his clothes or whatever before straight coming back, not with a car though, Liam wouldn't get into a car anymore if his life depended on it. Speaking of which, Louis' was more than just broken, he had told Liam that it was fine but it wasn't of course, so Liam had wordlessly given him the keys to his dad's car, he had thought about selling it but… what exactly was he gonna do with money now? It wouldn't magically bring him Niall back, nothing would.

The third week maybe was the very hardest, because it seemed like it had been forever already, and everyone stopped telling Liam that it would be alright, probably already giving up but he tried to stay strong, even if all the doctor's and nurses kept looking at him with that pitiful face, as if he was insane for still being here. 

Niall's and his injuries were starting to heal, which was the only nice affect, it was less painful to look at the younger boy now, or maybe it was just because Liam had gotten so used to the sight, he felt like he hadn't slept in a real bed for ages, always in that chair, sometimes with his head on the mattress, but that was it really, he preferred staying awake anyways, just in case Niall woke up, or moved, or did whatever, he didn't wanna miss it.

But nothing ever happened. 

 

—————————

 

"Hey, Li, what are you doing?" Harry was leaning against the doorframe, he had used that voice again that he had for Liam now, careful, soft yet somehow a little careful as well, as if he was scared he'd set him off any second. Because he had, many times, and Louis as well, but it wasn't Liam's fault really, he had almost spent a whole _month_ like this, what did they expect?

"Um, I'm packing some stuff." He was feeling a bit anxious, he hadn't been at the hospital for a few hours now, mostly because he had had to shower and then explain to his boss why he couldn't come in this weekend either. Well, he had almost gotten fired, but only almost, which was quite impressive actually. 

"What for?" Maybe Harry wasn't aware of how obviously he was giving himself away by walking so awkwardly into the room, talking to Liam almost as if he was a child.

"For when I got to the hospital in a bit, what do you think?" Seriously, it's not as if Harry didn't know, Liam didn't stop walking around in his room, looking for things, not bothering about Harry sitting down on his hardly used bed. 

"Right, um… you know what I wanted to ask you… did you find anybody to buy the house yet?" Liam had decided that that would be the best, he had sent Harry and Louis there to take everything they thought might still be useful before getting an estate agent so he wouldn't have to bother with it anymore. Apparently the house was worth something and his dad had left him all his money as well, so that was another reason as to why Liam didn't care about getting fired. It really would make no sense right now to go there and stack fucking shelves.

"Yeah, a few people looked at it I suppose, I don't know, I'm not the one selling it in the end." Honestly, did it matter?

"Okay…" Then Harry stayed silent for a bit, playing with his fingers as Liam checked briefly, not bothering too much with his friend's presence, he was really tired, and stressed out and damn… he missed Niall. So much, every day, all the time, it was like an open wound that never healed and kept pulsing uncomfortably, no matter what he did or where he went, he could always feel it. Feel that something was missing. "Do you wanna… come to the living room for a bit? Louis and I wanted to, um… talk to you."

Having a conversation with them sounded like the worst thing, but they forced him to it sometimes, trying to keep the topics natural and make him laugh or at least cheer him up a little. Usually, Liam played a long, to make them happy, because he knew that they were worried about him, so he just nodded, half shrugging, deciding not to stay for longer than fifteen minutes before he'd leave. "Yeah, okay, I'll be there in a second."

"Alright." And then Harry left him again, a little bit too quickly maybe but that was okay, Liam knew that no one could really stand to be around him, which he couldn't blame them for. Besides, he wasn't really keen on any company either.

As Liam pulled the zipper of his bag, he truly wished he could have just left right now instead of having to join the other two, but he'd do it for them, for a few minutes, even if he was anxious about not seeing Niall for so long. His adoptive dad had promised to call Liam immediately in case anything changed or so, but it still made him nervous to not be there in person.

Coming into the living room, the mood already seemed to be quite awkward, but Liam pretended not to notice at first, sitting down onto the couch that Louis and Harry weren't on, trying to act casual. "So, what's up?"

"Well…" Louis was the one who spoke up, without looking at Liam though, and Harry wasn't either, he seemed to wish that he could've just disappeared into the back of the couch judging by how tightly he pressed himself into there. What was wrong with them? If they didn't wanna have boring smalltalk like they usually did then why were they wasting Liam's time he could spend somewhere he actually wanted to be? "We… we were just wondering if maybe… you wanted to stay home tonight, you know, um… "

"Why would I?" He hadn't done that in weeks, sure, sometimes he slept in at home but it usually were accidents, he hated sleeping here, so far away, god knows what could've happened in the meantime. 

"Just because, um… you look tired, Li. I mean… not sleepy but, exhausted. And we're worried, you know, maybe you should take a break." Now THAT was unexpected, they sometimes tried to get him to stay home for a bit, but never like this, at least that explained their uncomfortable faces.

"A break?! I can't just take a fucking break from this, what's that even supposed to mean?" Immediately, Louis looked up, as if the slight anger in Liam's voice had changed his mind within a heartbeat, as if he didn't want to upset him for nothing in the world.

"I didn't wanna make you mad, I'm sorry. All I wanted to say was that maybe you should sleep a night in your bed, you know…or a few nights, I mean…" Oh god. Now Liam got it, this wasn't their usual 'Let's forcefully cheer up Liam', this was way worse.

"No, I can't, what if he wakes up? I gotta be there." At this Louis and Harry exchanged a look that made Liam want to punch both of them in the stomach, he wasn't fucking dumb enough for him to not notice things like that, or when they talked about him behind his back sometimes, he just never commented on it.

"Liam, it's been 26 days of this and… you know if he wakes up then you can be there in like 20 minutes, they're gonna call you, you don't have to be there all the time, you're exhausted, I know you are, and I get it, this must be nerve wrecking as hell." Apparently Louis was trying to act understanding now, but Liam just looked away, trying hard not to roll his eyes.

"No, I gotta be there when he wakes up, alright? Why don't you get that?" Liam purposely used 'when' instead of 'if', though he wasn't all that convinced, he just told himself every single day that he was until he would believe it. 

"Why, Liam? Why do you have to be there day and night, you don't sleep, you don't eat, you don't get to uni anymore, this is not healthy. If Niall wakes up he'll be confused as hell but you can be there in no time and-"

"No, I gotta be there when he opens his eyes, okay? I… gotta tell him something, as soon as possible." Maybe that sounded psycho as hell but they already thought about him this way, anyways, Liam regretted blurting out with it because now his eyes filled with tears and he quickly looked away, trying to breathe evenly.

"What do you have to tell him, Li?" Louis' voice was softer now, he had probably seen Liam's eyes getting shiny, so he rubbed at them shortly, not looking away from his fingers as he spoke.

"I… I gotta tell him that I love him. I didn't… I mean… I was about to do it in the car, because… because he said it too and I didn't, because I was a second too late and… he just has to know." That was one point that was on Liam's mind constantly, he had never told Niall that, not once, and when he woke up he was going to tell him every single day for the rest of their lives, Liam had sworn that to himself, he'd never miss a chance again to do it. 

There was quite a depressing silence following after that, maybe one of the other two had to sniff though Liam didn't dare looking up to check, scared his tears might spill over if he did. "Li… he knows. He knows that you love him, okay? I know he does."

"No, he doesn't, Louis. Because I never told him, but I have to do it, as soon as he wakes up, I will." That alone wasn't the only reason why he needed to be there though, it's just… where else would he have been? He wanted to be with Niall, hold his hand, talk to him even without getting an answer, but once he'd wake up he'd be confused and Liam wanted to be there to tell him what had happened, make sure he wasn't confused or anything. 

"Okay, but Liam… you can tell him that also as soon as-"

"No. Why don't you wanna fucking get it into your head? What if it was Harry there, would you wanna hang around here with me and Zayn and have stupid smalltalks about whatever shit happened at the store today? I gotta be there, okay, he's gonna ask himself why I'm gone when he wakes up and I'm not there, he won't know what's going on and I need to make sure he's alright, because I always do. I'm not gonna leave him there by himself, he needs me and I haven't been there in a few hours anyways, I should go now." His tears were so close to spilling over it, was a wonder that they hadn't already, but Liam got up anyways, without looking at any of the others, collecting his bag off of the floor when suddenly, Harry made him stop in his movement.

"Liam… what if …what if he doesn't wake up?" No one had ever dared saying this in front of Liam, he didn't even wanna hear it, didn't wanna think about it, Harry had almost just been whispering, but it was enough to get Liam furious as he turned around to glare at him, immediately more than just mad. 

"Shut the fuck up, Haz, he WILL wake up! It's not even been a month, okay, it's completely normal that he's not awake yet, it doesn't mean anything, and he's been stable the whole time, he's going to be just fine and I really have to go now. Bye." With that, he walked away to put his shoes on, turning his back on the other two who had watched him talking in shock, maybe because it had been so fucking obvious that in reality, Liam hadn't been trying to convince those two, he had been trying to convince himself. 

"Liam, please, let's talk about this, calmly, no yelling. You're making us look like the bad guys but we want him to wake up just as much as you, Niall wouldn't have wanted for you to almost kill yourself just so you can be there 24/7, you gotta sleep sometimes, and eat properly, and do something else besides sitting in that chair." Whatever Harry said, it just went past Liam, he couldn't bear just considering not going to the hospital right now, he didn't care how long he'd have to keep on doing this, a few more months, maybe a year, he was up for it, for as long as Niall was still breathing, Liam wasn't gonna waste a second with him.

Still, he turned around at the door to face his more than frustrated looking friends, already touching the handle. "I don't care if you guys get it or not, this is where I gotta be and you can't say anything to change my mind."

With that, Liam almost ripped the door open, hearing something behind him that sounded a lot like 'Fucking shit' before the door smashed closed again and Liam was hurrying down the few stairs, wiping at his eyes a little bit. He didn't like fighting with them, but what else had he been supposed to do? Niall was the most important thing to him in the whole entire world, of course he'd be right there next to him and hold his hand, where else did his friends think he would rather be?

There were a lot of disadvantages about taking the bus, one, Liam couldn't openly cry and two, it always took way too long and gave him too much time to think that he didn't even wanna have, but it was still better than driving a car, Liam wouldn't have minded sitting in a car while someone else was driving, but he sure as wouldn't get behind a wheel anymore. Even if he hadn't been the one driving when his mother had died obviously, Liam still felt guilty for it, because, what if he had actually distracted her like his dad had said? And now Niall. He couldn't risk this another time.

When he got to the hospital, it wasn't too extremely late yet visitor times were over anyways, not that Liam would've cared about that, thanks to Niall's adoptive parents, all he had to do was go say hi to one of the nurses working on the floor Niall's room was on to tell them that he was there. Maybe it wasn't exactly a good thing that they all knew him by his name already.

Nothing had changed as Liam quietly slipped into the room, throwing a look at Niall's completely unchanged face, just to be sure, closing the door then to go walk over to his boyfriend. He looked better, the thing to help him breathing was gone, his bruises were healing, a little more color in his face, he even smelled more like himself again as Liam leaned down to kiss his forehead gently, brushing a finger over his soft cheek. "Hey, baby boy… I miss you."

As usual, Liam just sat down after that, taking a few minutes to just look at Niall, sometimes placing his hand over where the boy's heart was, just to be sure it was still beating, that he was still here somehow.

Today though, he just intertwined their fingers, desperately wishing that his squeeze would get returned yet he didn't expect it to anymore, he had, for like a week, always been staring at Niall thinking that he had seen him flinch or something, but of course, it had only been him wishing that it had been this way. So he just sat there instead, rubbing his thumb over Niall's rather cool hand while watching his face before just starting to ramble, because that's what he always did when he got here, just hoping Niall could hear him. 

"You know what I'm really scared of, babe? That I'm gonna forget about what it felt like, you know, to kiss you, have you sit on my lap, sleep in and get up with you, all that. I don't wanna forget it, but what if you don't wake up for another few months? I don't know what to do, Ni… you know I'd wait forever for you, right? And I will, I know you're gonna wake up, and then I'm never gonna let go of you again, I promise. I just wish that… that it'd be soon, because I… I really miss you, baby. I miss everything, Ni, even if it's just tiny little things like the way you always stick your tongue between your teeth when you're concentrated." Liam let out a breathless laugh all to himself, it wasn't funny though, he wasn't amused in the slightest, there were tears about to spill over as he continued. "Just please, please come back to me, okay? I need you so much, I know I say that every day I'm here, but it's true, Ni, you're everything to me, and that's never gonna change, I promise, okay? Please try." 

Then Liam slowly pulled his hand away, wiping at his eyes a little before going for his bag that was on the floor, pulling a book out, he did that sometimes, reading them to Niall, because it was less likely that he'd start crying while reading and almost choke on his tears and he just wanted to keep on talking, just in case it really helped. 

"I wonder if you'd even like the books I'm bringing, but I guess everyone likes Harry Potter, right? I mean we watched a few parts together, I liked that, but I'm not sure if you did too because you passed out in my lap after half an hour. Which is okay, don't get me wrong, I rather watched you than the movie anyways, you looked really cute. I mean you always do anyways, but especially when you fall asleep on top of me, I really like that…" For a moment, Liam stopped, a little lost in memories, for a moment almost starting to cry because of how unbearable it was to think about that he might never have that again. Niall coming to cuddle up with him because he was tired and wanted Liam to hold him, but he cleared his throat then, quickly opening the book. "I forgot where I stopped… I guess you won't mind if I just start again at this chapter, right?"

Liam couldn't remember anymore because he had slept in last time, but he was pretty awake now as he held the book with one hand, threading his fingers through Niall's with his free one. This made it a bit complicated to change the page, but Liam didn't mind, for as long as he got to hold Niall's hand meanwhile, this hardly seemed to be a bother.

For an hour or two, Liam just kept on reading out loud for Niall, interrupting one time to go to the bathroom then, but not even that movement kept him from getting tired really quickly, he always did lately, because he never properly slept through a whole night. Harry and Louis had been right, only regarding this one point, but Liam liked being so tired anyways, it made his mind a bit blurry, which helped if he didn't wanna think too much. 

As it got harder to keep his eyes open, Liam gave up on trying to even understand his own words anymore, just walking over quickly to turn off the main light, only leaving the one next to Niall's bed on. Just in case, he didn't want them to be in complete darkness, because if Niall woke up he'd be confused enough already. 

Making sure to tug the younger boy in properly, move his pillow a bit, Liam leaned down to just lightly brush their lips together, stroking his hand down Niall's cheek and neck to the collar of his sweater. It was Liam's actually, they had changed him into normal clothes because what did it matter anyways, plus he'd feel more comfortable in those clothes than the other ones when he woke up. At least that's what Liam had said, but no one had ever answered him. "Goodnight, Ni… I don't know if you're dreaming but I hope you have no nightmares. If you do then I'm here though, okay? No need to be scared." 

With another kiss to the boy's forehead, Liam moved the chair a bit closer, so that he could hold Niall's hand more comfortably, slipping down until he could rest his head against the back of the chair, just watching Niall face, imaging that he was just sleeping, that he'd wake up with the boy having climbed over into his lap like he would do if he were awake. 

It helped a little bit. 

Liam had absolutely no idea when he had started drifting off, or if he had even slept at all because it didn't feel like he had closed his eyes for just one second as he almost jerked up from his chair at some quite loud bang.

He almost panicked for a moment before he looked down and realized what it had been, the book had fallen off of Niall's bed, he must've left it there on accident instead of putting it back into his bag, that's how tired he had been.

As Liam leaned over to get it back though, he suddenly froze right in the movement as two things suddenly crossed his mind. One, why hadn't he been holding Niall's hand anymore, usually he always woke up just like he had fallen asleep and two… why would a book just randomly fall off of a bed anyways, if it hadn't been lying anywhere close to the edge?

Within half a second, Liam had jumped onto his feet, his heart bumping faster than it probably ever had before as he stared down at the blonde boy, not being able to believe his eyes. He had MOVED, Niall was lying on his side now, a hand tugged under his cheek, the one Liam had been holding, he must've kicked the book off with his legs. Oh god.

Immediately, Liam was leaning over him, rubbing his shoulder, shaking it a little bit, trying not to make himself any false hopes, even if it seemed to already be to late for that. Just _please_. "Niall? Hey, Niall, baby, can you hear me? Please, come on, you just moved, please wake up."

There was no reaction whatsoever as Liam continued to try and shake the boy softly, running his fingers through his hair and rubbing his arm and back, tears stinging in his eyes when nothing happened. Fuck, but Niall had moved, without a doubt, and usually that wasn't too extraordinary, but this time he had turned around and pulled his hand out of Liam's, he shouldn't have reactions like this whilst being in a coma. 

Still though, Liam sat back in the chair then, kinda defeatedly a little bit, he even thought about going to search for some nurse and tell her what had happened, just so that he could have someone telling him that this was a good sign. That Niall would wake up again soon.

Instead though, he decided to give it one more try, this time, pressing his lips to Niall's temple, then to his ear before whispering. "Please, Ni, come on, wake up, please, just-"

"Hmm… but … 'm tired…" Oh god. Hearing his voice was like, the greatest thing Liam had ever experienced, he couldn't believe that this was happening, couldn't believe that Niall had just actually _answered_ him, after a month almost, just like this. 

With his tears already having spilled over, Liam tried not to sob or scream, leaning back a little, hoping that he wasn't shaking too much as he stroked Niall's hair, trying to keep his voice calm and soft. "I know you are, Ni, but please… just open your eyes, okay? Just for a second, look at me, baby, please."

Niall moved again undoubtedly, and then, he rolled onto his back all of a sudden under Liam's eyes that had gotten wide as he watched the blonde boy rubbing at his eyes, stopping then as if he was confused, and then FINALLY, he looked at Liam, with sleepy, blue eyes, confusion written all across his face. He was _awake_. "Li…? What… where am I… why… why are you crying did anything… ow. My arm, why is it in a cast did I-"

"You're alive." Was all Liam choked out, he couldn't take this, couldn't hold back anymore and as much as he wanted to go and kiss Niall all over, never let go ever again, he just buried his face in his hands and started crying, out of relief. Niall was awake. He was alive. Liam had gotten him back. No matter how many times he had imagined this moment, it had never come close to feeling as good as it did right this second.

"Liam! Why are you crying?! Wait… are we in hospital, is it… oh my god!" Niall seemed to remember then, there was some moving on the bed but Liam just couldn't bring himself to lift his head, he was crying so hard, he had never been so relived in his whole entire life. "The car… Liam, did you not get hurt at all? Are you alright, yeah? How long have I been here?"

"A m-month." Liam croaked out, desperately trying to calm down again, so he could look at Niall, because there was nothing he wanted to do more right now. His baby was alive.

" _What_?! A MONTH?!" Niall was understandably confused, but it was alright, Liam could explain everything to him, he didn't mind, he was so happy he couldn't believe it, he actually thought for a moment that he was still asleep, that he had gone so insane already that he was having such realistic dreams, but then suddenly, a hand wrapped around his wrist slowly, pulling a bit. "Liam… Look at me, please…" 

It was kinda ironic that he said that, Liam almost choked out a laugh as he finally gave in to Niall trying to get him to lift his head, wiping at his wet face, but not making it any better in the end, he ignored his tears, just staring at Niall who had sat up, as if he was completely alright and fine. As if he had always been. "Did I ever tell you… you got the most beautiful eyes in the whole world."

Which was more than true, Niall's hand had slipped from Liam's wrist again, he was just looking at him now, still confused, maybe also because Liam couldn't help but suddenly smile weakly even though he still hadn't stopped crying, his emotions were all over the place. How could they have NOT been though?! This was like a miracle, Niall _sitting_ in his bed, just like this, after a month of torture, looking right at Liam with his baby blue eyes, cocking his head slightly, and that just did it for Liam really.

Before Niall could really respond or do anything at all, Liam had gotten up, trying to be as gently as possible despite his excitement and heart wanting to jump out as he cupped Niall's face in his hands, sucking in a breath before kissing the boy's forehead, and then his nose, and his lips, his hairline, his eyebrows, just everywhere until the younger boy was giggling, almost causing Liam to have a stroke. He had almost thought he'd never hear this again, any of this, Niall's voice, his laugh, or feel his hand cupping the back of his neck to keep him close. This couldn't be real. "Li, can I just ask you-"

"I love you." So that was how Liam just blurted it out, finally, without thinking, not the slightest bit embarrassed as he would've been a month ago, still holding Niall's face in his palms, as carefully as if he was made out of glass, immediately causing the younger boy to stop talking, just returning his stare. "I love you so much, Ni, I don't know if you know how much but it's insane. I love you more than anything in the world and I was just too much of a coward as to tell you sooner and I almost messed my chance to tell you up but I'm gonna remind you of it now, as often as I can, I promise."

Niall stayed quiet for a moment, putting the hand that was in a cast over Liam's, sending a few tingles through his arm because of how intense every touch felt now, then he smiled briefly, a little sad, not the smile Liam would've died for to see. "I love you too, Liam, I hope you know that. But, um… what do you mean, you… you almost wasted your chance? And… was I really passed out? For a whole month?!"

Right, Niall would want answers now, but it was fine, Liam was willing to really do every single little thing that boy requested. He kissed his forehead once more before slowly letting go of him, trying to wipe the tears off of his cheeks while sitting down on the edge of the bed, immediately having Niall scoot as close as possible. God, how Liam had missed this. "You know, um… that accident we had… it was a drunk driver and he… hit the passenger side really badly, hit _you_ really badly. I woke up like, a day later and um… they said they weren't sure if you'd wake up too, like… ever."

"Wait… there was a possibility I could've died? You didn't know for a whole month if I would even wake up again?!" It seemed barely possible now looking at Niall like this, bruises already starting to fade, sitting up normally on the bed, but Liam just nodded slowly, not trusting his voice as he brushed his fingers through Niall's hair steadily. There was no chance in hell he'd ever stop touching him again. "Oh god… it's really been four weeks, I… can't even imagine that. Did anything happen, like, anything I should know?"

"Nothing really, I just… I was here the most time anyways, you know… 'cos they said if I talked to you you might respond to my voice. So I… well I hope you didn't mind me reading you Harry Potter." Liam's chuckle sounded fake, it was actually, he was tearing up once again, not being able to progress this, that he actually was talking to him right now, that Niall was pressed up against his side and looking at him, Liam was the happiest person in the entire world right now. 

"You did that? And stayed here, even over night? In that uncomfortable chair?" Niall seemed a bit unbelievable, his eyes were wide, making him look so much more younger and innocent that Liam couldn't help but nod slowly, pressing a kiss to the boy's nose.

"Where else would I have been, Ni? I needed to make sure I'd be there when you wake up." Trying to smile turned into a disaster because just as he did, a tear spilled over that Liam didn't bother to wipe away. But Niall did, with a more than worried face, stroking Liam's face a little longer afterwards, not seeming to mind one bit that Liam had gotten very lazy with shaving. "I missed you like hell, baby…."

"Oh, Li…" For a moment, it seemed as if Niall would break out into tears as well, but before Liam knew, the younger boy had wrapped his arms around his neck, tightly for having gotten hurt so badly, his face buried into Liam's shoulder as it usually was. Or had been, but that thought, of how long he hadn't experienced this, got Liam way too sad. "I'm sorry…"

"Why are you sorry, Ni?" Hugging back immediately, not minding the weird position it got them in, he just wanted to hold Niall, bury his face in the blonde hair, placing kisses over kisses there all while trying not to start sobbing again. He'd have to call Louis and Harry god, it was probably like 4 am, but still, he'd have to tell everybody, but for now, Liam just wanted Niall for himself.

"Because you had to go through this and… you didn't even know whether I was gonna make it. If it had been you here… and I wouldn't have gotten to talk to you, or kiss you, or be with you for a whole month, I… I would've gone insane." Well, he wasn't the only one. "And all while not knowing wether you'd ever open your eyes again… I'm so sorry, Liam. I love you."

"I love you too, Ni… so fucking much, I can't tell you how happy I am right now, I wouldn't have known what to do without you, babe, a few times, I… you know the others said that maybe you… you won't make it and then a few times I thought…. I thought you were gonna die. That I'd never get to hold you again, I… I wouldn't have survived that." And then out of nowhere, Liam just couldn't stand it any longer as the urge to cry got overwhelming, he clung to Niall, trying his best to at least not shake too much but the younger boy immediately noticed anyways.

"Liam, ssh, it's okay, everything's okay now, I'm fine, alright? I'd never leave you, I love you so much, I'd always come back to you, please don't cry." While speaking in that soft, calming voice that only he could have, Niall rubbed Liam's back soothingly, bringing his other hand up to rest at the back of his neck, rocking them a little. 

"I-I'm s-sorry…. I j-just… m-missed you s-so m-much…" Liam wasn't someone to start crying like this without a reason, he actually wasn't even sure if he had ever cried like this before, all he knew was that when Niall pressed his lips against his ear and neck, continuing to whisper sweet nothings to him, he couldn't hold back anymore. Things had just kept building up the last few weeks, not only had he missed Niall so terribly it had hurt, he also was so exhausted from all of this, from crying and hardly ever sleeping and those nerve wrecking thoughts about how much longer all of this would go on. 

"Li, hey… lie down with me, okay?" As if Niall knew just how fucking tired he was, he slowly attempted to pull away from Liam, just a little until he could look at his wet, red face, moving his hands to rub his thumbs across Liam's cheeks gently, wiping a few tears. "Come on, it'll be fine."

Liam just nodded weakly, unwillingly letting go of Niall's hips, having the younger boy kiss his forehead before moving over on the bed, smiling encouragingly, but still not as brightly as Liam would've liked to, even though it was probably his own fault, for not being able to stop crying. Even just the time Liam took to slip his shoes off and scoot to Niall's side seemed to be too long without touching the younger boy, Liam would never let him out of his reach ever again. 

They adjusted so easily lying down together, the only difference was that it was Niall who kept his arm around Liam and pulled him down to rest his head in the crook of his shoulder, reaching for the blanket then to cover the both of them. "I know you're tired, you should-"

"I'm not gonna sleep." Sounding serious was hard when Liam's throat was still so tight, he tangled his legs up with Niall's, wrapping an arm around his stomach, not too tight though, he knew Niall somewhere had had a big bruise there.

"Okay… but if you do it's okay, I'll stay awake anyways." As if Niall sensed that Liam somehow was panicking a little at the thought of having Niall sleep in, like… what if he didn't wake up anymore afterwards?! And he himself couldn't sleep either, he needed to keep an eye on the boy, even if he was tired as fuck. 

"Me too." Even though having Niall's scent right up his nose and the boy's arms wrapped around him tightly, fingers brushing through his hair, Liam wasn't so sure anymore, he let his eyes fall closed, just to rest them a bit of course.

"Okay, Li…" His voice was really soft, lips brushing up against Liam's forehead whenever Niall talked, warming his skin with his hot breath, it felt like heaven right now, seriously. To be tangled up with Niall underneath the blanket, all warm and comfortable, maybe that was another reason why Liam hadn't slept, because he hadn't been wanting to be alone just to get reminded of how Niall was missing everywhere he went or whatever he did. 

"We should go tell somebody that you're awake… like your dad and-"

"You know my dad?" Niall sounded a bit confused but he didn't stop stroking Liam, kissing his temple softly.

"I do… we're in the hospital he's working at and well… he got me the permission to come here whenever I want to, I just… I feel guilty for not telling anybody or calling the others, just… I don't wanna share you right now…" Or ever again, Liam snuggled a bit closer into Niall, still keeping his eyes closed, inhaling quietly to calm himself down with the boy's familiar scent, he hadn't thought it would be possible to ever feel this alright again. More than that actually, perfect.

Niall giggled a little bit at that, causing Liam's heart to make a jump, already wanting to cry yet again but he kept it together, pressing his eyes shut tightly. "Everyone else is probably asleep anyways, that can wait, I'm all yours, Li."

Goosebumps rose on Liam's arms because of Niall whispering into his ear before kissing it lightly, nuzzling his face into Liam's hair. "I love you…"

"I love you too, Liam, so much." It was a mystery to Liam how he had lived one single day without constantly telling Niall that, he deserved it, deserved somebody who told him how loved he was and how gorgeous and wonderful, Liam would make sure of that from now on.

"Can you keep on talking? About anything, I just… I missed hearing your voice." Liam was mumbling into Niall's sweater, trying his hardest to stay fully awake now, he really couldn't allow himself to drift off, he needed to make sure Niall was 100% alright and fine, he couldn't waste a second they could have spent together.

"Of course, Li." Moving a little, Niall brought them even closer together if that was even possible, still combing Liam's hair with his fingers, his other hand pressed against his cheek, shielding his face. "You know, because of what you said, that they said it might help if you talked to me. I think I… I dreamed of you saying my name, only, it wasn't dreaming it was just… weird. And you said a few more things as well, maybe… maybe it even was you reading to me, I can't remember it properly anymore, but it definitely was your voice. Right before, when I woke up you know, I really had the urge to open my eyes, get back to you, I had that a few times actually, is that weird? I think it's because I felt that you were there, and I heard you, so it probably really was you who made me try and wake up, I mean… I'd always come back for you, Li, I'd never ever leave you, I promise. Also, I'm pretty sure they'll let me leave really early and then we can make up for everything, okay?"

And then Niall kept going on about what they could be doing for the next few days, how excited and happy he was, maybe saying a few more times how much he loved Liam, how sorry he was for putting him through this, and Liam would've told him that it wasn't his fault at all, that he was just happy to have him back, but he was too sleepy to even move.

Despite trying so hard to stay awake, Liam did fall asleep with his face still buried in Niall's shoulder, with the blonde boy's soothing voice as a background noise, he just couldn't help it. For the first time in a month Liam finally had that weight lifted off of him, he was finally alright again and with that, his exhaustion became impossible to ignore.

Liam had no idea when he woke up again, only thing he noticed was that he had finally slept without having nightmares or being restless. The next thing was, he was still in the position he had fallen asleep in, cuddled against Niall under the blanket, holding onto his sweater slightly. A hand resting on his arm and fingers playing with his hair, thumbing at his ear, almost had Liam passing right back out, if it hadn't been for Niall talking quietly, with his wonderful voice that almost got Liam smiling. "…yeah, he slept through all of it, even when my dad came in, he's so exhausted I feel really bad."

Oh. Then that meant it was already the next morning, but at least people now knew that Niall was awake, another thing Liam didn't have to worry about anymore. Only who exactly was he talking to? "It's no wonder, he never slept more than a few hours, sometimes he just didn't at all. And he was constantly crying, getting worked up at every tiny thing, it was so awful to watch we didn't know what to do, if you hadn't woken up, Ni, it would've completely killed him." 

Louis. So Harry was there as well probably, Liam felt a bit bad for not having called them but they were here now so whatever, besides, Niall pressed his soft lips against his forehead at that, making his worries fade. "I know… if it had been the other way around I… I wouldn't have known what to do, I can't imagine how he must've felt, when I woke up he was crying the whole time too and it was obvious how tired he was but he refused to go to sleep at first."

"He's scared, Niall, might take a while for him to get over this, I've never seen him this way." That was right, but not like Liam could've changed that in any way, he'd always be afraid now, of something happening to his Niall, he'd take extra good care of him from now on.

"Yeah… but it's okay, I like when he's cuddly like this, and I'm sure my parents won't mind if I spend more time with him now, I mean, even more than we already have which is a lot. I just want him to forget this, and be alright again, there's nothing worse than seeing him like this." While speaking, Niall was stroking the hair behind Liam's hair, his other hand moving a bit, rubbing over his back, squeezing him more tightly, almost pushing Liam over the edge again, he was still so tired.

"He'll be okay now, Niall, don't worry about him, he's strong and he's got you back. And you're welcome to stay at the flat whenever you want, you can also move in if you feel like it, you know." Hell, Liam would be over the moon if Niall really did move in, he didn't have to though, at one point Liam would ask him if he wanted to get their own place with him, but that could wait for a bit. 

"I think I'm gonna stay for a while, I gotta talk about this with Liam, but I think he wants me to as well, I mean…" There was a fond chuckle that warmed Liam's heart, _of course_ Liam wanted Niall to stay with him, forever preferably. "But what about uni though? Did he stop going? And work?"

"The last time he's been to any of those was before the thing with his… dad happened. He was here the whole time with you, whenever we tried to make him sleep at home just one night he freaked out completely, but like… I get it, I mean, if it would've been Harry, I would've been the exact same way. Besides… he's got his dad's money now and he's selling the house, he probably won't feel not going to work." Liam would've told Niall all of that himself, it's just, he had had other things on his mind before, at least Louis kinda got it, if not completely, just hopefully Niall wouldn't be mad that he didn't heard all of that from Liam.

"Really? That's good, it's better for him if he doesn't have to see the house again anyways. And because of uni… I wouldn't have gone either if our places had been switched, I wish he wouldn't have felt so bad because of me and exhausted himself so much but… I'm so glad he was there when I woke up." Warmth spread in Liam's stomach as Niall started touching his ear again fondly, pressing another little kiss onto his skin before resting is cheek against his hair.

There was a short silence after that, Liam almost passed out again, he wasn't so sure anymore whether Harry was here as well, maybe he was asleep, god knows how late it was, he didn't wanna 'wake up' just yet, just move a little bit, more towards Niall and the younger boy immediately held him tighter, pressing a kiss to his hair just as Louis spoke up again. "He loves you so much, Niall, he really does, you're so good for him, he needs you, more than anything else, please never give up on him."

"I won't, I love him just as much, Louis, and I need him too, he saved me, you know. I never would've thought I'd get any of this, a perfect relationship, someone I truly love, but I did, like, he's taking care of me and protecting me and he's funny and sweet, he always supports me and I like everything when we're together, just… he's everything I ever wanted." Those words almost caused Liam to just sit up and crash his lips against Niall's, kiss him until they'd both run out of breath, instead he just stayed like this, trying so hard not to smile and get noticed, because of how genuine Niall had sounded, how his words had resembled exactly the way Liam thought about him as well.

Plus, he hadn't even known that Liam had heard him, so it had been the absolute truth, he really did think they had the perfect relationship, he _loved_ Liam and nothing in the world could've made him happier. 

Everything would be fine now.


	10. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I know I would've usually only updated tomorrow but I just felt like doing it now, so enjoy I guess! And thanks to everybody who read the whole thing & left me kudos and comments, it's really motivating :) Hope everyone will enjoy this!

It almost made Liam laugh as he entered his room, if the sight wouldn't have been too adorable, or if it weren't for the fact that Niall had managed to sleep up until now, with the blanket almost completely kicked off, his sweatpants having slipped down to being just a centimeter away from inappropriate, no shirt, of course. Yet he still managed to look like an angel, even while snoring a bit, maybe even having drooled on the mattress, Liam wasn't so sure as he walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, grinning as he reached out for his boyfriend.

"Nialler…" Liam singsonged, holding back a chuckle while rubbing his hand over the boy's tummy, patting his chest a bit but only getting a grunt. "Time to wake up, baby boy."

"…go away…" No matter how much time passed by, Niall would never have an easy time waking up, he attempted to turn away from Liam and curl up into a ball, but Liam easily stopped him from doing so, leaning over the blonde boy then to connect their lips shortly.

"Happy 19th, Niall." They were still almost touching as Liam mumbled into the kiss, moving his hand to brush some hair out of Niall's forehead, smirking as the boy's eyes flattered open just a little, then he scrunched his sleepy face up a bit while staring at Liam.

"You stink." That caused Liam to laugh loudly as he leaned away after kissing Niall's nose, still leaving his palm pressed against the blonde's chest as he rubbed his eyes with his knuckles, blinking up at Liam. "You've been running? On my _birthday_?!"

"I came back before you woke up, didn't I?" But it was true anyways, Liam was still sweaty and feeling hot, he would've showered before waking Niall but he couldn't have resisted that sight. 

"You should've let me sleep, Li, I'm tireeed." Whining, Niall took the blanket, pulling it over himself completely under Liam's laugh, he was so cute when he was tired, maybe, if Liam's clothes hadn't been drenched he wouldn't have said no to climbing underneath the blanket and nap a while with Niall, but he really did need a shower right now.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, Ni, and then we'll see if maybe some tickles can wake the birthday boy." There was some more groaning and cursing coming from Niall, impossible for Liam to hear as he got up, just chuckling quietly to himself at seeing his boy rolled up into the blanket like this.

As hard as it was to leave him, for the second time today even though the first had been a lot worse because Liam had woken up with Niall clinging to him, he managed to walk out of the room then, quickly informing Louis and Harry what he was about to do since the bathroom didn't have a lock.

They both winked at him stupidly before continuing their breakfast, knowing exactly how damn excited Liam had been for today, since weeks now actually, he didn't even care about turning 22 in a few days, all he had been thinking about had been about today, spending it with Niall only, and seeing the look on his face once he got to see the surprise. But that'd have to wait for a few hours.

Liam tried to hurry up undressing himself and getting into the shower, though once he was there, the warm water unclenching his muscles made it almost impossible to just hop right out again. So Liam stayed there for a while, not moving much, smiling a little at imaging how he'd go back to his room in a while just to try and wake Niall up again because he probably had fallen asleep again, like always.

Which turned out to be a very wrong assumption, Liam was busy washing the shampoo out of his hair, not really paying that much attention to anything, obviously, maybe that was why he almost slipped as he heard the door of the shower slide open, and then a second later, arms wrapping around him from behind, causing him to flinch once more. "Jesus Christ, Niall!"

"Sorry, babes…" Niall calling him that before pressing his lips to Liam's shoulder blade made up for it immediately, well, actually the fact that he had come here at all caused Liam's stomach to twist into knots, feeling a bit more excited now as Niall stepped around him, keeping his hands on Liam's hips until he could see his still a little sleepy smile. "Thought I could need a shower." 

"Hmm, I think so too." Liam couldn't help but smirk as he moved a bit, softly pulling Niall with him by his arms so he could be under the water too, watching the boy's hair getting all flat and wet. This day had just gotten even better than it already had been. "Here, I'll do it, it's your birthday after all."

Niall grinned, as if he knew that that was probably the least reason why Liam grabbed the shampoo bottle again, placing a kiss on Niall's nose to make him giggle before starting to wash his hair, having Niall hum softly in approval, eyes almost falling closed. "You give the best head massages, Li…"

"So I've been told." Only by Niall though, but he never failed to do so, they had showered together a lot, well, they had practically done everything together by now, being together for almost 2 years, none of them was shy anymore to get naked or whatever it was they were doing. Even if it had taken a while until they had taken things any further, just, Liam had wanted to be sure it was what Niall wanted, that he didn't feel uncomfortable or had any doubts, he just wanted the very best for his boy. And it had been, their first time had been mind blowing, causing Liam to fall impossibly more in love with Niall, he did every day actually, whenever he woke up and found the boy curled into his side or on top of him, his heart could burst with adoration. 

"It's true…" The younger boy shut his eyes completely while Liam continued, taking extra care to caress his arms and upper body, making sure he got all the shampoo out of his hair then before cupping Niall's face gently, waiting until he looked up.

"You're absolutely gorgeous, Ni, have I ever told you that?" Smiling, Liam leaned down to kiss his boyfriend's lips, lingering a bit even as Niall answered, it was just so nice to be him like this, with the shower still running, no clothes or blankets in between them.

"Only a few billion times." Niall mumbled, making Liam chuckle into the kiss as the younger boy tightened his arms around Liam's waist, stepping closer until they were chest to chest. "I love you…"

"I love you too, baby." With that, he deepened the kiss, not too careful about holding back his sighs since the shower was making noise anyways and besides, Harry and Louis knew better than to interrupt. It had been quite funny actually, how they had been the ones starting to complain about Niall and Liam being too loud, probably regretting allowing Niall to move in. Well, he still was at home sometimes as well, but most of his stuff was at the flat anyways, plus, Liam's plans would soon cause a bit of a change in all of that. He was the only one already done with uni, which sometimes surprised him almost just as much as the fact that he had found a well payed job that he'd start in about a month, Liam had gotten really lucky after all of those troubles he's had, but things had gone really well ever since the accident, better actually, they had gone perfect. 

The kiss soon turned really heated, mostly because Niall was so overeager, pressing himself into Liam until his back hit the wall, his hips slowly thrusting into Liam's, a quiet moan escaping him that Liam could feel in his bones, moving a hand down from Niall's face to rub his side. "Babe… the door doesn't have a lock…"

"'s my birthday, I don't care…" As if to prove it, Niall shoved his tongue back into Liam's mouth, so forcefully that his head met the tiles on the wall, his fingers almost digging into his hips now.

It was pretty obvious what Niall wanted, Liam considered it for a while, kissing back deeply before deciding that it definitely would be worth it, besides, he wasn't really keen on walking out of here while being half hard. He continued kissing Niall for a while, stroking his cheek with his thumb gently before moving his lips, pressing them to the corner of the boy's mouth, then down to his jaw and neck, all while having Niall breath heavily from just this, holding on tighter. "You okay, Ni?"

"Y-Yeah…" His voice was shaking from Liam gently sucking on his neck, causing him to smile against Niall's skin, not minding the younger boy moving a hand to hold onto Liam's hair, moaning softly. "Liam…"

"Hm?" Having way too much fun with this, Liam kissed up to his ear, letting his breath tickle Niall, causing him to tremble slightly and almost painfully clinging to Liam as he whispered, all while holding him impossibly close. "Want me to blow you?"

The question caused Niall to let out a sigh, his finger nail's scraping over the back of Liam's neck as he took a second, eyes closed as he shook his head a little to Liam's surprise. "No… I want your face up here."

He caught Liam's lips in another kiss, not having stilled his hips, building up impossibly much friction between them that caused Liam to get a little bit more eager as well, yet he still took his time as he moved his second hand down as well, over Niall's neck, his arm and back, caressing the soft skin he had had his lips and hands on so many times. 

When he reached Niall's ass, Liam pulled away from the kiss, just slightly, causing Niall to let out a whine that almost made him smile. "Turn around, Ni."

Niall didn't obey immediately, he first of all kissed Liam again, their lips swollen and red by now, it felt great, even after all this time still with those tingles involved that Liam had felt the very first time as well. So he let Niall for a bit before gently attempting to turn him, causing Niall's arms to slip before he moved, back pressed against Liam's chest now, breathing shakily as Liam circled his stomach, he was always coming apart so easily. "Liam, I… you can just do it, you know…"

"But I like taking my time." Liam chuckled against Niall's neck as he resumed sucking, hearing the annoyed huff Niall let out that quickly turned into a moan as Liam reached his sweet spot, a hand flying up to the back of Liam's head to keep him there.

So that's what Liam did, both arms tightly wrapped around Niall's stomach as he continued sucking and kissing his neck, trying his hardest not to moan every single time Niall moved and rubbed his ass against Liam's hard on, but he held back because Niall was always being loud enough for the both of them. "Liam… please."

"Shh, don't worry." Just because Niall really did sound needy, Liam moved his arm up to gently take the boy's chin between his index finger and thumb, turning his head around to kiss him over his shoulder, Niall's jaw relaxing immediately, giving Liam easy access, hand still cupping the back of his neck.

For a while, Niall stayed quiet besides those tiny mewls once a while, just when Liam moved his hand downwards, still rubbing Niall's stomach, just lightly curling his hand around the boy's length then, causing him to moan insanely loud into Liam's mouth. That's what always happened, why the other two complained sometimes to Liam's amusement, because almost every touch caused Niall to get loud, he didn't even try holding back and Liam absolutely loved it, to actually hear what he could cause with so few touches. 

He jerked Niall off lazily, not really fast but it was enough to make Niall's mouth slip off of his, breathlessly clinging to Liam as the older boy nuzzled his nose behind Niall's ear, using his second hand to keep him pressed snugly into him. "I-If you carry on… this'll be over in t-two minutes…"

Liam smirked against Niall's skin, placing a kiss on the spot he had been working, knowing well enough that there'd be a bruise tomorrow for everyone to see. Good. "I wouldn't mind."

"But I would… _please_ , I-I want you, L-Li…" It was so hard for Niall to bring full sentences out because of Liam still stroking him, but he stopped at that, not wanting to be too much of a tease, it was Niall's birthday after all.

"Okay, babe, I'll just prep y-"

"No, don't just… get on with it." Niall tried to catch his breath, it seemed to be easier now that Liam was just holding his hips, rubbing his hands up and down, placing another kiss on his boy's shoulder, a little unsure about this. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Niall, even if he was being impatient once again, grinding against Liam, probably trying to get him to hurry. "Please. I'm still loose from last night."

The memory of that popping up got Liam even harder than he already had been, he still hesitated for a second though before sighing a little, knowing exactly that Niall wasn't gonna give in. "Okay, but if it hurts tell me immediately, alright? I'll be really mad if you don't."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." While pretending to be annoyed, there was lust glowing in Niall's eyes as he moved a bit to look at Liam, smirking as he pressed their lips together before switching places with Liam so he could support himself by leaning his arms against the wall, they had done this too many times before.

Despite that, Liam was still a bit nervous about this, water hit him again now because of the new position, he just carefully stepped behind Niall, circling his hips with his thumbs as he watched Niall who had his palms flat on the wall, leaning his cheek against, completely trusting Liam to do this. "I'll go slow, okay?"

"You can also go fast." It sounded a bit too overconfident, but Liam just rolled his eyes, smiling a bit as Niall shot him a smirk as he stepped closer, kissing the back of the blonde's head before moving his hands down. 

Seeing Niall like this, putting all his trust in Liam and letting him basically do whatever he wanted did things to Liam, not only was his boyfriend incredibly attractive to look at from behind, put it also almost caused warmth to grow in Liam's stomach from being trusted this much, from knowing that if he could be certain of only one thing in this world it was that Niall loved him with all his heart, that he loved him just as much as the other way around, and what else could've Liam asked for really?

Even though he knew that Niall probably got annoyed by him taking so long, Liam still tried to be extra slow and gentle, rubbing Niall's side as he stroked himself a few times before moving to spread the boy's cheeks to get more access, hearing Niall's breathing increase as he lined himself up. "Alright?"

"Yeah…" Niall sounded anything besides hurt, encouraging Liam to press forward into the tight heat, swallowing back a groan and instead moving his arm to wrap it protectively around Niall's stomach, using his free hand to support himself against the wall. "F-Fuck…"

Liam had to bite his bottom lip hard to not make any sound as he was buried to the hilt, no matter how many times they did this, it was still so mind blowing every time to be inside Niall, he could barely hold back and stay still, giving his boyfriend time to adjust, kissing his shoulder blade softly. "Tell me when I can move, okay, babe? Does it hurt?"

"No… fuck, Li, you feel so good… ah… move, please." In fact, Niall hadn't seemed to even need one minute to get used to it, his eyes were pressed shut as he leaned more into Liam, moving one hand to reach around and cup the back of his neck again like he always would, breath going hard. 

Yet still, Liam went extremely slow as he pulled out carefully before rocking back in, trying to ignore his arousal for a moment and just focus on Niall, ready to stop at any sign of pain or whatever, but it was quite the opposite actually, the younger boy gripped tighter onto him, moaning at every tiny movement, encouraging Liam to try and build up a solid rhythm.

The only downside to doing this in the shower was that one, they were wasting a hell lot of water and two, it was quite slippery, so Liam couldn't go as fast as he usually did in bed because he needed to make sure neither of them would get hurt, Niall especially, because he didn't pay half as much attention as he should've, too far gone to notice what was going on, only thing escaping his mouth were breathy moans, sometimes a few hardly understandable words. "G-Go faster…"

"Can't, babe… ugh… you're gonna slip if I do." To make up for it, Liam started kissing Niall's neck again, attempting to angle his thrusts more, trying to reach his prostate for a while before a yelp from Niall made him smirk.

"AH! Right there, Li… fuck, f-fuck, please… p-please don't stop, oh g-god…" He was almost sobbing now, probably being way louder than the water already, but Liam decided to take a risk, desperate to make Niall feel as good as he possibly could, moving his hand down then to wrap it back around Niall, jerking him off at the same time as fucking into him. "Liam… ah…f-feels s-so good, fuck…"

A few more harder thrusts was all it took for Niall to fall apart completely, with a moan that for sure even the neighbors had heard as Liam worked him through it, pleased for having made sure Niall came before him, even if he was almost on the edge as well. 

As Niall tried to calm down, breath still going fast, Liam wrapped both his arm back around the boy's stomach for more support, pressing his eyes closed, grunting unwillingly as he pressed his lips against Niall's shoulder in an attempt to shut himself up, continuing to thrust into him. 

"Come on, Li, come for me, babe." Niall's hand was moving through his hair, thumbing at his ear while he used that voice he knew drove Liam insane, it was so sexy, the way Niall almost purred while talking like this. 

It took a few more minutes, plus Niall attempting to do dirty talk that almost had Liam laughing if he hadn't been so close to finishing, his orgasm washing through him out of nowhere as he released inside of Niall, probably moaning just as loud as the younger boy had shortly before. "Fuck… I love you so much."

There was a quiet chuckle as Niall pressed his lips to Liam's ear, still holding onto him. "Hope you love me for more than the sex, Li."

"I love you for everything, babe… you know that, I love you more than anything in the world." Though he knew Niall had just been joking, Liam couldn't help but sounding genuine, he was still a bit breathless, trying to come down as he slowly lifted his head, seeing the smile wiped off of Niall's face.

"I know… I love you too, Liam, so much." He was almost just whispering now, eyes flickering down to Liam's lips before pressing his own against them shortly, not fully pulling away before mumbling. "Thanks for the best birthday morning ever."

That caused Liam to laugh breathlessly, even though Niall had said exactly those words last year as well, Liam was glad to hear them again and having stepped up his game a little, because what they had done for Niall's 18th birthday hadn't been exactly what he had had in mind. Leave it to Harry and Louis to be annoying enough to convince them to come out with them and have a drink, needless to say, they had both gotten drunk, plus Niall had gotten a bit tipsy, only with him, Liam didn't mind getting sloppy kisses and being clung to. "This is not only going to be the best birthday _morning_ ever."

They stayed like this for a second before Liam pulled out, the most comfortable for Niall that he could possibly manage before pulling both of them back under the water, Niall really could need a shower for sure now, both of them actually. Once again, Liam was the one doing most of the work, not that he minded taking care of Niall, he loved it actually.

After spending way too much time in the shower, they finally stepped out to Harry banging outside onto the door, cursing them for something because he had probably guessed what they had been doing, but Liam just smiled while wrapping a once again sleepy Niall up in a towel before pulling him underneath his own as well. That was maybe the best part, the snuggling afterwards, just holding Niall this close, the younger boy's face buried in his shoulder, his dripping hair pressed against Liam's cheek.

This was exactly what he wanted for the rest of his life, every day, resting in each other's arms, just enjoying the presence of the other, that's all Liam would ever need.

 

——————

 

One reason why Liam took Niall out for breakfast was that he wouldn't have been able to make him anything special for his life, the second reason was that Louis and Harry constantly dropped hints around Niall for knowing what the surprise was, never actually spilling it but it got Liam scared that they might cause Niall to guess it. He didn't, but probably only because Liam dragged him out of the door before he could ask any questions.

"So, what are we gonna do now? Did you really plan out the whole day?" Obviously, Niall was more than excited once they were done eating enough for probably five or more people, he looked extra beautiful today, his skin and hair tips glowing in the sunlight, wearing one of Liam's hoodies, like he usually did, smiling like the most happiest person alive. Well, he might have actually been, next to Liam because he was the one who got to experience being with this boy every single day.

"Not the whole day, but a lot of it, I mean, there's just one thing that we have to do, like, it's a necessity, everything else is an option, so if you have any ides on what you wanna do we can do that as well." After all, it was his birthday, and Liam would be fine with whatever Niall wanted to do today if it just involved the two of them spending time together.

"Oh no, I'm trusting whatever you have in mind, Li, you're the one who's creative with dates, not me." Which was more than true, but Niall chuckled anyways, reaching out to slide his fingers through Liam's like he usually did, smiling brightly. "So, where are we going?"

"Well… there's this place where we haven't been to for like two years and I thought that it'd be-"

"We're going to the zoo?!" For a moment, Liam was more than surprised for Niall guessing it within half a second, actually, he stopped both of them from walking just to stare at the younger boy, suddenly feeling a bit disappointed that the surprise was spilled. Though he tried to keep his facial expressions under control, Niall noticed the change of mood immediately, suddenly sounding really guilty as he bit onto his bottom lip. "Oh no, I… I meant… okay, um, let's go there then, you know, wherever you wanna take me, I… I have no idea where, right, let's go."

It took another minute before Liam just bursted out into laughter, how could he be mad when Niall was _seriously_ thinking that this had just been convincing?! "You're the cutest person alive, Nialler."

Still chuckling, Liam pressed his lips to blonde's forehead, seeing the relief in his face for having cheered Liam up, squeezing his hand. "Thank you, but I'm doubting I'm as cute as you are for recreating our first date."

"I'm not recreating it, babe, this'll be much better than the first time." Smirking, Liam started pulling the younger boy along by his hand, walking slowly though because Niall's legs sure as hell were a lot shorter than his.

"How so?" Niall cocked his head a bit while asking, probably not even noticing doing it, but Liam couldn't help staring for a second before answering, clearing his throat a little so he wouldn't lose track because of looking at the most adorable boy in the world.

"This time I get to kiss and hold you all I want to, and well, if you're still scared of the donkeys I'm-"

"Hey! I wasn't _scared_ of the donkeys, Liam, I was just unsure okay, there's a huge difference." The huff Niall let out made Liam laugh, pulling the boy in closer to be able to kiss the top of his head.

"Alright then, but you being _unsure_ about the donkeys was the most adorable part, Ni." For a moment, Niall seemed to consider this while Liam thought about to that day, not being able to hold his fond smile back as he watched the younger boy, thinking about how much he had changed since then, appearance wise, he looked more grown up now, more beautiful if that was even possible. Probably not, there wasn't exactly a way to look better if you already looked like an angel.

"In that case, I suppose I was a tiny bit scared." He suddenly confessed, starting to grin as he returned Liam's stare. "And if it gets me another one of those hugs you gave me back then, I can be slightly afraid again today."

"You can have whatever and how many hugs you want, Nialler." That's what Liam was here for after all, right? To show Niall every second of the day how loved he was, how damn much he needed him and how lucky he felt for being allowed to keep that ball of sunshine around. 

"I'll hold you to that." Of course he would, Liam just laughed, gently pulling his hand out of Niall's, wrapping it around his shoulders before the younger boy could start complaining, pulling him in to keep him closer.

They went by foot, of course, it had become a habit to Liam, besides, neither of them had a car, for obvious reasons, so it's not like they had that many choices. Sure, they could've taken the bus, but Liam wasn't too fond anymore of vehicles in general, and also, he just enjoyed walking with Niall too much, keeping him by his side, listening to whatever the boy started rambling about. And damn, that was a lot, but Liam absolutely loved it, no matter how random, he just felt so blessed for Niall wanting to share his every second with him. And only him.

Despite what Niall had said before, Liam could still see his hand shaking before reaching out to pet the donkey to 'proof' that he wasn't afraid anymore once they had reached the zoo, causing Liam to almost bursting out into laughter before wrapping the smaller boy up into his arms, not wanting to let go anymore.

And he also didn't for quite a while, because Niall had already made sure to tell him how much he loved his hugs, plus he showed him as well, hugging Liam back just as tightly, grumbling a bit into his shirt about 'he wanted to bite my hand off that's why I flinched', causing Liam to laugh more loudly than appropriate.

Niall only pretended to be pouting for like half a minute though before his energy was back completely. Maybe this time visiting the zoo really was even better than two years ago, though it couldn't really be compared to it because Liam had been extremely thrilled back then, but he was pretty damn sure that this day couldn't have gotten any more perfect than it already was.

Once it had gotten a little chillier, Niall had made sure to limit the distance between them to a minimum, which it had already been actually, but the more physical contact the better. So Liam had wrapped his arms tightly around Niall's shoulder from behind, his chest pressed up against the boy's back while they looked down into the bear cage, which Niall had figured out was his favorite, mostly because they were in no danger for being so far away, but also because he had caused Liam to pout by claiming that the bears looked exactly like him whenever he didn't shave for a few days. "That's not a very nice thing to say, Niall."

"Aw, come on." Niall just giggled, secretly making Liam smile as he leaned his chin against his boyfriend's head, only pretending to be slightly mad. "I'm not trying to be mean, it suits you when you have a beard, and I like it that you're so much musclier than I am, makes me feel really safe when you're holding me, you know. Besides, you're _my_ bear, Li-Li."

Well, alright, Niall had really saved it with that, Liam felt his stomach getting warm as he pressed Niall tighter into him, the younger boy's hands coming up to grab at his arms, rubbing his thumb over Liam's wrist as he rested his head on the older's shoulder. "Hm, what are you then, Ni?"

"I leave that up to you but I'm definitely yours." Liam could live with that, definitely, he chuckled before pressing his lips to the side of Niall's head, rocking them a bit without really noticing, he loved this, especially while knowing that he still got his surprise for later that'd hopefully make Niall even happier.

"That's true, mine only." He loved getting this possessive, especially when Niall enjoyed it this much, giggling and not trying to get away in the slightest as Liam kissed the boy's cheek a few times while squeezing him, careful not to hurt him but it seemed to be quite the opposite actually. All of a sudden, Niall just turned his head so that Liam's lips landed right on top of his instead of his cheek, which came quite unexpectedly but Liam just went with it anyways, enjoying the tingles he got from properly kissing Niall. "I love you, baby boy." 

"I love you too." They hadn't fully pulled apart yet, just whispering, breath mixing and Liam used the chance to kiss Niall once more, loosening his grip a little as he felt the boy wanting to move, turning so he'd have it easier, arms wrapping tightly around Liam's waist underneath his open jacket.

For a bit, Liam let Niall stand on his tiptoes as he tried to deepen the kiss before leaning down instead so the younger boy didn't have to stretch so much. Usually, they didn't go too far in public, sure, they were still all over each other, but Liam often found that he'd rather safe getting intimate when it was just the two of them. Just this time, no one was really around so he let Niall do whatever he wanted, kissing back just as hard, enjoying those tiny noises leaving his boyfriend's mouth, and how he clung to the back of Liam's shirt, lips all red and shiny as they pulled apart for air, breathing a bit harder than before, smiling at each other anyways. "Now you know what I meant with this time is going to be very different from two years ago."

"Because you didn't snog the life out of me back then?" Niall chuckled a bit, keeping himself pressed against Liam, rubbing their noses together before placing a kiss in the corner of Liam's mouth. "It's crazy though, huh? Almost two years already and you're not even sick of me yet."

"No one could get sick of you." Liam didn't even hesitate before answering, just rolling his eyes as he brushed his fingers through Niall's hair, stroking it out of his forehead as the younger boy grinned at him before snuggling his head into the crook of Liam's neck, letting out a content sigh. 

"But seriously though, time passed by so fast and it still feels like I've known you since forever… it's like, I never thought being in a relationship could be this easy, but it is with you, it's like breathing and I… I always knew we were gonna last, that we fit together somehow. And I mean, two years is not the world, but I think we're doing pretty well." There was a barely noticeable shrug that Liam felt all too well because of how close they were, Niall's cheek pressed against his shirt, his arms and chest warming Liam through the layers of clothing.

"We're doing very well if you ask me, babe. And I know what you mean, I used to be so scared of getting this close to somebody, make such commitments, but it's so natural with us, and you truly mean the world to me, Nialler, I wouldn't even know what to do without you anymore. Especially after… you know when the accident happened, and that really opened my eyes, because I was so afraid before, to even tell you that I love you, but I got a glimpse of what it'd be like to lose you and it's been the most horrible thing I've ever experienced. So I hope you're okay if I say that I think I'm gonna keep you around for some time. A very long time." Forever, preferably, but Liam didn't say that because it would've sounded too sappy, he just pressed his lips against Niall's head, hugging him tightly.

"I don't mind at all, Li, and don't worry about it anymore, okay? I'd never ever leave you and you know that, I love you way too much." They had talked about this a lot, the accident, especially shortly afterwards, because Liam had had such a hard time getting over it. He felt pretty guilty for a lot of things now though, for example all those nights he had had nightmares and woken up Niall, just to make sure he was alright, that he had just been asleep and nothing else. The younger boy had been very understanding though, not once had he told Liam off for any of this, or for becoming even more protective over him, always making sure to tell Liam that he was fine and that it would be okay, that he wouldn't leave him. Even now, Liam still sometimes stayed awake at night, staring at Niall while worrying over him, but he did it much less now than he used to, plus he let the boy sleep now instead of waking him.

"I know, babe… I wouldn't leave you either, I'd be completely lost without you." Which may sound sweet but it was the absolute truth, Niall was his everything and everyone knew it, that boy had been Liam's last string of hope to maybe get back to living a normal life again.

"You would be." Niall agreed before letting out a short laugh, nuzzling his face tighter into Liam, his fingers absently playing with the back of his shirt. "Imagine, then you'd have to be playing both Harry's and Louis' best man."

"That's one way to ruin the mood, good job." Despite the fact that Liam was trying to avoid this topic as much as possible, everyone else seemed to LOVE talking about it, Niall especially, because he was so overwhelmed about being a part of it. Maybe also because Harry had dragged both of them home with him last Christmas, because they always celebrated with Louis' family, Liam obviously didn't have anybody and Niall still visited his adoptive parents but they had to work even on holidays since they were doctors, all of them had been together. So that's how Niall had gotten involved even more and had ended up making everyone fall in love with him, including Harry's and Louis' families, and Liam as well, even more than he had already been in the beginning, which he hadn't thought would be possible but apparently it had been.

Not being affected by Liam's grumbling, Niall continued chuckling, kissing Liam's throat now, right over his pulse, causing him to get a few goose bumps that definitely hadn't come from the cold because Niall was like a living heater. "I'm just saying, Li, but luckily you do have me so you won't have to worry about that. And it'll be great, you'll see, I'm so happy for them, and there's only one year left until the wedding."

Yeah, Liam was happy too, but he would've been happier just watching instead of taking part. "A lot can happen in a year, I mean, I'm not implying that they maybe won't get married, I'm just saying, that's a really long time." 

If Liam could've seen Niall's face, he was 100% sure that the boy would've been rolling his eyes at Liam's desperate attempts to try and make himself believe that he had ages until that damn wedding, it's just, he was pretty nervous about this. "Liam, it'll be fine, I promise. Just think about the positive side of this, in one year you'll be settled in your job and I'll be almost done studying and we can move together and finally be able to sleep peacefully at night."

That had Liam laughing, he tried to hold back, but he just couldn't, it's not that he was so amused though, he just liked the trail of Niall's thoughts, and maybe also a little bit how clueless and adorable his boyfriend was. "You know, you're so cute, Ni, it's gonna kill me one day."

"What's so funny though?" Liam just shook his head even though Niall couldn't see him, still chuckling as he buried his face in the soft, blonde hair, pressing a few kisses there.

"Nothing, I just like that idea." Well, not the whole truth but not a lie either. As much as Liam loved his other friends, he couldn't wait moving into a place for just him and Niall, after talking about it for so long and seeing how well it worked out after Niall staying at the flat since almost a year now. In fact, Niall had even gotten a job just so he could save up for a place just for them, even if Liam had told him countless times that there was absolutely no need to, but he still did it anyways, though Liam had his dad's money, and the money from selling the house, even if he had never told Niall how much it actually was. For a very good reason that the boy was gonna find out later that day. "You really want to do that, right? Move in with me? Just us?"

"What kind of question is that, Liam? I can't fucking wait for that." It was Niall's turn to laugh now, causing a warm feeling to settle in Liam's stomach as he smiled while pressing his cheek against Niall's head. "Well, just us and maybe we should get a dog. Or a cat. Or both." 

"I'd like that." Liam confessed, because he really, really did, he wanted to have everything with Niall, pets, kids, a real family. Well, they already were a family, but Liam couldn't wait for more, they had talked about this before, but it seemed more appropriate now so he felt okay with asking about more serious things as well. "What about kids?"

"I do wanna have kids." Niall's breath was hot as he turned his head, mumbling against Liam's neck before placing a kiss. "Maybe only in a few years, 'cos I'm pretty young, but I definitely wanna have them. With you. After we got married."

"We're gonna get married?" It was a joke obviously, but Liam tried to sound surprised just to get Niall to huff, pinching Liam's back gently over his shirt.

"We are, Liam, and if you don't propose to me in the most creative and romantic way possible I'm gonna be very mad at you. And don't pull a Louis a on me and do it as a birthday present." The fact that Niall sounded so serious about this amused Liam even more, but he tried to keep it together, forcing his voice to sound sad.

"Aw, shit… now my surprise for later is ruined, that's awkward." Of course that hadn't been the surprise though, he wasn't gonna propose to Niall today, but the younger boy didn't have to know.

"Liam!" Immediately, Niall pulled back, staring at Liam with a more than confused face until he saw the older one laughing, causing him to roll his eyes."You're such a silly bean." 

"That's not exactly an insult, Ni." Actually, it had sounded quite fond, the blonde boy was grinning again already, his hands moving from Liam's back to his hips, still under the jacket.

"It wasn't meant to be." Then he got onto his tiptoes to press his lips against Liam's, not like before, but it still caused Liam to smile into the kiss, making sure he had his arms securely around Niall's waist so the younger boy wouldn't stumble. What he couldn't have seen coming though was Niall's stomach grumbling sometime in between, leaving Liam confused for a second until he pulled away to look into Niall's brightly flushed face, obviously trying to play it down, as if it had been a bad thing. "Oops."

"You hungry?" Laughing fondly, Liam placed another kiss on Niall's forehead, starting to move then, only leaving one of his arms around the boy's shoulder which got him feeling a little cold now as Niall was pressed into his side instead of his front. 

"A little." Niall admitted, which probably was an understatement though, Liam just knew him way too well.

"Come on then, I got a surprise for you, you're gonna love it." Especially after this conversation, Liam was absolutely sure of it, he was so excited to let Niall know now, after holding it back for so long, he couldn't wait to just burst out with it.

"As long as it involves food and you, then I'm sure I will." Niall's giggle was the cutest as he wrapped his arm around Liam's waist, reaching up to interwinds his fingers with Liam's on his shoulder like he always would, it was such a familiar gesture, but it still didn't fail to make Liam proud every single time. For being able to show off with that gorgeous boy tucked under his arm.

 

——————

 

They had to leave the zoo for Liam's surprise obviously, but it was alright because they had been in there for hours anyways, besides, Niall seemed to have gotten infected by Liam's excitement that he hadn't been able to hold back any longer now that they were almost where he had wanted to bring Niall to since more than a month now. 

"You sure this is where we should go? I've never been in this part of town…" This time they had had to take the bus, but it had been alright, it's not that Liam had a phobia now, he just would rather not drive himself anymore. Or at least, not while someone else was in the car too, but Niall had been more than concerned while they had been on the bus, trying to distract Liam the whole time, holding his hand, it had been more than adorable.

"I'm very sure, yeah." Liam couldn't help but laugh a bit as he saw the younger boy's confused face, squeezing his hand a bit while trying not to make it too obvious where they were about to go even if he was pretty positive that Niall was completely clueless.

It was a short walk from the bus station, luckily, because Niall got a bit fidgety, trying to trick Liam into telling him a few times, like he always did whenever there was a surprise, Liam found it quite amusing, but kept his lips locked of course, he wouldn't spill it now, five minutes before they were there. "This is slightly worrying me…"

At Niall's comment, Liam just pecked his lips which got the younger boy flinching, because Liam had told him to close his eyes once they had gotten to the building they had been headed for. By now, Niall could've probably guessed it but he still seemed to have no idea, so Liam tried his hardest not to make too much noise with the keys as he locked up, holding Niall's waist then as he helped him getting inside since he still hadn't allowed him to open his eyes. "Don't worry about it, you're gonna love this, Ni, I know you do."

Even if it didn't look like it at the moment, because Niall just looked confused, grabbing onto Liam because he was probably scared of stumbling or anything, even if there was no chance for that to happen, Liam wouldn't allow it. He warned Niall before going to pick him up bridal style, trying to hold back his laughter because of how amusing and exciting the whole situation was. God, he couldn't wait to see the boy's face.

"Alright, there are some stairs, I'll just carry you up there, okay? Don't freak out." Niall just nodded, his arms tightly wrapped around Liam's neck, face buried in his shoulder with hopefully still closed eyes as Liam moved.

Carrying Niall hadn't gotten any harder during the past two years, he could still easily hold him, for hours probably, but he put him down again once they reached the elevator, very carefully to not startle him, immediately wrapping an arm back around him. "I wanna open my eyes, Li, how much longer?"

"Five minutes, don't be so impatient." Liam teased the whining boy, but kissing his cheek because he was so cute when he was being like this.

So after a short elevator ride that had Niall so surprised that he almost jumped into Liam's arms, they were finally in front of the door that Liam had been wanting to get to all along. Locking up as quietly as possible, which wasn't hard because Niall kept complaining a little bit anyways, he opened the door up before gently grabbing Niall's shoulders, guiding him to stand a few feet inside of the flat, staying right behind him as he leaned down to whisper into the boy's ear. "Okay, open your eyes."

For a moment, he just waited for Niall to do so, leaving an arm around Niall's shoulders as he stepped to his side to be able to see his face better, not being able to hold back his grin as Niall blinked, confused, before staring at Liam. "Where are we?"

"Well, if you like it then I'd say we're at home." Immediately, Niall's face changed, from confused to surprised as he looked away from Liam to stare into the half empty flat again, his mouth dropping open, eyes going wide. 

"Wait, what?!" Finally, Liam allowed himself to laugh, quickly pecking Niall's temple before letting go of him to go and close the door, never once looking away from Niall, he wouldn't miss this.

"I bought it, it's my flat. Well, ours, if you haven't changed your mind about wanting to move in with me. It's not completely done yet, the water and electricity are running and there's a few things but I didn't wanna make every single choice without you." While talking, Liam was pleased to see Niall's eyes just growing wider with every word as he stared from Liam back inside the flat and then back again, suddenly moving his hands to cover his mouth in shock.

"Oh my god, Liam…" That definitely was not a negative reaction, though Niall's voice was almost inaudible and he just stared, obviously trying to progress this. "Did you really buy it?! What… I mean… how…wasn't it expensive as hell?!"

"I sold the house, remember? It… it got me a bit more money than I told you, and then I've been saving up and I had my dad's money too and anyways… it wasn't that extremely expensive, I didn't spend everything I got if that's what you mean, so… what do you say? You think you'll be able to stand living here with me?" Smirking, Liam watched as Niall slowly lowered his hands again, swallowing before his eyes suddenly filled with tears.

Before Liam could say anything though or even move, Niall had almost jumped onto him, his arms wrapping so tightly around Liam's neck as if he wanted to choke him, face buried into his shoulder, letting out a sob that made Liam want to cry as well, from happiness, he hadn't thought Niall would get _this_ excited, honestly. "I-I l-love y-you…"

"Aw, Nialler, I love you too, baby, I'm so happy you're excited. You are though, right?" Just to check, Liam's face felt like it would split from smiling so widely, he had his arms wrapped securely around Niall, rocking them gently while placing kisses over kisses into his hair, for once not feeling bad about having the boy crying and shaking.

"Y-Yes… I-I'm s-so h-happy… g-god…" There was a strangled laugh before Niall pulled back a little, his face wet with tear tracks, new ones coming that Liam tried to gently wipe away with his thumbs while Niall's arms were still around his neck, returning the smile a little bit through his tears. "I-I… I c-cant believe t-this…"

"You can, babe, it's alright, you have no idea how long I waited to tell you this, a month almost." Laughing softly, Liam pecked Niall's lips gently, well he planned on it however Niall immediately clung tighter to him, deepening the kiss until yet another sob forced him to break it off. "Come on, Ni, it's fine, I'll show you around, okay? No more crying, it's your birthday after all."

"Yeah… b-best birthday I've e-ever h-had." It was so cute, he tried to desperately get rid of the tears, return Liam's smile, but it was obvious that he wouldn't calm down for a while now.

Not that Liam minded, he just tried his best to help wiping the tears and kissing them away, soothing Niall's hair and making sure to hold him as the boy went to melt against him again, breath going shaky for a while as they just lingered in the hug, all while Liam couldn't hold back his stupid smile. But damn, now he was even more excited than he had been before, he so couldn't wait to finally move in now that Niall knew about it, it'd take a while until they had it ready, but probably less than a month.

As soon as Niall had calmed down enough, his wonderful smile and bright face came back as he let Liam show him around, clinging to his hand the whole time, making sure to tell Liam every two seconds how much he loved him and how happy he was and damn, Liam was too, happier than he had ever been before probably.

They didn't have that much furniture yet, though there was a mattress in where the bedroom was gonna be, they also had a working toilet and a shower, but it was the kitchen where Liam was actually headed to, saving it for the last so that Niall would be surprised once more. "So, you like it so far?"

"Like it? I _love_ it, Liam, it's absolutely perfect, I can't wait to see how it'll look once we got everything ready!" Niall was seconds from jumping up and down, making Liam laugh once more as he looked at that excited face, gently pulling Niall with him by his hand.

"Well, there's one more thing I need to show you, come here." Since Liam had had this planned out before, all of it of course, he had made sure that the essential things would be here already as they came to the kitchen, though they still didn't have a table or anything, but Liam had already considered that as well. "You know, I wanted to take you out to eat but it wouldn't be that special because we do it all the time, so I was here yesterday when you were at uni and I bought a few things and put them in the fridge and the stove works too, so…"

"Wait, you're gonna cook for me?" Now Niall was seriously surprised, it would've almost been offending if he hadn't been smiling brightly again a second later, trying hard to make himself tall enough to kiss Liam's cheek. "You're the absolute cutest, Li."

"I thought more about cooking _with_ you though, I'm too talented with burning things as we both know…" Too well probably, but it didn't do anything to Niall's bright smile, he just squeezed Liam's hand before letting go unexpectedly, wrapping himself around the older boy, causing his heart to bump a little faster.

"I'd love to do that, Liam, and no worries, I'll watch out so you won't burn our new flat down right away." The 'our' had Liam smile even brighter, because it was theirs officially now, even though Niall had complained a bit before, about how he hadn't wanted Liam to pay for everything himself, but he had calmed down then, since they still needed to buy a lot of things and anyways, Liam didn't wanna see the money as just _his_ , because whatever Niall needed, he didn't even have to ask Liam to get it for him. "Where are we gonna sit though?"

"You'll see, babe, it's… a surprise." Well, more a 'I didn't know which table to buy' situation, but Niall seemed thrilled anyways as Liam couldn't help but pepper his face in kisses, relived because the whole day had been a success so far, he still had Niall's normal presents to give to him later of course, also hidden in the flat, but that could wait for a while now, especially when he heard Niall's stomach demanding food once more.

Liam loved how domestic it felt while cooking together, they had done this before, but doing it in their own flat was something completely different, with none of the other two there constantly stealing food and coming in at the most inconvenient times. It's not that Liam hadn't walked in on them a whole lot as well, that just added up to the fact that it was better for all of them if they moved out, after all, Louis and Harry would too once they were done studying.

One of the nicest things was that Liam kept thinking about how worried he had been about all of this before he had met Niall, that he'd end up completely by himself somewhere in a shitty flat with no one else around and a job that he hated. But none of this would become reality now, he had literally won the lottery with Niall and he'd never forget to make sure the other boy knew that.

The 'surprise' Liam had been talking about was actually them having to eat on the floor, but they had a blanket to sit on and pillows as well, which had as a consequence that Niall was more thrilled than Liam could've ever hoped for. Well, maybe it was a little bit like a picnic, either way Niall seemed to love it so whatever it was, Liam was happy he had chosen to do it.

After they were done eating (and it hadn't even tasted as bad as Liam had been afraid of), he got Niall's other presents, much to the blonde boy's surprise, he even protested for a bit because of Liam spending so much money, but in the end Liam got rewarded with a way too tight hug and a kiss that left him breathless until a few minutes after. It had definitely been worth it.

"Hey, Li… ?" It wasn't until after they had cleaned up together, and Niall starting a fight with the bubbles from the soap, that they went back to lying down on the blanket, quite comfortable thanks to all the pillows and the door to the balcony being open right in front of them just as the sun was about to set.

"Hmm?" Liam had Niall's head in his lap, absently brushing his fingers through the boy's hair as he watched the sky, quite enjoying the silence that had settled around them, just enjoying each other's presence.

"You know I thought… can we stay over night? Here, I mean?" That question came a bit out of nowhere, Liam looked down to check Niall's face, but his eyes were closed in bliss, obviously enjoying the treatment he got, making Liam smile.

"Well, if you want to then of course. It's just, we only got the mattress and the blanket right here, it's not really thick." But the thought was quite appealing to Liam as well somehow, he kept staring down at Niall, brushing his thumb over the boy's cheek now, butterflies spreading in his stomach as the younger boy leaned into his touch, obviously not wanting him to stop.

"That's okay, then you just have to keep me warm instead." Smirking, he let his eyes flatter open slowly so they locked with Liam's, turning his head then to press an unexpected kiss to his hand before suddenly moving to sit up. "But I don't wanna leave somehow, it's so nice when it's just us." 

Automatically grabbing onto Niall's hips to steady him as he climbed into his lap, Liam couldn't help but smile, happy that Niall practically wanted to move in right away, because he did as well. "I like that too, Ni, and sure we can stay." 

"Good." Niall's bright face was right in front of Liam as the younger boy settled on top of him, sitting sideways on his lap now with his arms around Liam's neck, fingers brushing through the brown hair as he leaned in impossibly closer, almost brushing Liam's lips with his, nudging their noses together. "I love you. So much. Thank you for today, and for everything you have done for me, Li, I couldn't have ever asked for a better boyfriend. A better best friend."

Instead of answering, knowing he'd tear up, Liam tightened his grip on Niall's small hips as he let the distance between them disappear, trying to put all of his love into the kiss, because there was so much he wanted to tell that boy, so many things he needed to thank him for. He found it was easier to just show him. 

 

———————

 

It was late at night when Liam was woken up by some sound that he did off as nothing at first before he turned around on the mattress, the blanket half slipping off of him, almost leaving him freezing because both his and Niall's clothes were scattered all around the room.

The reason for that caused warmth to settle in Liam's stomach as he yawned, rubbing his eyes a bit as he tried to reach for his boyfriend to pull him back into his arms, seeking his body heat, but his palm touched nothing besides the empty mattress.

"Nialler?" Liam's voice sounded scratchy and too loud in almost complete silence, he tried clearing his throat as he turned around, trying to blink his eyes open, too sleepy to fully progress anything right now.

"'m right here, babe." Niall's voice came from just a few meters away, which was more than confusing, especially because of Liam's tiredness, but he still tried his best to sit up on his elbows, rub the sleep out of his eyes as he looked around the room, not having to search for very long.

His boyfriend was sitting on his knees in just boxer shorts, leaning over to look at something with the light of his phone, in his other hand was a pen, no hints to help Liam figuring out what the hell he was doing there in the middle of the night. "You okay?"

"I am." As if to proof it, Niall shot him a smile that Liam could barely see, they didn't have any curtains yet so it wasn't completely dark, but neither that nor the screen of Niall's phone helped too much.

"What're you doing?" He was fighting hard to not lie back down, close his eyes again and pass right out, but he couldn't do that without Niall being cuddled up into him. "Come back here, baby, it's really cold without you."

That had Niall chuckling softly, he looked down again, doing something for a bit before getting up all of a sudden to come back to the mattress, his figure hovering over Liam for a moment before he got down. "I'm sorry. But I'm done now anyways."

"With what?" Opening the blanket and attempting to untangle it, Liam made space for Niall, not expecting him to lie down onto his stomach next to him though, a smile on his face and something in his hand that looked a lot like some paper that had been crumbled up a bit too often.

"You know, I wrote something. For your birthday, I mean, but ever since today, I had to change a few things and luckily I had it in my pocket because I didn't wanna leave it at home for Louis and Harry to accidentally find." Then he leaned forward to press a kiss onto Liam's lips before leaning his head against the older boy's chest, humming softly at Liam's fingers threading through his hair gently. 

"Read it to me." Liam said without thinking about it, but he had gotten really curious now, not minding that it wasn't his birthday yet.

"I thought about doing that actually… since it's our first night in our new flat, it's special, right? But I didn't wanna wake you up just for that." Repositioning himself, Niall cuddled closer, still on his stomach though, one elbow on the mattress and the other on Liam's chest, still holding the phone towards the paper so he could see, biting his bottom lip slightly. "You wanna hear it? It's just… some thoughts, you know, nothing special."

"I don't mind, of course I wanna hear it, babe." Actually, Liam's heart was melting at this, Niall writing something for him, he was drawing patterns onto the boy's arm while adoring his face, the messed up hair that had been completely his own work from before, the soft curve of his lips, the slightly pink cheeks in comparison to his milky pale skin, he was so gorgeous.

"Okay, just… I'm not so talented with writing." It almost sounded nervous now, he let out a breathless laugh, quickly checking Liam's face then but he was just smiling sleepily, he didn't care whatever Niall had written, just the fact that he had was enough.

"Don't worry, baby, me neither." Niall cracked a smile at this, leaning up once more to kiss Liam, but he only reached his jaw this time, which was fine as well, before settling back, clearing his throat a bit before he stared at the paper again, more blush creeping into his face.

That's how Niall started reading, at probably 3am, with his soft, angelic voice that Liam could've listened to for hours on end and he might have teared up a few times in between, but he didn't stop stroking Niall's arms and hair, hardly able to believe that this was _his_ boyfriend. Because truly, he was way better at writing than he had thought, and Liam's heart felt as if it could have bursted once Niall was finished and they just looked at each other, not having the need to immediately speak up because they just _knew_. And that was the best part really, that security Liam had because of Niall, that no matter what, he knew he was loved and needed, that he had a place he belonged to. A family. And that's all he had ever been searching for.

 

_Liam,_

_I tried writing this a few billion times probably, but it's hard to find time to do it because you're such a light sleeper. And also, it's pretty hard to get out of bed if I could be staring at you while you're asleep, you know? Anyways, I figured I needed to tell you this, even though I hope you already know the way I feel towards you, always have and always will._

_You know when I first saw you, I honestly didn't think much other than that you were about the most attractive person I've ever seen. But I was scared, because all of this uni thing was new for me, being around so many people at once, so I never had the courage to speak to you, even after I had watched you for a while, and I don't know why I felt so drawn to you, but I was curious to find out more about you for some reason._

_I promise, I didn't start speaking to Louis because of you though, I'm not that much of a creep (and don't you dare laughing now!), but I do admit that I made up the whole studying thing when I came to your table at lunch. I did it because of you, because I wanted to get to know you, and Harry and Louis seemed to be the only people you ever talked to, so that was like my only chance._

_There was something about you, you know even when I knew exactly how much I was annoying you, I felt the need to just keep trying, just because you were different, as cliché as this sounds, but it's true. Because you know, you reminded me of myself, because that's how I used to act around people, pushing everybody away, not wanting to talk because I wasn't always the way you got to know me._

_And I knew you weren't like this without a reason either, I've seen how you treated your friends, how you kept helping Louis with my laptop though it was probably the last thing you wanted to do, but you still did it, and you even helped me in the library and drove me home. I know you always call yourself a bad person, Liam, but I knew from the beginning that you weren't, and I'll tell you that for as many times as you'd like to hear it._

_I can't even tell you how happy I was when we started becoming friends, and maybe this sounds stupid as hell but I fell so quickly for you, it was so easy with us, from the first time we hung out. I've never had that, never experienced getting along so well with somebody so quickly, becoming so attached in such a short amount of time. And I was always so happy when I was with you, even afterwards when I went home, all I kept thinking about was just Liam, Liam, Liam and that was so new to me, but I loved it, the butterflies I got whenever I saw you across the hallway, the tingles whenever we touched, no matter how shortly._

_I could go on like this, Li, and talk about our first kiss and our first date and the first year in general, but then this'd be a novel instead of a letter (would you read my novel though if I wrote one, Li? just kidding!)._

_What I really wanted to tell you is that, no person has ever made me feel like you, so loved and special and safe and just so damn happy. I'm serious, sometimes I just start smiling like an idiot even when I'm on my own just because I'm thinking about you._

_And I know, it never seemed like it, but I wasn't as confident as I pretended to be when I first came here, I was terrified actually, I had no idea what might happen in the future, if I'd even just find one single person who would want to talk to me. So thank you, for being my friend, my_ best _friend, something I've never had before, but I do now & I'll never be able to thank you enough for saving me, Liam, and for making me want to try and be the best person I can possibly be._

_But most of all, thank you for making me feel at home whenever I look at you, for being the family I always needed and for wanting to move in with me. I'm serious, the flat was the best surprise you could've ever given me and I'm so overwhelmed by the fact that it's OURS, just you and me, can you believe that?!_

_You're absolutely wonderful, babe, and you're beautiful, inside and out, and I wish you'd believe me, because I know you still sometimes struggle to do so, but it's true & I would never lie to you. You're so strong and I'm forever gonna be proud of you for everything you managed to pull through, I look up to you so much, whether you believe me or not, but I truly do._

_Next time when you're struggling, with anything really, then just look at this letter, because it's proof of how much I believe in you, no matter what happens, I'm always right here by your side & I got your back, Li, I promise, I'd never give up on you, on us. Ever._

_So whatever might come or happen in the future, that's one thing you can always be certain of, my love and admiration for you, and that, for what it's worth, I think you're the most amazing and wonderful human being there could ever be and I'll be forever grateful for having you in my life and being able to call you mine._

_(by the way, you look absolutely stunning right now even though you just woke up, but that blanket barely covering you suits you really well ;) )_

_Happy birthday, Li, I'm always going to love you (and I really mean this, I love you so much it hurts, but it's a good hurt, don't worry. Sorry for rambling even when I'm writing you love notes.),_

_Niall ♥_


End file.
